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Messages - Alexandra Lost

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First, I would want to know the specifics of these homeopathic extractions and if they are truly homeopathic. Because that’s not the same as low dose. True homeopathic medicine relies on the idea that the substance changes the nature of water itself and that those changes persist even after the substance has been completely diluted out of the water ....that  water somehow holds a memory of what used to be in it.  I find this concept hard to swallow, as it were and even if it that part was believable I’m not sure that anyone’s attempted to explain the mechanism through which the altered water attains the same medicinal effects as the original substance.

But sometimes this gets confused and some people refer to really low doses as homeopathic. I have had real success with really low doses of root bark. I think I mentioned in a previous thread that I would microdose at 35mg of root bark a day ... I would literally open a 350 mg capsule and break it up into 10 doses.

I have an extraordinarily high sensitivity to SSRI’s, and I think I was reacting to an SSRI component of the bark, and that in higher doses this effect was dampened by the other psychoactive components of the root bark.

 I did have a profound experience like those described while doing this kind of micro-micro dosing.

But I was also working extensively with yoga and meditation practices during that time and I was participating in a workshop on pattern-shifting when I had the experience. And since then I have had similar shifts from just the yoga / meditation modalities. The  experiences always involve dreams, too.

It seems like all the cases in his case studies ( which are really no more than anecdotal, there doesn’t seem to be much scientific rigor in those studies) were people that were ready to change. And were talking to someone about it. And they believed they were taking a miracle drug.

That plays a large part. Now, low dose iboga can certainly open a lot of doors for someone that wants to change and is willing to do other work and combine it with other practices.  I did this with amazing results.  But if it was truly homeopathic, patient expectations alone might have yielded those results.

Introductions / Re: My Birthday, in more ways than one
« on: April 08, 2018, 09:00:53 AM »
Long time, everyone!

I just thought I’d pop in with a quick note to let everyone know I’m still around. And still clean - although there were a few occasions where I took a couple of grams of kratom for energy - I’m still not perfect or anything:).

But no opiates. And I have a much better life now. 5 years ago I was very distant from my family but now we have reconnected and are very close. And, through my yoga practice,  I have made lots of friends and I feel that  I am part of a community.

This is what keeps me clean. The life I have now is not compatible with addiction. Connection is really the key.

Thank you for this.

Micro-Dosing / Re: Microdosing conflicting information
« on: June 10, 2016, 05:46:47 PM »
Very interesting post, Ryu.

Technicalities aside , I don't think I would be too concerned unless I felt like there was something inhibiting the healing process or that a positive effect was being dampened.

Brain chemistry is all really very complicated, and there are other factors like re-uptake rate .....which can be affected by complex substances like Mucuna and iboga. And everyone's brain chemistry is different and we all know state of mind makes a huge difference, too.

When I've taken iboga and mucuna at the same time ( it's been a while ), I felt that the mucuna took edge off some of the anxiety side effects, so another POV might be that the interference can be a good thing.

I generally take it in occasional largish doses before a deep meditation. My interest is not so much the dopamine as the trace amount of 5-MeO-DMT contained in the mucuna plant. It really is a trace so the effect is subtle, but it's there.

Micro-Dosing / Re: Microdosing conflicting information
« on: June 03, 2016, 10:01:37 PM »
Just a clarification.

Here's the thread  from 2013 where I describe my microdosing schedule -  it was a little lower than I remembered.

Post #6 is the relevant one .... I pretty sure I took a 600mg dose only once or twice - all else was under 300

Micro-Dosing / Re: Microdosing conflicting information
« on: June 03, 2016, 05:30:56 PM »
I'm not a neuroscientist or a chemist either, but I have microdosed in a way similar to what you are doing.

Everyone has a different body chemistry and iboga rootbark has several different active components. For me, I feel the SSRI effect very strongly in the very small doses. If I take a larger dose ( say 150mg to 400mg, which is still considered a low microdose. ) it's not the same effect X10. It's a little more powerful but mostly it's a different effect.

While I have been working with the low microdoses as a booster, my INITIAL microdoses were much higher at 350-700mg a day. One downside to using the really low doses is you're probably not getting much of the noribogaine "glow" - this is a metabolite that has some selective opioid receptor binding, very important in addiction interruption.

I also get a lot of the anger/irritability with the low doses, especially if I don't commit to a long daily meditation. I've actually refrained from microdosing for the past several months because I've been under much stress and I'm concerned about managing those effects, opting to stick with yoga and meditation ( and mucuna dopa, which is subtle but nice ).

BTW, I'm at the 3 year mark this week and still basically clean. I haven't been perfect but my "slips" have been mild and few and far between.

Micro-Dosing / Re: My microdosing progress
« on: February 18, 2016, 11:19:06 PM »
Thank you. I really wish for that reset. But I know it's different for everyone. I hope you don't mind, just a few more questions from me. If you become reset how come then it's possible to go back to old habits? Don't you lose that desire for self destructive behavior? Or does it take a lot of work to keep that fresh mindset?
For example, if you had a traumatic memory that made you feel you are somehow not worthy of good things and Iboga scrubbed it away, why would you still go back to behavior that you developed because of that particular trauma?

Let me jump in here. I micro-dosed starting in June 2013 ( steadily for about a month, then on and off for another 6 months or so.) I was seeking addiction interruption as well as personality reset. I was taking opium poppies, kratom, Prozac and Welbutrin ( all in small doses and I would mix it up, varying the cocktail so I didn't get physically dependent on any one drug.) So one day I realized I hadn't been sober in so long that I had completely lost my true self.

I managed to taper to practically nothing before I began microdosing and then I stopped completely when I started taking the root bark capsules. Long story short ( search for my posts if you want the long story long ) it worked and I am clean and I have a new life.

Anyway- for my take on your question - think of a "thought" as the neurons in your brain firing in a particular pattern. That pattern burns ruts into your brain much like the wheels of a cart make ruts in a dirt road. The " reset" can act like a plow, churning your thought patterning and smoothing out the ruts, but if you fall into the old thought patterns you'll burn the same ruts back in. The iboga energy should be channeled into finding the new perspectives that will allow you to move to more empowering thought patterns, without pushing back against the old ones ( which can backfire).

I found the tools for this in yoga, meditation,chakra therapy and breathwork. These may not be for everyone but they worked for me.

One thing I found when I was microdosing was that there was often a homeopathic like effect. I found smaller doses to be more effective - they had an energizing effect that I didn't get in larger doses -- so I often felt more from one 325mg rootbark capsule than I did with 2 or 3.

And my last point is that the best way to make the reset stick is to use the iboga glow period to start building a new hobbies and pastimes, I recommend things involving exercise and/or meeting new people with shared interests. This will help you in the long run.  I only slipped once with the opium poppies ( the most problematic ingredient in my cocktail ) and that was about a year after I quit. It was a beautiful summer day and the kid was away on vacation. I was doing some deep housecleaning and I began to find stray pieces of poppy pod. So, some part of me thought " you know what would make this day even better?", so I ground up the pod pieces and mixed then with some yogurt. Now, it didn't seem like that much and I wasn't expecting more than a little buzz, but as soon as I got to yoga class it kicked in hard, I couldn't connect with anything and the easiest sequences were suddenly hard. And my friends were noticing this so I told them I was feeling really sick all of a sudden and I went home instead of going out to dinner with them. I spent the night in that weird opium trance, not really sleeping but drifting in and out of dreams - which I used to like but it just annoyed me that night.

Im actually glad this happened because I haven't been at all tempted since, and it all comes down to having a new life that is totally incompatible with my old ways.

Staying Clean / Re: Pranayama & meditation
« on: August 15, 2015, 01:32:48 PM »

So, with the counting, or you simply mentally stating "Sat Nam" in your head when you count? Have you noticed any interesting energetic effects with this technique? Is this technique used as a method to raise kundalini?

Appreciate your input here, and the instructions, this is exactly what I was practicing before so I'm going to go back to it. Spinal breathing pranayama and its tantric equivalent cobra breath also seem like interesting and powerful pranayama techniques.

I'm still playing with counting and Sat Nam -- at first I was doing 1 Sat Nam 2 Sat Nam to keep count ( kind of like 1 Mississippi ) to keep from rushing the counts but that felt like too much too fast.  I've changed it up to a slow Sa Ta Na Ma (1 count per syllable ) which is better paced for me and I can repeat it 1 2 and 4 times without counting.

Now I am doing this as part of a longer practice so it's hard to evaluate the effects of this specific element -- I don't really think of it as a way to raise Kundalini,'s more like it clears the pathways and makes the other usually more physical kriyas that raise the Kundalini more effective.

I get a lot of nice energetic effects from the Kundalini practices - mostly a sense of balance and uplifted energy -- but I process these things slowly and I usually don't get the effects until well after the practice is over -- I find I need to take a couple of days off from yoga each week to assimilate and integrate the practices. I know other people process it differently- my teachers will often inquire about "what came up" during an exercise - my classmates often have answers but mine is "I'll let you know tomorrow".

I practice yoga almost exclusively in a class setting - I really don't have the discipline or focus do pull off a full-blown 60 or 90 minute session in my living room. Besides, in terms of addiction recovery, the sense of community is important. So is the aspect of getting out of the house and keeping busy with activities I enjoy. A writer named Jonathan Hari that has studied addiction has a thesis that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, the opposite of addiction is connection - specifically human connection.

Staying Clean / Re: Pranayama & meditation
« on: August 12, 2015, 10:07:23 PM »
It's interesting that you posted this now. I just started a Kundalini yoga series that features a variation of alternate nostril breathing.

Place the index and middle finger of the right hand on the third eye, and use the thumb and ring finger to close and open the nostrils. Don't rush the counts. You can mentally vibrate Sat Nam as you count.

Close the left nostril and inhale through the right on the count of 4.
Close both nostrils and hold for a count of 16
Open the left nostril ( keeping the right closed ) and exhale on a count of 8
Inhale through the left on a count of 4
Close both nostrils and hold for 16.
Open the right nostril ( keeping the left closed ) and exhale on a count of 8
Inhale through the right nostril on a count of 4
etc etc etc

Do this for 15 minutes to start. Don't think that the breathing stuff is easy, this exercise is quite possibly the hardest thing I've ever done in a yoga class. We are going to eventually double the counts on everything and do the cycle for 30 minutes.

Two years ago I used root bark microdosing along with meditation to rid myself of a low dose poppy pod / kratom addiction. I had tapered almost all the way off both substances but there was about a week when I was taking maybe a gram of kratom and a gram of ground pod powder a day along with a 325 mg dose of root bark.  Once I had tapered completely off the kratom and poppies I continued the microdosing for about a month at that level. After that, I microdosed on and off for six months or so, finding I needed lower doses and shorter "on" cycles each time.

But the meditations while microdosing were the key and they helped me gain a self-awareness and understandings of my behavior and my place in the world.  I am still clean 2 years later and I have a new life that's not compatible with drugs. I also feel that the microdosing gave me an important neurotransmitter reset that allowed me to be truly happy without drugs.

Hope this helps.

Eboka Talk / Re: How to Solve Problems
« on: June 05, 2015, 09:32:08 PM »
As John Lennon said in the awesome song "Watching the Wheels" there are no problems, only solutions.

The key is to learn examine your relationship to what you perceive to be a problem and look for a repeating behavior pattern that is driving it. You will probably find a pattern that isn't working for you anymore - and the resolution does not lie in fighting or resisting the pattern - the solution is to find a way to subtly shift the pattern to one that is more empowering. This can be as simple as exercising a certain kind of mindfulness about these patterns and consciously shifting them whenever they arise, or counteracting them with physical poses ( which is kind of the definition of yoga ). Do you know anyone who uses a lot of hand gestures when they talk? Have you ever tried holding their hands behind their back and asking them to speak? They will probably find it difficult - our brains are funny in the ways they link the physical and emotional parts of the brain and you can put that interaction to good use.

This really works - it has transformed my relationship with my family in an amazing way. I now embrace my role in my family instead of resenting it.

Staying Clean / Re: A Suggestion for Addiction After-Care
« on: May 30, 2015, 10:34:08 AM »
While I can't really speak against the judicious use of etheogens to deepen mediation as part of after-care without being hypocritical, I think judicious is the key word.

I don't post much but I follow this forum and there is pattern I see frequently where a week or so after the flood, when the glow is wearing off -- of "Ok, that didn't work, what drug shall I take next?"  This is the addiction talking. The addictive brain is always thinking ahead -- it's not this drink that is going to make me feel better, it's the next one".

An important part of kicking the addiction is to learning to be with and ride out an uncomfortable mental state. Reaching for a drug every time you feel bad hampers your ability to develop the other tools you need to live addiction-free.

If you do this long enough the new patterns start to kick in and you find yourself reacting differently without consciously thinking about it. It's kind of awesome when this happens to me and I reflect on it later. I recently went through a kind of horrific family tragedy ( the kind of thing my family is known for ) and I didn't even have to fight the urge to drown my sorrows in alcohol or opiates. The first thing I did was reach out to my friends ( new friends, people I met after I quit taking drugs ) for comfort and support.  The situation was stressful and it sucked and I wished things were different but I realized I needed to process a lot of stuff quickly and drugs weren't the answer.

Just my two cents, probably not a popular opinion but it worked for me.

Introductions / Re: Hi
« on: April 01, 2015, 08:34:58 PM »
Welcome to the forum I-Man! I'm new here myself, having also been a lurker :)

I certainly have a lot to learn when it comes to iboga and although I'll be microdosing from this weekend for the first time using powdered RB, I've never had a flood. Based on what I've read from multiple sources, I agree that 25mg/kg sounds like way too much as it's at the very top end of a flood dose. I can see you're experienced with psychedelics, but as you've experienced some mental health issues, I would urge extra caution be taken. Was Michelle aware of your background and sensitivity to drugs before advising you? I don't have any experience with IW but have read very mixed reviews about them.

I'll be posting my microdosing report on Erowid when done so feel free to PM me if you'd like a link - my symptoms are very similar to BPII so hope it might be of some help!

I haven’t posted much lately but I wanted to say that you should never underestimate the power of microdosing.
Iboga found me almost 2 years ago. At the time I was taking, on a daily basis – poppy tea, kratom, Wellbutrin and Prozac.  Granted, I wasn’t taking particularly high doses of any of them but I was a slave to this cocktail and I wanted out.

I had almost completed a taper when I began microdosing and I completed the taper shortly after. I did several microdose cycles over the course of the next 9 months or so, with each cycle being shorter and the dosages smaller. For me, Iboga is almost homeopathic  -- I get a better effect from smaller doses – it’s a cleaner energy that is easier for me to work with.  My last microdose cycle was something like 35mg of RB a week for a month ( not a typo, I break up a 350mg RB capsule into 10 doses).

When I was doing those microdose cycles I was doing other work. I made an effort to eat better. I began taking yoga classes – I started slowly slowly but I now take between 5 and 8 90 minute classes each week. I made new friends and begin attending open mikes and conscious dance events.

MY personal transformation involved a lot of meditation and chakra work as well as iboga. Iboga, in addition to these practices, opened me up to finding and shifting the patterns that lead to my disempowering behaviors and negative mental states, I had some total perspective shifts that changed my relationship with my family and my job for the better.

I did have a couple of slips but they were isolated and served to teach me that my new life is not compatible with drugs. I haven’t slipped in a while now.

I find that Kundalini yoga, in particular is a good fit with Iboga. I believe that Iboga works from the root chakra – which is why it gets so deep – and the crux of Kundalini yoga is moving the energies up from the lower chakras to the higher ones. I recommend this practice highly.

I have considered aya or peyote for some additional enlightenment and I may try those someday, but for now I have decided it is not the right move. One of the patterns of addiction is mentally reaching for the next drink or the next drug before the one you just taken has a chance to work, so I’m going to continue to work with what I have…besides yoga provides we with a very real and tangible high ( why else would I do it so much  :)? ) and that’s all I need.

Introductions / Re: My Birthday, in more ways than one
« on: October 18, 2014, 12:25:10 PM »
So, I haven’t been around much lately but I thought I’d check in with a progress report.

Long story short, It worked. I’ve been substantially clean for almost 18 months now, and the few slips that I had were minor and isolated.  I have a whole new life now.

I worked hard to build a sustainable recovery – I took care not to jump into a dozen different ventures that I wouldn’t follow through on. I started by taking a few yoga classes, then I took a few more. I started to meet new like-minded people and eventually some of them become close friends. I developed a regular social life. I joined a women’s group and a global awareness discussion group and made more friends.

Through my meditations, chakra work and neuroscience study, I began to explore the patterns that had been driving my behavior and began to learn to recognize them and move them towards more empowering and healthy patterns. The Iboga was a wonderful plant teacher and I took care to treat it as a teacher instead of letting it do all the work for me.  I micro-dosed on and off for about a year, moving towards smaller doses with each micro-dose cycle. But I learned to tap into and replicate some of the plant’s energies and now I can recall those tools at will without micro-dosing.

And I don’t crave or miss drugs at all. The most important thing I’ve learned is that when you are “high on life”, you’re still high. It really is wonderful being happy so much of the time without being disconnected from reality and world around me.

On my last micro-dose cycle early this summer, I literally took 35mg of RB a week for 5 weeks. This is not a typo and it was possibly my most effective cycle ever. Based on my experience, I strongly believe that there is a homeopathic resonance to Iboga and that less is often more – that is what I hope other’s might take away from my experience


General Discussion / Re: Poppy sourcing
« on: December 17, 2013, 05:00:05 PM »
I just sent you a PM

Eboka Talk / Re: Failed a flood dose (20g) on the methadone patient. Why?
« on: December 17, 2013, 04:32:22 PM »
I finally found this old thread

it's very technical, but the upshot seems to be that there are people that lack an enzyme ( or produce it in limited quantities) that is required to metabolize Ibogaine into the substance that quells withdrawals.

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