Topic: THE CRAVINGS SURVEY -

[JohnnyB.Goode]

heroin / opiate cravings .....

did your cravings ever FULLY go away ?

permanently ?

for how long ?

after how many floods, boosters, etc ?

[roy d]

Hi JBG,

In a way the rest of your life but not as strong.  I had been using for 10 years or so and moved to Houston and wanted it all the eight years I was there.  Then, again and again, same thing, different state.  Then in March of 2010 I did my fourth Ibo treatment and that helped.  I went a whole year using only $10 per month.  Then started with NA and have been clean for the last 8 months.  First time I have been able to do that since I was a kid and living where I could get it.  After 40 plus years of using I find it helps to change your buds and never go in to a bar for even if you do not have a drinking problem it can lower your inhibitions and you go cop.  You also got to change your way of thinking.  Sorta like pick the person that you want to be like and start acting that way.  And I'm not gonna tell ya about don't take the first drink, puff, shot, hit, etc. etc. for you know that.

Best,

  Roy

[achtwan]

i suppose i am in the extreme minority here...also i noticed you mentioned heroin,dont know if you were talking opiates in general...

my last dance was with methadone.

i was treated in 05,with hcl.

one go was all it took for me...i honestly cannot recall having the desire to use opiates to get high since then.

i have had to take vicodin twice in that time,once when hospitalized,the other for a tooth...
i did not like the way it made me feel...i felt grimy and dirty inside...it was gross.

i attribute a lot of my success to working on my sickness with ayahuasca for a couple years before i ever had ibogaine.

it really,really helped i do believe.

by the time it was time to take the medicine i was so ready...so ready to put that life behind me...i swear the medicine was working on me before i took it...

full speed ahead,no looking back....

this april was seven years for me.

[roy d]

Hi Ach,

It's so nice to hear a story like that, I believe every word.  Now, if you told a DR that he would most likely not believe it, he is conditioned that way.  Some people need 4 or 5 times before they get it and others get it the first time.  Man I wish I got it the first time.  Seven years is a long time, you got a lot to be proud of.  May I ask if you changed those that you hung with and maybe your way of thinking?  It just seemed to be so natural for ya.

Best,

  - Roy

[achtwan]

yes,i definitely changed some habits right off the bat.

i didnt have too much trouble not hanging out with unhealthy people,i was so ready to move on,there was no reason to associate with those folks...

that being said,a couple of my closest,dearest friends were still sick,we went down the road to hell together....
more brothers than friends...so as far as my dearest,no i didnt stop hanging with them.

i did what was right for me...i immediately began training martial arts,and continued to work with the plants that gave me back my life,and tried to be as good a friend as i could...and show them that there is a way out of hell.

as far as changing my way of thinking...that occured over the couple years prior to my flood while becoming allied with ayahuasca....

by the time i was ready to flood,i was so ready it was like that was just the finisher...the iboga literally finished off what ayahuasca could not....i knew what i wanted...life and health....vitality....to live as a free man...

when the time came,the iboga was just a knockout blow to that monster....it reaffirmed everything i allready had learned,it gave me the chance to move forward and do it.

i never think about going back...its just dead in me.i would not be able to do or enjoy any og the things in my life the way it is now.
i would not be able to train,i would not have my friends...i would not have my beautiful woman,the only woman i have ever loved,or who has loved me for that matter...i would not have my health.

viva ayahuasca!!
viva eboka!!!

[BlueTiger]

Roy D, depends what doctor, no?   

Achtwan, your post gave me chills.  Sounds like you are doing great.  I am so intrigued with Ayahuasca and Kambo now, but I will save that thinking for later.  Going to start microdosing Iboga very soon.....and continue to be my potent self.  Martial Arts sounds like it works well for you, I am a becoming a yogi, which I am grateful for.   

Sorry I didn't answer the question Johnny B.  Not ready to, but did want to reply to these guys.

[everseeaflowerandhateit?]

I've been fighting H addiction for more years than i'd like to admit to...It's shameful. It was/has been a constant revolving door of hell. I'd get clean, start feeling well...then lapse. over and over and over and over. Then I got addicted to Subs.. They are worse. Until about a month and a half ago, I also was on Lithium 3x a day, mood stabilizers, anti depressants, sleeping pills, and 3mg of benzos daily, for anxiety. I have spent years as a walking shell of emptiness, constantly trying to run from sickness.

Several months ago, I started to wean myself from subs....My intent was to get my body and mind prepared to flood. I finally reached the point of REALLY wanting to be free of addiction, free from mental illness, and be reborn. Everything was on schedule, until out of nowhere my Husband objects to it, refuses to have anything to do with it. Objecting so sternly, that he's threatened to leave if I follow through. It pains me because I don't think he understands where I am, how ill I am, and how desperately I want to squash all of my illnesses and addictions.

To attempt compromise, I rode out WD the hard way. When I started to feel somewhat functional, we left town for 2 weeks. I went to see the ocean for the first time. It cleansed me. I have felt completely changed by the power of the great waters. I came back a different person, free of all Psychiatric meds, except benzos and free of opiates.

 I vowed to not wash the sea water out of my hair or brush it until I get back to a warm coast permanently. It's starting to dread like crazy. A Jamaican woman once told me years ago that one must dread in their heart, before dreading on the head. I never quite understood what she meant, until now. Through medicinal use of Earth's gifts, I've managed to stay on the righteous path.....

UNTIL NOW. Today I am clean 30 days. Though, I'm without the medicine that I've been using to keep me focused and on the straight and narrow. Triggers are at every turn for me. I'm scared to death that I'm going to end up caving in and lapse today. This isn't what I want. In fact, the mere thought of it makes me feel gross, dirty, and sick inside.  For reasons that I do not understand, WD symptoms that I haven't felt in weeks are in full force today....like being dragged down by the stone.

 For some, it's easy to walk out of the revolving door forever. For me, I'm still waiting to see if I'm going to make it out alive. Yesterday, I felt on top of the World and free. I boasted about it. I was feeling grateful, at peace with myself and content. Today, I've done a 180. The needle apparently still has it's hooks in me. It makes me cry. I've been doing so well....it really is a one minute at a time, one day at a time battle. One that I want to be over. I'm tired of fighting. It's taken everything from me, including myself.....

I'm hoping and praying for a miracle.....or a change of opinion/better understanding on the matter from my Husband....To sum up, as a person who has quit and got sucked back in more times than can be counted, it's different for everyone. Some are lucky and can escape the grip. For those, like myself, it's hard to say if the cravings ever really completely leave. Mine have not.....However, these words are coming from a woman who is sick as hell and has a Husband that is forbidding me to get the treatment I desire and need. Which changes everything.....

[lalababa]

asaFLOWERahi,

So sorry about your husband and him not being supportive.. has he researched it at all?  Yes, it can be dangerous but so is all the other shit you have put in your body.  I wish he were more supportive.  I am glad that you have kicked them on your own but after a month off subs Iboga could be even more beneficial than it would have been a month ago.
 Good Luck and much love,
lala

[BlueTiger]

Hi Eversee,

Your story sounds not too strange round these parts.  Your posts here opens up the door to a world filled with people just like you and me.  So my advice is to keep connecting with people as much as you are able.  You may just find the support you are in need of.  It's a bummer that your partner in crime is not receiving the info well about your needs.  Give that time, and maybe there is a chance of the pendulum swinging back again.  Maybe you both need to talk to someone. 

The struggle of addiction is complex, multi-faceted, not well understood, and just a down right bitch.  Opiates were the top of the ceiling for me, after years of abusing other substances. 

The fact of the matter is that if you just read a few logs here, and find the right support for you, you will hopefully start to grasp at that raft of hope with both hands.  There is dry land if you seek it. 

Your hubby not being on board sounds like a major obstacle.  I am also in a relationship, and mine almost dissolved due to my addiction and it's consequences (all post flooding).  We are better now.  The drama does not stop it seems (humans feed on it)....you just learn to manage the chaos enough to love the moment as often as you can.  Relationships that contain one addict is bound to have some bumps in the road larger than usual. 

I had to really wake myself up and take a look inside to see if I wanted to choose this life of impending death....or to fight for the ride of my life.  Priority setting allowed me to really stick to this one and only chance for restoration.  I decided that I had a choice to live or die.  Temptation is not going anywhere, which sucks, but I can think, see, and process things differently.  Some leading research theorizes that Ibogaine alters the way our opiate receptors conduct chemistry.  The Iboga was just the beginning, everything else after that is what you decide to do, and be.  So setting priorities should help you too.

Maybe that means making as much peace as can be with those that matter?
Maybe it's repairing the brain damage you have done with a myriad of tools for optimal success? 
And/Or maybe it's saving your marriage?
Maybe it's all of these things or none, but
In the end, it will only be whether or not you did it for you.  Post opiates is a decently long period of heavy cleansing, and your days will be extremely erratic for a few months.  This was the case for me post Iboga.  You quitting opiates without Iboga and then relapsing 30 days later suggests to me that you need to explore Iboga further, for it is simply the best option that we know of for opiate addiction interruption. 

Maybe you and your husband at some point would benefit from a coaching call with someone who has walked the walk.  I have talked to many concerned family members of addicts who are considering Iboga therapy. 

Keep reaching out....you are in a good place here.

Kindly,

Blue

[kbud]

flower:

I just want to say I know the battle well. I am 1 yr off that sticky substance sub. My heart goes out to you. I had to find a way to love myself enough to treat myself as I do others. It's not easy when your beating yourself up. I hope that you can find a way to love and support yourself through this, with or without your husbands support. (I would be microdosing some RB) In the mean time I and many others here are behind you, I hope you are still getting one foot in front of the other. some days that's absolutely enough.   peace!