Author Topic: My entry into the Cerberus Extract competition.  (Read 2841 times)

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Offline crazylife

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My entry into the Cerberus Extract competition.
« on: February 04, 2011, 03:12:12 AM »
I dont feel like i should be entering this - which is one of the reasons why im in so need of the healing power of Iboga!
Ive never felt worthy of anything through my life. (No self pity from me, just observations!).
After 3 years of healing from childhood trauma, im only just realising what it must be like to be a 'normal' person!
After my breakdown 4 years ago i lost my house,car and everything that was part of my act to look normal! Everything id ever worked for.  At no point was i ever aware that i was acting, or that id had such a horrendous childhood from the age of birth to 7.
Around 6 months ago i was drawn to Iboga, and i knew it would be something i would need towards the end of my healing - when i could cope with whatever came up.

The time is coming, and i know it will be life-changing. I know i have so much i will become aware of - in my relationships, in how i act, and in even how i walk. I saw the thread on posture yesterday, and i really do walk like a monkey! When i served in the forces i was mocked about how i walked. People used to make monkey noises as i walked by. I couldnt walk up-right, as i had so much repressed fear and trauma inside me i couldnt handle the slightest bit of eye contact. I guess they didnt know why i walked that way, but neither did i. But then people often dont need a reason to bully someone, just an opportunity.

The IBOGA will give me a chance at finally being on a fair playing field with every other adult human being. Rather than being a screwed up, traumatised baby/child inside an large male body. I will be able to play the 'game of life' for the first time ever.
I often fantasize about the time when i can walk past someone in the street with my head held high, that for me will be ecstacy!
I know IBOGA will help me so much. Even before i have took it, i feel like my mind knows what it will do. Already my mind has started revealing things to me i didnt think it would. My past has no-where to hide now, and i thank IBOGA for this.   8)

Hope i can enter this. I have bought some HCL (basically spent any spare money ill have for years lol) and i know the root bark is a different experience again.

http://cerberusextract.com/  - Thanks for the competition.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2011, 03:15:18 AM by crazylife »

Offline Calaquendi

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Re: My entry into the Cerberus Extract competition.
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2011, 01:21:55 PM »
Nice post, crazylife! Good luck you friend  :)
" I am you and what I see is me..."