Author Topic: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings  (Read 26426 times)

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Offline ready2stop

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Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« on: August 03, 2012, 11:12:09 AM »
In my opinion, it takes a special kind of "freak" to want to be involved on this kind of site and with Eboka...  and that's a COMPLIMENT!  I'm happy to have found such a wonderful site, meeting you all, and hope to learn much.  I'm very new to the concept of Eboka and plan on having my first flood at the end of the month to get rid of a nasty dependence/addiction (really don't know which) to suboxone.  Learned a lot being here over the last week and am glad so many veterans are here spreading the word and teaching us newbies about the plant that seems to change many lives. 

My story - been a pothead most of my younger life, with a bunch of alcohol thrown in there.  Then after graduate school, had to stop the pot due to random piss tests (thanks Nancy... NOT!!), so I was basically just drinking socially a couple times a week for 5 years.   Then I got a serious pain in the neck and it was discovered I had two herniated discs.  I was given percocet and/or hydrocodone and found my new buzz.  Loved it so much, I kept doing it for about 8 - 9 years.  I hardly ever took more than the doctor prescribed (2-3 hydros a day, everyday) and was perfectly content.   Then the drug seemed to turn on me with lots of negative side-effects (physically & mentally), so I tried to quit and couldn't make it through the withdrawals.  Then I went to a psychiatrist to help me get off of the hydros and he put me on a drug that was much, much stronger and worse in the long-run: Suboxone - evil motherfucker.   I was on it for about 4.5 years, until about 2 weeks ago - at which time I went onto morphine in preparation for Ibogaine tx at the end of the month.      Anyway, subox was great for about a year or two (except for the not being able to shit for days on end and irritability) and then it turned on me just like the hydros - major mood swings, headaches, zero libido while also becoming a 2 pump chump with the wife (helluva combo there), free floating anxiety, continued irritability, sweating after each dose, not sleeping well, and simply knowing that this drug is killing me.  I was taking 1/8 of the prescribed amount by my doctor and it was still way too much.  I was getting "high" every time I dosed, while also getting rid of some of the withdrawals.  However, during the last couple years on Suboxone and Hydrocodone - it was like I was living in a perpetual state of withdrawals, it never stopped - several symptoms on a daily basis.  So I started to plan the whole taper thing and saw the horror stories all over the net of PAWS for months on end and wondered if it was necessary to suffer for months on end.  I found Iboga, then a professional provider, will get my flood at the end of month, and hopefully live an opiate free life for the rest of my life.    Sorry so long, but hey...  there ya go in a nutshell.   Seems to be similar to thousands of others out there.

Happy to be here!   :)
« Last Edit: August 04, 2012, 02:30:55 PM by ready2stop »

Offline ready2stop

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2012, 03:59:30 PM »
delete
« Last Edit: August 04, 2012, 02:30:21 PM by ready2stop »

Offline lightswitchedon

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2012, 02:22:34 PM »
Happy you're here! :)

If I can do this thing so can you.  I haven't had an opiate in over a month, but am on Zoloft and use benzos sparingly (for work and sleep) and am in an alright place.  It keeps getting a little better.  I know deep down I'll be off of all the shit....it is just a matter of time.

ready2stop....how fitting.  I was ready for years, but didn't know how.  Then the doc's said Suboxone was this miracle drug; hogwash.  Maybe for detox and that's about it.

Good Luck Man.

Offline ready2stop

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2012, 02:34:43 PM »
Happy you're here! :)

If I can do this thing so can you.  I haven't had an opiate in over a month, but am on Zoloft and use benzos sparingly (for work and sleep) and am in an alright place.  It keeps getting a little better.  I know deep down I'll be off of all the shit....it is just a matter of time.

ready2stop....how fitting.  I was ready for years, but didn't know how.  Then the doc's said Suboxone was this miracle drug; hogwash.  Maybe for detox and that's about it.

Good Luck Man.

Glad to hear you've been off suboxone for a month...  very cool!      So I got a question for you or anyone else on here - how long should one stay away from work after a full flood??    I have an extremely stressful job - like other peoples' lives are in my hands. Currently I've got 10 days off after the flood, but wondering if anyone thinks I need to take longer.  Thanks!

Offline lightswitchedon

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2012, 02:53:07 PM »
Glad to hear you've been off suboxone for a month...  very cool!      So I got a question for you or anyone else on here - how long should one stay away from work after a full flood??    I have an extremely stressful job - like other peoples' lives are in my hands. Currently I've got 10 days off after the flood, but wondering if anyone thinks I need to take longer.  Thanks!

Off subs for over 2 months actually (poppy pods for a month).  My job is as stressful as they come in the office environment of a past paced auto OEM who is selling cars like hot cakes (are hot cakes even selling?, LOL)

Your flood should be more of a success than mine as you learned from my lessons.  I had 14 days off and went back.  You may need some benzos if you can be responsible with them.  You can get a script if you explain your situation.  I know I needed them, and still use them sparingly for slight RLS, anxiety (bad at work) and insomnia.  Coming off sub after 3-1/2 yrs = no joke (your is 4 right?)

Offline ready2stop

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2012, 03:41:37 PM »
Glad to hear you've been off suboxone for a month...  very cool!      So I got a question for you or anyone else on here - how long should one stay away from work after a full flood??    I have an extremely stressful job - like other peoples' lives are in my hands. Currently I've got 10 days off after the flood, but wondering if anyone thinks I need to take longer.  Thanks!

Off subs for over 2 months actually (poppy pods for a month).  My job is as stressful as they come in the office environment of a past paced auto OEM who is selling cars like hot cakes (are hot cakes even selling?, LOL)

Your flood should be more of a success than mine as you learned from my lessons.  I had 14 days off and went back.  You may need some benzos if you can be responsible with them.  You can get a script if you explain your situation.  I know I needed them, and still use them sparingly for slight RLS, anxiety (bad at work) and insomnia.  Coming off sub after 3-1/2 yrs = no joke (your is 4 right?)

Even better, 2 months off sub - sweet!   

Thanks for the response Light.    Yeah, I've been on them for about 4 years - 4mg a day, everyday.  I have plenty of benzos on hand, as I rarely ever took them, but still got a refill after refill when I thought I had an anxiety problem.  However, I'm 99.9% sure the anxiety was a negative side-effect of the sub, especially since I haven't been anxious at all since the first few days I stopped taking Sub.  I never got any sort of high off benzos or valium or anything of the like...  just bring me down.  I never understood how people could get hooked on shit that brought you down, but I guess people can get hooked on anything that becomes a HABIT.   I was hooked on ambien too, along with Sub...  took Ambien for about 10 years.   I stopped subs/ambien on 7/18 for morphine/valium...  flood on 8/25.   Can't wait!!!    Hope all is well your way brother.

Offline Calaquendi

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2012, 03:01:14 AM »
Hello and welcome aboard ready2stop! Pull up a log and warm your toes by the fire, we look forward to learning more about you and sharing with each other...don't like to be so brief but I have slacked a lot lately and am catching up welcoming our new friends. Glad you are here friend, and if you stick around and engage I think you will enjoy it here - hope to see you around, again very good to have you! Cal
" I am you and what I see is me..."

Offline GratefulDad

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #7 on: August 16, 2012, 05:16:42 PM »
You sound like you have done your research, you sound like you are really ready to be done, and I am sure if you stick to your guns, and be ready for some possible unpleasantness, that within a few weeks you can be done with that crap and on your way to feeling much better and free. 

It's a difficult road, even with the iboga, but it is so worth it.  A lot of people come to iboga looking for a miracle, and expecting to go through a few day trip and come out clean and feeling great.  While that can happen, more likely than not you'll get a huge reduction on your acute withdrawal, a good discount on your PAWS, and will recover much faster than you would without the iboga. 

So stick around, we wish you well on your journey, and just know we are here to help with any questions or even just to just lend an ear if/when you hit any rough patches.  Our community has a fairly close knit group, compared to the iboga community as a whole, so we tend to be a bit more helpful than some of the other places you may come across.  But that, by no means, means you should only do your research here.  So, with that said, welcome to Eboka, and I hope you find some comfort in our little family here. 

Best wishes!
GratefulDad

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Offline ready2stop

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #8 on: August 17, 2012, 08:23:24 PM »
Thank you very much Cal and G-Dad for the warm welcome.  I'm now 7 days and 16 hours from my flood.  Can't wait!!!      I'm doing my 2nd "clean out" tomorrow of my colon/intesttines with castor oil/magnesium citrate in preparation.  Other than that, I'm not drinking any alcohol or taking any substances (other than morphine to ward off withdrawals).  If anyone has any other recommendations for the next 7 days prior to my flood, I sure would appreciate it.  I'm really glad to be here and I'll definitely post how my "treatment" went after I get back from Central America.   :)

Offline lightswitchedon

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2012, 11:22:31 PM »
Hey ready2stop,

I hope all goes well with your flood and I am looking forward to hearing about it...hopefully you'll follow through and post your experience. 

So although I have been off of the subs for almost 3 months (opiates almost 2), I am/was struggling and ended up abusing benzos quite badly.  I stopped cold turkey last Friday and started to feel the ass kicking Wednesday morning.  I still consider myself 7 days clean as I haven't put any substances in and let me tell you...it feels damn good.  I am still experiencing a combination of mild PAWS & mild benzo w/d.  I have had a few beautiful moments coming back into "reality" if you will.  I have not had 7 days clean since 2005.  I definitely didn't consider suboxone clean (for myself) and looking back on it I am beginning to see that it is actually some hardcore shit.  The fact that I rolled over from a high dose of methadone and was somewhat comfortable on it in 4-5 days says it all.

A friend of mine who is still on 8mg of sub told me he'd give anything to be in my shoes.  Although it felt good to hear that, I feel his pain.  He was put on 16mg sub initially from a 20-25 per day norco habit.  If you think about that it is rather ridiculous.  Also, the treatment center that he went to is nationally renowned and they recently shut their sub program down without saying why and he is now forced to go to some high cost shady clinic where he has to pee in a cup every week.  Mine was all office based and I only had to see my doc 4 times a year paying $120 per visit.  Suboxone is out to replace methadone and unfortunately this means adopting some similarities to methadone clincis; of course most done clinics do offer sub maintenance, pretty soon they just won't offer methadone anymore. 

Offline ready2stop

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #10 on: August 24, 2012, 08:38:57 PM »
Flood tomorrow morning at 8:00am.  Can't wait!!!!!     Ibeginagain rocks...  these guys/gals are wonderful.   I'll post more in about 48 hours.  Wish me luck!    ;D

Offline lightswitchedon

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #11 on: August 25, 2012, 12:34:09 AM »
Good luck and no matter what happens you can get and stay clean, no doubt.  I had to fight for it but am now on the other side to the extent that if I use it would be making a bad decision rather than the effect of any withdrawal.  I never even imagined getting to this point....couldn't even fathom after 7 years of hell.  Two weeks strong and feelin' good.  Came off of everything including the SSRI I had started and now I realize that I absolutely do not need to be medicated.

I hope you come out the other side feeling good and are able to enjoy the beautiful Costa Rica scenery.  If you don't feel so great just give it time.  As much as I used to hate hearing this, it's the truth....time is the best healer.

POSTIVE VIBES YOUR WAY 8)

Offline Marton

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #12 on: August 25, 2012, 10:47:41 AM »
Good luck in your journey, ready2stop.
Take care!

Offline ready2stop

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #13 on: August 25, 2012, 08:09:24 PM »
Can't believe it 30 hours after my last dose of morphine and I've had no withdrawals.  This provider is pretty darn respectable and they say I really shouldn't do the ibogaine until in withdrawal.   Unbelievable... come all this way and no withdrawals after 4.5 years of suboxone and then 5 weeks of about 60 mg of morphine a day....  maybe tomorrow I'll get withdrawals.  Weird and frustrating.  :(

Offline GratefulDad

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Re: Good Day to all fellow freakazoid beings
« Reply #14 on: August 25, 2012, 08:40:15 PM »
Morphine can take a minute to wear off.  I wouldn't expect full withdrawal until 36+ hours after your last dose.  Although, you may still just have some of the sub still hangin around in there.  If you don't start getting bad withdrawal soon, maybe you'll luck out and just have it easy..
GratefulDad

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