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Messages - zingdoozer

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1
General Discussion / Do I really need a flood dose for a 'reset'?
« on: May 12, 2017, 03:10:44 AM »
Do I really need a flood dose for a 'reset'?

I'm planning on 2g TA (18mg/kg) but got solid lessons with 1g TA last time around.

But is there a difference between solid lessons and a reset or do they merge into one another as I did get the 3-4 month nor Ibogaine mood surge and drive to action insights.

The reason I ask is because a prior stronger flood level dose (can't remember how much) had me completely knocked out and kinda cheated me out of those crucial first two hours of deep insights because I was so far out of it.

2
General Discussion / Re: Ibogaine nausea solution
« on: May 12, 2017, 02:39:23 AM »
I always purge.
That doesn't sort the nausea out.

3
General Discussion / Ibogaine nausea solution
« on: May 11, 2017, 08:49:47 AM »
Hi,
I was wondering if people had any consistent solutions for the nausea on Ibogaine.
I know all day fasting, and not moving my head helps.
Ondansetron and metoclopramide are useful but prolong qtc and I wonder if their processed nature would kill some of the Iboga dream and lessons.

4
Diet & Recipes / Re: Kangen Water
« on: October 28, 2016, 04:49:28 PM »
There are alternatives to Kangen. They are super expensive because of their marketing.

Jupiter is a great cheap alternative ioniser that's 1/3rd the price and does the same job.

5
Eboka Journals / Re: Microdose journey
« on: December 18, 2015, 02:04:47 PM »
Hi, ddraig,
Remember your posts from when I first did iboga and always found you calm, measured and wise.

Apologies for the delay. Had to root around my inbox to find out how much.

6 x 300 mg root bark capsules so about 1.8g or root bark.

Not so sure if I want to do anymore floods if I get almost the same benefit with a microdose even the 3-4 month noribogaine high.

6
Eboka Journals / Microdose journey
« on: December 02, 2015, 06:52:56 PM »
First off, I do understand that this is not in the microdose section of the forum, however felt it was more appropriately placed here.

I have done several iboga journeys and with all the spiritual practice I have done, I find I can connect almost as solidly with Papa Iboga on a microdose as on a full on flood.

I've recently settled on a regular microdosing regime, probably once every 3-4 months. Knock on effects are the solid sense of self and invulnerability and Strength that come from the Iboga. And the usual improvement in almost all areas of my life.

Here goes:
6 capsules on an empty stomach on a Saturday morning.

This was just after I had come back from a trip to Amsterdam with friends. I had the post Amsterdam, what the feck did I just do, am I really This person reality hit me like a ten ton truck.

So I was feeling pretty down getting into the dream.

Re: intent, I was thinking of getting a long term partner, setting up a business, upping my income and wanted help and advice with that too.

I did the microdose the day after getting back. And whilst it was slightly more difficult to connect with the spirit at times (as opposed to the solid flood connection), and I confused his voice with mine.

However I've spoken to Papa enough times to know when its him. That solid, stern, authoritarian, wise, cut and dry voice.

I asked Papa to show me the future, and in his inimitable way he showed me the two futures in front of me.

One where I was single, working for a month or two, and traveling or living for a month or two in flash apartments in a party city. Looking muscular with bodyweight exercises and looking the shyt and getting laid with supercute women OR clean living off the drugs and sex and the white picket fences, happy well adjusted children, a great partner and being a role model to them all.

There are two groups and they are different and never the twain shall meet. And I only realise this now - the successful, family men are doing the shyt I'm doing unless they're douchebags or losers or artists doing their thing. If I wanted money, the successful business, financial freedom, the great girl, the family, I couldnt go around doing my everyday weed, alcohol, travel, rolling stone single man life. And again realising that there were no successful family men who were leading anything close to the life I was living.
And it was with a level of peace that I decided, I have had enough of this hedonistic life, and that whilst it's been great, I do have a different life I ought to get to.

Here were the questions I asked Papa. Sometimes I went off on one writing my own thoughts, but had to re-connect and make sure I heard Papa's voice. And as anyone who has met Papa knows, you can hear his cut and dry authoritarian voice in the answers. :)

How do I find the right relationship
Get off the laptop and out of the house. To meet women go out there to the places where the women you want will be.

How do I stay fit?
Eat clean and healthy. Everything will fall into place after that.
Be hard with yourself if you don't.

How do I achieve my goals?
Steady. A little bit everyday.

What do the futures hold for me?
One where you're a single guy, dressed well, living in a party European city, having a couple of relationships every year or two.
Or another with the white picket fences family in a nice house in the suburbs. You have a choice. Because there is no way you can do both. You can't repeat many of the things you just did in Amsterdam.
Choose. Wisely. Now.

How do I make money?
To decide that I really want money. And not vacillate about whether or not I do.

How do I stay happy without the weed?
Your mood has actually improved the times you've stopped, and once the first sign of shyt hits, you run.

My moods been pretty good the times I've been clean. 

How do I get a habit of finishing?
Get a place on the wall for star charts and find out how they work.

How do I manage to stay in the right group?
Stay off risky activities like drugs or toxins that are designed to fuck you up.

How do I get rid of my tax issues?
Little bit everyday. Once the cleanliness sets in, Everything will fall into place.

How do I manage my anxiety?
You have no anxiety apart from creating dramas through self flagellation.

How do I manage disapproval of others?
You manage disapproval of yourself.

What about career?
Keep doing what you were doing. You'll find it all fall into place.

Wheres the next place to get?
XXXX. It''s a place I've always liked. It's overlooking the river.

How do I manage my relationship avoidance?

Hahaha, shame that i stopped at that crucial juncture as I would have loved to have Papa's take on that. But hey ho. :)

And I guess post microdose, things have been great. My moods picked up. I've been off the weed. Eating organic non processed food for the most part. Exercising. Also on the noPMO scene (no porn, masturbation or orgasms).

And looking ahead to setting things up for a different life. And huge huge thanks to Papa Iboga, as though looking back reading this they seem like simple realisations, but then again, Papa's insights are always cut and dry simple realisations.

Looking forward to the next few decades - they look good.

7
I would be grateful for a discussion on why this post was deleted
http://eboka.info/index.php?topic=2584.0

It's a clear and concise summary of very good reasons why I won't have Ibogaine again.

I do think it was the Ibogaine in the person who actually made the decision.

Normal everyday people would welcome all parts of a discussion especially if it was not meant to cause harm or done in a decent, even helpful and insightful (as I have had ibogaine a fair few times all to fairly positive effects, life changing definitely).

Sure it does go with the cut and dry, no room for discussion vibe of the Iboga entity that often permeates this forum. But again, I'm welcoming discussion.

8
General Discussion / Why I will never have Ibogaine again.
« on: May 24, 2014, 03:27:45 PM »
I've had Iboga and it has been one of the most transformational experiences of my life. Became healthier, had more faith in myself pulling stuff off, making 'my' dreams come true, learn a gazillion lessons like love, transformation, Effort, energy, making time count, etc etc.

But at the end of the day I came to a pretty shocking realisation - that manifestation list I dreamt up post Iboga wasn't My manifestation list, but rather Papa Iboga's. And the ideas that I had were consistent with a spirit taking over my body.

The ego dissolution. The feeling that zingdoozer did not exist. And there was no real point in life, but to live with bliss and make our dreams come true. And that the Iboga would help with that, as long as we ate right, and kept going back to him every 3-4 months.

I felt that I had been taken over by the Iboga spirit (I guess I'm sensitive to spirit and entity energies), and that he (Papa) was taking care of my dreams far far better than Zing was. So let him take over, zing will have a good time anyways.

But more shadow work, more subconscious work, getting in touch with the Real me shows me that my manifestation list was not what the authentic me wanted. But rather, what Iboga wanted to do when he was in my body. (if any of you know about muscle testing, then give it a go. Have a look at your post Iboga manifestation/dream list, and test for This is My manifestation list, or this is Papa Iboga's manifestation list).

And even looking at other's on here with fairly typical experiences. People come to Iboga for help, Iboga helps and transforms, and then makes you have intimations of mortality and worry about how short life is, and then makes you paranoid or worried about creating a list of things to 'achieve' and then an overly zealous focus on supplements, or yoga, meditation to get into that 'achieve, rah, rah, rah, achieve, achieve at all costs' mentality that sometimes causes more problems than it might have cured in the first place.

So yeah, very very grateful for lessons learnt. But time to clear my body of foreign entities like iboga, cannabis, nicotine and get closer and closer to the authentic me, and getting what I want, rather than what a (ostensibly helpful) foreign entity wants.

9
General Discussion / Re: Low dose aya without shaman
« on: October 07, 2013, 03:36:50 PM »
I did Aya the first few times on my own at home. Then in Peru with the Shamans, and had pretty much the same lessons. Never done it since I got back from Peru.

I used the mimosa hostilis, and though I knew it was darker, and had more tannins, it was the most reliable in terms of getting what you were looking for. The Chacruna and Psychotria viridis (will use this the next time if I do do it) were too unreliable with their yields.

They were all beautiful experiences, but tended to go on for long i.e. 3-4 hours and I had marked anxiety on a lot of them. Didn't detract from the lesson. i had the closed eye visuals, however I tend to ignore the visuals as for me its a choice between visuals or lessons, and I much prefer the lessons.

I did a shedload of protection rituals before doing it though. Lesser banishing ritual of pentagram, rose cross, middle pillar, and some energy work with yoga and chi kung sets.

A sage or any other smudge wouldn't go amiss to cleanse the area too, if you aren't too au fait with protection rituals. I'd suggest learning the LBRP at the very least to clean your space up.

Best of luck. Keep a report of how it goes. I still go back to get lessons from my first one (shame I didnt make a report for the latter ones, but pretty much the same love love love love love, love is acceptance, everything and everyone is beautiful, sort your shit out and live the dream lessons).

Godspeed.

10
Cheers Axl.

Here's a great thread from bb.com re: nutritional basics

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=156380183

11
Eboka Journals / Re: Flooded with wisdom
« on: September 11, 2013, 03:31:46 PM »
Progress continues. Like Tony Robbins say's another word for happiness is progress, and I've been feeling great working on stuff.

Three top priorities
Taxes - met accountant, and gave him details of my old company accountant (who said he filed returns but there's no proof of them anywhere).
Also made an action plan of specific things to do to get my personal taxes sorted. Next step to action the action plan.

CPD - I'm plugging away at this. Slow and steady, and getting to my goal. Seems easily doable and I'll get there soon enough.

Relationship and social avoidance. I was still not going out on weekends, and not meeting people. So I had some hypnotherapy with a very good energy healer. He found out that there were still energetic links between me and this girl I was hung up over. They were pretty strong and over lifetimes, and this was concerning. He said he couldnt break it, but could reroute it. He did so anddd... Success! I went out friday night, some player boys I saw were impressed with my game and I might have some wings, and went out Saturday night to a different city to meet some friends, and consistently spoke to some pretty fecking hot girls. Stayed away from women who I thought were hot, but low quality (I hate that term), and went for beautiful women who had something going for them. But I still didnt have the balls to go for the women who were beautiful, hot, had their shit together AND made me go weak in my knees. Y'know the Gwyneth Paltrow, Zooey Deschanel, Cameron Diaz kinda girl that makes you go ahhh. These are the girls I should be going for. Had enough of the skanky one night stand bunch. No more crazy search for notches on bedpost. A couple of high quality (hate that term too) girls I can invite into my adventure, and see a couple of times a week. Whilst I keep an eye out for a longer term girl.
Need to get a social circle set up too. So have to get out of the house and meet new people.
But phew, finally finally finally - I get out of the house and get social. That was a whole couple of years of a brain freeze social circle wise.

In other news.
I continue to stay off the weed. I think habits change based on the emotional arguments we give ourselves. People make their decisions based on the information presented to them, and if you change the information, then their decisions and actions change. Once I realised that the weed was an escape from reality, and a timesink or a hole I was pissing my life away into all for temporary feel good feelings, and that it was a massive massive barrier between me and my goals - it was really really easy to stop. I wish I knew this years earlier. Was feeling really really anxious the first few days, but feeling fucking A now. Great levels of energy, and the anxiety I used to get with chronic weed smoking is almost gone. Just a tiny bit of eustress to get shit done.

I was not making my own food, and the iboga directed me to cook my own food, if I had growing my own food in future plans. But really really difficult for me to cook when I'm on my own. If I had a housemate, or a girlfriend, then it's guaranteed I cook everyday. But a tough tough ask on my own. So I now am getting organic vegan meals delivered home. 10 a week. Will continue my juicing for the other 2-3 meals a day. yeah, circa five meals a day, and here's why....

I've been doing Insanity, probably one of the most intense commercially sold cardio workouts. Been doing it everyday for the past 7 days (apart from the Sunday break) and it's been a revelation. Wanted to get down to a bodyfat of 8%. I was continuing to drop weight, but realised my weight is low enough, and if I drop more I would start losing lean muscle too.
So I thought better get some muscle hypertrophy in with some progressive weight training.
So am eating like all get out. Was eating some processed stuff like the flour on my veggie pastries, and afternoon bread. But will get off it now I'm all clean and vegan (apart from fish). So should only be putting the right kind of weight on. Or even if I stay stable, whilst the Insanity workouts strip the fat off. Just petrified of losing lean muscle mass, so cue the weight training, protein supplements to keep it on.
It's supposedly not doable, losing fat and gaining muscle at the same time. As they are both completely different physiologic, hormonal and biological states. And one requires a caloric deficit and the other a caloric surplus. But fingers cross that the aerobic/cardio/fat burning zone work I'm doing melts the fat.
My bodyfat is now 13%, and I only need to lose 5% more (even if it is that last stubborn bit of 5%).
But yeah, Insanity to keep the bodyfat dripping off, weight training to keep the lean muscle mass on or increase it, clean organic vegan food so my body puts the right kind of weight on. And fingers crossed I'll have the body of my dreams in 60 days.

Really happy with my commitment, consistency and discipline. I wouldn't have previously been so confident of doing it, so this is a great change I should pat myself on the back for. It is a really really fun workout, even if I am bushed at the end of it. But the subsequent boost in mood is GREAT. Great energy all through the day too.

Also working through Tony Robbins Personal Power II 25 day CD program, and I'm on day 3. I have to work through some homework actions at the end of it, which are a pain to do, and they are doing the things I would have otherwise avoided or procrastinated with - but feel absolutely great after completing it.
The aim really is to build my follow through and taking action muscles. And if it does what it says on the tin, my follow through muscles (personal power) would be a lot lot stronger.

Also doing a no morning internet 30 DC. So no morning internet. Used the net for a couple of minutes the first day, then whatsapp for 30 seconds the next, and used it after 9 AM, and used viber (with good reasons that I had told myself) - but even if overall it was probably less than five minutes over the last week, Its cheating. The goal isnt so much no morning internet, but to build my self discipline muscles.

Also set up a domestic cleaner coming in every couple of weeks. So that's great.

Got a new trumpet teacher, and plugging away at practice (not as often as I'd like).

Todays Personal Power jobs are eliminating stuff from the house (everything I own used to fit into a suitcase, but now would probably fit into two (apart from a big fuck off 60 inch TV) suitcases, and have to get rid of a lot of stuff and redundant paperwork.
Making a laundry pile (after chucking out clothes that do not look shit hot. Everything has to scream style or class or at least loud and proud, lol) which I usually do every 2-3 weeks.
The house cleaner arrangement was the other job.
Didn't action the social circle bit today, as told myself I wanted to sort other issues out. But social circle and getting a couple of good peeps to hang with is a priority. Just have so many things Im doing in the evenings.

Also am massively cutting down my internet too, as I see it as a form of self harm. Just like the weed, it comes in the way of living my goals and the dream. Just lost in a silly dopamine chase for tiny meaningless pointless pleasures like facebook, or wikipedia. So set myself half an hour a day on all my most visited sites. Life's gotten a whole lot better with the morning internet fast, and now with evening internet limited to a half hour a day).

There's a lot that's happening - but ticking away one small bite at a time. Really really important for me to work on follow through, and completion.

None of this really matters. None of my goals might make me happy. The present moment is all that matters anywhich way, and its the reaching for more that drives more feel good dopamine into my current state.
We are parts of God born into human lives to create, and that's what I'm going to do. Choose the best possible reality for myself and go for it like the proverbial boss. If I get it good, if not, at least I tried.

Thanks for reading. It's been a beautiful beautiful journey since Papa came into my life, and I am really really grateful to his guidance.

12
Eboka Journals / Re: Flooded with wisdom
« on: September 03, 2013, 11:16:12 PM »
I stopped the weed, and I'm reminded how my non weed smoking years weren't as happy, and had me stressed over trivial stuff as opposed to the happy go lucky weed smoking years.
However, I now learn (thanks to Papa) that the weed gets in the way of me creating my dreams, and I lose myself in a false reality. Selling myself the dream of enlightenment and fulfilment sat in front of the laptop, stuck in my room, avoiding all the important stuff that needs doing while I piss precious time away.
So yeah, I've stopped the weed. Will stay off it for the next couple of months. The stress is a marker/pointer for me to what I need to prioritise.

My trumpet practice is back on track - I've booked myself for my grade 1 exams in December.
I bought an electric guitar, and am practising with Rocksmith on the PS3. Ive tried practising on my own, with online lessons (haven't gotten a tutor coming over yet) and nothing has worked. But making progress with this, and happy with improvements.
My harmonica practice is suffering. But instead of doing an hour a day working through a DVD of lessons at a time, I should just stick to 15 minute slots. Consistency better than extended periods is far better than irregular sessions.
Doing my music theory exams too in december.
I want to fall in love with music from a practical hands on point of view, and am pretty committed to making it happen.

I updated my manifestation list. Pleased with progress, but tweaked it. Still need to work on 1 month, 6 month and year long goal list.

Cooking also must get on track.
I'm also starting on a cardio program called Insanity for 60 days, that will guarantee me a six pack (i.e. it will get my body fat down to sub 10% (Im hoping to hit my 8% goal) which is in 8-11% BF levels needed to see a six pack). The magazines never tell you that - they always want to show you the easy way out, or supplements. No way anyone can get a six pack without having body fat in 8-11% levels.
The workout is an hour long 1000 calorie workout for 60 days, and I'm committed to working through it. Joined a gym on sunday (after a year) and already put on 4 pounds / 2 kilos of muscle. JOined the gym because I'll be losing weight like nobody's business and I wanted to minimise lean muscle loss.

Sort out backlog at work.

I find myself getting stressed over trivial shit, and notice Im ignoring the basics again. It's almost 4 am, and I'm typing this. I also skipped dinner. Three meals a day, and 6-8 hours sleep is a priority above almost everything else. This is the base of the pyramid on which to build everything else.
Papa Iboga's lesson not to get drawn into pettiness and trivialities is well heeded here.

Also working on my irritability, by telling myself I AM non confrontational. And this has been great. I get irritable a couple of times a month, probably for less than a few seconds at at time, but would like to cut this down massively.

Some stressors wrt money. Two weeks lost pay, holidays to three countries in a month, and upcoming expenses (Will be doing a date with destiny 5500 USD seminar in december. Plus a friend wants me to loan him dosh. And circa 2500 use for another course. The courses are okay, the lost pay (another two weeks) is more than the seminar's or the holidays cost. But again, since I get paid this much - I should be okay in a couple of weeks. I have to set some dosh aside circa 100k for buying some property too. I don't have access to any of this cash (which is a good thing) as it's in a different country. But yeah, I should be okay with dosh in the next couple of weeks. Until I spend it all again :). But at least it's on life changing courses, and well well worth the money, time and effort.   

I had asked the Iboga for help with three things. And these are the things currently stressing me out. The projects can wait for a week or two whilst I get this in order.

Relationship avoidance.
Filing my taxes and portfolio and professional paperwork i.e. housekeeping
Cannabis

I'll go over solutions in reverse order.

Cannabis I've stopped. Have to deal with real life and feel the emotions like anxiety, that drive me to get stuff done. Also have to learn to enjoy life without a drug.
My anxiety as I said has been increasing, and Im worrying about trivial shit, but will take care of sleep and three meals a day basics and get my housekeeping sorted.

I met an accountant today, and took the first step towards getting the uber complicated task of getting my uber complicated taxes sorted.

I'm working through online hours to get my portfolio work sorted. Need to prioritise it a wee bit more. Need to show 50 hours of CPD and I only have around 15 or so.

Relationship avoidance. Come the weekend, I think Ill go out friday and I stay in. I think Ill go out saturday and I stay in. I've told myself not to build the weekend up, and meet women from a social circle, but have been avoiding going out to meet people.
There was a raw fest this weekend where I could have met people, a friend of mine was having a boxing fight and I could have travelled across to see it. I realise that setting up a social circle needs work, but my avoidance is crippling me here. Usually I can sort shit out with a sheer force of will - but been finding it really difficult with this one.
Sure, Im over my ex. Finally AND completely. And whilst I felt massive levels of guilt at breaking hearts, I've come to realise I gave them all incredible amounts of joy, was told by pretty much all of them I was the best thing to have happened to them, treated them like gold and left them better than I found them. So am positive I'll give the next girl(s) a beautiful experience.
But this social circle avoidance, relationship avoidance continues unabated despite me sorting out what I thought were my most pressing issues.
I've had hypnotherapy to deal with it, to little effect. But going for one session tomorrow with someone I know is really good, and hoping to get this sorted. if this doesn't work, I'll go for some therapy. Sure, I should just pull my finger out and get out of the house, but like I said sheer force of will hasn't worked for this. But should at least manifest a way out, instead of this 'what the fuck do I have to get this sorted' headless chicken running around.
But am committed to getting this part of my life sorted. Draw a peaceful, happy, hot woman into my life, blow her mind, and make babies, and do the homeschooling, grow food thingie.

Projects can wait for a couple of weeks as I get my paperwork sorted.

I've started keeping a diary, and a task list and working towards getting more organised as per Papa's advice. On a 30 day challenge to stay off morning internet, and it's working like a charm. Getting a lot done in the mornings i.e. yoga, rituals, trumpet practice etc. Good set up for a great day.







13
Eboka Journals / Re: Flooded with wisdom
« on: September 03, 2013, 10:30:25 PM »
Quick summary of lessons learnt with most recent flood
Relationship avoidance.
Procrastination with housekeeping like tax filing and paperwork. And cutting out the stress of unfinished  from my life.
Stopping cannabis. I was unsure about this, but now know it has to go. Might come back, but lets take it a month at a time, or even a day at a time.

Take a couple of months off the weed
Get rid of pettiness and the trivial issues I allow to control my neurochemicals and get worked up over.
Fill up data sheet for my portfolio, and get the appraisal done
Start doing the taxes
Get out of the house and meeting people
Start speaking to girls in the day at the supermarket, bus stop etc
Set up projects over next 6 months
Spend less time on laptop and internet
Get organised - organisation is the opposite of procrastination
Have a daily morning and evening schedule of an hour or so each
Start early so the spirit can help me along
Don't use irritability as a rapport building technique
Cook my own food

14
Cal, please can this idiot be blocked and deleted.

15
Eboka Journals / Re: Flooded with wisdom
« on: August 28, 2013, 06:03:13 PM »
My post Iboga flood realisations havent really been actioned.

I still continue to smoke the weed almost everyday. However didnt have any today, and looking to continue this for a couple of months at least. Even if I feel like shit (some other things happening in me life) and I would have loved a doob to work through today. But that's the lesson, life will probably get shitty over the next couple of months and I cant use weed to deal with it. I've always looked to avoid the harshness of reality with weed or hedonism - but have to look to sort out the housekeeping and get my life in order.

i had a look at my manifestation list from a year or so ago, and pleased to see how much of it has or is coming true. Must update it.

I must (vs should :) ) also make a list of goals i.e. 1, 6 month and year long goals.

Things in my life seemed to have come to a standstill.

I havent practised trumpet in a month or so, and that's hurting. My Grade 1 exams are in december.
I havent gotten in touch with any of my mentors/freelancers for the ebook, therapy centre, trumpet, or documentary.

I havent started cooking, and my place is now a mess as I need to do a post holiday clean.

There's a backlog at work, as I was away for a couple of weeks. And its piling up bigtime - rarely have too much of a backlog at work. But theres a lot of work coming in, and Ive had to push a lot of work through the system too. So loose ends need tying up.

I found out that I'm not really liked at work - probably more like tolerated. Maybe because I raised a stink about their shoddy work earlier. But Im used to being liked in every single job I've been in, and this is a strange feeling for me. Its made me decide to leave the job though, as I'd rather be liked and earn money than not be liked and earn the same moolah. Being liked is a big thing for me, maybe insecurity driven, but hey ho.

But anyways, liked or not, all I can do is my best, and I've been a damned hardworking, committed sumbitch.

I still havent gone out and sorted out my relationship avoidance. THought I met an amazing girl this weekend with friends, but didnt pull the trigger because common friends were around and now she's kinda distant. And I'm not sure what I did to cause this. This looked like an amazing amazing long term make babies with girl. Dont see too many of them too often.

Still not going out and meeting people.

Still not cooking.

Not having my three meals a day, or sleeping. I notice that whenever I have problems in life, its not actually the problems but the fact that Im not sleeping 8 hours a day or having three meals a day that fucks with my mood. Take care of the basics and the basics take care of me.

But anyways, will get back on track.

My mood's been a relatively sky high 9-10 on a scale of 1-10 till today. When it's probably a 4, lowest its been in a year. Back up to a 7/8 moro methinks.

But anyways - enough of the self pitying.

Back to track.

Sort housekeeping out - taxes, CPD (which I did an hour of, and have around 30 more to go), and get the house cleaned.

Half an hour a day of housekeeping.

Projects can take a backseat for next week until the housekeeping gets done. Get rid of negative space and replace it with positive space that I can create with. .

Three meals a day, and enough sleep. Get all electronics like laptop and phone off bed.

Start cooking my own food. And packing food for work, far healthier and probably tastier too.

Will get out of my temporary funk by changing my language, physiology and focus.

Haha, did a fist pump and went yeah, and feel a lot better. Will make a meal, and crash.

baby steps.





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