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Topics - zingdoozer

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1
General Discussion / Do I really need a flood dose for a 'reset'?
« on: May 12, 2017, 03:10:44 AM »
Do I really need a flood dose for a 'reset'?

I'm planning on 2g TA (18mg/kg) but got solid lessons with 1g TA last time around.

But is there a difference between solid lessons and a reset or do they merge into one another as I did get the 3-4 month nor Ibogaine mood surge and drive to action insights.

The reason I ask is because a prior stronger flood level dose (can't remember how much) had me completely knocked out and kinda cheated me out of those crucial first two hours of deep insights because I was so far out of it.

2
General Discussion / Ibogaine nausea solution
« on: May 11, 2017, 08:49:47 AM »
Hi,
I was wondering if people had any consistent solutions for the nausea on Ibogaine.
I know all day fasting, and not moving my head helps.
Ondansetron and metoclopramide are useful but prolong qtc and I wonder if their processed nature would kill some of the Iboga dream and lessons.

3
Eboka Journals / Microdose journey
« on: December 02, 2015, 06:52:56 PM »
First off, I do understand that this is not in the microdose section of the forum, however felt it was more appropriately placed here.

I have done several iboga journeys and with all the spiritual practice I have done, I find I can connect almost as solidly with Papa Iboga on a microdose as on a full on flood.

I've recently settled on a regular microdosing regime, probably once every 3-4 months. Knock on effects are the solid sense of self and invulnerability and Strength that come from the Iboga. And the usual improvement in almost all areas of my life.

Here goes:
6 capsules on an empty stomach on a Saturday morning.

This was just after I had come back from a trip to Amsterdam with friends. I had the post Amsterdam, what the feck did I just do, am I really This person reality hit me like a ten ton truck.

So I was feeling pretty down getting into the dream.

Re: intent, I was thinking of getting a long term partner, setting up a business, upping my income and wanted help and advice with that too.

I did the microdose the day after getting back. And whilst it was slightly more difficult to connect with the spirit at times (as opposed to the solid flood connection), and I confused his voice with mine.

However I've spoken to Papa enough times to know when its him. That solid, stern, authoritarian, wise, cut and dry voice.

I asked Papa to show me the future, and in his inimitable way he showed me the two futures in front of me.

One where I was single, working for a month or two, and traveling or living for a month or two in flash apartments in a party city. Looking muscular with bodyweight exercises and looking the shyt and getting laid with supercute women OR clean living off the drugs and sex and the white picket fences, happy well adjusted children, a great partner and being a role model to them all.

There are two groups and they are different and never the twain shall meet. And I only realise this now - the successful, family men are doing the shyt I'm doing unless they're douchebags or losers or artists doing their thing. If I wanted money, the successful business, financial freedom, the great girl, the family, I couldnt go around doing my everyday weed, alcohol, travel, rolling stone single man life. And again realising that there were no successful family men who were leading anything close to the life I was living.
And it was with a level of peace that I decided, I have had enough of this hedonistic life, and that whilst it's been great, I do have a different life I ought to get to.

Here were the questions I asked Papa. Sometimes I went off on one writing my own thoughts, but had to re-connect and make sure I heard Papa's voice. And as anyone who has met Papa knows, you can hear his cut and dry authoritarian voice in the answers. :)

How do I find the right relationship
Get off the laptop and out of the house. To meet women go out there to the places where the women you want will be.

How do I stay fit?
Eat clean and healthy. Everything will fall into place after that.
Be hard with yourself if you don't.

How do I achieve my goals?
Steady. A little bit everyday.

What do the futures hold for me?
One where you're a single guy, dressed well, living in a party European city, having a couple of relationships every year or two.
Or another with the white picket fences family in a nice house in the suburbs. You have a choice. Because there is no way you can do both. You can't repeat many of the things you just did in Amsterdam.
Choose. Wisely. Now.

How do I make money?
To decide that I really want money. And not vacillate about whether or not I do.

How do I stay happy without the weed?
Your mood has actually improved the times you've stopped, and once the first sign of shyt hits, you run.

My moods been pretty good the times I've been clean. 

How do I get a habit of finishing?
Get a place on the wall for star charts and find out how they work.

How do I manage to stay in the right group?
Stay off risky activities like drugs or toxins that are designed to fuck you up.

How do I get rid of my tax issues?
Little bit everyday. Once the cleanliness sets in, Everything will fall into place.

How do I manage my anxiety?
You have no anxiety apart from creating dramas through self flagellation.

How do I manage disapproval of others?
You manage disapproval of yourself.

What about career?
Keep doing what you were doing. You'll find it all fall into place.

Wheres the next place to get?
XXXX. It''s a place I've always liked. It's overlooking the river.

How do I manage my relationship avoidance?

Hahaha, shame that i stopped at that crucial juncture as I would have loved to have Papa's take on that. But hey ho. :)

And I guess post microdose, things have been great. My moods picked up. I've been off the weed. Eating organic non processed food for the most part. Exercising. Also on the noPMO scene (no porn, masturbation or orgasms).

And looking ahead to setting things up for a different life. And huge huge thanks to Papa Iboga, as though looking back reading this they seem like simple realisations, but then again, Papa's insights are always cut and dry simple realisations.

Looking forward to the next few decades - they look good.

4
I would be grateful for a discussion on why this post was deleted
http://eboka.info/index.php?topic=2584.0

It's a clear and concise summary of very good reasons why I won't have Ibogaine again.

I do think it was the Ibogaine in the person who actually made the decision.

Normal everyday people would welcome all parts of a discussion especially if it was not meant to cause harm or done in a decent, even helpful and insightful (as I have had ibogaine a fair few times all to fairly positive effects, life changing definitely).

Sure it does go with the cut and dry, no room for discussion vibe of the Iboga entity that often permeates this forum. But again, I'm welcoming discussion.

5
General Discussion / Why I will never have Ibogaine again.
« on: May 24, 2014, 03:27:45 PM »
I've had Iboga and it has been one of the most transformational experiences of my life. Became healthier, had more faith in myself pulling stuff off, making 'my' dreams come true, learn a gazillion lessons like love, transformation, Effort, energy, making time count, etc etc.

But at the end of the day I came to a pretty shocking realisation - that manifestation list I dreamt up post Iboga wasn't My manifestation list, but rather Papa Iboga's. And the ideas that I had were consistent with a spirit taking over my body.

The ego dissolution. The feeling that zingdoozer did not exist. And there was no real point in life, but to live with bliss and make our dreams come true. And that the Iboga would help with that, as long as we ate right, and kept going back to him every 3-4 months.

I felt that I had been taken over by the Iboga spirit (I guess I'm sensitive to spirit and entity energies), and that he (Papa) was taking care of my dreams far far better than Zing was. So let him take over, zing will have a good time anyways.

But more shadow work, more subconscious work, getting in touch with the Real me shows me that my manifestation list was not what the authentic me wanted. But rather, what Iboga wanted to do when he was in my body. (if any of you know about muscle testing, then give it a go. Have a look at your post Iboga manifestation/dream list, and test for This is My manifestation list, or this is Papa Iboga's manifestation list).

And even looking at other's on here with fairly typical experiences. People come to Iboga for help, Iboga helps and transforms, and then makes you have intimations of mortality and worry about how short life is, and then makes you paranoid or worried about creating a list of things to 'achieve' and then an overly zealous focus on supplements, or yoga, meditation to get into that 'achieve, rah, rah, rah, achieve, achieve at all costs' mentality that sometimes causes more problems than it might have cured in the first place.

So yeah, very very grateful for lessons learnt. But time to clear my body of foreign entities like iboga, cannabis, nicotine and get closer and closer to the authentic me, and getting what I want, rather than what a (ostensibly helpful) foreign entity wants.

6
General Discussion / Smashing the 'gray day(s)' post Iboga.
« on: August 16, 2013, 02:39:28 PM »
I had probably 4 gray days my first time with the Iboga. The days following Iboga that your mood is at almost an all time low with all the dopamine/serotonin depletion. I've decided I shouldn't be allowing myself to have one again.

The first day is the worst, and needs handling. The others you can get through without much extra attention needed.

This guide is for people who want to sail through the first 'gray day'. When I had my flood, coming out of it I had made a decision 'Fuck the gray day'.

In brief, this was my strategy.

I've developed a habit of tempering my negative voice with a positive, gentle, encouraging voice and this helps both during the iboga trip and in the aftermath.

The negative neurochemicals (following the dopamine and serotonin drain) really cant develop into negative emotions without negative thoughts driving them.

And any and all negative thoughts are dealt with by a peaceful reassurance from the positive, gentle voice.

I also get dopamine resurging again with my thoughts of hope for the future and how I'm excited to drive change along. About all the shit Im going to sort out. And the steps Im going to take towards working towards the best possible future I can imagine possible.

Good clean food as a preliminary before the dream and after.

A shedload of water. Pee should be consistently clear. Iboga does dehydrate you like very few other things.

What also helped me was a Tony Robbins seminar understanding that I need to tick three boxes to feel bad - I have to change my focus, my language and my physiology. When I understood how hard I was working to feel any negative emotions it was a no brainer to use that energy to feel good instead.

So my focus, words and body language would be on positives.

I dont have to work too hard on the other days, as my normal mood is good enough to get through them. But the gray day, that one I feel I HAVE to power through. No way am I going to allow myself to feel bad. Especially when I understand how much of a choice it sometimes is.

Feeling good and smashing your gray day. That's my little two cents. Helped me and hope it helps someone out there too. 

7
Eboka Journals / Flood in Thailand
« on: August 09, 2013, 02:21:31 AM »
I signed up for the IBeginAgain ibogaine retreat in Koh Samui. Seemed legit when I had a look at their website and I pulled the trigger. (now that I have had it, I can't recommend  them highly enough).

I did a lesser banishing ritual of the pentagram to cleanse my auric field, I did a rose cross for an astral protection cloak, the middle pillar to assume the god form, chi kung sets and surya namaskar sun salutations.

I invoked my ancestors, and asked for their protection. Also invoked my guardian spirits.

I also PM' a few people, and some pretty powerful healers , theta healers, kundalini awakened peeps and asked them to send me love and light. I also entered theta state and drew light and asked, or rather co-mmanded (co-, because I'm God doing it with God) protection. I felt this was a really important step for me pre-work. Felt another beautiful energy overseeing my work with the Father.

I invoked Papa Iboga and asked if he could help with my  intentions. Which were....

Relationship avoidance.
Procrastination with housekeeping like tax filing and paperwork. And cutting out the stress of unfinished  from my life.
Stopping cannabis. I was unsure about this, but now know it has to go. Might come back, but lets take it a month at a time, or even a day at a time.

I had made a decision on the advice of a friend that I should take a couple of months off the weed, instead of neuroticising about a complete break or if I should do it once a month or so.

Looking back I recall my pot smoking years as much much happier overall than the non pot smoking ones.

However my last meeting with Papa, showed me how there is a clean me, and a stoned me. And the stoned me is taking over my life after work till I sleep. And that's when it's crunch time for priorities like creativity, essential paperwork and the like.

It was also making me antisocial. Not going out, and stuck in front of a laptop all day. Whittling my life away. Sure, a lot of other things are going tickety boo and that I'm happy with - but the cannabis use and its effects was troubling. What was more troubling though was that it didnt seem like I really wanted to quit, I'm quite disciplined with healthy habits in my old age, and if I decide to stop something, I'd bet on myself pulling it off.
Also I had a cognition that my weed smoking years that I recall seemed much happier than the non weed smoking years. So that was another excuse I used to keep the habit.

After having asked Papa for help with my intentions, and leaving a whole lotta leeway for him to do his magic, my (medically trained) sitters gave me a first dose to see how my heart would react.

This was crazy!

My heart rate went down from 62 to 47 and back up again. It was yoyoing like nobody's business.

I've never heard of that much vacillation of heart beat in less than a few seconds.

It did settled after the other two doses though, and my sitter gave me 15mg/kg (98% HCL). I was kinda disappointed about this. But this whilst in a sprawling villa, with a pool, and shit hot thai cooks, was a medical treatment centre. So I didnt suppose they would go very high. And I was just going to play ball and get with the plan.

She did give me a higher dose later (so in all, I had five separate staggered doses in total), not sure how much it was. Will ask today.

This one did knock me flat. I thought I hadn't flooded before (got close but no cigar me thought), but now I know I've flooded all three times.

I didnt get any visuals. However it was pretty intense per usual.

I don't like to focus on the visual for any part of the trip anyways - I know the spirits are there, and the visuals distract me from the lessons.

I started to go in, and I felt the familiar sinking feeling and the insights coming hard and fast.

It was a shame that I didn't meditate for 3-4 weeks (jeez, that is probably the longest break I've had from meditation over the past year). As my mind kept wandering. But I wasn't bothered, I was here for a fair few hours and there would be enough and more lessons and healing coming along.

I also had a brilliant youtube bwiti music playlist play that didnt play any ads through 70 videos (haha, maybe Papa Iboga fiddling with youtube servers so he wasnt interrupted by ads).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyJ0lAXepWM&list=PL3EA6068BCAA562F1

I once switched the music off, but was more comfortable with it on all night, though I don't see myself ever hearing that music outside of an iboga dream.

I also opened a dictaphone app on my phone and recorded key lessons in a sentence or two length bite sized chunks.

I'm about to open it now as I play this. And will transcribe as I read through the lessons.

Relationship avoidance. I asked first about help with closure, and moving on. With an ex-girlfriend that I WAS (thank feck for past tense, finally phew! Happened over the last few weeks the releasing, but like in Iboga world, everything is a coincidence.) hung up over, he said that I knew that I don't want to be with her, or don't ever want to be with her because of the stress (hehe, that I allowed myself to feel) that I had all through being with her.
Sure, I might still believe we are soulmates, but Papa Iboga asked me what I would do if she said everythings cool, she wants to get back together and have babies with me. And I said, no, I do NOT want that. And he said, see, there's your answer for closure.
I was not focussed on our compatibility, but rather the sex, and how crazy I imagined she still was about me, and that she was expecting me in some way or other to get back to her, and might even be waiting for me to get back. Despite all the mixed signals. Sure, I haven't contacted her in a couple of years, and aim to keep it this way over the long haul. I was thinking of writing a thank you/I'm grateful letter. But the message was clear NO CONTACT. Live and let live. There are newer, better realities to be created. More closure :)

Get rid of the pettiness in my life, people have so much pettiness / so many trivial issues to get worked up over. Their resentments, the things they don't like and the things they ALLOW to control their neurochemicals. Things they allow to make them feel awful.

With the taxes, start doing them, and once I start the answers will be clear. It might look complicated now (business and personal taxes intersecting) but I will have a clear road ahead.

With my other paperwork, I have to get a copy of something, and fill up the data sheet.
I also need to get my paperwork sorted as much as possible, so I get my long awaited promotion to head honcho, and can then think about leaving. Head honcho in a job like this, I'm not sure is a long term option. Sure, it's good, even great dosh, but comes in the way of other important stuff that need the hours in my day open. But however my next 6 months is to set up projects and a cashflow. But really to get the paperwork sorted as fast as possible so I can get to the next stage.

As regards the relationship avoidance, I should start that out by getting out of the house more often in the evenings (which will happen automatically without the weed). The cannabis was keeping me in, and stealing what could be a shit hot lifestyle away from me.

To start speaking to girls in the day. Some of hottest, classiest girls I know are girls I spoke to, sometimes ran up to and chatted in the street, and not standard nightclub fare.

I asked about the weed, and was wondering how to get rid of my last stash. I couldnt find my last one, so brought a new pack and have two packs. I was wondering how to do it. Go on a blast session, or give it to someone. But Papa Iboga stops me and says chuck it in the loo and flush it. Stay away from it for 2 months - then we can re-negotiate.

Procrastination. Papa Iboga says organisation is the opposite of procrastination. Organisation is an easy skill to learn, and can teach my neural pathways to grow from scrawny paths to full fledged superhighways (or anywhere in between). And the discipline, and neural pathways will stand me in good stead for the rest of my life.
To grow into more discipline with my daily schedule. Heck, twenty minutes of meditation, 20 minutes of trumpet practice (and to cancel each if I'm more than 5 minutes late for either of them), an evening pomodoro (25 minutes) or two on housekeeping paperwork will have me quids in.

To get back and work at getting things right right now, from the beginning. Instead of waiting to start a few projects. Starting immediately will mean the spirit can push me forward with momentum, rather than waiting for 'someday'. Or even a few days, or a couple of weeks. Have to make most use of the spirit driving things along in the early period.

Because time is short, and I'm not going to live forever. I am going to be aging soon, and will die just a little bit later (or sooner, who knows). And it means I have to get things done. So work on issues like procrastination (through being more organised). and having a set schedule for at least a couple of hours of my own time will make things happen automatically.

Sure, we come with nothing, and we leave with nothing. All this in between is such drama we create. But it's all just a ride. Also achieving my goals wont make me happy (or if they do, for a few temporary seconds). However the key is to be present in the Now, and lifehack the system by using the seeking for goals as a reason for dopamine/good feelings in the now. It's the reaching, or even the illusion of progress that keeps us chasing even more.

I was guided to do my paperwork and use the rest of August to catch up with this. Taking what can be an overwhelming task one step at a time will make it a whole lot easier. 'How do you eat an elephant? In small bites'.

Start anew in September, and remember to keep up the good work.

With my trumpet lessons I have to book an additional test that will prep me for the main one a month later.

I am holidaying with a good friend, and we are pretty openly and consistently critical of each other, when we are usually positive with pretty much everyone else. And I found that this was because it gave us both a therapeutic insight. It also said we could work towards giving feedback in a nice, peaceful way without getting each other's backs up. But with us getting back to being normal buddies even a few seconds later, it didn't seem like such an enormous problem that I HAD to get solved.

I asked about my own issues with irritability (though I am not irritable that often, or even by too much, it does distress me to lose control (even if its a low grade snap at someone at most). However he said it doesnt look like I want to get it sorted, so it wont get sorted. He said that I use the irritability as a rapport building technique. And use it to grow closer to people, after I might have snapped at them. Happens once or twice in a month though, and not a major problem. But it does distress me, yes.

I have been having rhodiola, and was feeling guilty about having a feel good chemical (even if it was relatively clean compared to pharma drugs) to help me withe my mood and the energy to do stuff. I felt guilty as i didn't think I needed a chemical to make me feel good, as I feel pretty good  anyways. But the pointer with this particular lesson was that people use alcohol all across the world to feel better without a qualm. And it pointed me towards evaluating supplements in a more balanced light.

I haven't been cooking my own food (been juicing, or eating out) and I was advised to start making my own food. As if I am thinking of growing my own food, I have to be cooking my own food in the first instance.

Life is short, start creating as soon as possible seemed to be the most important lesson of the trip.
So I have more years being given to create the best realities that I can imagine.

My 'gray day', ie the morning mood crash after ibogaine was a bit rough. But I wanted to smash through it. I had a massive crash the first time I had Iboga (which was also a micro dose a few days before a weekend flood, and that was enough to drain all the serotonin/dopamine for a few days). But I have learnt to manage them.

I used some state change techniques to pump my emotional state, that I learnt from the Tony Robbins seminar, which I went to. Nothing more spectacular than pumping my fists and shouting YES! And not allowing the negative chemicals to have negative thoughts affecting them. Since the seminar one positive effect that I was very happy with was a post hypnotic suggestion that keeps cropping up which was to deal with the negative critical voice in my head. I remember all 5000 of us going 'I AM THE VOICE', and that's what I have been doing with myself. If I have a negative thought, I reassure myself just like a good friend would, put a positive slant on it, learn a lesson if I need to, tell myself how I will change my behaviour (or not) the next time this happens.

So even if I had the negative chemicals in my body, they werent able to do any damage as they didnt have any negative thoughts to work with.

I came downstairs and found out that something that wasn't very nice had happened, and it had been a bit of a buzzkill for everyone else. And I found I couldn't get happy (selfish me on my grey day) with what had happened. But I spoke about it to my sitter, and she (God bless her) raised her state. And I could comfortably be back in Happy land.

My friend was wiped out all day yesterday. However now he's pulling back, and am coincidentally in the same situation / mood state as him. Which tells me that I powered through it yesterday.

But I can peacefully work through this - it's just the grey days which are like nothing I have ever felt that I feel I have to power through.

I haven't been depressed a single day since I started practising a powerful energy healing modality called Theta Healing, and was strange to feel the presence, and even the extent of these depressive neurochemicals in me (sure, now I remember hangovers too :) ).

All in all, it was probably far and away my best Iboga dream (and they have all been awesome, apart from me not actioning the middle dream's lessons, and sabotaged it by having processed food and meat on the day after.)


I'd highly recommend doing it with the sitters I had, and I can't speak highly enough of them both. It was a remarkably warm, supportive, kind experience in what can sometimes be a difficult dream (even at the best of times). But the iboga isn't really supposed to be a pleasurable experience, it's more likely to be a painful experience so we get the emotional leverage to change our patterns of behaviour.

The other centre in Koh Samui seems to be run by mavericks who havent done the ibogaine themselves. One of my sitters had jumped ship from there. This one seems to be a high class experience all the way through. Huge villa. Good rooms. Great food. Good people. Saltwater swimming pool.

Haha, I remember thinking I wanted to purge, and a friend saying that she wished she hadn't puked when she had it as it chucked out the iboga too. So I was in two minds. However I thought I would ask the Father what to do. He seemed to laugh and say, don't worry about it. When it happens you won't have a choice about it. I said, nope. Lets disagree on this. I'm going to keep it in, no matter what. Even if you feel otherwise. Haha, famous last words.

I had an urge to purge some time later, and the vomit rushed out, and I swallowed it in saying you are staying in. But a couple of seconds later, it was pushed out with abandon, and there was no way I could hold it in. Haha, that teaches me to disagree with Papa Iboga.

All in all a great experience. The 98% HCL was the best I have had, and I have had them from two different suppliers before. One of which was Cerebrus extracts, but this blew that out of the water. Cleaner, easier and quicker to get out of the system. The lessons were golden, recording them was a good move. Now onto actioning them. I have to be careful about a possible crash a week or two in, when I'm working like all get out, and the amount of stuff I have done is great, but I begin to get overwhelmed with just how much there is to be done. I asked Papa about this, and he said don't worry about making a plan to deal with that crash. It will sort itself out when it happens.

It's now circa 36 hours since I had the Iboga. I still feel a bit flat, with the depleted dopamine/serotonin. But easily handleable, and no need to artificially pump my state.

I can speak to Papa Iboga and get answers from him. And will keep chatting with him over the next few weeks, until his presence (at least in a to and fro communicating sense) weakens.

Beautiful lessons learnt. Now onto actioning them.




8
Eboka Journals / Nootropic journal(s)
« on: July 11, 2013, 03:39:13 AM »
I invite people to write their experiences with nootropics.

I shall share mine on here, and hopefully we can get some shared experiential knowledge going.

I'm now on athleticgreens (www.athleticgreens.com) a superfood organic mix of 76 ingredients. Expensive at 90 euros (if you set up a regular direct debit) and whilst I can afford it, my cultural background makes it difficult for me to pay so much over the odds when I can design a custom built stack myself. But will do that once my current stash of athletic greens gets done.

How do I feel when I have them - energetic, happy, I laugh a lot, see the funny side, less stressed, and it really does make my day a whole lot better. Maybe even as much as a 30% improvement (this is a sketchy way to explain it, but the best way I can put it across). If I thought I usually have a 100% day off the greens, I have a 130-140% day on them.

Ashwagandha - is also doing me a world of good. Making me feel tranquil and peaceful with life.

9
Diet & Recipes / Anxiety remedy - Ashwagandha
« on: July 07, 2013, 04:00:58 AM »
Whilst, I admittedly don't suffer from (too much) anxiety. i have issues with it from time to time, usually neuroticising over unimportant stuff.

I also have a very bad habit of not always attending to housekeeping i.e. doing the uncomfortable stuff that keeps the wheels turning like taxes, and CPD/portfolio stuff. This leads to background stress, and has stress hormones like cortisol continually dripping into my system.

I'm of the opinion that anxiety (or depression) is a signal from your body that you have to do something. And in my case it is of course, to do the effing housekeeping. However, since I have been awful with it for years, the other solution is to cut down on the anxiety. I use several methods to do this, cannabis, avoidance, drowing myself in work, and telling myself everything's hunky dory and not to sweat the small stuff.

But that doesn't escape the fact that the stress hormones keep dripping and I will find something or the other to be anxious about. I guess even if I do do the housekeeping, there's always a constant of things that HAVE to be done.

So voila, ashwagandha. Excellent for anti anxiety, anti stress with it's pro GABA-A GABA-B properties.

Been having it the past week. Anxiety reduces immediately after. And background anxiety levels decrease too. I'm feeling pretty fecking good too, but then again am doing a lot of other stuff that would be / is making me feel good.

500 mg once daily.  A lot of people have it a half hour before stressful situations too for e.g. an exam or an interview.

it has a whole host of other purported uses (a lot of which have been clinically proven) like - anti depressant effect, nerve regeneration, anti arthritic, alzheimer's, parkinson's, epilepsy, analgesic, anti-inflammatory, anti cancer, anti gastric ulcer, etc etc.

I'm not aware it has to be cycled. But I'd suggest a week off every 3 weeks. Give the all important GABA receptors some space, as they're probably the primary inhibhitor neurotransmitter complex in the brain.

If you were having one healthy, massive evidence based, safe, ayurvedic drug. Make it this bad boy.

Link to a systematic review of Ashwagandha's evidence based medical use's.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3252722/

   

10
Here's a fabulous fabulous book by Adrian P Cooper on topics as diverse as buddhism, taoism, meditation, astral projection, angels, the akashic records, the emerald tablets of Hermes etc etc.

And all with an access on positivity and love. Instead of the usual doom and gloom that truthseeking often carries about.

http://ourultimatereality.com/OurUltimateReality.pdf

11
I know how you guys who have given weight loss a shot feel - what do I do? Where do I start? There is so much conflicting information?

Low carb? Low fat? high protein? fruitarian? 80/10/10? intermittent fasting? ketogenic cycling? caloric deficit doesnt count! caloric deficit is the only thing that counts! frequent meals dont make a difference! frequent meals count!

None of it matters. Choose any diet, any exercise regime, and you will reach your goals keeping important principles in mind.

1. Type of diet does not matter. Really. Its all about a CALORIC DEFICIT. You might see a Tim Ferris, or a Mark Sisson go on about low carb, your medical doctor might speak about low fat, your bodybuilder might speak about low fat and high calories and dietary cycling.

Count your calories. Single most important step. People overestimate their caloric intake sometimes as much as 50%.

The best way to do this is to get a calorie counting app on your phone or computer, and plotting your meals through the day. Getting a weighing scale is also a MUST. As there's no way you're going to get accurate caloric readings if your weights are guesstimates.

2. Macronutrient spread - 30-40% carbs, 30-40% protein and 10-20% fat.

3. How many calories?
The Katch McArdle calculator is the single best way to calculate your RMR (basal or resting metabolic rate. It uses your lean body mass (which means you need to know your bodyfat).
Here's a link - http://www.calculatorpro.com/calculator/katch-mcardle-bmr-calculator/

So there are several ways to calculate caloric intake for fat loss by averages i.e. 2100-2500 calories a day for men, by a quick method where you calculate 10 calories a pound of bodyweight.

Use this formula for a very accurate estimate of your maintenance level if you know your body fat percentage and lean body mass. For fat loss, create a 20-30% deficit below maintenance.

BMR (men and women) = 370 + (21.6 X lean mass in kg)

Example:
You are female
You weigh 120 lbs. (54.5 kilos)
Your body fat percentage is 20% (24 lbs. fat, 96 lbs. lean)
Your lean mass is 96 lbs. (43.6 kilos)
Your BMR = 370 + (21.6 X 43.6) = 1312 calories
To determine TDEE from BMR, you simply multiply BMR by the activity multiplier:

Your BMR is 1312
Your activity level is moderately active (working out 3-4 times per week)
Your activity factor is 1.55
Your TDEE = 1.55 X 1312 = 2033 calories per day

So you need to get 2033 to maintain caloric deficit or a 15-30% deficit to lose weight. 

You can also use the harris benedict formula, which uses height, weight and age. But Im not going to link to it here, because I dont want you guys using it. All for a good reason.

4. What foods should I have?
Non processed organic is the gold standard. Non processed foods for 90% of your calories is good enough. 10-15% calories a day can even be 'treats'. (Alan Aragon, the go to evidence based guy for nutritional know how recommends this).

Don't worry too much about what you're eating as long as you're hitting your macros, and total calories.

5. Is aerobic exercise good for me? I hear its not that useful?
Again, its all about a caloric deficit. Person A with a deficit of 500 calories, and an hour of 500 calorie cardio will lose weigh twice as fast as the 500 caloric deficit guy.

My suggestion - do the fucking cardio. :) You might hate it. But 5 sessions a week, 30 minutes a day for initiation, and later thrice a week for maintenance will sort your fat loss, and get your energy and mood levels bang on track.

You'll find a thousand reasons not to do cardio. But you can eat a teensy bit more, feel better and get to your fat loss goals a whole lot faster. Getting some weight work in is brilliant too, as it ups your BMR too, and you burn more calories at rest.

6. What about monitoring progress?

What gets measured gets managed. The best way to monitor progress is to calculate lean body mass and fat percentage.

The best way to do this is with a handheld callipers (the gold standard is a 100-200 dollar dexa scan) - Tom Venuto (BFFM) recommends the accumeasure callipers. These are a one site calliper reading quick and cheap method (they cost a few dollars on ebay). Your readings from the Accumeasure wont be off the 200 dollar dexa scans by more than a couple of points.

The reason why measuring weight loss is not recommended is that weight loss is different from fat loss.

And you want to focus on the fat loss.

A body fat of 20% in a 200 pound man would give readings of
bodyweight 200 lbs
lean body mass 180 lbs
body fat 20 lbs

So working over time, you get a clearer picture of where you are. The progress of your muscle building goals, and the progress towards your weight loss goals. If you're putting on more fat, cut down on calories. If you're doing fine, keep doing what you're doing.

7. What do I do about all the confusion about extra meals?
If three meals a day leaves you hungry at times, then eat more often. 5-6 times a day is what bodybuilders eat. And thats worked for them for decades.
Best middle ground - three meals with a couple of snacks thrown in.

8. What about a quick and easy list of food I can eat?
Here's an online BFFM guide to foods that burn fat, and foods that turn to fat. Simple rule again, as always, is go for the non processed food.

9. Okay. thats fat loss. what about a six pack.
A six pack doesn't show unless your bodyfat is between 7-11%.
So getting to a six pack is a combination of low bodyfat, stronger, more defined abdominal muscles (this means hypertrophy which means heavy weights, and relatively low reps i.e. anything you can just about crank out 8-12 reps with)  and core strengthening exercises to get rid of the saggy paunch. 

So like with everything else - take care of the basics and the basics take care of you.

Here are quick steps -

Calculate calories. Calculate baseline caloric intake (Katch McArdle calculator). (take 15, 20 or 30% (depending on how you feel on it) off requirement to lose fat).

Calculate macros. Calculate 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight (each gram of protein and carbohydrate is 4 calories, a gram of fat is 9 calories), i.e. start with protein macro values and work backwards to get to 30-40% protein, 30-40% carbs and 10-20% fats requirement.
80-90% of calories from non processed food.

Calorie monitoring. Religiously calculate calories per day (at least for 4 weeks at a stretch to get a basic idea).

Audit. Remonitor every two weeks and reformulate plan. If gaining weight/not losing fat - decrease calories, or processed food. If losing fat. Keep doing whatever you're doing.

Variation. One cheat day a week, where you have whatever you want to eat. Preferably to do this on a cardio, weight training day.
The cheat day is to rejig and fool your body into not adjusting to the new meal plan.

This is as simple as I could keep it. Based on the current evidence base, and what has worked in the past.

As fat as books are concerned, I'd recommend Tom Venuto's Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle as a good starting point. Basics. No fancy schmancy promises. If you want user forum feedback and support, he has a brilliant member forum that targets accountability, and has tons of social support. Some of his members results are nothing short of phenomenal. Here's a 49 day transformation report.
http://www.burnthefatblog.com/archives/2012/01/tips-for-rapid-body-transformation-at-any-age.php

I'd also recommend Alan Aragon's Girth Control, as a nutritional guide (though it was written in 08, and the evidence base might be a bit dated).

Online sites are
http://www.burnthefatblog.com/  - Tom Venuto's blog
http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/ Lyle McDonald's page. Brilliant articles on here. Right up to speed with the evidence base.
http://www.leangains.com/ (PP's a fan. Though he does a lot of intermittent fasting work)

For any other doubts, or questions - just ask, and I would be more than happy to clear doubts (hopefully with mention of current research base to back it up).


Whatever you do. The road really doesnt matter. Like with anything else, you can get there with any dietary method. But you have to respect the basics of calorie counting, and choosing a route, any route, that you can be consistent with.

And its not a diet, or a quick fat loss method we're looking for, but rather a way to incorporate healthy eating habits (because really thats what a diet automatically gets you into) that are part of an ongoing healthy lifestyle.

12
General Discussion / Post ibogaine stress - how do you deal with it?
« on: April 03, 2013, 07:14:47 PM »
I'm not sure if other people have come across this - but I've a good feeling there is a pretty consistent post Ibogaine stress.

The stress that comes from kicking your bad habits, going just past the glow, and seeing the crapola that your bad habits/addictions/behaviours/avoidance, societal/personal self worth and deservedness mindsets and limiting beliefs have created.

The dreams that we pissed on thinking we would do them 'someday', the problems we now have to solve because of all the avoidant behaviours of yesterday, and so on and so forth.

With every passing day I see the train wreck that I was regularly propagating, that has now built up in the background. It's solveable, but there's a lot to be solved.

In the past this was the exact reason I would start smoking the cannabis again. I'd stop for a few days, and once the stark realities of the outside world and all the shite I had to start dealing with crept up, I would have the cannabis to almost tranquilise me and get me into an alternate reality where taxes, bills, life goals, ambitions didnt exist and I lived through one big hedonic pause where I didn't make progress in my life (apart from knowledge, and travel, and maybe becoming a better person i.e. treating people a whole lot better, and an insight into myself - so wasnt a total failure - but but but..) apart from what I just mentioned within brackets, and etc etc etc.

And a lot of shite not getting done, that would cause and is causing problems and stress over the longer term. A stich in time would definitely have saved nine.

Sure, I have to surrender to the bliss of the present moment, and aim for the best possible future.

But the housekeeping HAS to get done, and I have to remove as much of the cumulative stressors building up, so I make space for living the beautiful life of my dreams.


13
Diet & Recipes / Pré and post Iboga dieta
« on: March 26, 2013, 07:39:16 AM »
I'm still in the dark about the Pre and post Ibiga diets and would be grateful for any advice.

Ayahuasca has a pretty specific dieta but searches online and here didn't show me much.

Even the diet thread on here is wildly contradictory with some fruit and veg peeps and others doing Paleo.

I'm currently on a fruit and veggie diet. With some fish thrown in.

I do miss my meat and wonder if I can have it or better to stick to non red meat if I do, fish as a better option and pure fruit and veg as the best option.

Also unsure about yoghurt, milk or eggs.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

14
Diet & Recipes / Basic kickass nootropic stack
« on: March 25, 2013, 05:57:32 PM »
The film Limitless has a protagonist who is portrayed as a slacker who comes across a genius pill called NZT-48 that turns him into a prolific writer overnight, improves his memory and confidence, has him become a stock prodigy and later run for the US senate. This was the movie that engendered a lot of mainstream interest in nootropics.

Nootropics are smart drugs that improve the way you think, and have proven effects across multiple measures of intelligence and brain performance. They are also neuroprotective and extremely nontoxic (as opposed to cognitive enhancers that don't necessarily have to have the former two qualities).

The most basic nootropics are the racetam analogues, and Piracetam has been know to be the grandaddy of all nootropics. It helps in improving information processing, learning and memory and motivation.

If you are having a racetam, your Acetyl Choline can get depleted, and cause headaches. So it's important to remember to add a choline source such as Alpha GPC or CDP Choline. Choline is the brain's most basic nutrient and 90% of the population is in deficiency. A lack of choline can affect your memory, with sluggish cognition and make you feel like you're functioning in a fog.

Noopept is the latest of the racetam analogues, and is around a 1000x stronger than Piracetam.
It is reported to improve learning ability and memory (including the initial processing of information, consolidation, and retrieval). In Russian studies Noopept helped to restore memory and other cognitive functions disturbed as a result of brain injury, local and global ischemia and prenatal damage (alcohol, hypoxia). The therapeutic effect of the drug in patients with organic disorders of the central nervous system appeared within 5-7 days of treatment. Also reported was the reduction or disappearance of anxiety, irritability, emotional lability and sleep disorders

Sulbutiamine is a brain specific source of thiamine that prevents mental fatigue, and causes a lift in mood or euphoria, and a feeling of tranquility. However it also sometimes has a side effect of adversely affecting erections in some men. There are also some concerns it adversely affects dopamine feedback mechanisms thus affecting important punishment and reward seeking mechanisms like food, sex, mood and other motivational drives.

Lion's mane is a mushroom that is the only known substance that is known to cross the blood brain barrier and stimulate the performance of Nerve Growth Factor, which determines the rate at which new brain cells are produced. The scientists who found out about this (it's been used in the east for centuries) mechanism of action were awarded the Nobel Prize for their discovery. Lion's mane literally makes you grow new brain cells.

Bacopa is a herbal supplement used in India to enhance memory. It also repairs old and damaged neurons and dendrites and has a significant anti-anxiety/calming effect.

Dosing suggestions:

Noopept 10-30 mg once or twice a day (1.5-3 months on. 1 month off). The cycling is to reduce receptor downregulation.
Alpha GPC 600mg-1g / day (A more proximal precursor of Choline, and cheaper than CDP Choline).
Sulbutiamine 600mg-1g in the morning. (Twice daily dosings sometimes cause a crash, watch out for boner issues in men, and tolerance so skip 1-2 days a week if you are having it).
Lion's mane 500 mg twice daily
Bacopa 1 g in the morning

Additionally
Fish oil 1-4 grams/day
Multivitamins and minerals to round the stack off.

There you go, that's probably as well rounded and as basic a stack as you can construct.





 

15
Eboka Journals / Flooded with wisdom
« on: March 23, 2013, 02:47:29 PM »
had my first Iboga flood this weekend.

Wednesday - a few drops of TA tincture (3-4 mg). Thursday - 16 mg of TA tincture. Friday - TA extract from 25g of Root bark circa 250mg-1g (assumng a 1-4% range). Saturday - remaining 10% of Friday's mixture.

I'm feeling good. A bit low with the serotonin, dopamine draining.

But I guess that's about par for the journey. Will wait for a couple of days for the receptors to build up again.

Flooded with wisdom. I can't think of questions fast enough for them to get answered by the Father.

I started with inviting the spirit into me a few days ago, and had some TA extract - a few drops. Then on Wednesday I had another slightly larger dose. I had a massive mood crash the following day. But I could feel the spirit already doing its work. I felt the pain I had caused. I sat at home crying tears with the pain that I had caused so many people. Not so much in the last 2-3 years. Maybe 3-4 people. But the list has kept increasing with every passing hour. Memories brought back - but I get ahead of myself.

Mood drop on thursday with the serotonin/dopamine leakage - wasn't helped with the negative comments on a thread I started on eboka for advice. It was around getting a sitter, and even when i agreed with them, they kept coming back at me, and I was a bit shaken especially with the post microdose Iboga crash. But worked around it. bancopuma's PM's helped greatly,
There were also a couple of rough days at work, and I rarely ever have rough days at work, no matter how much work or shit is thrown at me. So a lot of tiny tiny things adding up. Made more difficult with the low mood secondary to neurotransmitter drain.
Missed a couple of days of meditation too, and that had a knock on effect too. Neuroticised about waffle a fair bit as a result.
With all the above adding up, and the iboga sort your shit out vibe in the background, it was not the smoothest of rides.

But the changes had already started. My diet is awful, and I thought it was a low priority for me as there are other things I need to get done. And my motivation was low. And as I write this, I hear the Father go, yes, I was attached to my weight, and how I had become. (haha, not quite fat, but sexy beast might might just be overreaching).

I had watched food docu movies, Food Inc, Forks and Knives, supersize me, supercharge me, earthlings to see if they could get my motivation up. And got zip in terms of motivation or enough of a kick up my backside. However I chanced upon Hungry For Change that had a free screening on thursday. It made a huge difference - putting ideas like we wouldnt feed a chimpanzee in a zoo crisps, and donuts, into my head. I ordered the rolls royce of domestic fruit and vegetable juicers the morning after the TA tincture. The Omega VERT 350 HD if anyone's interested. It had great reviews.

My fruit and veggie juice diet starts when I receive it on Monday.

Friday was more of the crash.

Prep work:
Got my sitter to come home, and gave her a set of keys.
Went out shopping and got a few essentials - coconut water, fruits, and the like.
I had soaked the root bark in vinegar for 5-6 days. did a few vinegar soaks over the next few hours. Filtered it. And heated the filtrate and scraped the residue off. No gelcaps. So I just swallowed it whole, with a gram or two of Root bark to get the whole range in.
I thought a few times about the nausea and medicating for it. Im usually against putting pharmaceuticals into my body - but opted for some cinnarizine. That killed all my nausea, which is a good thing, as I have an oversensitive gag reflex.
It sent me to sleep for a couple of hours though. Initial plan was to sleep from 8-3 and wake up and have it. But I thought I'd get on with it. Back to work on Monday, and time was short.

Downloading a bwiti music CD and played it on infinite loop.

I did a lesser banishing ritual of the pentagram to cleanse my auric field, I did a rose cross for an astral protection cloak, the middle pillar to assume the god form, chi kung sets (didnt get around to doing a yoga asana, and had a voice in my head saying I don't need to do the Bornless spirit invocation (I now know it was Iboga, as it would be another spirit in my body fighting for space with the father).
I also PM's a few people, and some pretty powerful healers , theta healers, kundalini awakened peeps, my sister and best bud and asked them to send me love and light. I also entered theta state and drew light and asked, or rather co-mmanded (co-, because I'm God doing it with God) protection. I felt this was a really important step for me pre-work. Felt another beautiful energy overseeing my work with the Father.
One last chat with my ancestors and I loaded. had half initially (of 25 gram TA extract from Root bark), and some over the next couple of hours. There's a tiny bit still left and I'll go for it tonight.

The lessons are streaming in hard and fast. I just ask a question, and I get the answer immediately. Matter of fact, delivered to me.

I see incidents in the past - coming back to me, and I can see how I made the other person feel. And it feels like a form of attack. I feel some of the pain and hurt the other person felt, and it makes me feel like a guy with a knife who goes around stabbing people in the heart.

Feels awful to see myself as a being who goes around attacking people willy nilly. (Just like Madre Aya showed me that love is acceptance and non acceptance/resentment was holding me back, and I was a resentment building and carrying machine.)

It makes me want to live a life anew. I want to give love, compassion and acceptance and more and more of it. I know I can't go around being so reckless with other peoples emotions. I'm thick skinned/water off a ducks back kinda guy. But other's aren't. And i do realise I can be a powerful, intimidating guy at times. Haha, ouch. Not a pretty figure to see in the reflection. Scaring the people around me. I thought I hadn't done much bad in the last 2-3 years, but memories coming back show me otherwise. All through today, Im getting memory after memory of some way I slighted someone or another. With the added insight of how they felt. Ouch. For both of us.

I have to deal with people with so so much more compassion, and acceptance. And Love.   

I ask why I have a glass ceiling of self worth and deservedness and it tells me that I don't feel I'm as good as other people. And that in my head there's some criterion of goodness or Value that dictates how deserving people should be to have good things happen to them.

I can't think of questions fast enough for them to get answered.

It shows me my problems that I created. And continue to create. And shows me my attachment to them. How precious my problems are to me. More precious than overcoming them.

That I have a life where I let stuff pile up on the side, let it accumulate and it builds stress around me, and once I'm in that sadomasochistic state is the level I keep myself at. Because I am addicted to the pain and the stress.

A narrative/habit where I have to be bombarded from all sides, and only then I can function fully at that level. And Ive made that into a default state. Even absorbing insights like we are all always in crisis to help me along, and focus on the positives.

But the importance of housekeeping i.e. getting jobs ticked off the list is shown to me. This is society, if I want to play. I have to pay.


And can't visualise for myself (even if I do manifestation exercises) to getting there. There are blocks, the biggest one of which is I am attached to my problems.

However with the iboga showing me the future with my current behaviours, I see how things will go ahead with my current behaviours, and its not always reassuring.

Sure, Im doing hypnotherapy now, on a tv presenter course (to pursue my filmmaking dreams), Im saving a bucketload of moolah, on to do an Anthony Robbins seminar in May.

Im meditating almost everyday, and have a baseline of bliss and tranquility.

But there is also attachment to problems and pain.

IT's time to cut the threads that bind us together. And jettison the pain. There is much good work to be done.

Bind the problem of unfiled tax returns, an ex-girlfriend I'm probably still harbouring feelings for with a silly narrative I've fooled myself into - she and I believed we were soulmates. And I do think we are. But I also feel everyone reading this is a soulmate. Thought I had gotten over her and it was in the past. But an insight into my narrative tells me a different story, and it's time to cut the ties.

Having more of an insight into my past unhelpful narrative that was keeping me anchored in painful, unwanted behaviours that weren't to my highest good.

With relationships, I feel I'm in my home stretch - and I'm just a couple of steps away from having amazing kids with an amazing woman. I have a lot of great things going for me. I've just fallen into a unhelpful narrative since my breakup of not wanting to have girifriends because I dont want to tear another beautiful soul apart. I started having one night stands, a different every week for a while and a lot of them were falling for me. Now, Ive even stopped the one night stands, and am sleeping with escorts (im being honest here), and now even they're falling for me. Had another one, a couple of weeks ago saying I love you a couple of times. She said she wanted to sleep with me for sex and not money. It's an unhelpful pattern to be mired in.

Just a whole lot of old narratives that aren't helpful anymore I hold onto. When it comes to relationships, pain will be caused with a breakup, any breakup. But I should also see that I gave everyone of them incredible joy, and treated my girlfriends over the last few years like absolute gold. And I should look to focus on more of that, rather than causing imaginary future pain.

I've stopped going out, and there's avoidance with that. in that I only go out on a night out once or twice a month.  I speak to women, and if it's going well or not, I just eject.  My lifestyle is shite, as I move towns, and it takes a couple of months to set up in a new town. But Im in a beautiful town, with spectacularly beautiful women, and classy places to go to. Not the usual nightclub fare. So so much magic to enjoy with some of the most beautiful women in the world. Gotta find a few with depth, and have a social circle/weekend plan to get there that does not involve nightclubs. 

I was thinking to myself that I dont want to have sex without love. And wanted to do it for the long haul, and if not, then escorts. But I heard the father's voice say, that delineation is in my head. It's ALL sex no matter with who or how I do it. And he showed me where my current behaviours were leading.

I just have to decide what I want and go for it. But if I go the way I am, and avoiding it, I'll be in the same place in a year. And I don't want that. i want the picket fence, woman, babies life. This human feels the need to replicate. And live on. It's a realisation that I'm descended all the way down from the primordial soup. And it would be great to keep it going.

I also see how I fill my body with negative neurochemicals and stress hormones. I've stopped alcohol and cannabis recently. Dont do any other drugs other than entheogens occasionally. But negative neurochemicals - because of procrastination, or issues of self worth and deservedness, or plain laziness, build up in this beautiful temple I inhabit.

I ask how I can achieve my goals, and the answer I get is simple. Get off your laptop. Get out of your house. Choose that things outside these four walls called life. I had a beautiful vibrant social life in the country I came from, but here in the UK, its a bit anti social, but I realise if i want it, its up to me to create it. And it is eminently doable.

And not to overthink it, just go ahead and do it.

Fruit and vegetable juicer. healthier eating. no processed food. And this body I create deserves it.
 I am God. As is everything, and everybody around me. And our purpose is to create.  The people I have the privilege of coming into contact with deserve the best of treatment.
Love, compassion, acceptance, forgiveness. Breaking free of chains of past unhelpful narratives. And replace them with new narratives.Create a clear picture of my future and work towards it.
Getting out of my comfort zones.
Treating my body well.
Treating my mind well, and having positive self talk. Continue meditation.
Treating the human body/being that I inhabit well. Soul union work with a structure. stay off the alcohol and cannabis (a month now). Get a lifestyle. Get out of the house. Get a cycle, and get the body I've always dreamt of having (always had a decent body, and let it go this past year, but there's passable and there's visibly glowing and fit). Create a clear picture of my future and work towards it.

Assimilate the lessons as long as the Father is in my body teaching me lessons. And build on them.

insight is such a bitch ???.  just all my behaviours laid out before me like that. Past behaviours effect on recent actions, and present behaviours effect on future actions. And seeing it all play out.

But still a few more hours to go. Lots of realisations. A lot of sadness too. But there is much magic across the bridge.

There is much work to be done. Much thanks and gratitude for those who supported me. lalala, your kind PM was much appreciated.

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