Author Topic: Start again  (Read 2511 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline ryu

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 91
    • View Profile
Start again
« on: April 27, 2015, 01:03:21 PM »
Hi all,

Well here I am again. recovering from a night of cocaine and alcohol.  I cant believe that I did a flood in January and I am back in this place. Prior to January the last time I partook in a flood dose of Iboga was in June 2012 and I managed two and a half year without relapsing. I know where I have gone wrong this time. I was too preoccupied in looking at my inner issues without considering the potential triggers in my social life and after 6 weeks of abstinence I went to a friends house and he offered me a line and I said Yes! Wft I didnt even consider what I was doing. Bottom line is I now need to do another flood but I just want confirmation that I will be OK to do it bearing mind I only did it three months ago.

I know what I have to do. I feel like scum of the earth. I love my sobriety and this has hit me for six.

Your thoughts would be a real help.

Thanks,

Thom

Iboga Panacea

  • Guest
Re: Start again
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2015, 03:07:50 PM »
Welcome forward Kindred!  Accept that your Cocaine predilection is based on a connection with Mama Coca and utilize Mambe/Ypadu.  In Columbia, Peru and surrounding areas they're having success with this.  As for Alcoholism consult the Kudzu and Corydalis Root.

Iboga Panacea

  • Guest
Re: Start again
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2015, 03:09:24 PM »
PS you can do another flood but I recommend doing Kambo several times before along with tons of detox herbs, water, liver detox, and enemas.

Offline ddraig

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 217
    • View Profile
Re: Start again
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2015, 03:14:28 PM »
Thom,

Dont be so hard on yourself. I took a second flood after relapsing after 8 months after my very powerful first flood. Absolutely no craving or desire to drink, and it tasted horrible, yet I was surrounding myself with those old energies and not taking some responsibility for my own well being.
Do you have a plan for your recovery? Iboga, IMO, is just the start. If you are a recovering/recovered addict like me, you've probably been through some rough shit, both before and during your addiction.

I think you will be OK. Put some intent into your journey and ask iboga what it recommends you do after the flood to stay sober. Definitely stay away from those energies that draw you in. It sounds like you really want to recover and you will. I believe that relapses can be part of the journey and learning experience, as long as they dont kill you. 


Offline ryu

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 91
    • View Profile
Re: Start again
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2015, 03:13:04 AM »
Hi Kampum,

Thanks for the information on the Mambe/Ypadu and the roots. I will do some research. I am willing to look at everything to enable myself to get through this.

Hi, ddraig,

Im planning on partaking in another flood dose and then spend at least 3 months leaving a simple life free from stressors. Ive definitely see where I went wrong last time. My brain needed a good few months to build up my receptor sites and new experiences and I placed my self in a situation where there are triggers. The old life needed to be forgotten about but I placed myself there again whilst still a little raw.

Heres something interesting too! I take amino acid supplements on a daily basis, one of which is Tyrosine. Tyrosine is a precursor to Dopamine and Norepinephrine and I recently read that too much Dopamine in the brain increases risk taking and addictive behaviour. However, I have also recall Gabor Mate, A physician who specializes in dealing with addicts said that addictive behaviour also comes from Trauma in early life. Receptor sites can be permanently damaged from such Trauma and addicts have lower Dopamine than the average person.

I think its plausible that the Tyrosine could have played a part in increasing my desire to use also.

Just a few thoughts.

x

Offline ddraig

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 217
    • View Profile
Re: Start again
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2015, 01:52:44 PM »
Hi Kampum,

Thanks for the information on the Mambe/Ypadu and the roots. I will do some research. I am willing to look at everything to enable myself to get through this.

Hi, ddraig,

Im planning on partaking in another flood dose and then spend at least 3 months leaving a simple life free from stressors. Ive definitely see where I went wrong last time. My brain needed a good few months to build up my receptor sites and new experiences and I placed my self in a situation where there are triggers. The old life needed to be forgotten about but I placed myself there again whilst still a little raw.

Heres something interesting too! I take amino acid supplements on a daily basis, one of which is Tyrosine. Tyrosine is a precursor to Dopamine and Norepinephrine and I recently read that too much Dopamine in the brain increases risk taking and addictive behaviour. However, I have also recall Gabor Mate, A physician who specializes in dealing with addicts said that addictive behaviour also comes from Trauma in early life. Receptor sites can be permanently damaged from such Trauma and addicts have lower Dopamine than the average person.

I think its plausible that the Tyrosine could have played a part in increasing my desire to use also.

Just a few thoughts.

x

Yes, IMO, addictions are merely symptoms. Trauma & dysfunction (controlling/dependent/fear ) in early life, energies picked up & inherited from environment & primary caregivers during childhood, absolutely I have seen this to be the case for me. And some of my major healings have been due to releasing and confronting these energies (thought forms etc..) and healing the lack there of (soul/essence 'loss') in various forms. Much of it we are not even aware of, due to family denial. Indeed, its been shown how the limbic system in a child can mirror the parents, due to that necessary absorption/connection the human child needs in growth. Great thing we all know here is that the brain is plastic, and new pathways and habits can be formed. The main problem IMO, and experience is that it is a soul/spiritual problem, where the real healing has to happen to give the brain new habits.

Just want to make some recommendations, that have helped me. This presumes that you are open to concepts like Psyche/soul/spirit.
Definitely think of long term goals and dreams (post flood if need be) that you want to achieve to fill that spare time and lifestyle change from the old, and stick to it. An honest stab at getting through the 12 steps post-flood might be an amazing opportunity to get some more insight on root causes whilst you are in the iboglow, and to develop a spiritual program (that doesn't have to be codified by 12 steps either). To be honest I thoroughly recommend doing Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunction family 12 steps and reading their big book on kindle: http://www.amazon.com/ADULT-CHILDREN-ALCOHOLICS-DYSFUNCTIONAL-FAMILIES-ebook/dp/B008YH705E
That program is a super-set of AA, in that it not only gets people to look honestly at their own behaviour and develop a relationship with spirit, but also at root causes in trauma etc... Its harder to find proper sponsors though since its not the size of AA.

If you want to read something that I think gets straight to the point on addiction (and its healing) etc... would be this amazing book: http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Soul-Shamanism-Ann-Drake-ebook/dp/B00NMX8TDM/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1430242738&sr=1-1&keywords=healing+of+the+soul+drake

Ann Drake is a very gifted and experienced shamanic healer, as well as an accomplished Psychotherapist. You'll see that she confirms and extends Mate's thesis, as well as how to heal. No doubt iboga, IMO, at one level, is doing similar work that a shaman's helping spirits are doing.

Also, I absolutely recommend taking a weekend with these guys, especially if 12 steps is not your cup of tea: http://mankindproject.org/ :-)

Just wanted to add, that I know its not easy to commit to long term goals and having a purpose (for me, that has been in the past mainly due to not knowing myself), I'm having problems right now doing it, and the universe is throwing some shit my way, so I'm writing this down as a reminder to myself!  :D

Love and Blessings xxxx






« Last Edit: April 28, 2015, 05:17:03 PM by ddraig »

Offline ddraig

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 217
    • View Profile
Re: Start again
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2015, 01:57:39 PM »
my apologies, double post.