Author Topic: Do things get worse before getting better after a flood?  (Read 5265 times)

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Offline Entheologist

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Do things get worse before getting better after a flood?
« on: May 14, 2015, 07:48:35 AM »
My first week after the flood was brilliant, I felt really good so it didn't matter that I didn't have any energy. After the first week, things haven't been so good, I've been getting this constant sadness/dysphoria which I'm not used to since I was emotionally numb before the flood. I have no energy or motivation to do anything. My circadian rhythm has been reversed which is a good thing I suppose, I used to be drowsy all day and have energy at night. Now I'm in bed by 8 PM every night because I'm exhausted by then and I sleep until 8 AM next morning. I wake up multiple times per night feeling kind of stimulated and unrested but I can get back to sleep easy enough.

Things are probably more difficult right now than they were before the flood but I'm glad things have finally changed, even if its temporarily for the worse. I was polydrugging for years so there is likely all kinds of damage I'm healing from right now. I'm just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience after a flood, and how long it takes before things start picking up again. Its been almost 3 weeks since the flood.

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Re: Do things get worse before getting better after a flood?
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2015, 08:57:38 AM »
Not typically but we've seen many unsuccessful or even detrimental cases post treatment on this forum alone.  Especially those with a history of mental episodes or symptoms.  I think what we take for granted is that this medicine is specifically originated in Gabon where there is a great deal of reverence and a litany of study that taken out of the traditional setting is presenting risks unforeseen.  Lately I'm developing this theory that people taking a sacrament that has been mispropriated in methods of harvesting (poaching) and is ultimately a by product of blood money (people are actually killed in Gabon over Iboga) this will present some mysterious results that can backfire upon subjects. 

So yes you can read through the forum and find multiple accounts of things not going well post flood.  I think this would be far less likely if we had gone about this the right rite of passage way from the get go.  Since we have not and sort of gone around the authority of Bwiti and Pygmy procedure it's only a matter of time before the reckoning insues.  Even I who has greatly benefited from Iboga am now facing a crisis of conscience for my part in this and not knowing how to recompense for my sins am very troubled. 

I know this doesn't answer your question and I therefore make this post out of a therapeutic inquiry of if we should be promoting the use, sale or commodification of something that is healing outsiders while harming those bequeathed to honor this plant spirit.  Obviously if we're talking about Iboga it is owed the highest respect as a plant spirit and in being so I'd surmise it is highly capable of pay back and revenge.  This may be the age of the tipping point.

Offline Entheologist

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Re: Do things get worse before getting better after a flood?
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2015, 10:05:29 AM »
The provider I did it with sources it through the Bwiti community and administers it in a Bwiti ceremony. I have profound reverence for iboga, as well as the people who have been using it for centuries, the way I see it, iboga knows whats what. Most of my iboga trip was spent fighting for a goal driven by my conscience. I feel the iboga spirit respects that. This suffering I'm having is teaching me certain things like how to detach from the superficial world of form so I suppose its all for the better. Iboga should be cultivated on a mass scale in every country where it can grow.

Offline Entheologist

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Re: Do things get worse before getting better after a flood?
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2015, 10:20:08 AM »
One thing I did feel was wrong was that maybe I didn't work hard enough for the privilege of an iboga flood. I borrowed the money to do it so didn't work for it. Now I'm thinking about working for a long time and going through any suffering necessary so that I can do a second flood and get a second chance at this. Additionally, I heard on this forum that the provider I did it with uses doses too low to constitute a flood, so thats another possibility.

The scarcity of iboga concerns me a lot too. I'm a chemist so maybe I should take it as my obligation to do my part to make iboga alkaloids available to everyone in a sustainable manner that causes no harm to people or plants. I'll happily dedicate my life to a goal like that. In fact, I already kinda did. I saw myself administering iboga ceremonies but helping ensure there is enough medicine for everyone is equally important.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2015, 10:26:06 AM by Entheologist »

Iboga Panacea

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Re: Do things get worse before getting better after a flood?
« Reply #4 on: May 14, 2015, 10:32:10 AM »
I severely doubt it is from the Bwiti as they actually prohibit its commodification.  Are you speaking of Maria?  She has many sources but I very much doubt it can be clearly proven to come from the Bwiti.  This is in fact not possible as the Bwiti are not allowed to do so.  So despite very pure intentions we've been living a lie even if it is unconsciously.

Offline Entheologist

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Re: Do things get worse before getting better after a flood?
« Reply #5 on: May 14, 2015, 10:56:59 AM »
Yeah its Maria I did it with. Ah right, I didn't know that about the Bwiti. I see what you mean about the problems in sourcing iboga. Have you got any proposed solutions? I'll happily contribute my chemistry skills to this if you wanna do some experimentation and see if we can come up with more sustainable sources. Voacangine from V. africana can be converted into ibogaine HCl via a simple thermal decarboxylation. I'm sure there are other plants with ibogaine like alkaloids.

EDIT: I have a tendency to avoid pain (I suppose we all do lol), but I'm seeing that this pain iboga has put on me is a blessing. I was stuck before the flood, iboga set me free. With this pain I have new motivation to do spiritual things. And I'm getting into states of heightened good will. Looks like iboga gave me what I need, not what I wanted. I wanted things to be easy, but what I needed is to be unnumbed, to get my emotions back and be set free from that state of inertia. Things might not be easier, but they're better thats for sure. Took me this long to accept it, but now that I've accepted things aren't gonna be easy, my motivation is coming back with a vengeance.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2015, 11:11:18 AM by Entheologist »

Offline Entheologist

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Re: Do things get worse before getting better after a flood?
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2015, 02:10:16 PM »
The sadness has been gone for a while now, my mood has been pretty good for the most part but I still have this crazy drowsiness. This has been there ever since the flood, I can barely stay awake after 8 PM and sleep until 8 AM. I hear this happens to people who use iboga to get off stimulants. I was on amphetamine for about 6 years. Is that a universal thing, people who come off stimulants with the aid of iboga get this extreme fatigue? The drowsiness is way more intense than it was before the flood. If I recover my energy levels eventually, then its all good, otherwise I need to figure out how to fix this.

Offline RhythmSpring

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Re: Do things get worse before getting better after a flood?
« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2015, 04:46:10 PM »
Makes sense. Iboga kind of forces you to listen to your body. So if you're tired, that means you need that sleep. I would bet that it'll pass eventually if you give it some time and really take care of yourself during this time. Drink bone broths, make sure you get some light aerobic exercise every day. Eat what your body craves. Take some time off and spend it with the people you love. That's what I'd suggest.

Offline Entheologist

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Re: Do things get worse before getting better after a flood?
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2016, 07:47:39 AM »
UPDATE: What has happened is I've undergone a spiritual purification in which I've been purged of so much egoic ideas, beliefs and attachments that I have been transformed. I'm still undergoing this though, the intensity of the suffering dropped a great deal but situations and events come up which force me to face things I'd been repressing for years, everything I had been running from, the things I had banished to my shadow, its all surfacing so it can be released/alchemised. Its all guided  :)

Offline Muschae

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Re: Do things get worse before getting better after a flood?
« Reply #9 on: April 01, 2016, 11:29:53 AM »
Could you elaborate? How do you feel?

Offline ddraig

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Re: Do things get worse before getting better after a flood?
« Reply #10 on: April 09, 2016, 01:13:47 PM »
UPDATE: What has happened is I've undergone a spiritual purification in which I've been purged of so much egoic ideas, beliefs and attachments that I have been transformed. I'm still undergoing this though, the intensity of the suffering dropped a great deal but situations and events come up which force me to face things I'd been repressing for years, everything I had been running from, the things I had banished to my shadow, its all surfacing so it can be released/alchemised. Its all guided  :)

Beautiful. Yes, from my experience with my addictions, from substances like Alcohol in the past, to dissociation into distracted states like obsessing over a project Im working on, is related to something I am not willing to feel, or see a different way. These behaviors cover that up. Traumas from childhood, preverbal, even ancestral that gets passed down can be a cause of this, but can be healed, if we are willing to be present with love and self compassion with these uncomfortable states to process them as you say so eloquently. It seems to me a lot of my issues are related to unhealthy, or outmoded attachments. Attachments to outmoded beliefs and ideas, attachments created in childhood that were not healthy (familial & societal)  to my individuation into maturity and healthy self love and autonomy. The ego seems to be a protection mechanism that steps up to keep us safe until we are willing to grow and express ourselves as we are truly meant to.