Recent Posts

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General Discussion / Re: Good to see the forum is back!
« Last post by Egokiller on December 21, 2017, 12:00:29 PM »
HOORAY back on line rite on my birthday ;D   so cool    not only that but wizards of dmt episode premiered on vicelands Hamilton Morrises show Pharmacopeia     what are the chances    best birth day gifts
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General Discussion / Re: Good to see the forum is back!
« Last post by RhythmSpring on December 19, 2017, 12:18:59 PM »
Yay!
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General Discussion / Re: Good to see the forum is back!
« Last post by pkeffect on December 17, 2017, 10:25:01 AM »
Glad to be back. I will be working on the site for the next few days and will post a more thorough explanation of happenings as of late very soon.
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General Discussion / Good to see the forum is back!
« Last post by Rintrah on December 16, 2017, 09:19:20 PM »
I was worried there for a sec :)
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Flooding / Bloodshot eyes on RB, safe to flood with?
« Last post by expl0rer on August 08, 2017, 07:24:44 PM »
Earlier this year I ordered some rootbark from a new source and took 6g as a test dose.

It was overall a positive experience, the only negative was that my eyes were red and I felt pressure and stinging in them.

I'd like to try a higher dose - if not a flood then still much higher than the 6g - but I'm concerned the bloodshot eyes effect may be exacerbated with high doses of this particular batch of RB and even become a serious physical threat.

I'm wondering if anyone has experienced this too? Is this a problem with the particular RB or could it be something else? Would you suggest I procure a different product (TA or a different RB) for my flood / sub-flood dose and put this RB aside for small doses only?
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Introductions / Hello
« Last post by expl0rer on August 08, 2017, 07:04:55 PM »
Hello, it's my first post here and some of you may know me from other forums.

As for my experience with Iboga, I've done several small-dose roobark journeys at home and a TA flood under the care of a treatment provider. The flood was a very powerful and positive experience. After that I didn't feel the call to come back to this plant anytime soon. That was some 8 years ago.

Earlier this year, after an 8 year break, Iboga called me again so I procured some material and took a small dose of rootbark as a kind of a test, to reconnect to the spirit, refresh my memory of what it's like and gauge the potency.

I joined the forum to learn more about this plant and prepare myself better for the future journeys.
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Suggestions & Comments / Re: Why is Eboka Dying?
« Last post by skinny on August 06, 2017, 04:32:19 AM »
Why has activity on this site screeched to a halt?

First time posting in a long time...

Last year when I was still obsessing about iboga, I wondered the exact same thing.  I would say the key members of this forum that kept it alive are now gone or not posting regularly and creating the community spirit that kept this forum thriving from about 2010-2014 where you could log in everyday and check a new message.  I could name names but those who were on would know the regulars.  I was one of them and one of the most unruly and erratic posters that caused a lot of dissension.

Something had to give and I quit cold turkey by stop reading iboga forums.  I may have lurked a few times last year, but I think this guy summed up why I should quit iboga.  Read Farewell DMT and replace the DMT with iboga.  And the funny thing is that I'm still not able to stay off the drug forums by not lurking.

And you know to get over this, I would replace this whole online community with a real life community like Alcoholic Anonymous or Sex & Love Addicts which is a 12 step support group.  Actually I have been going to both groups almost every day for the past two months and am amazed how much it's affected me just from working the first 5 steps (don't have a sponsor, accountability, or done inventory yet).

What I found in AA that relates to iboga is that I have an "alcoholic mind" with iboga.  Last time I did a flood was back in 2009.  I've microdosed a few times during those years, but year after year, I kept on reading flood reports, every online iboga forum, kept up with every new post, done online activism to preserve iboga sustainability, talked to people casually about iboga.

While iboga isn't addictive as alcohol where you need a drink every day to function, the way the Big Book describes the "mental obsession" is what I've experienced with iboga.  I way way to obsessed to seek iboga as detoxing my mental patterns, wondering if I did another flood dose things would change, seeking that catharsis that many report after a flood.

Well after going to AA I didn't realize that there is the hard work of actually doing the steps.  You don't need a controlling spirit in a 3 day ordeal to show you all your faults and character defects, but can work with a sponsor over the process of working the steps and when you get to Step 9, you make amends to those you have caused harm.  There hasn't been anything like that on here, just people posting anecdotal experiences and talking about what supplements they changed or what spiritual practice they are doing.  You don't get to see people on a day to day basis and have accountability.

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Facebook?

I've quit posting cold turkey for a year which was hard going through withdrawals by lurking multiple times a day.  These days I don't read any iboga forums other than checking here once in a while.  This was one of the best forums to discuss iboga back in the day compared to Mindvox or the FB forums which was just a lot of banter.

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Has the demand for anonymous iboga discussion totally dropped?

I don't know, but I do know that a lot of psychedelic talk has gone over to reddit.  I'm still not over iboga and psychedelics because of the new trend of microdosing that started in 2015 and is getting more popular today.  I've tried that this year after replacing an SSRI and it worked quite well.  And now I'm trying to quit because I'm using the tools of sobriety of AA and the positive changes of general diet and exercise, and most importantly talking to God and having a daily relationship with Him which I haven't made a regular practice.

Mostly the talk is about microdosing mushrooms/LSD, but I did notice that there was people seeking iboga microdosing information.

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Does it matter? Do we care?

Great questions, I've been wondering the same thing.  I'll start caring after I get to the 9th step and start doing inventory and making amends by posting here if this forum is still around something along the lines of changing my life controlling issues after being an iboga addict for 10 years or something.

skinny
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Suggestions & Comments / Re: Why is Eboka Dying?
« Last post by DiamondHeart on August 05, 2017, 08:30:35 PM »
I have wondered that myself. I think a lot of people joined various Facebook groups as they are on FB a lot of the time anyway so they get one stop shopping as it were. I feel like when lalababa left it created a void and from what I can see, Cal has only posted once in the last 20 months - those two were very key members of this forum.

Kudos to you for all the input you've given - I think you've basically been "the voice of experience" for the last couple of years.

I used to be very active but have stopped using Iboga and am not sure if I'll take it again. I don't have anything like the sort of experience you have so I'm not sure I'd be much help to anyone. My focus now is Huachuma (San Pedro cactus) which is a lot cheaper, easier to get and a heck of a lot safer!!! I have had some amazing ceremonies with San Pedro and highly recommend it.

I also felt guilty taking something that was in danger of becoming extinct and I was frustrated that so many addicts were, in my opinion, abusing it.
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Eboka Journals / Re: Experience the last few years with Iboga
« Last post by RhythmSpring on August 05, 2017, 06:16:54 PM »
It seems to be a common experience for, in the flood, after the very blissful part of the experience, to have a kind of fucked up/horrific experience. Not everyone experiences this, and the reasons for it may vary.

I experienced it as having a dream in which I was being shot in the eyes / psychically raped in the eyes, with the promise that I would now suffer for eternity. I remember panicking and slamming hard down on my desk until my sitter came. The Tea Fairie experienced it as a vivid vision of her scratching out her eyeballs into a bloody pulp. Both mine and her visions recurred 2 or 3 times.

Insight... I dunno. I consider any and all strange experiences to be part of a grander re-balancing process. If you stayed too much in la-la land, would you get anything done? How grounded would you be?

We are humans. The fate of the universe is not ours to worry about.
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Eboka Journals / Experience the last few years with Iboga
« Last post by ravipops on August 03, 2017, 10:33:53 AM »
Hello Everyone,



I’m grateful to have found this community and to have an opportunity to share my experiences with iboga, addiction recovery, and healing.  I would love to receive any insights or questions that anyone has.  I’ve had a lot of resistance to writing about my experiences so I’m going to try my best to be as truthful and complete as I can.  The last four years since my flood dose have had a lot of beauty, doubt, clarity and everything in between. 



About four years ago I entered a sober living home after completing a 30 day rehab program.  I was miserable and lost and started using the day I got to the home.  I was caught about three weeks later and rather than kicking me out, the head of the house showed me compassion and helped me sell my belongings and transported me to Mexico to undergo a flood dose in a lovely clinic.  The beginning of my experience was characterized by horrific open eyed visions increasing in intensity until something broke inside me and the contraction from the fear stopped.  The next thing I remember was leaving my body and being shown the forest.  The birth of life in the forest was shown as fairy-like spirits making love in doing so giving life to the growth. I was shown the cycles of birth and decay recurring endlessly.  The next thing I remember was waking up in my bed with all of my withdrawal symptoms gone and in a very ecstatic state.  My body was very weak and thin but I felt strong and positive about building a new way.



After a few hours I was able to get up and walk around a bit.  I felt as though I had rediscovered an original pure state of humanity.  I had no concept of the fear or self hatred that had pervaded my life.  I remember sitting down to eat a meal and feeling every organ secreting chemicals into the food and pumping the nutrients through my veins with the most incredible euphoria.  I remember walking out to the sea and being brought to my knees with the beauty and somatic connection to the life breathing out of the ocean.  I spent the rest of the day mostly to myself in a very beautiful state of peace.  I was able to see and feel the earth as the wild paradise that it is.   When night came again I had a very difficult terrifying experience that is very difficult to explain.  How I can explain it in this moment is an experience of a grand lord of the universe who was able to live in the most opulent blissful palace for the price of the obliteration of the universe.  He was allowed to live there for a time period of infinity -1 and I had the experience of that ending (would love any insight on this or similar experiences).  After this I freaked out banging on the doors of the nurses and doctors asking them why they didn’t tell me about the horrible event of the obliteration of the universe and they gave me a few benzos and put me to bed. 



After this I had a general feeling of positivity and I moved back to the sober living house.  The afterglow of the experience lasted to some extent for about 3 months. I noticed also that I was still experiencing some hallucinogenic effects (shimmering surfaces, sensitivity to light, buzzing in the ears).  During that time I had the motivation to eat very healthy and was not even attracted to foods like chocolate or coffee.  Gradually I became more depressed and started again with some unhealthy habits like eating fast food, drinking alcohol, or dissociating myself from reality with movies.  I felt lost, my addiction had turned my whole family away from me and with no education or skills, the only job I could get was working as a cook in a kitchen.   I was very deeply moved by my experience and I feel I began grasping after it by taking small doses of root bark, TA, and HCL quite often.  I feel I was deluding myself into thinking I was healing when I was actually turning my addictive behavior to iboga.  I was very confused as to why things were not unraveling for me since I felt what I thought was a real spiritual presence and guidance in the plant.  I took another near flood dose about 6-8 months after my first this time with TA and had a very similar experience.  The more I used Iboga, the more I started getting harsh messages from it that I wasn’t deserving or capable of understanding of the sacred healing it could offer and that I was desecrating it.  This was very upsetting for me and I could not understand how to live in a way that I could open myself up to growth or healing. 



Soon after this I met a healer who I was very impressed with and who I have now been living with for 3 years.  I had a very deep instant connection with her and I have since got to experience many communities, countries, people, and places all over the world although I feel I am still not living functionally or in integrity.  I feel that my experiences over the last few years have given me the context to see the fundamental laziness, entitlement, and dishonesty in me that the Iboga was scolding me for years ago.  I relapsed about 18 months ago and have been assisting in healing work while being addicted to opiates.  What triggered this relapse is a growing feeling of weakness and pain in my body.  This coupled with the persisting iboga visual perceptions makes me feel like either the substance is still in my body trying to help me get on track after all these years, or it started a self destruction sequence after deeming me incapable or unworthy.  I have used the amazonian medicinal brew everybody knows about 150-200 times in the past years and have many times felt reconnected to the plant mind of the iboga and its teachings.  I feel I receive similar teachings from the other plant but in a more compassionate and allowing way.  I have resisted learning in every way I possibly could and have poisoned my body in horrible life threatening ways. 



I’m now clean about 9 days.  I would love to hear anyones perspective regarding navigating the states of these sacred plants especially regarding using the power of truth to unravel the self and to connect to divinity.  I feel drawn to do another flood dose but I don’t think it is wise considering the HPPD or whatever you want to call it that is still around after 3 years.  I take a little bit every now and again and all I experience is a wrath followed by the communication closing off. 

Update: since I wrote this I am now relapsed about 2 months unfortunately I can't use Iboga
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