I stopped the weed, and I'm reminded how my non weed smoking years weren't as happy, and had me stressed over trivial stuff as opposed to the happy go lucky weed smoking years.
However, I now learn (thanks to Papa) that the weed gets in the way of me creating my dreams, and I lose myself in a false reality. Selling myself the dream of enlightenment and fulfilment sat in front of the laptop, stuck in my room, avoiding all the important stuff that needs doing while I piss precious time away.
So yeah, I've stopped the weed. Will stay off it for the next couple of months. The stress is a marker/pointer for me to what I need to prioritise.
My trumpet practice is back on track - I've booked myself for my grade 1 exams in December.
I bought an electric guitar, and am practising with Rocksmith on the PS3. Ive tried practising on my own, with online lessons (haven't gotten a tutor coming over yet) and nothing has worked. But making progress with this, and happy with improvements.
My harmonica practice is suffering. But instead of doing an hour a day working through a DVD of lessons at a time, I should just stick to 15 minute slots. Consistency better than extended periods is far better than irregular sessions.
Doing my music theory exams too in december.
I want to fall in love with music from a practical hands on point of view, and am pretty committed to making it happen.
I updated my manifestation list. Pleased with progress, but tweaked it. Still need to work on 1 month, 6 month and year long goal list.
Cooking also must get on track.
I'm also starting on a cardio program called Insanity for 60 days, that will guarantee me a six pack (i.e. it will get my body fat down to sub 10% (Im hoping to hit my 8% goal) which is in 8-11% BF levels needed to see a six pack). The magazines never tell you that - they always want to show you the easy way out, or supplements. No way anyone can get a six pack without having body fat in 8-11% levels.
The workout is an hour long 1000 calorie workout for 60 days, and I'm committed to working through it. Joined a gym on sunday (after a year) and already put on 4 pounds / 2 kilos of muscle. JOined the gym because I'll be losing weight like nobody's business and I wanted to minimise lean muscle loss.
Sort out backlog at work.
I find myself getting stressed over trivial shit, and notice Im ignoring the basics again. It's almost 4 am, and I'm typing this. I also skipped dinner. Three meals a day, and 6-8 hours sleep is a priority above almost everything else. This is the base of the pyramid on which to build everything else.
Papa Iboga's lesson not to get drawn into pettiness and trivialities is well heeded here.
Also working on my irritability, by telling myself I AM non confrontational. And this has been great. I get irritable a couple of times a month, probably for less than a few seconds at at time, but would like to cut this down massively.
Some stressors wrt money. Two weeks lost pay, holidays to three countries in a month, and upcoming expenses (Will be doing a date with destiny 5500 USD seminar in december. Plus a friend wants me to loan him dosh. And circa 2500 use for another course. The courses are okay, the lost pay (another two weeks) is more than the seminar's or the holidays cost. But again, since I get paid this much - I should be okay in a couple of weeks. I have to set some dosh aside circa 100k for buying some property too. I don't have access to any of this cash (which is a good thing) as it's in a different country. But yeah, I should be okay with dosh in the next couple of weeks. Until I spend it all again

. But at least it's on life changing courses, and well well worth the money, time and effort.
I had asked the Iboga for help with three things. And these are the things currently stressing me out. The projects can wait for a week or two whilst I get this in order.
Relationship avoidance.
Filing my taxes and portfolio and professional paperwork i.e. housekeeping
Cannabis
I'll go over solutions in reverse order.
Cannabis I've stopped. Have to deal with real life and feel the emotions like anxiety, that drive me to get stuff done. Also have to learn to enjoy life without a drug.
My anxiety as I said has been increasing, and Im worrying about trivial shit, but will take care of sleep and three meals a day basics and get my housekeeping sorted.
I met an accountant today, and took the first step towards getting the uber complicated task of getting my uber complicated taxes sorted.
I'm working through online hours to get my portfolio work sorted. Need to prioritise it a wee bit more. Need to show 50 hours of CPD and I only have around 15 or so.
Relationship avoidance. Come the weekend, I think Ill go out friday and I stay in. I think Ill go out saturday and I stay in. I've told myself not to build the weekend up, and meet women from a social circle, but have been avoiding going out to meet people.
There was a raw fest this weekend where I could have met people, a friend of mine was having a boxing fight and I could have travelled across to see it. I realise that setting up a social circle needs work, but my avoidance is crippling me here. Usually I can sort shit out with a sheer force of will - but been finding it really difficult with this one.
Sure, Im over my ex. Finally AND completely. And whilst I felt massive levels of guilt at breaking hearts, I've come to realise I gave them all incredible amounts of joy, was told by pretty much all of them I was the best thing to have happened to them, treated them like gold and left them better than I found them. So am positive I'll give the next girl(s) a beautiful experience.
But this social circle avoidance, relationship avoidance continues unabated despite me sorting out what I thought were my most pressing issues.
I've had hypnotherapy to deal with it, to little effect. But going for one session tomorrow with someone I know is really good, and hoping to get this sorted. if this doesn't work, I'll go for some therapy. Sure, I should just pull my finger out and get out of the house, but like I said sheer force of will hasn't worked for this. But should at least manifest a way out, instead of this 'what the fuck do I have to get this sorted' headless chicken running around.
But am committed to getting this part of my life sorted. Draw a peaceful, happy, hot woman into my life, blow her mind, and make babies, and do the homeschooling, grow food thingie.
Projects can wait for a couple of weeks as I get my paperwork sorted.
I've started keeping a diary, and a task list and working towards getting more organised as per Papa's advice. On a 30 day challenge to stay off morning internet, and it's working like a charm. Getting a lot done in the mornings i.e. yoga, rituals, trumpet practice etc. Good set up for a great day.