Topic: Why I will never have Ibogaine again.

[zingdoozer]

I've had Iboga and it has been one of the most transformational experiences of my life. Became healthier, had more faith in myself pulling stuff off, making 'my' dreams come true, learn a gazillion lessons like love, transformation, Effort, energy, making time count, etc etc.

But at the end of the day I came to a pretty shocking realisation - that manifestation list I dreamt up post Iboga wasn't My manifestation list, but rather Papa Iboga's. And the ideas that I had were consistent with a spirit taking over my body.

The ego dissolution. The feeling that zingdoozer did not exist. And there was no real point in life, but to live with bliss and make our dreams come true. And that the Iboga would help with that, as long as we ate right, and kept going back to him every 3-4 months.

I felt that I had been taken over by the Iboga spirit (I guess I'm sensitive to spirit and entity energies), and that he (Papa) was taking care of my dreams far far better than Zing was. So let him take over, zing will have a good time anyways.

But more shadow work, more subconscious work, getting in touch with the Real me shows me that my manifestation list was not what the authentic me wanted. But rather, what Iboga wanted to do when he was in my body. (if any of you know about muscle testing, then give it a go. Have a look at your post Iboga manifestation/dream list, and test for This is My manifestation list, or this is Papa Iboga's manifestation list).

And even looking at other's on here with fairly typical experiences. People come to Iboga for help, Iboga helps and transforms, and then makes you have intimations of mortality and worry about how short life is, and then makes you paranoid or worried about creating a list of things to 'achieve' and then an overly zealous focus on supplements, or yoga, meditation to get into that 'achieve, rah, rah, rah, achieve, achieve at all costs' mentality that sometimes causes more problems than it might have cured in the first place.

So yeah, very very grateful for lessons learnt. But time to clear my body of foreign entities like iboga, cannabis, nicotine and get closer and closer to the authentic me, and getting what I want, rather than what a (ostensibly helpful) foreign entity wants.

[mo]

wow, what a unique stance you are taking. i hear you, i guess you need a brake.
could you not see papa as a friend that came and showed you things that you would not have otherwise seen?
do you not know from your experience that he is benevolent?

are you then just creeped about about what you call possession because you associate all this negative judgements about it.
but why would you give it so much weight given your experience? because you think that in the end you might have to pay a price? some evil scheme on part of iboga that is yet to play out?

but you do need your brake, that is for sure. at the same time, i am certain that the loving and kind iboga spirit will respect you and you will see all the way that he only meant you well.

when we ingest anything, we take it into our body. some say all plants have spirits and that when we learned to listen subtly enough we can connect to them. but they are there all the same. i heard someone talk in gratitude about the ancient spirit of corn and apples and all the other vegetables, showing compassion for how they are treated in mass production.

it is nothing strange to be in union. but in a world of separation union is not well talked about.. it's is an old believe that everyone, be it subconsciously, buys into. it is your choice to undo it.

take your brake, see how you feel down the line. but don't judge opposite to all your experience - or else you are in fact not trusting your self - no?

[DiamondHeart]

Hi zing - thanks for a very interesting post.

I commend you on wanting to clear your body - I wish more people would think this way. Don't get me wrong, I think plant teachers are great and the experiences that I have had with them have helped to clear the fog and move my emotional baggage out of the way but it is very clear to me that I have to do the work.

We live in such an addiction orientated society and I feel like there is a danger in becoming over reliant on entheogens - handing over our truth & power to them. For me, I always check in with my gut. If my gut feeling is no, then no matter what outside entity/person is telling me, I won't go against my own truth.

I think everyone should take a break now and then and give themselves a chance to internalize the lessons learned, find out who they are inside then whatever decision is made regarding going forward, it's done from a clear space.

I wish you the best of luck - take care.