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Messages - Knownothing

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1
Diet & Recipes / Re: Magnesium
« on: January 29, 2014, 05:41:21 PM »
Hey thanks bluetiger for this topic.
Im trying to eat as good as possible and the nutritional universe is more complicated than i thought ("just eat healthy")
Had no idea magnesium competes with calcium. Useful stuff.

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Micro-Dosing / Re: My microdosing experience
« on: January 09, 2013, 05:23:09 PM »
I appreciate it bluetiger.

I´ve already been down this road on the forum before so we can close this one up. Dont get me wrong tho, i agree with what you´re saying.

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Micro-Dosing / Re: My microdosing experience
« on: January 07, 2013, 01:37:56 PM »
First off, i appreciate all the responses. I just wanted to post my experience about microdosing since there´s very few accounts similar at this particular subforum, but of course i dont mind going further in.


So what I'm trying to say is you didn't take enough if it had only minimal effects.  You definitely have a medium to high tolerance level.  Someone like JBG or I can tap in real quick at only 500mg whereas someone like Grateful Dad needs 4 grams, so you see there is a huge range between even those really experienced here.  I have no explanation for why this is.  It seems the forum could work really well in this respect of keeping tabs and monitoring micro dose schedules to make sure it is just right.  Too little, nada (at least on the surface.  Too much, things can get tweeky and weird. 

You did nothing wrong.  You should just start out with 1 gram in the morning and 1 gram in the evening.  It will stack up and quantify effects.  If it doesn't start to get going within 3 days then you know you need just a tad bit more. 

I see, well in that case i sort of did do something wrong, i didnt take enough. I had no idea one should take it twice a day, i thought i had read all about MD but you live and you learn.
The microdosing is done for now, i have too much stuff going on at the moment, but i´ll sure remember this if there´s a next time (which would be likely)

Knownothing,

Your comments sound like I have felt for a long time. That's the only reason I'm posting. I usually just read for advice. I flooded in early August and went down hard with no energy, ambition or interest anything.  For three months just wanted to be alone. Relapsed to pain pills in Dec. and felt  better. Recently started microdosing to taper. Also started taking a little neutontin/gabepentin. Mood lifted quick and have tapered down to minimal pain pills and ready to jump off. Neurontin is easy to get and little side affect risk. May be worth a try. I believe in iboga and its powers. Hang in there and follow the advice of experienced people on this forum.

So you flooded and it made things worse, if i read you correct?
And you still believe in iboga, i find that interesting. I will read though your previous posts.


Knownothing,
I think it would be an absolute lie if anyone here said they could not relate to something you have just said.....I know I can empathize with a lot of the things you have mentioned.  First, I'd like to say, you do seem like a good candidate for Iboga therapy, BUT, I beg you, take the time to do the research, your due diligence (i.e. a qualified sitter, medical testing is highly recommended) and follow all the protocols because this is a powerful substance that has the possibility of doing more damage than good if the process is not fully respected.  With that out of the way, beyond preparing for a flood (which sounds imminent), you will benefit from changing your thinking/perception.  A lot harder said than done, I know.  I am a student of psychology and what you are describing could be described as extreme cognitive dissonance and what may be a dash of existential crisis.  Iboga therapy can help, but is a mere paddle in crossing the lake that is your cognitive dissonance.  The goal is to relieve that dissonance, and feel harmony with oneself again.  If we believe we have wasted our life, our opportunities, we have failed and there is no hope, and fear death, than we are stuck in quick sand.  We can change our thinking, our cognition.  We can choose to believe that failure leads to success, our definition of success can evolve, and eventually you will stop living and dwelling of the past and start living in the wow that is now!!!  Now is all we have.  Sad to say, but we can all be hit by a bus, or an earthquake, or 1 of the 50,000 nuclear warheads that the elite have could be released, etc at any fucking moment.  So if you don't start relieving some of that cognitive dissonance, you will never achieve satisfaction.  Once again, easier said than done.  Ironically, I have luckily had the help of various mind altering substances to launch this healing process.  4 aco met and Iboga have been the most profound.  But there is no stopping there.  Remember I said Iboga was like a paddle for getting you across the lake of shit that we ride through in our minds daily.  Well, everything else that you do that consists of being kind to yourself is the canoe my friend.  I'm am talking about surrounding yourself with the right people (this forum is a good start), cultivating your relationships, various forms of mindfulness to experience your life (i.e. yoga, meditation, being in nature is a great one or me, eating meals without any noise or distraction.....), reading good books, basically do whatever gets you off within a healthy moderation of course.  I don't know if I am making any sense to you, as I am kind of just writing stream of conscious with regards to my reaction to your post. 

To recap, think about building your canoe as best you can.  Iboga therapy may even be a powerful fucking motor that just zips you across that lake of bullshit that distracts us all from taking advantage of life and appreciating everything.  A powerful motor is actually a better analogy than a paddle.  Iboga floods usually are nothing short of powerful.  HOWEVER, without a strong boat or canoe to attach the powerful Iboga motor to (everything else you do that cultivates happiness and gratitude, preferably pre, but also post flood), your boat won't work properly, and you sink back into that shit.  No one can appreciate everything/take advantage of everything.  But you can be happy and have what I refer to as the "golden seconds." 

I am sure this is a lot to take in and I have no idea how it will resonate. Sending you positive vibes.  We are blessed with many chances to change our thinking and ourselves for the better my friend. 

Peace, Blue


Thank you for a thorough response.
This may surprise you, but its actually not a lot to take in, as i know these things very well. This is not a temporary situation for me, its been ongoing for close to ten years now. Only thing is, it just kept getting worse and worse over the years.

Im not in a crisis situation at the moment, which is basically thanks to overcoming the goddam porn addiction. This may sound insignificant, i thought the same until some months ago i found this site http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ . As a student of psychology i believe you´ll find it very interesting. (Lord knows the therapists i´ve been seeing over the years knew nothing about this. )

With that out of the way, i quit isolating myself and jumped back into life. But isolating oneself for years creates big wounds, physically, mentally and spiritually. What is really holding me back now is this:

" basically im carrying huge amounts of old luggage and baggage that i never needed to keep around in the first place. And this have accumulated to such amounts over the years that i cant navigate through them. I dont see cause and effect of things, because they´re all clouded by all the old meaningless shit i carry around. "

I cant start fresh and build up my boat/canoe because im not at ground zero, i gotta backtrack through all the misconceptions i´ve created. And whenever i try, i get lost.
Im starting fresh again anyways in one sense, new city, new apartment, i´ll join some martial arts and pick up basketball again ectect, but things will never ever be optimal without sorting out my past. Its very hard for me to explain this with the right words, but i´ll always carry around these meaningless/wrong/negative misconceptions, i will never be "free to live in the now."

I´ve read flood reports where people have said it was like iboga went over the brain and the memory and cleaned out all the old trash that wasnt needed.
And if i could get that done during a flood, and perhaps get an insight into how to not fear death so much, i think i can take care of everything else myself. I can think positive, i know the power of positive thinking but i can not control the overwhelming negative stuff that easily trumps the positives (and believe me when i say i´ve tried)

Anyways, enough of that. Theres so many nuances to all this i could have written a whole book.
Its one of three.
1. I flood by the end of january and then proceed with life
2. I proceed with life, keep working on my issues and postpone the flood until around april/may. I´ve been recommended trying ayahuasca as it can help me prepare to face iboga and will try that instead in the meantime.
Or 3. iboga isnt right for me and i dont flood at all. (unfortunately the microdosing wasnt sufficient to help me figure this one out)

option 1 would be great, but option 2 looking more likely.

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Micro-Dosing / Re: My microdosing experience
« on: January 06, 2013, 03:57:21 PM »
microdosing is generally a process for AFTER a flood dose
while it might help you familiarize yourself to iboga
the "tonic" affects for iboga microdosing do not seem to grab ahold unless one has flooded

Understood. The familiarizing was really what i was looking for by microdosing, but cant say i got any closer.

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Micro-Dosing / Re: My microdosing experience
« on: January 06, 2013, 03:53:48 PM »
Rootbark yes.

well, since you are very interested...
I wrote like an hour long intro on this site, but i´d rather keep it short for you.
The ultra short version is:
Im a fucking pussy.
Its true. Im scared of life. And death.


I want to flood because:

- I need a reset/rebirth
I´ve spent the last few years extremely isolated from the world as i had more or less given up on life. I guess the years before that i was following some bad advice on how to better myself and basically crashed and burned.
Add to that smoking 5 grams a day and being a hardcore porn addict, which will fuck up your dopamine system just as much as any real drug out there (erectile dysfunction, erectile dysfunction, erectile dysfunction).
All this plus more has created a bunch of misconceptions about myself and about life that is hard to get past.
I want to understand these misconceptions and i want to accept my past and move on. I hate my past, if i could change my whole life i wouldnt keep one single day. NOTHING.
And i know i dont really have any reason to, because my life was never really bad. Just a lot more unspectacular than it should have been.

- Accepting myself.
Pretty self-explanatory. The universe gave me everything i needed in life and so far i´ve wasted it all. And thus far i´ve failed to forgive myself for that. Its very hard looking back at all the opportunities i was given but never embraced. 

- Try to figure out whatever it is that is holding me back

- Get more comfortable with living life and accepting death.

And a bunch of other shit. I could have continued writing for hours but basically im carrying huge amounts of old luggage and baggage that i never needed to keep around in the first place. And this have accumulated to such amounts over the years that i cant navigate through them. I dont see cause and effect of things, because they´re all clouded by all the old meaningless shit i carry around.
Its actually quite ridiculous by now.

I find myself at the crossroads again. I´ve been working very hard the last 4 months to correct myself and start living again, i threw myself out there, in the thickest thick of things. But the isolation affected me a lot, and things are challenging to say the least.
Im mentally 20, but im 30 soon. So what´s it going to be? Keep being 20 or finally grow up?

My awareness and mood are through the roof, despite having a long challenging road ahead finding employment, staying clean, and most importantly never forgetting what I have learned from my experience and continuously incorporating that into myself now and who I will become for my remaining years.

That sure sounds like something i need.

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Micro-Dosing / My microdosing experience
« on: January 06, 2013, 10:26:39 AM »
I finished up a microdosing process. The schedule was something like this:

First day 300mg
2nd 450mg
3rd 500mg
4th 750 mg
5th 750 mg
6th 800 mg
7th Was busy all day and didnt get a chance to take the iboga
8th 900mg
9th 1100 mg

I took the iboga in gelcaps.

I wanted to microdose because i wanted to try and get a better sense of whether or not a flood would be right for me.
10 days later, i cant say im any closer to the answer.
I also was going through a lot of challenges and wanted to see if the iboga could be the boost/anti-depressant/energy stimulant ectect that i´ve seen other people mention it to be.

There has been minimal effects. If any...

No tracers, at the most a little bit cloudy vision which may as well been caused by my contacts (change them every month)
 and excessive staring at monitors.

My sleeping has been worse than normal. I wake up alot during the night, i fall asleep very late and i dont feel as rested as normal.

Moodwise i might have gotten something of a small boost on around day 4-5, but i cant attribute that to the iboga alone.

No increase in interest in doing healthy things instead of unhealthy. What i mean by that is i still wanted to drink a beer, turn on the playstation, smoke weed and eat hamburgers rather than meditate, eat healthy, be social, work out ect ect
I still did all the healthy stuff, but i do that anyways it wasnt the iboga leading me towards it or anything.

No particular "presence" felt in my body or mind. After digesting all this iboga, i sort of find it hard to believe this is the most powerful plant medicine known to mankind.
Everything feels like they might as well been placebo effects, and i´d probably believe i´d been scammed if it wasnt for the fact the source is a person very dedicated to the cause, so i cant find it in my heart to doubt him/her.

I thought about taking a larger dose today to finish it off and really see if this is the real deal. I´ve seen some people say when they microdose too long or too much the iboga "turns on them" and gives negative effects and if i got those then at least i would know that it was working.  But i feel very lethargic today, almost like the first stages of the flu, so im in no mood for that.

Now maybe i did something wrong.
I ate normal, no fast or anything.
I smoked a little bit of weed or hashish mixed with tobacco, but apart from 1 of the days that was only half a joint an hour or two before i hit the bed, so nothing excessive.
I did meditate after digesting it, but only 15-30 minutes because that is basically all i can manage to get through.

Overall, i´d say a very disappointing experience that did close to nothing for me.
I´d have to add im a pretty absent-minded person, and combined with bad memory and overwhelming internal dialogue im perhaps not the ideal candidate for such a regimen. Still tho, would have expected more.
 

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Eboka Talk / Re: ? IS IBOGA FOR ME ?
« on: January 01, 2013, 12:01:04 PM »
I want to thank you for creating this topic.
I´ve been going back and forth about going for an iboga flood or not and i recognize the mentioned mentality in myself.
I cant see the forest for the trees and the cup has always been half empty.
That plus the internal dialogue will not let me rest in the moment of now. Always thinking/daydreaming.

These have all been non-addicts? They have tried to cure depression or they´re flooding for spiritual reasons?
Out of the 150 sessions, have you noticed many people with similar intentions that has had a successful flood?

8
Eboka Talk / Advice on microdosing
« on: January 01, 2013, 11:49:59 AM »
Hello everyone.

I´ve had the bag of iboga for a couple of months or so and i´ve been putting off the microdosing for various reasons.
But i´ve taken it 4 days now.
First day 300mg
2nd 450mg
3rd 500mg
4th 750 mg

I upped the dose because i dont really know if there´s been any effects. There may have been some subtle ones, but im pretty absent-minded at times and have difficulties connecting the dots between what causes this that and the third.
I wanted to microdose because i wanted to try and get a better sense of whether or not a flood would be right for me. I know people talk about the calling to iboga, and lets put it like this, i dont even know where to begin listening. But i havent heard anything so to speak.
I´ve been fighting my own battles, i was a hardcore porn addict but i´ve been in total celibacy for 3,5 months (yes, im a guy.) so there´s that to consider, meaning nothing is normal these days. I wanted this out of the way before a flood so i could figure out more underlying causes.
So thats done, but the question remains.

Not much effects thus far. I´ve taken it late in the evening so ive had some troubles falling asleep. Thats my own fault.
I´ve noticed a had something of an epiphany last night, a realization that may or may not have come regardless of the iboga. I´ll call it a positive reframe of something that´s been difficult.
Moodwise, perhaps somewhat better. Very slight. But difficult to judge these days.
I do trust the source.

With all that said, i´d like some advice on how to continue the dosing. I will MD for 10 days tops. Probably i´ll stop at 8 or 9 days because i´ll grab a few beers next weekend and the alcohol wont merge well with the medicine.
Should i stick to 750mg and see what happens or is up to 1 gram safe?
And on the very difficult subject of figuring out the calling, any wisdom? I´ve been trying meditation for the longest, but my internal dialogue is my greatest enemy and easily overwhelms basic meditational practices.

9
  If Ibo cured AIDS they would have a 10 year waiting list, Magic Johnson would of found out about it or maybe he did.


Lol. So he´s the one that cured Earvin. One of lifes greatest mysteries finally solved. Maybe if you ask him he´ll even confirm it.

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Eboka Journals / Re: Accidental Flood (?) Please Be Careful!!!
« on: September 27, 2012, 09:55:20 PM »
Thank you for the wise words.
Yes, i´ve read your other posts. Iboga is still a rare subject with little info compared to most things so all posts like yours help giving answers, sometimes directly and other times subtle minor scale.

The spiritual part...hard to grasp man. I mean i get what you´re aiming at...but understanding words and REALLY understanding, two different worlds.


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Eboka Journals / Re: Surrendering to Iboga
« on: September 27, 2012, 09:38:30 PM »
Im also interested in this topic. Part of the reason i havent gotten to the point of trying it is im afraid i wont be able "to let go" and end up trying to resist it, resulting in the so called bad trip.

  Sometimes smoking some cannabis can help calm the nerves, but not everyone likes to use it.

I thought mixing other drugs with iboga was like asking for trouble.

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Micro-Dosing / Re: One week microdose report
« on: September 27, 2012, 09:16:06 PM »
Appreciate the post, microdosing journals are very rare indeed.
Zero experience myself, but if i ever try i´ll write about it. let us know how you progress.

13
I just wanted to give you credit for the work you put in here kambogahuasca, if/when i order i will try this guy first.
And i hope anyone who orders from him will post here about quality and other details.

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Eboka Journals / Re: Accidental Flood (?) Please Be Careful!!!
« on: September 13, 2012, 12:03:32 PM »
Appreciate you taking the time to write this, theFatherheart.
Important knowledge indeed.

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Eboka Talk / Re: does Iboga give side effects after use? possibly permanent?
« on: September 13, 2012, 11:48:31 AM »
I would just like to try and encourage everyone whos microdosing, especially for those doing it for spiritual/depression/mental/whatever-other-than-kicking-a-drug-habit reason, to write about it.

Its such a difficult area, whereas a flood is a one-time thing (not saying thats easy of course). Im sure there are many others than myself who plan on flooding sometime in the future, that are considering microdosing first but cant quite find the right/enough info to make the decision.

How much do you use? How often? Short- and long term effects, positive and negative. Did it start off as a positive helpful thing and then turned negative? ectectect

Would love to hear more from you tanya as youve started several topics with just minor bits of info in each of them. A log or diary or something could perhaps be helpful for all of us, including yourself.

Im sorry if im stepping on toes here, not my intention at all, maybe its just me who should try myself and get the knowledge and understanding by experience...

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