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Messages - zxxz

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1
Introductions / Re: Greetings!
« on: August 23, 2012, 02:45:29 PM »
I like your answer, Calaquendi.

My first flood was a bad trip, too, and it was REALLY bad. And I mean REALLY bad compared to anything else I ever tried, and I'm both tough and have tried quite a bit of things, so I think it was objectively bad, too. But I did not panic, I was more in some sort of a heavy state where I thought "I'll not manage another hour of this, it has to stop". And then I thought so hour after hour after hour, getting weaker and weaker and weaker until tears pressed out and I thought I'd not survive. I mourned my life, and no longer cared if I lived or died. Actually, I wished I was dead.

Still, I don't regret the trip. I learned so much, and I just want to know more. I am breaking away from a rather stressful inner reality, where I was my own slave driver. I'm finding inner peace and I do not regret it. No matter what others around me think about me not being as reliable as I seemed to be before.

Btw, I did get anxieties after the experience, and I have NEVER EVER had anxieties in any form before, so it was new, and rather interestingly painful.

The thing is, I flooded again, and what had caused the anxiety the first time, was me learning a fact of life I didn't want to know, and had suppressed. During my second flood, the solution to this thing was given. I now know something I never knew before. If I hadn't seen the problem, I couldn't have gotten the solution, and the solution is way better than what life had in store for me before, so the problem HAD to be uncovered in order for me to get the solution.

But that's me. I am curious and never regret things. I kind of just experience things, without regrets, and have always been like that, for better and worse. Experiences are awesome, to me.

And again, I like what Calaquendi wrote. Only you know if it's right for you. At least I knew the second I heard about Iboga - before having read anything about it and before knowing almost anything about it - I just heard somebody telling about it for 10 seconds - but I instantly knew it was for me. I was right.

Good luck.

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Eboka Journals / Re: Can this be?
« on: August 18, 2012, 05:03:54 AM »
The strong buzz will stay, but when you open your eyes, the visuals will go away until you close them again, aside from some trails, light being very bright, and little light flickers in your vision.  TANYA, since you seem so scared, and so apprehensive and notice all sorts of weird negative side effects, I might not do iboga.  I mean, it's tough, but unless you have heart trouble or choke on your vomit, which shouldn't happen, as long as you lean over to throw up, then it isn't going to kill you and it isn't going to last forever.  The point of the trip is to bring all of your issues to the surface, so you can learn what they are, why they are occurring, and what you need to do to fix them.  If you are too afraid to take the chance at seeing what these may be, then you'll continue to live in fear.  If you let go of your fear and just deal with it, things should get better, even if they start to get worse first.  Sometimes that's a part of healing.  I wish you the best!!

Well said, GD.

If you decide to try, TANYA, here are my advices:
1. Let your body take care of your survival.
2. Let ibogaine take care of the show.
3. And use your own efforts on calming yourself down, keep a positive, pleasant focus and remind yourself of 1 and 2 above every time you start getting anxious or try to will yourself to these things. They aren't for your ego. That's why the ego fears them - the ego can't create life, nor physical life, nor internal life. When it happens, it happens all by itself. Just observe.

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Eboka Journals / Re: Can this be?
« on: August 17, 2012, 10:54:46 AM »
Hi thankyou so much for your reply, i learned alot. no, i am not a mentally healthy person, unfortunately. i have bipolar and anxiety. i dont know how a flood would work, and i scared, honestly. microdosing works ok for me, but i do get respitory (minor) issues: congestion, and im nervous if that would get worse on a flood.

so during the time you flood, when you were hearing those loud, annoying noises, they never stopped the entire time? like does the iboga give you a break if you need one? or lets say the visuals are getting to you already. can it stop-just stop for a few minutes, and then you get back into it?

in any case, thanks again!

I didn't hear any loud or annoying noises (except that normal sounds were much louder than normal and distorted). What I meant above, was more some "sense" of sound... Almost as if in addiotion to visuals, my brain also had a "soundtrack" - a soundscape similar to the way I had visuals? Very hard to explain, as I have never experienced anything quite like it. If I were to explain it, I'd say the visuals are similar to dreaming, and the soundscape I heard was like dreaming in sounds? The visuals showed a story of how things in my reality fit together or don't fit together in my inner. The sounds told me how my "attitude" change the experience of these realities. If I was having the right attitude, the soundscape was positive, and the visuals where pleasant. If I was anxious, the same me and the same visuals were experienced as threatening, etc.

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Eboka Journals / Re: Can this be?
« on: August 17, 2012, 06:18:37 AM »
i have 'seen' many folks eat iboga world root bark capsules

9 capsule (2.75 gram) was sufficient for most to get a boost with visuals for 6 - 8 hrs
13 capsules (4 grams) was what was usually given for the six month post flood boost and lasted about 12 hours
27 capsules (8.5 grams) produced a flood - although milder than a TA or HCL or 15 grams RB

a friend who has done lots of aya recently took 1 gram TA
and what night it was - he relived all his childhood abuse
but was able to go home the next day

everyone varies a lot

GD - sorry you have such a high tolerance - must cost you a lot to microdose
my microdose varies from 300 mg to 1 gram in a day and shifts my awareness to a more expansive place

jbg

Thanks for the info! That's what I was wondering about, and it fits what I experienced. I wonder if it's a bit of a "if you done it once, you can access it more easily again"? I have read somewhere that people need  stronger and stronger doses, but when it comes to me, I seriously had clearer visions this time, with 4 g bark than last time, with 3 g IW TA. That is counter-intuitive to everything I have learned theoretically, where it's said that clearer visions come with the purer forms of ibogaine (hcl) and higher doses.

Hi thanks so much for answering. thats really interesting. so, do you feel better after the 4 grams, and all those hours of visuals? thats scary that such a small dose could give so many hours of visuals. when you have the visuals, do you have any breaks at all? i mean, i heard if you have  scary visuals and you blink your eyes then the visuals change. what about a break from the visuals? meaning that the mind is blank for a few minutes, and then gets back to the visuals, or is it constant visuals with no let up for however many hours they last?

im asking bec. i havent flooded yet, but i am microdosing about 600 mg rootbark twice a week.

sending out healing vibes! :)

Imo the visuals aren't the heavy (or heaviest) part, I find them stunning and beautiful and want more and more of them. As you say, the scary ones can be shut down by opening the eyes. The heavy part, imo, is to be so split in the psyche. I end up with many different myselves that all quarrel and pull in different directions, and it's really exhausting to endure. It lasts for so long, that the last 4-8 hours of my floods, I have just wanted it to end. Also, the "soundscape" of the flood - the noises you hear and the threat level you hear/feel, can be exhausting. I was more tortured by the voices in my head quarreling for so long and the "feel" I had, than by the images. Remember, you can't sleep for this time, and I have flooded in the evening, so by the end of my floods I have been awake for around 35-40 hours without food and also gone through hell physically. So yeah, it is hard, but the visiuals aren't the hard part, ime. Btw, if you are a mentally healthy person, you probably know how to think positive, and I learned this last time that the inner is a magical landscape, where you can set the mood you want. Since I was depressed, my mood was pretty dark, thus the bad tripping, I think. But you can form it somewhat yourself, just that it takes awareness to manage, so you might have to work on it before you get it. A bit like biking, hehe. Some threatening shadow can be turned into a bright field and a cold, empty person can be a potential friend. If you think the right way. 


Btw, do you like the microdosing? It didn't work for me. I microdosed 300-600 mg 1-2 times a week for a while this spring, and over time I got jittery, aggressive and somewhat dark.  I wonder if the bad effect is caused by the fact that when you take ibogaine often, there is still noribogaine in your blood, and maybe the mixing of  ibogaine and noribogaine cause the bad effects in me? Would be interesting to know if there is info on the effect of ibogaine + noribogaine here somewhere?

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Eboka Journals / Re: Can this be?
« on: August 17, 2012, 02:40:04 AM »
6 g will give me just a tad more of a buzz than 4.  For me to flood it takes probably at least 30 g of bark if not 40-50.  I normally weigh between 160-180, but usually closer to 165-170.  With my first flood I took 5 g of TA and I weighed probably about 140 lb. That dose kicked my ass but got me clean from methadone with a single dose..

My first flood kicked my ass, too, so I guess I know what a kick ass flood means. Not wanting to do it again, tbh, but yes, the aftereffects are awesome. Congrats on getting clean. For how long have you been clean? And how often/how do you crave - if you ever do? (I only stopped cigs, but ended  up smoking again after 2-3 months. Stopped again after this flood btw, despite it only beeing 4 g of bark.)

I read somewhere that on average, women get higher blood percentage from iboga than men, anyone have statistics on it? I'm a woman, so might play a role in all of this.

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Eboka Journals / Re: Can this be?
« on: August 17, 2012, 12:56:24 AM »
It sounds to me as if you are very sensitive and happened to get a real good batch of the wood.  On 4 grams of some decent bark, I can get some faint closed eye visuals, and I get introspective and somewhat enlightened.  I am an extreme hard head, too, so it's feasible this 4 g gave you a powerful experience, albeit a bit unusual.

What's your weight? I'm around 125 lbs.
If your weight differs, then how would you react to the equivalent of 4 g?
Example: Say you are 175 lbs, then how would you react to (4 g* 175lbs/125lbs =) 5.6 g of root bark?

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Eboka Talk / Re: The questions (lots of them)
« on: August 16, 2012, 05:07:02 PM »
I'll answer without reading the other answers, to not be influenced, so bear with me if I say things others already said.

Good evening Eboka.

Ive been reading about Iboga for something like six months. I have a lot of questions and i started writing this post some weeks ago. Some of the answers i found myself through epiphanies as i wrote about my situation but i hope to get some pointers for some of the more difficult questions that remains. I also decided to include my whole background because by making this a big post with lots of info, i believe it can be beneficial to other people who are in a similar position as myself and are doing their research into the world of iboga. However, i know people are busy so ill ask the questions first and those with lots of spare time can read the whole thing if they want to.

Good evening! :-)

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1. WHERE IS THE BALANCE?

There are two statements that are recurring about ibogaine, one is "Ibogaine is not a magic pill" and the other one is "My life has completely changed, im reborn".
Obviously something in between is missing. Im trying to find out how much you really change.
Myself, ive never done hard drugs but i can of course see how a hard-drug user through years will feel his/her life is completely changed if the addiction suddenly is removed. But if you do ibogaine for other reasons than kicking drugs, what type of change can you expect? Some reports paints the picture that of a new christian (you know the wide eyed ones who just saw the light?). Where is the balance?

You get insight, and you are reset on many levels, but it doesn't change you unless you make an effort to change. Old habits will take you over again, unless you commit to the knowledge you were given.

Examples:
Physical resetting: I gave up smoking, as the physical addiction was minimal after ibogaine. I still craved cigarettes once in a while, but it was easy for me not to smoke. I still had to actually say NO to cigarettes, and, after 2 months, I forgot that, and took a cigarette, and that was it - I was back to smoking.
Magic pill or not?

Mental resetting: I learned from Ibogaine that I should stay present in reality (in the tempo reality has) and I learned how I should turn off the stream of consciousness and just let myself into the now fully, without worrying about other things than the here and now. I saw clearly why and how. It was so easy to understand on a fundamental level why this is a better way of living. A lot of such knowledge comes up with Ibogaine, but the problem is, when the effect of the flood wears off, you only have the knowledge as memories. You know what to do and why, but you no longer feel it on as deep and fundamental a level. So that means it doesn't anymore come to you as a inner flow, but you have to actually perform what you have learned. If you don't watch it, old habits will take over again, and you'll fall back to your old patterns of thinking and living. I have to consciously turn off my thoughts/my stream of consciousness many times a day, to return to life. It has been magical to feel like a child again after having stiffened in a stressed "tomorrow i have to..." kind of lifestyle for years. The thing is, though, I still have to work against the many years of habits. In other words, I'm myself again, only with insight.
Magic pill or not?


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2. THE CONSEQUENCES OF A FULL FLOOD

From what i understand, a full flood is the way to go. But please try to see this from my point of view. I know alot of people on here are "cosmonauts/psychonauts" and whatnot and take multiple psychedelics. Im at the opposite end of the spectrum. Ive never touched anything apart from beer and weed. Ive always been too afraid of pshycadelics, as im well aware of my own nervous nature and phobias. I could see nothing but a bad trip coming my way and my previous friends suggestions that its not dangerous would easily be ignored.

It is a heavy trip, and you should consider having a guide. Giving up your ego to find yourself in a split mind is scary and frustrating and having somebody to explain you things as you go would be better, imo.

Ibogaine is very heavy, both physically and mentally. If you have had a lot of physical trouble in your life, and learned how to calm yourself down, you will probably know how to not panic cause of the physical trouble. If you have experiences with internal trouble, and learned how to sort your mind, you will probably be better prepared for the internal trouble.

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So im wondering, how is me never having done any psychedelics before going to affect me jumping into a full flood, also considering ive had zero spirituality in and about my life, ever. Ive read reports where people had a bad time, but their experience with psychedelics made them handle it better.
How significant would you rate your previous experiences when doing ibogaine VS being a psychedelic virgin jumping in with both feet ?

Impossible to answer.... I think all your experiences with physical and mental problems will be helpful, as mentionned above. Psychedelics and other drugs are just a way to have experienced things that may make you freak out less when things get weird. Read about what you can expect, both mentally and physically, and you should be able to calm yourself down, when you recognize the issues (nausea, ataxia, distorted vision and split mind, hallucinations, mental speed, uncomfortable images).

Also, know that to a certain degree, you can alter your inner state on will. The inner is a magical landscape, and your attitude decides the "sound" of it. Meaning that if you calm yourself down, you will experience the colors, the action,  the faces and the things you see and hear as less threatening, no matter what you see. Ime, the sounds you hear when on ibogaine, are more or less threatening depending on your attitude. When I was more anxious in periods, the sounds were threatening, when I was relaxed, I heard drums. A bit as if my attitude set the music to a movie in my head. :-)

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3. THE POTENTIAL OF A SO-CALLED BAD TRIP

Im really scared about this potential. There are indeed bad trip reports around. I had gathered a whole bunch i wanted to discuss but my computer crashed and im tired of digging so i just found a few examples:
https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&t=25401
http://eboka.info/index.php?topic=1097.0 the user ELENA gives her account late in the thread.
http://eboka.info/index.php?topic=1443.0
And i take it for granted most forum members here remember the goatboy story.
As im writing this i realize its a question impossible to answer, but how great is the chance of a bad trip? And any advice on how to avoid it would be appreciated.

Attitude, attitude, attitude.
Calm yourself down as explained above.
Also, the higher a dose you take, the more you'll lose yourself, for better and worse. I would recommend not going above 30 mg/kg on the ibogaine, but I know some people here disagree.

Another trick, is to think positive thoughts the days before you flood. Try to calm yourself down and prepare. Think about how you want to be changed, what you want to know. Ibogaine has had very specific lessons for me the two times I have flooded, and has told the same thing over and over again from all angles until I have gotten it both times.

Your job when you flood, is to love yourself, and comfort yourself (your ego) in the meeting with your powerful inner self and all the other parts of you that will come out. You can think of it as watching a show of how you have treated yourself in your life. If you have treated yourself badly so far, then you will probably experience more pain.

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4. CLINICS VS DO IT YOURSELF

Clinics here means anyone who offers the iboga, location and sitter, including hobby shamans ect.
Advantages, disadvantages, recommendations, anything really. I DO NOT trust testimonies on the clinics own websites. I dont know about the politics of naming names, but personally i feel any negative experience around something so important in ones life should allow naming names, especially with the prices that clinics operate with. I mean after all, there is a certain death rate involved and people who arent fully committed to the well-being of the patient should be called out. Money talks and even churches steal so you cant trust noone really. Ive also seen posts about ibogaine providers attacking each other with accusations (eliminate the competition principle)
Now me personally, i have something like 5K$ on my life savings/crisis account which i could use if necessary (and i think i would if i knew an expensive clinic option would guarantee a more positive experience than i could create myself), however im not gonna blast them off on something not worth it. (I live in Europe BTW, travels outside might prove too expensive)  (basically, where is the IMDB version of ibogaine?)
This also goes for vendors/providers, but a saw another thread recently about it.

Find a sitter who you trust completely, and check your heart. If you can find somebody to guide you when and if you freak out, that would be preferred, imo.

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5. SITTER VS NON-SITTER

Apart from the potential heart issues and potential toilet issues, any need for a sitter?
Also, how much do you communicate out loud during the trip? Am asking because some of the answers that i seek i consider too personal to share with anyone i know, therefore i dont want speak out loud about things that could be embarrassing. Trust issues indeed.

Yes, you need a sitter. If nothing else to bring you things you need, or open a window if it gets too warm and such things. I did it without a sitter my second flood, but it means I couldn t get food, nor water for a day. You probably will not talk much the first 12 hours, then I think it depends on what you feel like. I would personally recommend writing and drawing your experiences as soon as you can hold a pen, but then again, Ibogaine would probably tell you to do exactly what you feel like and follow your instincts. :-)

And yeah, if you get anxious, and it might happen, human contact could be desired, so if you can have a friend or a partner there, who can touch you, it really would help. I missed and craved this, especially the first time, when I didn't know what to expect.

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6. DIRECT CONTACT WITH THE SPIRIT OF IBOGA

I would like any hints or tips on how to maximize the chances of getting solid contact with the spirit of iboga. Ive read reports where people have had many different aspects of the experience but not gotten a chance to speak with the spirit. I view this as possibly the most important aspect (but i may have gotten it wrong of course)

I will tell how I experienced Ibogaine....

I don't think of the Eye/the Spirit/the guide as "the spirit of Iboga". The thing I think, is that Ibogaine is a poison, that turns your head into a fully conscious mess. Meaning, you'll hear and see and experience simultaneously both your ego talking as well as all the unconscious programs and crazy self-messages you have. You get split into 2-3-4----100 parts all quarreling and fighting eachother... And you will even recognize most of them. If you have a complex inside you mocking yourself normally almost in silence, it will hammer at your ego loud and clear when you are on Ibogaine. This is when your Self will take you over and start showing you things in a way that is awesome, explaining you how to solve the conflict, but also this extreme powerful "see-it-all" Self,makes your ego feel very mortal and very small. I think the thing people refer to when talking about "the spirit of iboga" is what I refer to as "the Self" here. The totality of you, your divine, yet earthy - alive - nature.

I see the ego as "myself" and it deals with how I relate to the external world. The ego places us in the external and takes care of our relation to the external. This means things like how you look/behave/achieve things in relations to others (the way you push yourself outwards) and how you let or don't let others influence you (the way you monitor and let things enter your mind), etc. etc.

The self is underneath your ego. It is your center and your life force and your soul. As I see it, it is linked to everything else that is alive in the universe through being ... alive. Your body and your ego is kind of a ship carrying life onwards. In that sense, there is a battle between the very mortal ego (you) and that nugget/cell of almost eternal life (the Self). I  think Life is what moves through everything that is alive, and it is an organism of it's own, in a way. Like... everything out there that is alive, carries a cell of a bigger and much longer living organism - LIFE itself. In that sense the Self can feel like a parasite of the Ego, meaning that the Ego often will want to create a life and live forever on it's own. The problem is, the Ego cannot create life. It needs the self to enter life and be in life, and HAS TO follow the rules of the Self to not die on a mental level. People who are depressed are off balance with their Self, imo. At least I tried to create life on my own, and I cannot. I have to let it happen all by itself, in the tempo dictated by this "life organism". Symbiotic relationship, if you want, is what I seek atm. I think the Ego has to follow the rules of the Self to be happy, but I also think you have to let your Ego develop to have a life, since the Self doesn't really understand your external reality too well. But it can definitely help you/guide you when it comes to internal conflicts. And after that, it is your job (your Egos job) to keep in balance with nature/the self and realize you in ways that fit your nature.

Anyway, that was just how I see it. I am sure you will find your own explanation of this, depending on your own previous experiences and your "religion". :-)


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7. CLEAR/REALISTIC INTENTIONS   

I´ve read several places comments about the importance of having clear intentions about what you want fixed when taking iboga. What if your problems are all over the place?
Honestly, i have no idea what to fix. I have no idea where im going in life, what to become, what to achieve. Hundreds of hours of soul-searching got me nowhere, and im left with no real sense of identity. I just know im fucked and i need someone to smack me into reality.
If i dont know what to fix, how can i go in with clear intentions? And how significant is it really in the first place?

This sounds familiar.

Here are some key actions to try for a while:

1. Cut off your stream of consciousness, and just be in your senses for as much as you can. Take a walk, and tell yourself to guide yourself into your senses, and to stop spinning in thoughts. Be present in your senses - lose yourself in them. The thinking spin is the Ego's way of trying to create life, by planning tomorrow and the future and all such shit, as if you will live forever. You won't, and in additon - you'll actually be a million times happier, feel more alive and even be more productive if you cut this thinking/spinning/planning/self-talk crap of your stream of consciousness and just live in the here and now and in your senses. Try it for a week, if you can afford it, and see if it helps you. This is the single most important lesson Ibogaine has given me. Seriously, it works wonders!
2. Talk truth, and nothing but the truth. Monitor every single word you tell and be as precise as possible. If it is not important do not talk. If it hurts the other person, do not say out loud. And if it is not 100% what you perceive, rephrase it. You will find yourself happier with yourself, love yourself more, and be more in tune with reality if you do this. In general, you'll gain self-worth and be more alive.

There are more rules I could give you, but I'll let you try those two first. Go live alone in nature for a week before you flood on ibogaine, and follow these rules. It will help you to get somewhere in your search for questions to fix. I suggest you try this for a while and reflect on what it does to you. Spend time alone, and totally off the computer. Doesn't matter if you are bored. Just lax, if you don't know what else to do.

Ah, also, try this one:

3. Give yourself at least 30 minutes of absolute silence - both mentally and physically - every morning, to find yourself. Try and feel who you are and what you are before you do anything else every day. Just relax, and let yourself come to yourself. Don't EVER open the computer or run around before you have contact with yourself. You'll lose much more than 30 minutes a day if you don't give yourself this.

I could go into detail about WHY these things are so important and correct, but it would take a lot of time to type it out, so please just try it for some weeks, and you'll see extreme results, I think. After that, you'll be able to answer your own question about what you should fix in yourself. :)

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8. NORIBOGAINE, THE AFTERLIFE

I understand this works as an SSRI, anti-depressant, for a few weeks. So apart from whatever changes the ibogaine does, it also keeps you somewhat happy (?). When this fades away, are you back to your old empty self? Like nothing ever changed? There isnt too much written about the afterlife of ibogaine as most write trip reports a few days after the flood, so it would be nice to get some more info regarding this.

You bring your knowledge from the trip with you for as long as you want (let go of knowledge you don't want to remember, keep the good things), and if you followed up on the knowledge, it will stay with you forever if you want. If you fall back into old patterns, the knowledge will be fading, like anything else fades when you don't live it. You are kinda faded internally, it seems, from what you write, and that means you have not lived for a while. Try the rules above, and you'll feel life again. :-)

Other than that, I felt how the nor-ibogaine dissappeared, and out of it came a me that was more alive, and more like how I used to be, when I was a child. It was a relief to lose the nor-ibogaine effect actually. Just cause I was finally totally me again, without the depths of my depression and without any drug effects. So if you manage to change patterns, then you 'll probably be yourself, just a much happier yourself after the nor-ibogaine wears off.

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9. MUSIC

In the iboga protocol thread: http://eboka.info/index.php?topic=740.0 the user psychenaut recommends music during the trip. Can anyone else chip in on this?

I could not stand music during my floods. Everything was disturbing. I guess all people have their own preferences. Try it if you want, and you'll see.

Good luck!


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stuff you wrote about yourself
I think you will need more than one flood to get to where you should have been, but I think Ibogaine will get you there. It will take some time and some (self)work, but I think Ibogaine will - at least over time - give you the motivation for it. The selfwork will, I think, make more and more sense to you, unlike now, and Ibogaine is a psychologist that makes sense of all the rules in ways psychologists can't manage. They just talk empty words without meaning until you have done ibogaine, imo, then you'll realize what the things they said meant. hehe. It is probably quite obvious to people around you what you lack, btw. If you weren't so locked up, you would understand what they said and help yourself through what they say in a healthier way, instead of guilt tripping yourself and defend against their criticism. But that's so impossible to see. Until after ibogaine. At least this is my experience.

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Eboka Journals / Re: Can this be?
« on: August 16, 2012, 07:22:55 AM »
with only 4 grams you had 22 hours of hallucinations? oh my. would you mind saying why you did the iboga? was it for drug issues or mental health or just psycho-spiritual? im asking because if it was for mental health, maybe that is why it was so intense. i would like to start doing 1gram a week. but does one gram already give visuals?

how did you feel after? did you feel like you had that glow? happy? its amazing that on only 4 grams that happened to you.

I did a 3 g IW TA flood (31mg/kg if I assume the IW TA is 60%) some time ago, and hallucinated for about 25 hours. I did it for mental reasons that time, but also quitted smoking, and was very happy with the loss of my bad smoking habit. Later, I started smoking again, unfortunately, and have tried to quit it again for about half a year now, always relapsing. I often took some hundred grams of root bark while withdrawing, to ease the withdrawal, but some days later, I would start smoking again, anyway. It was getting on my nerves, and I thought to do a second flood, of 1 g hcl, to quit the smoking and also to fix some questions I still had after the first flood, but couldn't quite get myself to do it, as my first flood was a bad trip nightmare for most of the 25 hours the hallucinations lasted.

Then I read somewhere, some drug addict recommending a 5 days of 1/5 dose of ibogaine treatment, to get rid of an addiction, but not have a (scary) flood experience. It seemed to me, he meant that you would be able to function as normal every morning, and could do 1/5 a dose every evening for 5 days and then have the same addiction breaking effect as with a full flood.

So, I digested 15 of the IW 300 mg capsules of root bark in the evening. Thinking I'd wake up as normal, hoping for some mental effects still. But after something like 15 minutes, I started feeling the same way as when I was having my first flood. Things started spinning in front of my eyes when I closed them, my body was glowing with heat, and the sounds were the way I would expect outer space to sound when it is sped up. I started getting really, really scared, cause it happened very soon, and was getting stronger. I went to the toilet, stuck my fingers in the throat and puked as much as I could, some did come up for sure, I remember that taste.... Then I went to bed again, and started going off to the iboga dimension.

My first flood, despite being dark, gave me a "green" lesson - a lesson in earthiness and human life and what it means to be human. This time, I had a "blue" lessen - it was much more divine, and told me about love and human relationships. The first time I learned to love myself, this time I learned to love/relate to others. Very important lessons for me both of them.

I have walked the earth as a happy, alive being since that time. I'm IN the world. The same way I was in it as a child. Things have depth, they are no longer 2d images of stuff. They are 3d. It's hard to explain, but I definitely have a lasting effect.

Clear visions for 22 hours on 4 grams of Root Bark!?   I got visuals for about 6 hours on 37 grams.

What was your source?  Was it 15 year old RB?  Would love to know more and how this is possible.

The IW 300 mg capsules....

I would love to know if others have similar experiences.

As I explained above, I have tried microdosing for a while. Over time (5-6 days and more), I get aggressive, dark and "off", so I don't like microdosing at all. I think the effect multiplies over time? Maybe I also react stronger than others, as 1*300 mg capsule is alone too much for me to not feel slightly off that day.

Hi could you please tell us all (if you are comfortable) the reasons you did iboga and where you got it from? something doesnt sound right.

4 grams of rootbark. . . only 4 grams, and not of the HCL even, this is unbelievable.

could it be you were allergic to the rootbark, or perhaps you were extreemly sensitive to it?

there seems to be one or two puzzle pieces that are missing, and myself as well as others are really curious to know what those are!!!! :) sending out light and peaceful energy!! 8)

I don't know. Maybe I'm physically extremely sensitive to ibogaine or mentally extremely open to it? I can't tell. I don't seem to react very strongly to other medication, nor other drugs, but I have a very visual mind and people often tell me I seem "more alive" than others, so maybe it means I easily fall into the iboga world? I can't tell.

As for effects of my two main experiences:

First flood:
3 g IW TA at app. 60% gives 31 mg/kg ibogaine  (I puked a bit of it, though, after an hour)
Extremely dark, archaic, anxious, grotesque experience. After 7-8 hours I didn't anymore care if I lived or died. I as very happy I didn't know it would last for 25 hours.
Ataxia - couldn't get to toilet on my own, had to slide on the floor and needed help to get up on the toilet
Open eyes visuals - Very detailed hallucinations - the room was the same way throughout the whole experience - every time I opened my eyes
Close eyes visuals - I was "denied" visuals until I "let go of control", so I didn't have any until quite late. Instead I had extreme impressions in form of talking and "impact" or "imprints".
Sleep - I was more or less unconscious the first 3-4-5 hours. Then I couldn't sleep until after the hallucinations ended.

Second flood:
3.5-4.5 g IW root bark (unsure due to the provoked puking). Probably the equivalent of 6-8 mg/kg??
Very split mind, but more conscious control of how I experienced the things I saw and heard, and thus it was easier to learn how to have good times (unite the forces inside, haha)
Ataxia - but I could still get to toilet, even almost walk, without too much trouble
Open eyes visuals - The room was not AS distorted as last time. And people's faces did not change like last time. Also, there were no branches growing out of their heads. But there were patterns on the ceiling and walls, but not as fixed as last time.
Close eyes visuals - Also this time I was struggling to give up control, hearing I had to if I wanted to see life (visuals, too). But then I let it happen, and had very strong visuals for long. The last hours, the episodes were not very long, nor very useful, though. I think I was too exhausted, wanting to get back to normal again. This I experienced also the first time.
Sleep - I couldn't sleep all night, and I was more conscious than the first time, so I could understand better what I saw. I slept a bit in the afternoon, after about 17 hours, but I still hallucinated for a while after I woke up again.

Both times, I could talk fairly normal to people around me. Well, as normal as you can be said to be, when suddenly talking about love and peace and being all warm and caring, when normally you are kinda closed/guarded and somewhat hard/direct. :-)

9
Eboka Journals / Can this be?
« on: August 09, 2012, 05:05:21 PM »
I wanted to try a small dose of ibogaine, and ingested 4 grams of root bark. And ended up flooding as if I had had a full flood dose. I expected nothing but minor distortion of sight and maybe a bit of a headache, but ended up having an even better spiritual journey than on my 3 grams of IW TA.

The ataxia wasn't too bad this time, I could get to the toilet on my own, and I had no nausea like last time, but I had even clearer visions and they lasted for 22 hours. The depersonalization was horror like last time, ofc, but with more physical (and mental) control, I experienced less anxiety, and could enjoy myself and the world more, and the dark side of Ibogaine was not as present as last time (when I bad tripped for 25 hours). I will do it this way again later, too, no doubt. I seriously learned so much I can't believe it.

Peace and love.

10
Introductions / Re: Hi All
« on: July 31, 2012, 12:49:58 PM »
Hello, there!

I took Ibogaine for depression/being burned out, and with great results, so go for it!

I flooded on 3 g of Ibogaine TA (I'm 58 kg). I did puke some of it early on (an hour after the test dose of approximately 4-500 mg), but luckily I was able to keep the rest in. That means I had a dosage of something like 30+ mg/kg and I was heavily under. I don't think it's necessary to have as high a concentration, but the suggestion you have been given sounds good to me.

Over the past years, I have gathered quite a bit of information, and I have some thoughts about Ibogaine and depression, so just ask if you have any additional questions. I might be able to answer.

11
Eboka Talk / Re: Guidelines for Sitters
« on: July 09, 2012, 03:45:37 PM »
I would recommend a sitter that
- you know and trust
- you won't have a problem asking to help you get to the toilet...
- preferably knows quite a lot about ibogaine, and can guide you through the darkest parts if necessary
- can, if needed, once in a while walk over and just touch your hand lightly or otherwise let you know there's still a human reality out there, or who is comfortable guiding you and soothing you if you bad trip
- is service minded and will do what you want, preferably before you ask, and without questions (open the window when you get too hot, inform you that what you're hearing is the fan in the other room and not an airplane crashing into the building, give you water, wash the floor if you puke all over it, etc.)
- will stay awake and in the same room for at least 12 hours, in the same apartment and preferably awake for as long as the hallucinations last (app. 24 hours), and in the same apartment more or less all the time for as long as the trip lasts (2-3 days)

You might also want to ask the sitter to write a log with short notes on what happens, if anything happens, like at what hour you pulled off all your clothes in panic over the heated body, at what hour you puked if you did, at what hour you said something and what you said, at what hour you started being more awake, etc. It really does help the navigation of what you experienced and when.

12
Introductions / Re: Hi there!
« on: July 09, 2012, 03:20:04 PM »
Welcome to Eboka forums!

Thank you! :-)

And yes, I have changed permanently, too, in similar ways you explain, but I chose to see that as an effect of what I experienced and what I understood, rather than still being influenced by Ibogaine chemically. The last phase I talked about above, was what I guess is the nor-ibogaine breakdown process, that had an anti-depressive effect for 3 months where I was more one-minded. I noticed it passing slowly starting from 2 months after my flood dose. But yes, I didn't return to my normal problems, but I returned to my normal mind. Just a normal mind in a better state.

13
Introductions / Hi there!
« on: July 09, 2012, 02:54:22 PM »
I'm Norwegian, and first heard about Ibogaine from a friend in January 2011, when I was severely confused/unhappy with life, and finally found and did 3 g of Ibogaine TA (I'm 60 kg) in December 2011. I did it at home, with a friend as my sitter, and had - what I assume was - a rather rough first experience, as I bad tripped for about 12 hours before the trip turned lighter. I still had awesome insights and most of the bad effects were solved during the next 12-13 hours that the hallucinations lasted.

I remember reading that:
Quote from: wikipedia
The subjective experience of ibogaine is often divided into two phases: a vivid dreamlike hallucinogenic visual phase and an introspective phase (ostensibly the comedown).

I'd swear there were more phases, though:

phase 1: 12 hours - hallucinations and some sort of splitting of the mind - pretty rough/dark
phase 2: 12 hours - hallucinations and euphoria - pretty much fun (i talked with my salad)
phase 3: 20 hours - introspection
phase 4: 24 hours - depression
phase 5: 4 days - afterglow
phase 6: 3 months - some sort of one-mindedness (anti-depressant) that seemed to tune out one part of my brain (for better and worse)

During the first phase I could pretty much not do much but hang on.
During the second phase, I made drawings of what I had experienced in phase 1 + what I was still experiencing (I couldn 't really see what I was drawing for all the hallucination patterns on my sheet, but I drew the best I could)
During the third phase, I suddenly started understanding how the psyche and words reflect each other. I could vividly understand how everything people say impact them and me, and I normally don't see such things at all. I wrote a lot of pages about what I suddenly understood.
During the depression day, I just felt empty and longed for the awesome third phase, when the world and people were so open to me.
During the fifth phase, I reorganized my life, and established healthier patterns.
During the 6th phase, I started new projects and kept going.

After the 6th phase, I am thinking that the one-mindedness of that phase was both good and bad. Good cause of how I could focus and just keep going. Bad cause I didn't totally notice I wasn't my normal self until it slowly ended, and then I realized I could possibly have made some mistakes in judgement those months, cause of lacking half of myself, but I didn't really. I'll make sure to remind myself of this if I do ibogaine again.

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