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Messages - Tyler

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Eboka Talk / Re: Christian Ceremony in Gabon + Bwiti Sitter
« on: December 23, 2014, 10:06:07 PM »
Oh man. I knew I was doing something wrong when I wrote that stuff.

I just was watching a documentary about the tattooing practices of Samoa. They appear like a very honorable people ... do Bwiti value the same?

Eboka Talk / Re: Christian Ceremony in Gabon + Bwiti Sitter
« on: December 23, 2014, 04:07:20 PM »
Well, whatever.

I change my opinion ... because really, who am I to say if some tribe I have never been to would turn you away or not?

You know what, you have the means and you apparently have the will. So why not go and find out for yourself?

It sounds like a cool adventure to me. Wish I had the means myself, but I'm poor.

Eboka Talk / Re: Christian Ceremony in Gabon + Bwiti Sitter
« on: December 23, 2014, 12:07:15 PM »
Ok guys, lay off with the attacks.

Frankly if the OP goes to someplace or not ... that's their choice.

This thread has gotten into bullying and personal attacks now. How does that embody any kind of "open community mentality" to just act like tribesmen? We are being less civilised than actual tribes.

So I did the same thing in my post, I got offended, until I got some sense ... that's life and mistakes. But now call it off, eh? There's plenty of food for thought here to think about if he chooses ...

To the OP ... well, I wish I didn't get so angry. But obviously I can't change that now. I hope you figure out where you gotta go.

I wish you don't let all this "tribal rage" get you down ... heck, I feel now like you might actually have a blast. Maybe a difficult experience ... I'm kind of envious actually. I wish I could go to Gabon and participate in a trip like that, but I'm just poor and couldn't afford it. Poor in more ways than in my wallet.

I don't know why exactly ... I've never been there. But I never found Canada to be accepting or peaceful. Maybe those guys in Gabon are more peaceful ...

(Ugh, I editted my post so much that it doesn't resemble anything like my actual thoughts anymore :( I hate that but did it to myself.)

Eboka Talk / Re: Christian Ceremony in Gabon + Bwiti Sitter
« on: December 19, 2014, 02:17:24 PM »
I feel obligated to say my regrets to you for how I first reacted to your post. I was looking for anybody to target with my anger at the time. But that really was petty and small of me.

I can understand wanting to be in the care of somebody who knows what they are doing. Truly. But your approach is so demanding, so insistent that you deserve everything you demand just because you have the cash. That approach hardly works from my experience. And I guarantee they wont be swayed by the "mighty dollar".

You might be surprised what can happen if you open your eyes and ears a little bit to other ideas and ways. And keep in mind, being initiated into another religion means nothing if you don't let it. You decide moment to moment what you make a part of you and nobody can take that from you.

So you could find that by going in without demands, that you're actually already embodying the "spirit" of the very plant you're hoping to glean wisdom from.

Hope you figure out where you gotta go and your correct course of action. Strength to you man.

Eboka Talk / Re: Christian Ceremony in Gabon + Bwiti Sitter
« on: December 19, 2014, 10:09:24 AM »
It made me angry when I saw your post. I wanted to say something, to steer you away from doing it ... but you have to do it for yourself ... I guess.

Whatever you do, I hope you buy your return ticket in advance and have it handy with you, along with strong legs ... I have no idea, but with your outlook, and considering where you are going ... you might need those.

Eboka Talk / Re: Christian Ceremony in Gabon + Bwiti Sitter
« on: December 19, 2014, 09:56:11 AM »
... ???

Eboka Talk / Re: Introduction along with a couple questions
« on: December 14, 2014, 11:09:08 PM »
That Iboga House place sounds like a scam to me. I can't say why exactly ... when I originally wrote this post, I felt like I held it in my mind. But I had smoked weed earlier by that point, to get my mind relaxed and free. And I make a lot of bold claims then that aren't all the way at the stage of knowledge yet when I'm high, or just in general :P

But just as I'm living a bit by bit, I can say that all of the moments of "spiritual progress" I've made in my life so far, have always been free. Came from making mistakes, then thinking about them and trying to rectify them. Somehow progress just gets made when I do that. Bit by it.  So I'd be really wary of anybody who claims to offer shaman-style spiritual guidance in exchange for money.

I'm tempted to add more but feel I shouldn't. My experience is just in what I've wrote.

But I hope you get yourself free from drugs. One last thing I feel I can say ... is that drugs are a pit. Totally a pit. Addiction you know. But who knows what life holds when addiction is gone. Do we really need to be taught by some mystic man, or would life teach us everything we need to know, because we are finally free from the bondage of our vices?

Well that's just my question that I don't have the answer for myself yet. But it's possibly something to consider. (And guess I had some more to write after all.)

- T

Eboka Journals / Re: Finally flooded, more questions then answers
« on: December 13, 2014, 11:30:56 AM »
I am living bit by bit, day by day ... and I can say ... questions are good. In my opinion, it is better to have more questions than answers. Because answers are the final step, but questions are just the beginning of making something ... life, or something like that? Do you understand my meaning?

General Discussion / Re: Natural vs Synthetic: A Philosophical Dilemma
« on: October 09, 2014, 05:41:03 PM »
I can't say that I know anything about this topic.. but, that's really cool.

I kind of get what you mean. A lot of times, I just assert dominance over everything in my field of influence - I lie in a controlling position, leave a huge mess, and disregard everything around me. But the opposite to this, is I get super afraid, and feel like I want to curl up like a ball and punish myself for being so disgusting.

Maybe that is part of duality - I'm not sure.. I haven't used Iboga yet, because I'm afraid of what will happen because I don't have a sitter. (Edit: Actually, that's not true - my reason is because I am just too unmotivated in general to act. I am a compulsive liar still.)

But I really liked reading your post. I inspired me to pull my knees up, while I'm laying down in my bedroom.

General Discussion / question about the Gabonese method / ritual
« on: October 04, 2014, 01:27:02 PM »
does anybody know what is the ritual for people in Gabon who use this plant for spiritual purposes? like how much root bark they take over a certain period of time? i know that they don't have access to methods of extraction like we do in Western civilisation, to make TA or HCL extract. they use the root bark right? does anybody know their "protocol" for that, which works in their ritual?

and on that note, does anybody know of anybody in Canada or the USA who would offer to act as a spiritual guide?

Flooding / Re: Glow after the flood....
« on: September 24, 2014, 10:37:48 PM »
all i can say, is it is very good to use some of that time to reacquaint yourself with nature - but it is for sure not needed to do it with ibogaine.

when i go out into nature it is wonderful because the sunlight makes the grass and the weeds and the flowers bloom (glow) with life. when i see a path, i go down it and wonder where it will take me. if i encounter a path that is not trodden or off the trodden path or is simply new to me, i feel alive because i have an opportunity to go exploring, to see everything with childlike eyes full of wonder, and sometimes there is fear from the darkness of an unknown path, but then there is also joy from overcoming that obstacle. if my head tells me to go to a certain destination, whether across a river that i never would have considered crossing on my own or to follow an animal's call that i would have ignored had i heard it in the city, and i have courage, i go there so i can feel success at my accomplishment. then there can be some energy created from that success, that is pure and natural :)

Micro-Dosing / Re: iboga & coffee enema microdosing
« on: September 24, 2014, 07:20:48 PM »
i do not have a high opinion of coffee enemas.

at one point, i used them daily, even 4-5 times daily.
but that led to a new kind of addiction to caffeine, worse even than from drinking coffee.

and the whole withdrawal stage from it made me feel very low.

Eboka Talk / Re: Genesis Ibogaine
« on: September 13, 2014, 03:12:50 PM »
thanks for supplying that info, i want to keep it in mind for the future.

The Muse / Re: Hey Muse! What tunes are you jamming to these days?
« on: September 13, 2014, 02:04:18 PM »
ah sod it - this song is really special to me, so i want to share it

Träume von Herman van Veen                                                          Dreams by Herman van Veen

Du hast nichts verdient, und Du hast nicht Geburtstag,                    You deserve nothing, and you have no birthday,
Du hast auch schon alles, was man sich denkt.                                you have everything already that you think to yourself.
Und doch hab' ich noch eine kleine Überraschung:                           And yet I still have a small surprise:
Du bekommst heut' von mir meine Träume geschenkt.                     You receive a gift today from out of my dreams.

Träume, die keimen im Schatten des Innern,                                    Dreams that germinate in the shadow of the interior,
entstanden aus Freude, aus Glück und aus Pein.                             grow out of happiness, out of joy, and out of pain.
Ein Funken Verlangen - ein Teil unseres Ichs,                                   A spark of desire - a part of our ego,
den einzugesteh'n wir uns selten verzeih'n.                                     to admit we rarely forgive.

Ein Traum für ein Kind, das nur darum zur Welt kam,                        A dream for a child, that only just came out into the world,
weil seine Eltern sich einmal versah'n,                                              because his parents knew it once,
das groß wird und lernt, daß die Arbeit das Höchste,                        that which is great is learned, that the work is the key,
und vor lauter Arbeit gar nichts andres mehr kann.                          and before pure work nothing else more can be.

Träume für einen, der nachts mit dem Schlaf ringt;                           Dreams for someone who struggles with sleep in the night;
ein Traum für den Mann, der sein Leben geweiht,                            a dream for the man who dedicated his life,
im Wettstreit der Erste, der Beste zu werden,                                  in the contest to be the first to become the best,
der alles schon hat, bis auf ein bißchen Zeit.                                     who has everything already, except a bit of time.
Zeit für den Haselnußstrauch, früh im Frühjahr -                               Time for the hazelnut schrub, early in the spring -
ein lichtgrüner Traum von einem blühenden Baum!                           a light green dream of a flowering tree!
Träume wie Tau auf feuerroten Äpfeln,                                              Dreams like dew on fire-red apples,
wie bebende Küken im flauschigen Flaum.                                         like trembling chicks in their fluffy fluff.

Du hast nichts verdient, und Du hast nicht Geburtstag,                     You deserve nothing, and you have no birthday,
Du hast auch schon alles, was man sich denkt.                                  you have everything already that you think to yourself.
Ein Tag wie ein Zweig auf dem Tisch in der Vase.                               A day like a twig on the table in the vase.
Uns're Umarmung - ist das kein Geschenk?                                        Our embrace - is that not a gift?

it's a really pretty song and it always helps me when i'm going through a rough patch, to remember the lyrics. i don't know a lot of German so my translation might not be totally accurate, but it should be pretty accurate, since i had the help of google translate.

The Muse / Re: Hey Muse! What tunes are you jamming to these days?
« on: September 09, 2014, 07:33:59 PM »
lol, jamming. hm... dunno about that one, i'll jam to whatever's playing usually.

celtic woman used to be my go-to band, but my go-to bands tended to mix around a lot, like in a big never-ending circle. so for a while i would listen to upbeat music and for a while i would listen to depressing music. not really because i craved being euphoric or depressed, although as a teenager i was super angsty lol. there's just something about having a mix of both that feels right to me somehow. i'd even cycle between very "innocent" music like Disney tunes, and then go and listen to some more "mature" stuff, since it felt good in the bigger scheme of things to have a balance and to never be too one-sided (ie. all innocent / euphoric songs or all "mature" / depressing songs). i put mature in quotes since it's all relative.

but lately i am listening to a lot of classical music, that helps to motivate me so much at work. it is not a preference thing that makes it special since during my free time i would prefer to listen to something more emm... you know, "real", with some more modern and authentic feelings expressed? but something about the harmoniousness of it, the classical music, makes me feel like i am structured while working into the great tapestry of life - and it definitely takes the weariness for me out of pushing a broom around or lifting heavy boxes all day.

but def an amazing artist to me is Herman van Veen.

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