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Topics - samyama

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Micro-Dosing / iboga & coffee enema microdosing
« on: September 24, 2014, 07:27:36 AM »
Hi there,

because oral microdosing has some problems down here, I started to do microdose enemas. And since I was doing coffee enemas I tried to combine both, see what how that went.

Times I did this combo now were very rewarding. Not only did I feel the iboga for the whole day when done in the morning, also the coffee seemed to be boosted by the iboga, resulting in a thorough cleanse.

The recipe is boil iboga rootbark with a little acid for 2 times of 1 hour. Then evaporate till it's between 500 ml and 1 liter, anything that will enable you to dose it carefully. I make a solution of 10 grams on 500 ml water...

The whole mix consists of 3 or 4 tablespoons black coffee, a pinch of celtic sea salt and the iboga solution. When I add the iboga, take about 1 gram and it's important to keep in mind that done this way you need less for the same effect.

When done in the morning with 1 gram iboga solution, it will last the whole day.

Eboka Talk / Iboga water infusion, hot or cold with or without acid?
« on: July 16, 2014, 07:03:02 AM »
The topic title more or less covers the question here. What's the best way to prepare a water infusion of iboga? I already tried the ayahuasca cooking method on it. So cooking it with a little acid for a few hours, then boiling it down to a concentration.

But I am wondering if this causes loss of alkaloids and if I should try cold water infusion instead, or maybe first cold water then boiling and very gently evaporate water...

Also if tannines can be removed with egg white filtration.

Anyone done this before?

Eboka Talk / breathing troubles / low energy iboga
« on: July 10, 2014, 11:19:05 AM »
Hi there,

recently I did a flood and the place was a bit dusty. After about 14 grams I couldn't breathe anymore through my nostrils. Because of that I had to stop taking more and had some difficulty with breathing. Had to breathe through my mouth for quite some time. Afterwards this subsided, but I still wonder if the iboga actually made the nostrils close down.

Besides that I'm very low on energy now. When I lay down and get up I usually need to go under the shower to get a bit liveliness back into the limbs. I want to lay down and sleep on top of nights one to two hours during day. Microdosing seems to encourage this, but I have to test by stopping it for a few days..

Anybody has some comment to this?

General Discussion / small talk topic
« on: May 11, 2013, 09:06:20 AM »
Man! Gonna have a smalltalk topic here. Basically you can drop *anything* here. The stuff that you want to say, from the heart, but doesn't need a new topic... So just don't preach. That's it.

Eboka Talk / CYP2D6 metabolites
« on: April 24, 2013, 09:30:15 AM »
Hi, this topic wanted to start for a long time. Take a look at this:

The arrow is CYP2D6. It is the enzyme that forms nor-ibogaine out of ibogaine.

What is CYP2D6?

Cytochrome P450 2D6 (CYP2D6), a member of the cytochrome P450 mixed-function oxidase system, is one of the most important enzymes involved in the metabolism of xenobiotics in the body. Also, many substances are bioactivated by CYP2D6 to form their active compounds. While CYP2D6 is involved in the oxidation of a wide range of substrates of all the CYPs, there is considerable variability in its expression in the liver. The gene is located near two cytochrome P450 pseudogenes on chromosome 22q13.1. Alternatively spliced transcript variants encoding different isoforms have been found for this gene.

CYP2D6 shows the largest phenotypical variability among the CYPs, largely due to genetic polymorphism. The genotype accounts for normal, reduced, and non-existent CYP2D6 function in subjects.

The CYP2D6 function in any particular subject may be described as one of the following:

* poor metaboliser–these subjects have little or no CYP2D6 function
* intermediate metabolizers–these subjects metabolize drugs at a rate somewhere between the poor and extensive metabolizers
* extensive metaboliser–these subjects have normal CYP2D6 function
* ultrarapid metaboliser–these subjects have multiple copies of the CYP2D6 gene expressed, and therefore greater-than-normal CYP2D6 function

A patient's CYP2D6 phenotype is often clinically determined via the administration of debrisoquine (a selective CYP2D6 substrate) and subsequent plasma concentration assay of the debrisoquine metabolite (4-hydroxydebrisoquine).

CYP2D6 activity was tested in "healthy infants receiving an oral dose (0.3 mg/kg) of dextromethorphan (DM) at 0.5, 1, 2, 4, 6, and 12 months of age. DM and its major metabolites were measured in urine. CYP2D6 genotype was determined by polymerase chain reaction-restriction fragment length polymorphism. Genotyping data indicated a strong correlation between CYP2D6 genotype and DM O-demethylation (beta=-0.638; 95% CI: -0.745, -0.532; P<0.001). CYP2D6 activity was detectable and concordant with genotype by 2 weeks of age, showed no relationship with gestational age, and did not change with post natal age up to 1 year. In contrast, DM N-demethylation developed significantly more slowly over the first year of life. Genotype and the temporal acquisition of drug biotransformation are critical determinants of a drug response in infants."[2]

The type of CYP2D6 function of an individual may influence the person's response to different doses of drugs that CYP2D6 metabolizes. The nature of the effect on the drug response depends not only on the type of CYP2D6 function, but also on the extent to which processing of the drug by CYP2D6 results in a chemical that has an effect that is similar, stronger, or weaker than the original drug, or no effect at all. For example, if CYP2D6 converts a drug that has a strong effect into a substance that has a weaker effect, then poor metabolizers (weak CYP2D6 function) will have an exaggerated response to the drug and stronger side-effects; conversely, if CYP2D6 converts a different drug into a substance that has a greater effect than its parent chemical, then extensive metabolizers (strong CYP2D6 function) will have an exaggerated response to the drug and stronger side-effects.

So this basically says different people react different to certain alkaloids, depending on the prevalence of CYP2D6.

The product of ibogaine O-demethylation, 12-hydroxyibogamine, has been demonstrated to possess pharmacologic activity. In vitro radioligand binding assays conducted to identify the potency and selectivity profiles for ibogaine and 12-hydroxyibogamine have demonstrated that the metabolite has a binding profile that is similar, but not identical to, the parent drug (Pablo and Mash, 1998; Staley et al., 1996). 12-Hydroxyibogamine demonstrated the highest potency values at the cocaine recognition site on the serotonin transporter (Mash et al., 1995a; Staleyet al., 1996). Ibogaine and 12-hydroxyibogamine were equipotent at vesicular monoamine and dopamine transporters, whereas the metabolite demonstrated higher affinity at the kappa-1 and mu opioid receptors and lower affinity at the NMDA receptor complex (Mashet al., 1995b; Pablo and Mash, 1998; Staley et al., 1996). The desmethyl metabolite has been shown recently to be a full agonist at the mu opioid receptor (Pablo and Mash, 199. Thein vivo activity of the metabolite as a full mu agonist may explain the ability of ibogaine to block the acute signs of opiate withdrawal in humans and its suppressive effects on morphine self-administration in rodents. Because the precise mix of molecular targets important for the anti-addictive effects are not definitively known, the relative contributions of ibogaine and 12-hydroxyibogamine to the actions of ibogaine in vivo has yet to be well established at the biochemical level. However, because CYP2D6 has been demonstrated to be present in the brain (Tyndale et al., 1991), it is compelling to hypothesize that some or all of the CNS activity of ibogaine may be the result of 12-hydroxyibogamine generated in situ in the brain. (Such a hypothesis also exists for the CYP2D6-catalyzed metabolism of codeine to the active metabolite morphine [Sindrup et al., 1996]). This effect would have important implications for the pharmacological activity of ibogaine in CYP2D6 extensive and poor metabolizers. Regardless of this hypothesis, the evidence presented in this report suggest that the CYP2D6 phenotype may prove to be an important determinant in the clinical pharmacology of ibogaine and that it may be necessary to determine CYP2D6 metabolizer status in subjects administered this compound.

Thein vivo activity of the metabolite as a full mu agonist may explain the ability of ibogaine to block the acute signs of opiate withdrawal in humans and its suppressive effects on morphine self-administration in rodents.

This is why people break their addiction with Iboga and ibogaine. It depends on the expression of Cytochrome P450 2D6.

Approximately 5–10% of Caucasians lack a functional copy of the CYP2D6 gene and hence lack the enzyme. Such individuals are termed poor metabolizers, owing to their decreased capacity to metabolize and clear CYP2D6 substrates. Such individuals are often subject to a higher incidence of adverse drug reactions due to elevated drug concentrations. Also, for drugs that require CYP2D6-catalyzed bioactivation to a pharmacologically active metabolite (e.g. codeine ? morphine), efficacy can be reduced in poor metabolizer subjects.]Approximately 5–10% of Caucasians lack a functional copy of the CYP2D6 gene and hence lack the enzyme. Such individuals are termed poor metabolizers, owing to their decreased capacity to metabolize and clear CYP2D6 substrates. Such individuals are often subject to a higher incidence of adverse drug reactions due to elevated drug concentrations. Also, for drugs that require CYP2D6-catalyzed bioactivation to a pharmacologically active metabolite (e.g. codeine ? morphine), efficacy can be reduced in poor metabolizer subjects.

A quite large portion of Caucasians will not be able to get off opiates, or other severe addictions with the use of it. This is because of the partial of total absence of CYP2D6.

But a lot of opiates only work when CYP2D6 is present enough. That may explain why the portion of addicts not being able to break their addiction is probably lower than 5 to 10 %.

I conclude that more information is neccessary. CYP2D6 has a major role in the mechanism of Iboga's ability to break addictions.

The Muse / Dune - Frank Herbert
« on: April 12, 2013, 02:37:53 PM »
After doing a flood I found myself reading some of Herbert's Dune books again. There's so much in there that resonates with the things Iboga shows. Especially the later novels, like Heretics of Dune and Chapterhouse are so rich in thinking that makes me think that Herbert did Iboga himself.

Those things about mental projections and patterns, then the memories of ancestors and the like. The way subconscious relates to the conscious and how one can interact between those. It's all there in those novels.

The man was really a visionary and I have to say it's only now I get into the deeper stuff he wrote. So I post it in hopes somebody has found a same affinity and we can have a discussion about it. (reading helps when getting down from a flood)


General Discussion / Troublesome life coming back after Iboga
« on: March 21, 2013, 02:51:01 PM »

I want to try to adress some problems here. The intent is to find someway of dealing with them in whatever way. I will speak for myself but do not want to restrict the topic to this.

It's been almost 4 weeks now after the flood and I'm starting to notice how issues re-emerge. It's not that I expected a miracle cure, but before I was totally desperate and after I can't allow this to return the way it was.
In my floodreport I described most of the issues,

The general pattern is life saying NO all the time. In terms of a place to live, relationships, education, job and health. Everytime I attempt at something is 'NO'. I keep getting stuck at having to solve it all by myself were I feel it's too much and I need some help.

For example: I have been having this shoulder ache for almost 15 years now. Did a lot of therapies to relieve it. A week ago I managed to get a MRI scan. That was absolutely the most painful thing to ly down on my shoulder like that, and the results were nada - nothing found at all. So they tell me 'we can't help you with this'. I'm back to square one, needing to find yet another therapists in some sort to find relief for this nagging shoulder.

My previous home was when I studied philosophy. When I got to be the oldest resident and took new people in, suddenly I got these bills from the taxservice claiming a few thousand euros for the previous years. I won't explain the details, but there was nothing I could do to prevent it. I did have to solve it though and it took 3 years, a lot of money and cost me my study. Here also the answer was 'this is some quirk in the legislations, we can't help you - you're on your own'. I did find some help though, but it cost me dearly.

My current home is plagued by people who are somekind of tommyknockers or poltergeists. It's a crazy thing here, people bang hammers on metal heating conduits in the night. Sleeping is awful. I too did adress these (and other problems) with the company that rents it. Guess what? Because of the laws they couldn't act against those crazy dudes. So here I am and I didn't chose it - I had to take this home given my previous home.

And then there isn't a job. Because of the tax issues my study failed and subsequently all employers reject my application because on paper I do not look so good. I've been at this for 4 years now and just getting no-no-NO all the time is a torture game.

So that's the pattern I see all the time. There are small things as well. Synchronities all over. It doesn't feel right. I can only speak for myself, but I have this bad bad feeling all the time. And this has been going on for almost 12 years now.

Well the worst part about is not being able to talk about it. People usually don't want to hear or don't want to understand. It is too much. But I need them. I feel so isolated, so cast away. But talking about it only draws them further away.

For three weeks now it was a lot better. I didn't feel that daily resentment to this life. (I usually have to work myself to get over it every day.) But it's coming back and I would love to do something with my life. I'm 30 now and haven't done anything I feel worthwhile. Just spilling my life energy on things that are so useless. I would love to travel for instance, never been able to do that ever.

Are these normal issues? How does this sound to you? Is there anything you would advice?

I feel this is a very important thing to adress since problems don't evaporate not even after Iboga.

Eboka Talk / Iboga: The Visionary Root of African Shamanism
« on: March 05, 2013, 01:45:00 PM »
A spin off from this topic:

We're discussing this book:

It contains a load of information. About Bwiti rituals, Iboga pharmacology, how it became known and much more. One of the chapters discusses a fact about some caucasians missing a neccessary enzyme for to metabolize ibogaine.

Also - it'd be real cool if you could find a link to the book or essays, or even just the name of it - I knew a small % of humans had this potential lack of whatever enzyme or apparatus needed for the session to work, but 5 - 10 %  seems awful high, like to learn more about that for sure.

Iboga: The Visionary Root of African Shamanism
by Vicent Ravalec, Mellendi, and Agnès Paicheler

Quote from: lalababa
Very Good Book, that is where I read it too... someone borrowed it from me so I couldn't look up what % they had said.  It does seem a little high though, I think if it were that high, more folks would have no luck using it as treatment.  Hmmm.  possibly these same 5%-10% would not be addicts or seeking it for some reason.

I will look up this footnote when I get to it. Still have to finish the last chapter of this very good book.

Eboka Journals / flooding the gates
« on: February 27, 2013, 02:27:49 PM »
A friend of mine does Ibgoa session at his home and I stayed there from saturday till monday. I took around 14 gram of dried rootbark and did Kambo beforehand.

I came to doing this becuase my life was going not that well. Things had been that way for so long. In short: When I was young people ignored and didn't like me at all. I was different and they let me know. Also I had bad luck all the time that combined with lack of friends and comfort (except my family and some weirdos just like me).
When I moved out and went to study, both study and finding my own place became somehow impossible: I had the one failure after another and ran in conflict situations all the time. Worst of all nobody understood anything of me and I felt so isolated.
Hated myself and for years I beat myself up - cursed myself just out of this hate. Something deep down drove me to this madness and said 'you see, this reality hates you and shows you all the time'. And yes I ran into bad company, bad coïndidences all the time. Never got to travel anywhere, do a vacation or go to a festival for the last 10 years.
Things got worse and worse and I had trouble with everything. Couldn't sleep no single night and was so full of expecting only failure, pain and misery. Though I tried to be positive and make friends. With a lot of patience I did manage to get some richness in my life. But the shadow of all this darkness was so strong and I felt myself slipping away.
Last few months things intensified even more. I had bad synchronities all the time. Everytime I couldn't use this or that situation, I ran into it. Believe it or not, but things were badly out of control. My home was hell, neighbours knocking around like poltergeists all the time (this is a story in itself). Such bad energies there. And also, it was in me so deep down, resonating and preventing me doing anything right. Making an appointment in the morning? Meant I wouldn't be able to sleep all night. Feeling well? Just that moment someone trashed his living room next to me. Etc.
And I just kept going on. Hoping I would get older and older and finally die. But I also worked meticulously on what I could achieve: yoga, tai ji, meditation and finding out ancestry. Basically fortifying my mind, work out my make-up and preserve vitality for if I would ever be able to get out of this hell.

Okay enough of this, back to the ritual:

After doing Kambo which went very well (puking a nice amount of bile) I downed the first spoon around 8 'o clock in the evening. From there on it was one spoon every hour. They contained about 1 to 1.3 grams each. The first 8 of them went uninterrupted. Then I got nauseaus and didn't want to throw up because a) we didn't have a plan B and b) that wouldn't be something I looked forward to ;). So I took it easy and managed to take 4 more spoons on sunday evening, which down went well.

I started to feel it very soon and was easing on the sofa till it got heavy. Then I went lying on a bed. Listening to a lot of Bwiti and Pygmy music all the time and let it get hold of me. Very soon I started to see some visuals. A lot of lines entangling and somewhat 'crooked'. It was very interesting to see those peculiar visuals, much unlike the clean geometry of ayahuasca this was very different. Also there was this thing were rhythms became very loose and shifting, like ladders were move constantly one half step up or down.

Anyway it got dark very soon. I felt this very hard weight crushing down on me. But at the same time my mind stared to 'expand'. Like the backdrop against which thoughts were projected opened up and I could see behind them. Thinking things beyond thoughts.
Ancestry was one of the first things I took a look at. Tracing lines of my mother and father's line. This I had tried before so many times and I was amazed of how well I had done it without Iboga. Now I could see much further though. But the darkness that was so crushing prevented me from going really really deep (which I wanted to do very much). There were more pressing things.

I saw Iboga's spirit very soon. Wearing a black mask and in ritual costume. It was in the dark a bit. Got to communicate with it and decided to do this together. I asked if the crooked visuals were typically Iboga and the answer was this just worked and that was that. Though it showed me some other styles for a moment. I was amazed. But Iboga had some amazement as well, this thing with my mind it seemed. It had capabilites like Iboga of it's own, just not so well as Iboga and I already did a lot of work on my own.

So we started to shed light on every thing in my brain to see what was going on there. First step was something like putting all arriving and departing flights on pending. Like the announcement board in the main terminal of an airpost. All goes on pending for all flights. No one was going in or out. We needed to find some serious bugs or errors that needed fixing. It was dead serious here.
I felt very bad and had so many nagging questions. Most of them concerned this long stream of bad coïncidences that had been vexing me all my life thusfar. How did it came so far that I saw myself as one pile of failure and errors. Went through many many memories of things that happened. It was hell here, not fun at all to keep it going while feeling so terrible.
But I wondered how did my mind coped with it? These coïncidings were not logical at all and yet still I could wrap my mind about both mystical and bonedry sceptic logic. It was like mind was a zipper, at the bottom some loose ends but upward becoming tighly interwoven. That was how I could accept mystic as well as science without conflict. Or better said, that was how metaphors were emploted. Next Iboga showed me some mind tricks, how to look beyond through the projection screen. This was so interesting, a psychedelic teaching me how to think in more advanced ways.  8)

Family ties, people who had been support to me in the past, they all passed by and I saw much of what had set me off to become who I am now. How my grandparents met each other in the past. How their characterictics were represented in me. How I got lefthanded and how it was linked to the way my brain worked. Who had similar talents like me in the family etc.
Some things I already knew, like from which line I had this very bad amount of karma, grief and despair. The maternal line was heavily polluted and one of my ancestors was murdered in his lifetime. All of this caused so much turmoil and for some reason it came crushing down on me. We went to work this further out, find out the ties that needed to be severed or corrected.

After 8 spoons I got nauseaus. It was so painful. Never had such pains in my life. I lay there on this bed feeling so very bad. Also I felt it couldn't go further anymore. It was too much, but I wanted to persist so badly. Hoping that the nausea would pass and I could continu downing spoons.
Just to let you know, when we started I was so absolutely insecure, I told my friend that I was going to take one spoon and then see how it went before deciding on the next spoon. Scared to the bone and no confidence at all, that was how I started that evening. That went on for most of the time, and every spoon I felt like that. But I just did it, persist even if you don't know what good or bad anymore.

I kept fighting all this time to keep it going. To see how this murdered ancestor related to me. His line seemed to be of Baltic origin. There was tremendous willpower there, also intelligence. Yes good things to work with, just it was all blocked in shame, doubt, grief and despair. How this got even more so by the hasty life of my parents. Me being somewhere I liked, but then they took me off again to somewhere else. They were good parents though, they considered their duty to fulfill it whatever the price.
Both of them come from this place that is so loaded with untold histories, locked up spirits and darkness to the bone. No wonder there are so many churches and christian sects there. How did I managed not to get locked up in some fantasie of religious belief there? Wonders of life, it seems it spared me that one.

I had some food and later my sitter went to sleep since I didn't want to take more spoons for now. Time went fast and at the same time I was in this timeless space. Very different than ayahuasca. And though feeling so very very bad, I was at ease somehow and up to the task, together with Iboga. Though I was a bit hostile at times. However our coöperation was very fine and felt like for the first time there was someone who really understood what I was made of.

In the morning things started to clear up a little and I felt a bit sad because somehow I couldn't find the key we were looking for. Iboga decided to get really into it, to delve even deeper and not to keep any stone unturned. I tried to get able for ingesting more spoons. Ate something as well and the nausea started to pass away. Yes finally I was able to take some more and in the afternoon I did 2 spoons in one hour.
Things got dark quickly again and I layed down the bed again. A lot went passing by. I saw much visual things, but not yet the clear visions. Actually I found out my father's line has this tendency to have very visual brains. Connected with this is left handedness and I saw other family members who might have this as well. Also my brain hadn't matured yet to it's fullest capabilities (I am 30 now). This was part of the solution.

Next my friend set his room up for a dance. Around some candlelights, hehe no indoor campfire. It went okay, but then his housemate came complaining, he was very disturbed. I saw him and realized he was haunted as well. Already knew that he had lot's of bad incidents in his life as well and I saw that on him. Finally I saw others with similar problems.
During the dance I took two more spoons and nausea didn't came back that bad. I still felt bad though, dark and still in despair on how I was going to break this lifelong curse that had been going on. At the end I didn't know if that was going to happen at all or that this chaos was going to pass for the more clear spiritual introspection. In a hunch I put on a song of long ago and then -yes- finally I started to feel something good at last. Iboga presented me a solution that was so bizarre, I don't still don't know what to make of it, but here goes: Something like a seacontainer, hermetically sealed was installed in my system, tucked away between all valves and machinery, impossible to find for me. It was connected by a chain that first went to the other side of the universe and all the way back to make sure I coudn't possibly trace it. In it were 'people' that very so despaired and in grief of being locked up in that place for almost the eternity. Their despair and the absolute long chain back and forth prompted all these bizarre and bad coïncidences, as that was how reality was trying to fix this. It seemed the most mean and unempathically someone could do and someone had set me up for this. Okay  :P, yes that was what Iboga presented to me, since it was traced this chain all the way to the edge of the universe and back. But it said I would be able to do it on my own, just that would take the greater part of my lifetime. But now it was done and these souls were released. Finally some valve sprung open and energies that had been stagnant for so long started to flow and I could cry at last (something I could never get done no matter how bad I felt).

In the end I saw how this was connected to a incident when I was 13: Then I had a fever and dreamt I was in this infinite puzzle I needed to solve all alone, but I realized this was an impossible task. That had been such a traumatic event, cause I couldn't wake from the dream. My parents found me that night in the living room sitting totally distressed in this half dream/ wake state. That had been with me all that time. Somehow it got me stuck in a loop.

I layed down again, but now there was bliss and had some light visions. But I hadn't take enough Iboga for the full visions. Though I did went off to see depths of the universe. I felt like I wanted to a Iboga session again soon. Not all work had been done.
Next I spent the whole night reading a book on Iboga. Totally reading it from begin to end. Next morning I went home feeling a bit clumsy and shaky. Reborn.

I had to attend my brother's girlfriend birthday and didn't knew if I was up to that, but it went allright. Nobody noticed I was still tripping out  ;D, When I went to sleep later that night it didn't work out. Kept lying awake, and what was that light all the time? All lights in my room were off, but I kept seeing a light. It was in my head! I saw with my pineal gland or something.
Still had visuals and I tried to get to the visions, but that was too much. But some more refined answer to my questions came in: I had been totally without any selfconfidence or trust and that was one major thing to work on.

Melatonin got me to sleep finally.

note: the book on Iboga is this one: Iboga: The Visionary Root of African Shamanism
by Vicent Ravalec, Mellendi, and Agnès Paicheler

Introductions / at last
« on: February 26, 2013, 09:27:19 AM »
hi there, I'm Samyama. In the coming time I will be visiting a lot here I guess.

Last weekend I did a flood, finally. It was a massive ordeal. In terms of what preceded it and what it caused.

Guess this doesn't sound too unfamiliar, but I'd lost all hopes and confidence in both myself and the world I live in. The only thing remaining was this drive to persist even though I was totally in the dark and how this could possibly be something worthwhile.

This had been the case for many years and as so many I too was on some drugs, but that wasn't too bad. Recently I came in the habit of chewing coca leaves and for some longer (10 years or so) smoke 4 to 8 joints a day. And psychedelics... through the years I grew into being a plantman. I don't like rc's or meds, though I did do some LSD and 2C-B etc. Also I am using melatonin regularly.

Well try too keep it to introduction  :). I like yoga, tai ji and everyting that is in tune with as above as below and all other methods of holistic thinking and being connected. That always has been the case. Also I have thing with my mind that it already has some skill in the things Iboga potentiates. There's much more to say but I try to keep it basic.

Anyway I am grateful to have made it this far. Especially last few days were so very hard. Maybe later today I'm going to write a full report what happened thusfar. I need some help since there were many problems.

Technical problems. Starting with the metabolization of ibogaine. I came to observe this wasn't happening with me. This caused this thing that the proces kept stagnating. It needed very bumpy pushes and much much attention from my side since.

Especially the going to sleep finally was so very very hard. I hadn't slept since saturday (only one hour of so on monday) and monday evening (yesterday) sleep also didn't come. I only slept late this morning for a few hours and this took about 5 mg of melatonin in the end. I was very distressed it came so far.
Also I couldn't get over the cravings for marihuana and smoked (natural) tobacco as well. A little coca  I tried as well. All of this I reasoned out very carefully as to being catalysts since the proces was halting and grinding and I didn't know what to do. But I also had to carefully monitor my heart rate since everyting was out of control. I just tried to release as many pressure as I could and in the end I woke up today feeling very relieved and thankful for this having gone not too awry.

So I hope this place helps in the time to come to get accustomed to the new outlook I'm hoping to set up in my head.


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