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Topics - Tyler

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General Discussion / question about the Gabonese method / ritual
« on: October 04, 2014, 01:27:02 PM »
does anybody know what is the ritual for people in Gabon who use this plant for spiritual purposes? like how much root bark they take over a certain period of time? i know that they don't have access to methods of extraction like we do in Western civilisation, to make TA or HCL extract. they use the root bark right? does anybody know their "protocol" for that, which works in their ritual?

and on that note, does anybody know of anybody in Canada or the USA who would offer to act as a spiritual guide?

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Compost Pile / Re: Hey Muse! What tunes are you jamming to these days?
« on: September 07, 2014, 02:23:46 PM »
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Flooding / preventing sudden death
« on: August 25, 2014, 12:16:26 PM »
what do i need for a flood dose to help protect my heart? is there a medicine to help protect against cardiac problems?

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i just read this post: http://eboka.info/index.php?topic=294.msg2616
it has some very interesting ideas.

but it makes me wonder about ibogaine, and where it fits onto that proposed "circuit model". if it is true that the "higher circuits" are only sturdy when built on a strong foundation of the "lower circuits", what function does iboga play in this configuration? by that, i mean which "circuit" does iboga activate, and how does the "higher circuit", when activated by ibogaine, interact with the "foundation circuits"?

do not concern yourself to give an academic answer. and i ask for information from the people that have used it only, who have some practical, real-life experience in the matter.

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Eboka Talk / I am an addict.
« on: May 29, 2014, 03:59:49 PM »
Can a mod delete this? I just want to take it down because convictions aside, what I wrote sounds a lot like the 12-step program, and I don't want to be responsible for somebody relapsing due to my convictions if they happen to be completely wrong.

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Eboka Talk / Kind of dumb...
« on: May 22, 2014, 02:59:56 PM »
So kind of a dumb thing... I was at home today, as I am everyday, with nothing going on, and randomly I decided to take Ibogaine TA that I had stored in my closet. I think it was only somewhere in the range of 200 - 300 mg, just a tiny dose. I don't feel stimulated or anything like that, just physically weak, and red. My skin tone is a bit red naturally, and it is not tomato red or anything, but it is redder and feels sort of like my head is clogged - like that feeling you get when your sinuses are blocked. I do not always associate with my body, though, so maybe that is why I feel the sinus feeling which is maybe always there, only I never noticed it.

My eyes are bloodshot too, so I'm kind of nervous that my family will think something is up, although they all know I used to smoke weed on a daily basis.

Has anybody else ever experienced this sort of red-face thing?

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Eboka Talk / How can I find a sitter?
« on: May 02, 2014, 02:54:09 PM »
So the day in which I will open myself to Iboga draws closer. I wake to my surroundings from time to time, and see them - they are beautiful and awe inspiring, but their immensity fills me with timorousness and trepidtation. I awaken to a world that is foreign and incomprehensible to me.

I have asked my mom to be my sitter, but in my heart I know this is wrong - we have too much history, and there is too much that I want to say, that I know I would only freeze up in terror of the truth, when it all comes pouring in, if we were together. We sat together recently once, beside each other in the dark. I was high. It was cannabis. And I saw her through the periphery of my vision - her face, her palid face, trapped in silence. It was the most heart-wrenching experience of my entire life. No thoughts came to me, no emotions welled up to the surface - just silence, complete and harrowing silence.

I wanted to scream.

So I know I cannot ask her to be my sitter, but the day will come when my feelings pour out toward her - when I can hold her aging shoulders in my arms, and tell her that I love her and then I know that I will laugh again, I will be me again, and the stony coldness around my heart will warm and soften. I dare not speak it now, because in my heart I know it is not true - though I see glimpses of the love, mostly in my dreams. But during my waking hours, it is all buried under hatred and bitterness, that rear their ugly head when she opens her mouth and stress-induced frustration comes out. I want her to be silent, so I am silent. And the bitterness stays put.

But for me, I have no friends, because I have been a terrible friend. No wise ones are in my life, that I would trust to put my life in their hands. How can I find a sitter who can act as my guide?

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Compost Pile / Hi Eboka group
« on: April 10, 2014, 02:27:39 PM »
Hi all :)

It's nice to be here. My name is Tyler. I'm a student and a general labourer, living with my family in Ontario (southern part of Canada).

I found out about Iboga on another forum that I frequented some months back, and ever since I have wanted to experience it for myself.

I know of Iboga's reputation as an addiction-stopping substance, and while I myself only had a 2-year addiction with marijuana, it saddens me to imagine the struggles some of you are dealing with. I hope that you find the solution that you seek.

But for my own part, I am not completely foreign to addiction, if only in a lesser intensity, so I know some of the mental challenges involved, even though I am fortunate enough to have not had to live through the physical symptoms of withdrawal.

Friendly regards,
Tyler

P.S. Now having been compelled to read what another has posted, I feel like I should open up and share what is inside of me, and not just on the surface. The truth is that I do not know what I want to gain from this plant teacher. My innocence, perhaps - to breathe it again, before I allowed myself to become the kind of person who is too timorous to speak his mind, or who became willing to prostrate myself for the cheap attention that I received from others, or who became willing to agree with any ignorant-minded individual for the sake of outward appearances. The kind of person who rejected human contact in exchange for indecent cybersex encounters. The truth is that I am afraid it will all be denied to me, that is the wisdom that Iboga can bring, because I have offended too many laws of life... I am afraid that it will make me writhe in agony, but if it is cathartic and it allows me to start my learning again from the ground up, then... well, that is where it ends, or possibly begins - I don't know. Even now I feel the subconscious desire for validation (as opposed to recognition) like a sick poison corrupting my ability to breathe and making me fear every word and thought that comes into my head, and I cannot navigate my way away from it in this moment, because it is so deep-reaching that it nearly runs to my core.

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