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Topics - GratefulDad

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General Discussion / Ibogaine death! It happened to me!
« on: July 21, 2015, 01:47:57 PM »
I don' know what else I can tell but I took ibogaine and my heart stopped and I was dead for 35 minutes with no oxygen to my brain which destroyed my basal ganglia.  It has a lot to do with motor function so I now have Parkinson's symptoms and balance issues.  I also fell and shattered my femur and while in therapy broke my right hip just standing on it which also happened to my left hip after my coma.  From the methadone they put me on in my coma. Apparently it causes osteoporosis and weakened my bones from being in a coma for 40 days..  I don't remember anything for about 2 weeks before it happened, I only know what my girlfriend tells me..  I am down to 1.25 mgs of methadone and 30 mgs of morphine 3 times a day..  Slowly reducing and trying to deal with the minor withdrawal. I just take an extra morphine when it gets too rough but I hope to be all the way off and just use them for pain as needed soon.

The Muse / Some of my favorite new hip hop..
« on: February 12, 2013, 12:23:31 AM »
Snow Tha Product ~ Unorthodox  Cookie Cutter Bitches  Holy Shit  Beast Mode  Drunk Love

Die Antwoord (South African Hip Hop) ~  Enter the Ninja  I Fink U Freeky  Baby's on Fire  Fatty Boom Boom (makes fun of Interscope records and Lady Gaga)

Mac Lethal  ~  I'm Makin Pancakes (To the music from Look at Me Now)  (To the music from Black and Yellow)  Charlie Sheen Bi-Winning

Random Autotune Remixes that are hilarious and catchy too!  ~  Ain't Nobody Got Time For That  Katt Williams Weed Remix Featuring DJ Steve Porter

So anyways, those are all jams I'd throw on my playlist, along with my Grateful Dead.  There are quite a few more songs by the artists, too, and all of them are good, which is why I really like these artists.  They're not just one hit wonders..  I just put up some of my favorites to get ya started..  Let me know what you think..  :)

General Discussion / Some ideas on gathering info for our new members...
« on: August 19, 2012, 03:09:09 AM »
I was just noticing that we seem to have, relatively, a bunch of new folks on the forum.  Lots of you newbies probably read a post by whichever member and you start to identify a bit with their story..  When this is the case, or if there is a member you really like to hear answers from, you can simply click on their name, and in their profile there is a link that says "Show Posts".  That link will show all the posts by that particular member.  For example, mine is here:;area=showposts;u=24

By doing this, you can go over any and all threads they have posted in and read all the things they have answered in the past.  I have found that by doing this, I can come across good tidbits of info I might have missed or forgotten about, not to mention I get a lot better feel for each member's personality and story.  This also prevents people from having to answer the same questions over and over.  Not that I mind, but I know that when we do answer something a lot, our answers sometimes tend to lose detail and get a bit more streamlined. 

Anyways, this is just something I thought might help some of the newer people, and even some of the regulars, who haven't used the feature.  Hope this helps!  :)

Eboka Talk / Best sources for top quality TA, HCL, and root bark?
« on: June 19, 2012, 05:57:41 AM »
I am in the market to restock my iboga supplies, and I was wondering if any of you out there who may have purchased any recently, have any suggestions on the best prices for the best quality HCl, TA/PTA, and root bark.  Ideally I'd like half a kilo to a kilo of bark, maybe 5 grams of TA and 3-5 grams of HCl. 

With enough bark, I can make the extracts myself, however, it would be nice if some reliable vendor wouldn't mind giving me a deal if I made a large purchase to sample all of their iboga products, plus it'd save me some time and energy not having to extract it myself.  Anyways, please vendors or members feel free to PM me any info you don't want to share in public, and thanks to everyone in advance for your advice and information!

The Muse / Funny look at addictions!
« on: November 28, 2011, 04:54:59 AM »

I really like this episode of South Park because I think it takes a good look at AA/NA, addiction, and personal choice.  Randy feels the same as I think many addicts feel in this episode.  Plus, it's just really funny, anyways!

Announcements, News & Events / GratefulDad to be GratefulGranDad!!
« on: February 03, 2011, 06:35:42 AM »
Well folks, looks like today might be the day.  Contractions are 3 minutes apart.  Seems today might be the day I become a grandpa!  Gonna have a new baby boy in the Grateful Family!  I'll update you all as it progresses!

Eboka Chat / COME TO CHAT!!!
« on: October 08, 2010, 01:49:12 PM »
Hey people, when you sign in to the forum and are reading posts, sign into the IRC chat, there are various ways in the IRC chat threads, so pick a way that works for you and sign in while you're reading.  Maybe say "hey" or give us a shout.  If several of you who are browsing do this at the same time, we can start having good conversations with each other in real time. 

It gets pretty cool to get to know people and how they react in real time.  I am always idling in there, and try to keep an eye on the chat room when I am nearby, so it's nice to see new faces and other folks sometimes..  We have had a few new faces in there lately, and I'd love to see more of you.  All you regular members, stop in a bit more, and all you new folks, come in and get to know some of us!

So come to chat!

Announcements, News & Events / Going on Furthur Tour..
« on: September 10, 2010, 07:14:54 PM »
Hey everyone, I just wanted to let you all know, I will be leaving this weekend for a festival, then I will be home maybe Sunday night for a few, then off Monday to go to on Furthur Tour.  I will be hitting the Eugene, OR show, Santa Barbara, CA show, Las Vegas, NV show, and probably Red Rocks in CO.  I might even do a few in between.  So I may be very scarce for the next couple weeks.  I am planning on taking my laptop, so I will be in and out, but if anyone notices me gone for a bit, that is why.  I'll holler at y'all from the road as much as possible.  Some of you might even get a phone call when I am in your area!  ;)  Much love!

Eboka Journals / Found my first Iboga trip report, from 2004..
« on: July 18, 2010, 12:46:59 AM »
I was looking for my first trip report I posted on the internet after my first experience.  I stayed in A'dam for a week and I wrote this report like the day I returned home.

Well, let me tell you, they sure don't tell that much from the reports on the net about Tabernanthe Iboga/Ibogaine. It says you get little to no withdrawal, it fixes your receptors and it cleans out your system. Well, this is only partially true.

The thing is when you take the first small dose, about a gram of whole plant extract, you get no withdrawal for a while and you also don't get the trip. It's like taking some methadone(the withdrawal will come if given in little doses as well, so prolonging the session seemed pretty counterproductive).

So crazy me decided I would take 5 grams of extract, since I was told she gave one guy 12 grams and he had a religious experience and it changed his life for the better. I was told to search deep in my consciousness to find how much I should take, and not to be shy. So, I decide at first at 2 grams, then 3, but finally said the hell with it, give me 5 grams.

I took it and was told to go relax and lay down while it kicked in. I went to the bed and layed down, totally comfortable. A few minutes, maybe a half hour later, I decided to get up because I was getting bored, but it was definitely starting to kick in because my limbs were heavy and it was getting hard to walk.

Then I started to see flashes of white lines around every object and especially those that moved. My vision would pulse from these totally black backgrounds with the white zig-zagged lines from the moving objects in the room or from when I would move. So they said you'd better lay down before you can't walk and I complied. I laid down and almost immediately started to dream and my whole body felt pretty numb, plus I heard a buzz in my ears as if I was in a concrete tunnel and I was hearing reverberations from some steady hum or buzz.

Then came the visions. Now they usually say you see primitive peoples, many times black folks, which would have been great for me since I am actually more comfortable around all blacks, even when I went to jail. For some reason I think they understand me a little better then much of the white race. Anyways, I didn't see black folks, I saw middle eastern people and I imagined I was in Iraq or somewhere similar. I think that had something to do with the fact that I had watched a special on Saddam Hussein on the history channel just a few days before.

So here I am, seeing these Osama Bin Laden MF'ers with those machine guns you always see them with on TV. Then I would also see Islamic people fighting and big artillery being fired off. In my mind I was in a desert type bunker trying to hide from the blasts, but I was actually lurking around in my bed under these heavy covers.

I also imagined that I was in these lavish halls created for Saddam and his people and there were huge, fat, gluttonous middle eastern people that were trying to control the masses, yet they were so fat they would roll around instead of walking. There was a woman related to them who was also fat, but not nearly as huge as the fat brothers(I imagined they were all related). They were telling her she was beautiful and could be a symbol of the beauty of their society, if she'd only try and slim down a bit.

Now, at this time, I could understand none of this was actually real, so I tried to change my thinking but it wouldn't work. So I tried to get up, but that is when the vomiting started. I was throwing up day and night for 2 days and I think I lost about 5 pounds. I was already thin and have lost about 30 pounds since I had been lowering my dose of methadone, so this trip really made me frail and weak. The visions lasted about 24-36 hours with periods of awakeness with the same black flashes with white lines that I described earlier.

Okay, so I guess you can imagine what type of crazy visions I was getting, so now I'll get to the physical part. When I came out of the trip I could barely move to walk, but I managed to come out of the room to try and get some nourishment.

Everything in the NL tastes funny to begin with. Their soda doesn't even taste the same. I think it has less sugar or something, because it doesn't taste right. Their juices also taste syruppy and not what I'm used to, so it was rough trying to find something appetizing. Also, if you know what opiates do to your smooth muscle in your stomach that pushes your crap through, then you can understand how hard it is to eat normally when it isn't under the influence.

I was told after I got there it would have been better to switch to heroin for a week first, because heroin detoxes are less hard on the body and it goes much quicker. But it was too late and she didn't want to tell me to break any laws, so what can you do?

Okay, so now I am awake and very weak but I can't smoke a cigarette because they tasted soooo nasty. The herb was the only thing that I could smoke and be happy, but the high wasn't that enjoyable as it usually was. It did help with sleep though.

So I slowly would move around more and more but it was still very hard on my digestion and I am still not feeling too good in that department. Tomorrow I will go to the clinic to see if I can get Milan, which is for stomach problems and is what another addict I know used when he kicked methadone.

By the second or third day out of the trip the withdrawal actually started to come in, not normal withdrawal but more of anxiety and not sleeping, plus yawning, watery eyes and sneezing attacks. The chills weren't as bad but I did feel cold for days under my skin. Just mild discomfort but the withdrawal did return, much milder than any other detox, but never-the-less withdrawal, and it comes in waves.

It was like how I felt after my first detox, which took about a week. So that means it took about 3-4 days after detoxing from methadone to feel the same as a week after detoxing from heroin by using non narcotic pills and various other drugs to treat the symptoms. No night sweats, although I get them now, occasionally, and I slept every night I was there, with the help of melatonin and a few valiums(took about 5mgs once or twice a day of the valium for the couple nights after I came out of the trip). It is still gonna be a while before I feel like I did before I started using but I am farther along than I would have been any other way.

I also made it worse because after the Iboga I was so wigged out and wanting to feel normal that I smoked a bit of heroin(probably second or third day after coming out of the trip), which happened to be very crappy, but just enough to give me a good nights sleep and make me able to stand the taste of cigarettes(which was very stupid because I was trying to quit those as well).

But I am an addict and when it's available it is very hard to resist, especially in the state I was in. I need to be stronger and to just go through a good month or so of pain, but I get so desperate sometimes it get's almost unbearable.

But the good news, I have methadone at home that I haven't touched and I haven't taken anything since I've been home besides a vicodin occasionally and Cannabis, the main healing medicine that I know is going to see me through this. Now I don't want to get anyone in trouble so I won't mention where I got the dope but I wish I wouldn't have.

Okay, so now you know about the Iboga and my nightmare trip(which I would probably do again, once I am totally clean of everything, or maybe I'll use it once more to conquer the cigarettes, which wouldn't be such a problem if I could only smoke Cannabis). Unfortunately, it is a struggle just to keep my Cannabinoid levels right, since I am broke and can't grow my own under my current living arrangements but my friends and family are still helping me, so I hopefully won't have too much more trouble.

I am still having a lot of trouble sleeping for more than an hour or two at a time, but getting up and getting the adrenaline pumping with some hyped music gets my mind off the pain for awhile. I am glad I have no connections for heroin or money because there are times the pain gets so bad in my stomach that if I could I would score.

I cannot do this and I know it, but in my mind there are some points that seem unbearable and even though I know that it will eventually pass, my mind gets very irrational when I am sick. I find it helpful to tell everyone I'm with about these feelings (even if it disappoints them to hear it) because I don't really know if I am strong enough to do it alone.

Also, taking the Vicodin occasionally is only aggravating the situation but it also allows me to start working to pay back the money I owe. I am going to have my girl ration them out and gradually get lower if I really need to but so far in the several days I've been home, I have only eaten 3 of them and that is only when the Cannabis won't help the pain.

I guess since it's only hydrocodone in 5 mgs and tylenol, so it's not that bad, but being an addict I really have to be careful and let my girl hold them so I don't go overboard and develop another habit. I am proud in a way that I am not dependent on methadone anymore, but I don't want to depend on anything to be fully functional.

So, I will continually update my progress and if anyone cares, I'll tell you how I'm doing. I am disappointed it is still as hard as it is because I expected a miracle cure, but this is only a miracle tool and it will take much more than just that to beat the monkey.

Okay, now about my conscious time in A'dam. Since I was so sick, I never went to a coffee shop, nor did I see the red light district, however, I did meet one of my idols and favorite breeders, Soma, from SomaSeeds in the Netherlands. He had some super potent mushroom tea and the lady I stayed with had also added peyote to it, I believe. I only had a sip to take away some of the edginess, but it was good and a mixture of many types of psychedelic mushrooms. The woman had 500 peyote buttons in every window of the house, she had her own Cannabis(powerplant) and a number of connections, including Soma.

Soma gave me a joint of some skunk weed he was smoking on and it was so strong that it made my whole outfit reak like skunk just from carrying it in my cigarette pack. I also got some waterhash and SAGE and Amnesia Haze, which was some of the best pot I've ever smoked and it was all totally organic, so every hit tasted like it smelled.

I now know Soma plus his daughter and her husband happened to be staying at the same place I was. It's sooo cool to have met a guy that I've read so much about and that I had looked up to as a Cannabis breeder.

I didn't get any pictures for some reason and I was too sick to really get out and around but it was over all a very wonderful learning experience and definitely worthwhile for anyone serious (and I mean dead serious) about getting clean, because although it is a much more humane environment and much more spiritual and introspective journey, it isn't a piece of cake, miracle, quick fix, it is still a long hard road made easier by Iboga.

I'd be happy to tell more but I am at work and it is over an hour after closing time, plus my kids just got dropped off so I have to run. Any questions or interests and I'll be happy to indulge further into my insights and experience, but until then, Peace be with you!

BTW, I will add how I finished up.  After I gave up the vic's I suffered some sweats and sleeplessness, but never real withdrawal.  Then I had some old powder from some orange wafers (methadone), so I took just the tip of my finger and licked it and stuck a tiny bit, maybe few mgs, and touched it to my tongue, once a day for five days.  After five days I stopped and didn't touch it opiates again til five years later, when I broke my collarbone.  Actually i think I did a pill here or there before that, but it would be a one time thing and it never was as good as it used to be.

That is how I kicked methadone in 2004, hope you enjoy!


Announcements, News & Events / Omahan: Drug breaks meth's grip
« on: July 05, 2010, 12:22:44 PM »

Published Sunday July 4, 2010
Omahan: Drug breaks meth's grip

By Paul Hammel
« Metro/Region

LINCOLN — Lauren Wertheim was a textbook meth head.

She became hooked in 1999, shortly after snorting methamphetamine under the mistaken impression that it was cocaine.

Meth provided an unbelievable rush of energy. She believed she could accomplish anything.

Soon, Wertheim, a graduate of Omaha's Brownell-Talbot School and daughter of the founder of the Little King restaurant chain, was dealing meth to support her eight-ball-a-day habit (an eight ball is an eighth of an ounce, costing about $300).

Her weight plummeted until she was like a skeleton. Yet she'd do about anything get another high.

“It's an inexplicable power, like the devil is inside of you,” Wertheim said.

Even after a year in prison, her cravings did not subside.

“It's cunning, baffling, powerful and patient; … the biggest fear is that you're going to relapse,” she said.

But now, the 42-year-old Omahan with wavy brown hair and penetrating dark eyes says her cravings are gone. She credits that to a controversial treatment in Mexico with ibogaine, a hallucinogenic extract from a West African shrub that is illegal in the United States.

Medical researchers are skeptical of ibogaine success stories and say it can be dangerous — possibly lethal in some cases. No scientific studies have substantiated the accolades by Wertheim and others who claim ibogaine's curative powers.

Wertheim has teamed up with one of the original Yippies in hopes of getting ibogaine reclassified so it can be legally administered in Nebraska to treat drug addictions.

States could save millions in treatment and incarceration costs if a cheap, quick cure for addiction was available, said Dana Beal, a leading advocate for the legalization of ibogaine as well as medicinal marijuana.

Beal is a counterculture icon. Along with Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin, he was one of the original Yippies, the radical, anti-establishment Youth International Party of the 1960s. Beal still operates the Yippie Cafe in New York City.

He has organized marches for pot legalization and now is campaigning for ibogaine.

“If it's a medicine that will help somebody, people should be able to get it,” he said.

Beal made news in Nebraska last September. He was among three men arrested in a van on U.S. Highway 6 near Ashland that held 15 pounds of marijuana.

Beal, 63, said that when all the facts come out, he'll be exonerated. The case is scheduled to go to trial this September.

Meanwhile, he continues to promote ibogaine.

He co-wrote a book about the powerful drug in 1997. It details the 1962 claim by a friend of Beal's, Howard Lotsof, that a single dose of ibogaine ends heroin cravings.

Last year, ibogaine was featured in an episode of “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” that portrayed a doctor administering it to a heroin addict so he could testify in a murder trial.

Beal has been traveling the Midwest in recent weeks, holding talks on the benefits of ibogaine. He and Wertheim said they have talked with a couple of state senators and with members of the Nebraska Board of Pharmacy about reclassifying ibogaine.

They want it changed from a Schedule I drug — meaning it has no currently acceptable medical use, could be unsafe and has a probability of abuse — to a Schedule II drug such as cocaine or Oxycodone, which can be prescribed as a treatment under limited circumstances.

The same reclassification is being sought for marijuana in Iowa so it can be prescribed as a treatment for chronic pain and other maladies. A group in Nebraska plans to make the same case to the pharmacy board here this month.

Rick Zarek of Gothenburg, head of the state pharmacy board, said he recalls fielding some calls about ibogaine recently but otherwise is not familiar with the drug. As a general rule, Zarek said, pharmacists are skeptical of testimonial claims unless scientific studies back them up.

A leading researcher in the treatment of addictions, Richard Rawson, associate director of the UCLA Integrated Substance Abuse Program, said researchers have serious concerns about the safety of the powerful drug, which can induce 30-hour, dream-like reactions.

“Ibogaine appears to damage at least one critical set of neurons in the brain, and in some of the treatment trials outside the U.S., there have been unexplained deaths during ibogaine treatments,” Rawson said.

“Well-controlled scientific research” is lacking, he said.

Lorelle Mueting, project manager for Heartland Family Service, which treats meth addicts in Nebraska and Iowa, said she is unaware of any pills that cure meth addiction. Heartland uses a research-based treatment involving 12 weeks of intensive counseling, followed by 40 weeks of follow-up counseling, she said.

Beal maintained that ibogaine must be administered with medical supervision and that past studies have used much too powerful doses. He added that many legal treatments for cancer and other diseases have potentially fatal side effects.

He also pointed to a 2008 report in the Journal of Ethno-Pharmacology that concluded further investigation of ibogaine's addiction-reducing qualities was warranted.

Beal said the drug's use in other countries has reduced the mortality rate among addicts.

Wertheim said she's living proof.

She served two stints behind bars for meth possession. She was released in 2007 after a year in state prison.

Wertheim emerged with a daughter, born during her prison stay, but still with cravings for the powerful high from what she calls “mommy's little helper.”

In January, fearing that another relapse would cost her custody of her daughter, she traveled to a clinic near Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, where ibogaine is legal.

She threw up the first time she took the drug. The second time, a dose of three pills sent her into a 17-hour “dreamlike state.”

The cost of the two treatments was $1,500. Traditional meth-addiction therapy costs an estimated $2,500 to $5,000.

When she returned to Omaha, Wertheim said, she no longer felt meth cravings, though she would not say she's 100 percent cured.

“That little thing inside of you that taps you on the shoulder and says, ‘Let's get high' … there's just nothing tapping on my consciousness now,” she said. “It sounds too good to be true. That's the problem with it.”

Is there any chance that a conservative state like Nebraska would permit a powerful hallucinogenic extract to be used in treating addictions? After all, several other states have legalized marijuana for medicinal use, but the idea has little traction here.

Wertheim and Beal acknowledge that it's a long shot but say if ibogaine was reclassified and clinical tests were conducted, the drug would prove itself.

“Some people don't have an ice cube's chance in hell of kicking their addictions,” Beal said. “This gives them a chance.”

Contact the writer:


Eboka Talk / Info on Bwiti Gods
« on: June 30, 2010, 01:49:57 PM »

Godchecker/Countries/Gods from African Mythology...

MEBEGHE: Drug-induced Creator God of the Bwiti religion-cult.

In the forest of Gabon grows a plant called Tabernanthe Iboga. It has twisted roots, polka-dot pink leaves — and hallucinogenic properties to match. A few nibbles at the iboga root will send you soaring into a drug-induced world of weirdness. You may even get religion — which is exactly how the Bwiti cult began.

MEBEGHE seems to be a tripped-out take on the three-in-one Creator God NZAME. An afternoon munching iboga must have given a completely new angle on everyone's favorite God. We're not sure what kind of angle, but without the benefit of mind-enhancing substances we'll just have to try our best.

Before you can make a cosmic omelette you have to make a Cosmic Egg. You will need underarm hair, a piece of brain, and a pebble from the sea. You will also need to be a God like MEBEGHE. You can then blow on the ingredients and your egg will form. Hand it to a spider to hang between sky and sea and cook it in sunshine.

When it is hot you must fertilize it. Then when it cracks you have descendants. This is the exciting bit. In MEBEGHE's case there burst forth NINEPONE and her brother NONE. Shortly followed by the strange and unsettling EVUS.

There are more exciting recipes to create worms and termites. These in turn dish up a big ball of dung which becomes Earth Pudding. There may also be animals, birds, plants, and giant triangular zootfroodles, depending on how much iboga you happen to be chewing.

MEBEGHE's three new deities were placed upon the Earth and told to behave themselves. Needless to say, they didn't. It wasn't long before sex and drugs and dead warthogs had ruined all chance of a happy ending.

The cult of Bwiti is still going strong in several parts of Gabon and Cameroon. There are many strenuous rituals to deal with and also a lot of complicated secret handshakes. Meanwhile, MEBEGHE has found new fame in the West as Zame-Ye-Mebege, the Discordian God of Narcotics. It's a weird old world.

Also known as NAZ, NZAMBI

NZAME: It all gets very confusing, just like some Godly soap opera. The story so far…

After consultation with the animals, NZAME creates the first man, Fam, who is blessed with power, wealth and immortality. And he turns out to be an arrogant cocky wastrel. NZAME buries him in a hole and tries again.

Second man Sekume, being made mortal, is far more modest, and humbly makes himself a wife out of a tree. (Her name is Mbongwe, which may or may not be of any importance in the long run.) Original man Fam, playing the immortality card, comes back from the dead to create trouble. End of episode one.

Next week, NZAME falls in love with new girl MBOYA, and they have a son called Bingo. Yes, Bingo.

There are many episodes of family quarrels, squabbles and feuds until NZAME, in a fit of rage, throws Bingo out of Heaven. (By now the soap was going on so long it needed a bit of fresh impetous.) Bingo is found by a wizard called Otoyom who secretly raises the Godly child.

NZAME, now repentant, searches together with MBOYA through many episodes to find their lost child, but Otoyom is always one magic step ahead of them. Bingo reaches adulthood and becomes a teacher to all mankind.

Will NZAME ever find him? Will he ever be reconciled to his parents? Will he ever confess to being MEBEGHE on his day off? What is Fam up to? Is Sekume still married to a tree? Meanwhile back in the East End of Coronation Street new neighbours have moved in…


NINEPONE: Drug-induced Goddess of Fertility who holds up the world in the Bwiti religion-cult.

She was born from MEBEGHE's Cosmic Egg, along with her younger brother NONE and their somewhat evil half-brother EVUS.

Entrusted with the guardianship of the night and the sanctity of the female spirit, she remained a virgin right up until the first time she had sex.

Unfortunately, her first sexual enounter was with EVUS. He must have whispered sweet evil nothings in her ear, as she then made the leap from half-brother to full-brother and took NONE into her bed.

All these shenanigans made MEBEGHE very cross — and as a punishment NINEPONE now carries the world upon her head. There's not many sexual liaisons you can get up to in that position.

NONE: Father of the Human Race and God of Metalwork, Ironmongery, Arts, Crafts and Publishing in the drug-induced Bwiti religion-cult.

NONE popped out of the Cosmic Egg just after his sister NINEPONE. The Creator God MEBEGHE set them down in a lovely village on Earth, while their strange semi-sibling EVUS lurked in the jungle nearby.

All was bliss for a while, but EVUS became bored of lurking and started making a nuisance of himself. After a while he got bored of that too and sneaked around the outskirts of the village. There he bumped into NINEPONE — and the two of them managed to seduce each other.

It was a case of 'keep it in the family' after EVUS persuaded her to seduce her brother too. The world's first case of incest led to the first human beings. But MEBEGHE was very cross and banished her to the void just underneath the planet.

Meanwhile, NONE was faced with a multitude of screaming baby humans and no widwife. It was then that EVUS proved he wasn't entirely evil — just misunderstood. He sat NONE down and explained to him the secret lore of ironwork, carpentry, bookbinding, textiles and painting.

So a relieved and happy NONE set to work — and was able to keep the kids happy with toys, games, musical instruments, books and sports equipment.

Also known as EKURANA

EVUS: Drug-induced Trickster God of Irritation if not Evil in the Bwiti religion-cult.

MEBEGHE the Creator made the Cosmic Egg, out of which burst NINEPONE and her brother NONE. But there was also a Cosmic Placenta and Umbilical Cord. (These things happen in drug-induced religions.) The left-over bits formed the body of EVUS, a strangely twisted Godlet with a co-joined twin by his side.

This twin, named Ekurana, possessed the power of thunder. But he spent most of his time sleeping and turning a blind eye to EVUS's goings-on. For EVUS was wayward, annoying, and often very naughty indeed.

Knowing EVUS's nature, MEBEGHE in his wisdom banished him to the jungle to prevent strife. So it was probably him that first discovered the hallucinatory properties of the iboga plant. Meanwhile NINEPONE and NONE were treated to a nice village setting with all mod cons.

EVUS prowled around the jungle growing increasingly bored and dissatisfied. He started to comfort-eat antelopes and warthogs, and make irritating noises in the dead of night. Finally NINEPONE went out to see what was going on. And found herself unexpectedly seduced.

After that things went rapidly downhill. NINEPONE slept with her brother and EVUS got the blame. EVUS, possibly feeling remorse, taught NONE some useful but very forbidden D.I.Y skills — which made MEBEGHE hate him even more.

The end came in a flash. MEBEGHE gave Ekurana, EVUS's co-joined twin, a prod which finally woke him up. He unleashed a thunderbolt which knocked his brother for six and sent him deep into the bowels of the Earth. We're not sure if the twins were separated in the process. EVUS is stuck there to this day, but has anyone seen Ekurana lately?

General Discussion / Somagenics.. and ibogaine?
« on: June 30, 2010, 05:23:37 AM »
I started reading this site.  Apparently, this guy damaged his brain somehow and his pineal gland released a bunch of tryptamines.  He came up with this hypothesis.  I think this might be how ibogaine works.  This pinoline stuff he talks about is the body's greatest antioxidant next to inducing REM sleep.  Well ibogaine is said to produce REM, dreams, so I think maybe that is why it works for addiction and beating viral problems and numerous ailments..  It is a tonic that repairs the brain function.  Give it a read and see what ya think..


SOMAGENICS: Soma Neuro-molecules produced by ones own Gendre, from ones own Genes and Metabolic Genesis.
Usually produced by the Pineal Gland from one of the 8 essential amino acids: Tryptophan.

These neuro-hormones, are involved in:
Producing our dreams and lucid dreams, and inducing REM, Rapid Eye Movement.
Our visionary and creative brain states,
Transfering daily experience to ancestral memory, into the archives of the de-nucleated DNA.
Near Death Experiences, for neuro-protection and transferring ancestral memory to the conscious mind in emergency situations.
Some are essential in body health, and switching on the other neuro-hormones and hormones systems for our endocrine glands.
Some are anti-oxidants. Pinoline is the body's greatest anti-oxidant, apart from inducing REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, and hence dreams.

Pinoline is also:
Neuro-protective against stroke, and radiation,
Is the body's tool against addiction,
As well as it stopping leukemia from spreading by 98% and reducing it by 36%.

To give a very brief overview of the highest priority importance of these molecules of consciousness (much more in the Somajetic section).
These are the hormones of superconsciousness. The infamous 3rd Eye produces them. These are the 3rd Eye's "Akashon's". They are the keys to all of the major glands, and coordinating the 7 nervous energy plexi, of the nervous system, the 7 eastern "chakra's" whose vorticity facilitates our 7 major endocrine glands.
They are a potential Nano-Technology, since they are in the nano-metre dimension, and can be coordinated by sound and conscious coherence bio-feedback. With their capability to intercalate with the DNA and RNA code of life,they enable genetic corrections and interactive DNA programming and rejuvenation. This we call Somagenesis.
Hence, here lies awaiting a new frontier of medicine called Somagenic Medicine, which does not require computers to coordinate these nano-molecules, with a potential to program the DNA. As is already the case today, albeit unconsciously.
The Somagenics include:
Melatonin: N-Acetyle-5-Methoxy-Tryptamine, or N-Acetyl-Serotonin. Induces Mitosis, or cell division.
Pinoline: About 212 electrons in weight, it is a tri-cyclic indole nucleus with 3 attached rings, a pyrido, 3,4-indole, known as the beta carboline base) it is: 6-Methoxy-tetra-hyrdo-beta-carboline 6-MeO-THBC. With C13 H12 N2 O. Induces mitosis, or cell replication, and intercalates with the DNA in a superior and significant manner.
DMT: Is an indole tryptamine made from Tryptamine and Serotonin by several enzyme metabolizations. It has 188 electrons, and is known as: N,N, Dimethyltryptamine, N,N,DMT, more technically as 3-[2-(dimethylamino)ethyl]-indole, with C12 H16 N2. It intercalates with the messenger RNA.
5-MeO-DMT: 5-Methoxy-Dimethyltryptamine. It has 218 electrons in its molecular weight, it converts to Pinoline, and it is structured as C13 H18 N2 O. It intercalates with the messenger RNA.

All of the above are mainly exclusive to the Pineal gland. Pinoline beats at the all significant 8 cycles per second, the alpha range, where both brain hemi-spheres "superconnect".
Melatonin and Pinoline work on the DNA, inducing an 8 Hz signal to enable mitosis and DNA replication. A form of body temperature superconductivity is evident in this process.
DMT and 5-Me0-DMT are active on the messenger RNA.
Together with the body's own Mono-Atomic elements, recently discovered (the body's own exotic matter, with bizarre laws which enable life), an alchemical technology for potential genetic perfection of the human being, and greater activation of the 90% unassigned Neo-Cortex.

More here:

General Discussion / The 8-Circuit Model of Consciousness
« on: June 30, 2010, 03:05:57 AM »

The 8-Circuit Model of Consciousness

A Lurker's Guide

by Paul Clark

Originally published on Hyperreal

Timothy Leary came up with this theory - or I guess model or map would be better terms - for human consciousness. I get the impression he started working on it early in his LSD involvement, though I haven't yet been able to find where he first started talking about the ideas (I suspect there may be a reference in 'High Priest', but I haven't waded all the way through yet).

His book on the subject was called 'Exo-Psychology', and has been republished with additional material in recent years under the title 'Info-Psychology' (New Falcon Publishing). This is a good book, and it's especially valuable because it's original source material on the whole idea, but it really is out there - it's hard to make sense of it unless you already know what he's talking about.

There are, however, two excellent books that introduce, explain, and develop these ideas. Before describing their strong & weak points, let me give a thumbnail sketch of the big picture:

The 8-circuit model describes eight levels of function of human consciousness. Different books call these by different names- 'circuits' (like different circuits in a computer), 'gears' (like shifting gears on a bicycle), 'grades' (like in elementary school)- you could call them 'burritos' if you want- I like 'circuits'.

Anyhow, there are eight circuits. The lower four deal with normal psychology, while the upper four deal with 'psychic', 'mystical', 'enlightened', or perhaps even 'tripped-out' consciousness. The strong point of this system is that it integrates the two so well. Most theories deal with one or the other, but not both- mundane psychology with no consideration of transcendant experience, or mystical foo-fa-ra with octaves and rays and spiritual this or that but no grounding in nitty-gritty down-to-earth surviving in the human jungle.

The first four 'normal' circuits are influenced very much by modern psychology, especially Adlerian developmental stuff. Part of the idea is that as you grow up from infancy, the various circuits are activated and begin to function, and you take an 'imprint' from the conditions at the time.

The most obvious example is when the sexual/social circuit kicks on in adolesence, the imprint is taken when you have your first sexual experience. Sometimes, if this happens in the back seat of a car, with the panic of wondering whether Mom or Dad will appear, later in life the same person will discover that nothing turns them on quite as much as doing it in the back seat of a car, and especially if they feel a bit panicked.

Here's a rundown of the first four circuits:

1st circuit: Survival/Security. Things are okay or they're not, or somewhere in between. This is connected to the first source of these things: nursing at Mom's nipple. People who take an imprint that things aren't safe all the time may compensate by eating, especially sweet things, pudding, 'nursery food' that makes them feel better for a while. This imprint is taken very early, in nursing. It's what's known in developmental psychology as 'oral'. Putting things in your mouth is always fun!

2nd circuit: Territorial/Emotional. This is a very particular definition of 'emotional'- are you feeling up or down? Are you on top of the world or down in the dumps? This is related to basic primate pecking order stuff- who's the big tough dog and who's the little submissive dog? Later, when you get your own turf where you can be a little king, you can defend it against others by throwing shit at each other (in the form of words, lawsuits, horn honking, or however you prefer to 'dump on' people).

This one is full of stereotypes- all the examples I gave were kinda male, yet every female knows there's just as much game-playing between women. Women traditionally have been made submissive to men, but in many cases that's not the case, and in any case there's a lot of passive-agressive ways the tables are turned in each direction.

This corresponds to the 'anal' stage, and the first imprints are taken during toilet training- this develops greatly when the kid starts playing with other kids and finding out where they stand- big kids are always telling little kids what to do.

3rd circuit: Conceptual. This kicks in even before school- kids are hungry to learn. This circuit is the ability to make mental models of things, which help you 'figure things out' and 'be clever'. The imprint you take is whether you feel smart or stupid (which is different from BEING smart or stupid!)

Sometimes people who have a bad time in other circuits compensate in 3rd circuit- actually, that can happen with any of them. Note also that there are different KINDS of intelligence- verbal, mathematical, visual/spatial, musical, etc, etc... but as Robert Anton Wilson says, "...the people with the verbal intelligence have control of the language, so they call themselves THE intellectuals." My father, who is a clinical psychologist, always mentions a particular basketball player (I forget who) whom he claims is a genius in spatial/motor intelligence, regardless of the fact that the guy probably reads on a 7th grade level.

4th circuit: Social/Sexual. Whereas 2nd circuit deals with who bosses who, 4th deals with who is cool. What this comes down to is that depending on whether someone is cool or not, you'd let them get close to you or not, running a spectrum from not talking to someone at all (the snub) to having sex with them, with many subtle shades in between.

It goes both ways - how cool are you? Are there people that you aren't cool enough to talk to? "Oh, I could never ask HER/HIM out..."

The imprint you take here is how cool you feel, and how hard you have to work to feel that way.

Everyone has these circuits, but some people get stuck on one or another of them, usually because they've got some problem to work out in that area. Often one circuit gets to be a surrogate for another (especially if the other is underdeveloped)- the classic example is the pathetic (i.e. poor 2nd circuit imprint) nerd who tries to out-talk his buddies to show how smart he is (3rd circuit), in order to be an authority to them (2nd circuit dominance).

One of the ideas that came up in LSD research was the idea that you reach a state of flux in which new imprints can be taken. This is very much in agreement with ideas about set and setting, but as most people who have taken LSD agree, while everything seems to change after the experience, after a while you slip back into the old patterns (witness all the flower children who, unlike the few with real dedication, slipped back to become businessmen of the 80's).

Whether this slipback is really inherent in the function of the LSD trip is not certain, though- it may be caused by going back into one's regular environment, which has been shaped by everything one was before. Under the pressure of conformity to the old status quo, one slips back. That's my theory- the way to really find out would be to try the imprint process, and then afterwards, step into an entirely new life in another place with different people and things, and see whether the same slipback process happened. (I haven't tried such a radical experiment myself- I'm too attached to my current situation to change it just to try out a theory... rationalize, rationalize...)

I think the people who have been changed for the better by their psychedelic experiences are those who don't just get high all the time, but who follow up their realizations with action to improve themselves and their environment accordingly.

Leary felt that the goal was to work out the circuits so that one had imprints that led to a happy, healthy life, but without having to always have things one way- people who have to always be on top never learn about service, those who always have to feel secure never learn to take risks, etc.

Ultimately, the circuits would be there to plug into and out of at Will, while one navigated through the upper circuits:

The upper circuits deal with mystical, psychic, or paranormal consciousness. They are built on the foundation of the lower circuits, almost as 'overdriven' versions of them. Interestingly, they correspond well with ideas from many spritual traditions- I was reading a description by a woman who was initiated into a Native American sweat lodge. She described a vision in which the Great Spirit appeared and told her of the 'four gifts to mankind'. These four corresponded exactly to the upper four circuits.

It doesn't always work out so neatly, but the parallels are interesting.

5th circuit: Bliss/Healing, Neurosomatic Feedback. When 1st circuit security gets great enough, it becomes bliss, as one becomes aware of one's sensation of pleasure and learns to generate those sensations at the source. This is the SF brainbox that directly stimulates one's pleasure centers, only the box is also your brain! This feedback loop gets going, and one may remain in the state until kicked out for some reason (the world makes demands, or the chemical that boosted you into the state wears off).

Ever seen a picture of a meditating yogi in bliss? In this state, you realize you can make yourself feel bliss just as easily as you can move your muscles or keep still.

When this awareness is applied to others, the 5th circuit energy works to help their 1st circuit state- this is the principle of healing. Alli believes charisma is connected to 5th circuit, though I suspect it has to do with the others as well.

6th circuit: Psychic. This is awareness of the great information network in which we swim. The connection to 2nd circuit is not so obvious - I became aware of the connection following a series of dreams, in which certain traumatic events of my youth were replayed, but in ways that made it obvious that the real issues were current things that had nothing to do with the old stuff. The old stuff was stuff I'd worked to uncover and work out, and I'm pretty certain there wasn't much undealt trauma left. Why was I dreaming about it?

I realized that the current situation provided the flow of anxious energy, but when that flow arose, it followed the same channel cut by the old trauma, just like a flash flood will follow an old dry riverbed.

Emotions seem to run in channels in the mind, metaphorically speaking, and in the same way psychics speak of 'channeling' material from outside. This is as far as I can put it into words- I'm no master of any of these upper four, I just offer this in case it will help someone else's insight.

7th circuit: Mythical Intelligence. This is the realm of the shaman, of spirit animals, Gods and Goddesses. It is the Dreamtime. 3rd circuit draws models of specifics in the conscious world. 7th circuits draws models of the patterns of archetype that make up the unconscious world. It does this by telling stories that illustrate the patterns that arise from these archetypes. When 7th circuit awareness is working, one realizes how these patterns are being played out, and instead of just acting in the world, one is at the same time coming into direct contact with the archetypal.

8th circuit: Out-of-Body Experiences, Factor X, and ???? This is the far reaches, and not much is really understood about it. Since 4th circuit has to do with letting others get close and even (especially in the case of sexuality) merging with them, it makes sense that 8th might have to do with overcoming the obtacle of one's physical boundaries.

Wilson suggests how certain drugs may activate the various circuits, something like the following:

1st circuit: Comfort foods- sugar, dairy products. Sedatives may deaden alarm sensations and produce a sense of security - alcohol, for example.

2nd circuit: Stimulants in general, as well as alcohol in large amounts (the classic aggressive drunk)

3rd circuit: Stimulants, possibly, and no doubt 'Smart drugs' would fit here.

4th circuit: Ecstasy, as well as many others - generally any drug which defeats social inadequacy programming.

5th circuit: Sex is the big one, when it goes from being mere satisfaction of physical drives and becomes oceanlike ecstasy. Otherwise, marijuana, and most hallucinogens in moderate doses.

6th circuit: LSD

7th circuit: Psilocybin, Peyote, possibly LSD, many of the natural psychedelics.

8th circuit: Ketamine? Excessive doses of many drugs may produce this, as well as those which produce near-death experiences.

Note that no drug is so narrow as to only affect one circuit, and there are probably much better techniques of activating and developing the various parts of the Self. Some people, however, suggest that they became aware of these capacities in themselves through use of them.

Since the upper circuits are built on the foundation of the lower ones, you have to have your shit together to deal with the high stuff. If you don't, you can have what Alli calls 'Short Circuit', in which the energy of the higher circuit over-amps and burns out the lower circuit. This can be either a temporary or a permanent condition, apparently, depending on how far you overdo it.

For instance, someone who has 2nd circuit aggression/submission problems may, if they take a large dose of LSD, may feel overwhelmed by the influx of 6th circuit awareness- hearing voices in their head, feeling wide open to the flow of information and unable to turn it off. This may result in over-amping of the second circuit, in which they feel greatly threatened or even victimized by the Universe. Too much. If this goes too far, they may continue to feel this even after the drug has worn off.

Okay, on to the reviews, in the order I suggest reading them:

Prometheus Rising, by Robert Anton Wilson. (New Falcon Publishing). This is a great introduction to the lower four circuits. Wilson uses cool literature (Joyce, Dickens) to illustrate them, and his sections on 2nd circuit (or Human Primate Psychology) is witty and insightful. When he gets to the upper circuits, though, he kind of peters out, although he offers some interesting ideas. RAW uses the 8-circuit model extensively in his novels, especially the Illuminatus Trilogy & Schroedinger's cat. If you liked them before, try reading them after you have this model figured out.

Angel Tech, a modern shaman's guide to reality selection, by Antero Alli. (New Falcon Publishing) This is by far the very best handbook on the 8-circuit model. He gives very lucid descriptions of the lower circuits, what can go wrong with them, and what to do about it. If you lost the owner's manual that originally came with your Human Form, this aftermarket manual is a good maintainance guide. The upper circuits are dealt with tolerably well- I don't know if anyone could really do them justice. He suggests some exercises and techniques, but hey! We're all experimenting.

Info Psychology, by Timothy Leary (New Falcon Publishing). As mentioned above, this is the source material, but it's not the best introduction. Leary added astrological correspondances which seem fairly off-base, he agrees. Otherwise, there is much depth to be dug out of this. It's not written really to be read linearly, either, but to be connected up with at whichever points are relevant to the user at the time. A classic for every bookcase!

The 8-circuit model is just another map, and the map is not the territory, just as the menu is not the meal (as many Falcon authors are fond of quipping). I've found this particular theory to be one of the more useful ones when you are trying to figure out your head.

I asked Leary about the 8-circuit model during a lecture once, and he picked up on it, but obviously he wasn't as interested in talking theory as he was working the crowd like a sideshow huckster. He did a great job of that, by the way, and I enjoyed him greatly. Too bad he gave up research for marketing, though.

Wikipedia link (8-Circuit Model of Consciousness)

General Discussion / What music are you listening to now?
« on: June 25, 2010, 12:49:30 AM »
I have seen these threads elsewhere, where people post links to youtubes and stuff of music they are jamming to.  Roach turned me on to this guy who I found amazing, maybe you'd like to check him out..

And also this little kid Sungha Jung, also blew my mind..

Might check out more by Sungha, he's got loads of songs on there..

Eboka Talk / Ibogaine Patient's Bill of Rights
« on: June 12, 2010, 10:35:25 PM »
I thought I saw this before but I am not sure where and we definitely need this in a sticky.  Something EVERY patient or person seeking treatment should read:

Ibogaine Patients' Bill of Rights

The patient has the right to understand and use these rights. If for any reason you do not understand your rights or you need help in understanding your rights, the Ibogaine provider must make assistance available, including an interpreter.

The patient has the right to receive treatment with Ibogaine and to be informed of the dose and form of ibogaine you will receive.

The patient has the right to receive complete information about your diagnosis, treatment and prognosis.

The patient has the right to participate in all decisions about your treatment.

The patient has the right to receive treatment without discrimination as to race, color, religion, sex, national origin, disability, or sexual orientation.

The patient has the right to receive considerate and respectful care in a clean and safe environment free of unnecessary restraint.

The patient has the right to be informed of the name and position of the provider who will be in charge of your Ibogaine therapy

The patient has the right to receive all the information that you need to give informed consent for any proposed procedure or treatment you will receive and the possible risks and benefits of the proposed procedure or treatment.

The patient has the right to refuse to take part in research, including a full explanation sufficient to help you to decide whether or not to participate.

The patient has the right to refuse treatment and be told what effect this may have on your health.

The patient has the right to be informed of alternate therapies.

The patient has the right to privacy while undergoing Ibogaine treatment and confidentiality of all information and records regarding your care.

The patient has the right to review your treatment record without charge and obtain a copy of your treatment record for which your provider can charge a reasonable fee, with the understanding that you can not be denied a copy solely because you cannot afford to pay.

The patient has the right to complain without fear of reprisals about the care and services you are receiving, and to have the provider respond to you.

The patient has the right to file a Grievance Form and have a patient advocate intervene on your behalf.
Ibogaine Patients' Responsibilities

Patients are responsible for providing information about past illnesses, hospitalizations, medications, and other health-related matters.

Patients are responsible for informing their treatment providers and other caregivers if they anticipate problems in following prescribed treatment.

Patients must take responsibility for requesting additional information or clarification about their health status or treatment when they do not fully understand the current information or instructions.

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