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Messages - Morninggloryseed

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1
Flooding / Re: In need of US Midwest sitter/advisor
« on: April 28, 2015, 11:57:18 PM »
If you must go the do it yourself approach, my approach seemed to work very well for me.  I spent the entire time on the floor, on a mattress, listening onto to this music...letting it be my guide, knowing this was the best way  for the message to get through.

Never looked back, three iboga floods later.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLftUgMQRym1ddsIxbiyNXQKnF1lXAVyjM

2
Eboka Journals / Re: Microdose experience and planning for flood
« on: May 31, 2013, 01:40:31 PM »
In my own experience, I'd say it took at least two weeks for it all to 'gel.'  I mean the physical addiction to opiates/PAWS was gone within 48hr....but the other INCREDIBLE changes that have resulted in a wiser, stronger, HAPPY EVERY DAY, can only eat healthy foods, even is a better guitar player.....MGS.....did not begin right away....I definitely went through some difficult moments of transition (not related to cravings, or opiates....just the realizations that the way I had been living was not right for me, but felt lost at first as to what to do next) because my everything was defragmented and then factory restored...it took a couple weeks for the personality that I was before becoming consumed with addiction came out again....and then blossomed.

I'm telling you, reread what I said about MOST IMPORTANT EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE.  Sorry for the caps, I know people hate that.  The reason ibogaine fails for so many is they do not have 'follow up care' and I think most people do need a facilitator of some sort, or 'Shaman' if you will...to tell them the things I am telling you.

I hope you can take even more than a week off.  I'm sure in the end, the loss of labor will make up for the gaining of life.

3
Eboka Journals / Re: Microdose experience and planning for flood
« on: May 30, 2013, 02:55:53 AM »
If you listen to a single thing in your life....consider your next flood of more importance than getting married, or family.  Then reconsider taking it...save it for when you can devote a week or more.  In my own iboga experience....if I could not have taken the time I wanted/needed....I simply cannot fathom how I would be here today.

All part of 'follow up care' and 'recovery.'

Don't rush this because after your previous tries, I know you want this to work.  This is taking your life back.....it is worth taking the time out from life to do this.  Please, follow this advice.

4
Please do, you won't find too many people as willing or as able to help you as I can/will at the moment.  I was a hopeless addict too, I wanted to die and considered my opiate addiction a slow suicide.  I got out and now truly smell the roses every day.  there is hope as long as there is iboga and nice guides like me willing to assist.

5
Wow, such a good find.  Bookmarked!

6
Introductions / Re: New Around. Buprenorphine Addict.
« on: May 11, 2013, 04:05:08 AM »
It took about a month for me to become 'stable' on the kratom.  By stable, I mean that eating kratom would relieve any and all withdrawal, and even gave me a lift/opiate high.

I used "Bali" kratom (which seemed consistent in potency regardless of vendor or season) at about 7-10grams (taken every 4 or 5 hr...I would even wake from a dead sleep in WD if I slept longer than the effects lasted for...so I would usually dose in the middle of my sleep cycle.  Kratom is VERY addictive.

Over about 9 months I worked down to 5-7grams (every 4-5hr), then 3-5grams, then took the iboga.

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Introductions / Re: New Around. Buprenorphine Addict.
« on: May 11, 2013, 12:58:55 AM »
I spent 3 years of my life as a thrice daily poppy pod drinker, and 6 years on suboxone.  As you have read, getting of suboxone is HARD...in fact I was never able to achieve it...the WD went on for weeks and I got to the point that I was gonna off myself if I was not relieved...so I went from suboxone to kratom and finished it all off with iboga 2 months ago.

The approach you want to use is sound.  It can work for you, and I truly hope you see your goals through.

You can read my story here....

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/662638-Behaviors-That-Brought-Me-To-Iboga-Opiates-Amphetamine-Others-Experienced


And please PM me if you need any further support.

8
Been a long day so I will be short on words but the wisdom in this forum is so impressive.  I learn something new every time I read.  To the OP....iboga is right for you if you think so...I am of the opinion that iboga is right for everyone who is seeking.  And I realize that is some serious idealism on my part but that is my belief.

Iboga got me out of 10 years of daily opiate use and gave me the tools I need to remain sober.  2 months post ibogaine, I am working hard every day to keep this feeling alive and it works!  It is almost as if the ibogaine has never work off..and it takes work....and I love to do this work.

Ibogaine is not a magic bullet but its about as close to one as there will ever be.  It will interrupt addiction (at the right dose) but the most important part is the FOLLOW UP THERAPY.  I am fortunate to have family supporting me as I go through this spiritual transformation...I am so lucky to not have to work at the moment, and I am free to explore the new doors that have opened for me...instead of having to return to a daily grind of 9-5.  Every day that goes by makes me stronger and makes the idea of going back to opiates nothing short of abhorrent.

I will even throw this out...for the next few months I will be free to pursue my fancies.  If you need someone to help you on your quest, please PM me.  I am available and I want to give back all of the life and love iboga gave to me.

9
Eboka Journals / Re: Defragmentation and Factory Restore
« on: April 29, 2013, 04:34:02 PM »
Just wanted to add some words here....a friend on another forum last month reminded me that not everyone who takes ibogaine tells the same story I do.  I took a month to think about his words and now here is a response...

>Powerful, poignant story, MGS...thank you for sharing it with us.
>your confidence is encouraging, but let's make a point not to forget
>what happened to our friend two years after his powerful Iboga
>experience. It's a sobering reminder that addiction is a lifelong
>vulnerability (Iboga or not).

To which I replied.......

I appreciate you commenting and I miss our regular chats. I am working very hard to be at the point where I accept every word from another as a chance to reevaluate, and a challenge for me to defend my position, or open my mind to the idea it was wrong. A month ago or so I was telling people that I'll be opiate free for at last the next decade, only the perfect storm could change where I am at. And when I (re)read Tobala's report my immediate thoughts were....'well he didn't take enough' and then I thought, "well it doesn't sound like he prepared months in advance for it as I did, maybe that is why, etc."

Now I am at the point where I do accept that ibogaine is FUCKING AMAZING and does work....but it still requires the user to operate heavy machinery. Ibogaine can be the grand reset button (with the right dose) but at some point the user has to accept responsibility for their own path. Ibogaine cannot pilot the ship forever.....and who would want it too?

I can't speak for others but my ibogaine experience began with every trip I ever had....they all set the template and the mood. LSD, DMT, 1001 research chemicals, the whole lot were all 'training' for me. Ibogaine came into my life not just to free me from the conviction I had that my life was not worth anything without opiates....it came into my life to plant a seed in my brain that is growing, and I will work every day to continue nurturing it.

After the seed was planted and sprouted, I went on a 4 week period of 'reintroduction' surrounded by family who provided love and support and allowed me to just be, but also wanted to hear of my experience...and talking about it allowed me to rethink it all, look at where I am at, where others like me got too, and really take in the great divide between where I wanted to be, where I could be, and where I as at. In short, this was for me the 'follow up therapy' that every ibogaine practitioner says is NECESSARY for success. Without it, ibogaine is just as much a crap-shoot as taking LSD or any other psychedelic.

Then my oldest and dearest friend, sister, soul mate, etc....flew me out to sunny CA to remind me further, and to show me by example that working hard to be the best I can be will work...she showed me by simply being herself. The she reminded me of the fact that I turned her on to psychedelics when we were VERY YOUNG adults, and it changed where she wanted her life to lead...and man has that woman done/is doing SO MUCH.....and she reminded me that I turn on everyone I know, I always have, no one has ever had buyer's remorse...and maybe there is something more to it than I 'just like to trip.' I needed her affirmation. I am working to make all of those around me 'matter' but for so long, her opinion of myself was all I ever cared about. That she justified my path at that moment was probably more of a +4 than even the ibogaine.

The trip to CA showed me the life I want to live is all around me. Be it in CA, or where I am now, all I need to do is practice to better myself, keep the faith in the things I know to be true, share the knowledge I have learned, do not engage in bullshit, and with good intentions, all life around me will unfold in ways I could never foresee. It has happened everyday since March 3rd, it gets stronger every day, and it has only begun. I know I will have pitfalls they are challenges along the way I will need to bridge in order to make the path I am on stronger. And every pitfall I overtake is a lesson I can share with those around me who need to hear it.

I know I am human, subject to the same fears and excesses anyone else is. But I also know the seed planted in my brain is all I ever will need again and as long as I work to continue on this path....nothing will every change the way I see things.

The decade I spend in love with opiates and death was a necessary path I took, the reasons of which are still not clear....but I know it all happened for a very good reason and I would not change a thing. I also know every reason and every behavior pattern in my brain that made that life the one I wanted to live are no longer relevant to me today, I work hard to make it that way tomorrow, and I know everything is going to come out rosy for me.

10
Eboka Journals / Re: Defragmentation and Factory Restore
« on: April 10, 2013, 05:47:27 PM »
Quote from: bluetiger
In the end, you end up surrendering yourself completely, and it is ridiculous for you to say: "Certainly 300ug LSD causes way more 'unreality' than even 1 1/4g ibogaine hcl."
Just because you didn't believe this to be true for your first flood, does not mean that it is beneficial for you to make such a statement like this on a public forum.  When I met Mr. Iboga and traveled through dimensions/scenes/future/past... it felt pretty "unreal."  (And I have experienced pure LSD)

As you said later in your post, words deceive us.  And certainly here my choice of words was poor, I should have used 'ego loss' and not 'unreality.'   On my 'flood' dose I was literally in a forest in Gabon taking part in an iboga ceremony....no matter that I was also on the floor of the basement here in this home. 

Quote
Information is the true medicine!  Everything starts with a thought.....so be careful with what you think you know, and what you publish on the internet.  Because from my POV, you are doing exactly what you are telling other people not to do, what discourages you, the "inaccurate" information.  I understand the emotional charge you have having gone through it myself to maybe a lesser degree, but I know I would be more receptive to these types of statements if you humbled yourself a bit with an IME, IMHO, etc.

I can totally appreciate where you are coming from and I really respect your words as a forum member here.  I know everyone wants to protect iboga and so do I.  Having said that, I write my reports from my point of view and from my perspective so as to share my experience.   I am new to iboga but I am not new to plant teachers.  I have been writing about my experiences for over a decade and nothing I say is going to make somebody spend $200 USD for a gram of ibogaine who is not already seeking.

And having said that, I never EVER write trip reports to give dosage advice, and I don't give endorsements either.   I just try to speak from my perspective and from the context of my experience.  I will rave about iboga to a like minded audience but in general think I am pretty humbled by the whole thing...if I come across differently I will now be aware.  :)

I also want to say that I know I have only tried ibogaine twice...I am not an expert.   I do look forward to many more experiences with it in the future and the further understanding it will bring.

Quote
I apologize if I missed this in your earlier reports: Do you meditate or do yoga?   How often if so?

Meditate often or daily, yoga not so much in the past year....used to practice daily.

Quote from: zingdoozer
Upto 1.25 grams of ibogaine HCL or otherwise, if you aren't an addict is a reasonably easy ride. If non addicts can name an experience where they had a 'bad trip' with 1.2-1.5 grams I will definitely stand corrected. But again, my point here, is that we should be encouraging more people to do the Iboga. Safely. 1.2 grams is well within safe limits.

For whatever reason I found the words and ideas people shared with me about iboga did not translate to my experience and  I regret I did not hear that ibogaine may not necessarily be an 'ordeal' ridden with excess stimulation leaving me wishing it wore off.

From my perspective, the dosage I took (1gram of the hcl, and a little over 1/2g of the TA) of ibogaine was not a difficult one.....as a veteren dozen of synthetics, self-extracted DMT, growing up on LSD, etc/....the ibogaine was actually pretty damn friendly.  I did mention in the report that some personal issues cycled in my head, difficult issues I have longed pushed away, and that was true.  The process of cycling in my head means I felt I was reliving them again.  This certainly was not 'easy' but ibogaine held my hand during it, it was very empathetic and had humor, it made it very easy for me to finally deal with the issues.  LSD has NEVER been like that.  LSD has flat-out tormented me with me problems before, on top of making me feel like it will never end.  This is what I mean by ibogaine causes less 'unreality' than LSD.

Having said that, 1 1/4g (or equivalent) is a high dosage.  From my research, the 'starting' dosages that do not involve addiction interruption are closer to 3mg-5mg/kg for the typical 'westerner.'  This from all the research done in S. America in the 70s and elsewhere.  This is why I don't give dosage advice...to many caveats.


Quote
morninggloryseed was honest, and shared his thoughts. If we have different thoughts based on our experiences, we should say so, but respectfully, just like the iboga teaches us to. I'm not saying you were disrespectful in any way, but there is an overwhelming harshness on the board when it comes to dosages, and safety. Often without clarity helping it along. Which is often a recipe for disaster. Also, I dont think he said anything beyond 1.25 grams TA is equivalent to 300 mcg of acid.

Thanks for understanding.  I never have encountered anyone being harsh, but there is a lot of 'protection' going on and I think that influences a lot of people to keep quiet about some aspects of iboga.  It is important to me for other 'plant researchers' to know iboga is a valid means of a having a mystical experience.   That it can be blissful and it may not be an 'ordeal' or 'once in a life time only.'  Now I am saying iboga is inside of me too, and it wants people to know these things.  :)

11
Eboka Journals / Re: Defragmentation and Factory Restore
« on: April 03, 2013, 01:53:56 PM »
I seem to be unable to edit my report, so I have a new post in this thread with a major revision to the report.  Sorry for posting again, I will try again to edit the first one.

Part Two: Later that year

This trip report will read a lot like the Seinfeld episode where time goes backwards, the end of the episode is at the start, and the start is at the ending.

I am a Beatles and Pink Floyd man and never thought native music would reach me.  But all I listened to on ibogaine was native music from Gabon.  These selections are the ones that really affected me on the experience so I ask you to play these songs when reading this.  Maybe you will enjoy this music as much as I did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWf2amOxyCQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niC5UmWa3cs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFLFJTqmZY4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cRQ...NXQKnF1lXAVyjM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyJ0...A6068BCAA562F1

3/25/13
Addendum: 2C-C Challenge
(14mg 2C-C hcl via IM injection)

This was my first psychedelic experience post ibogaine rebirth.

Last night I miscalculated when dosed what I thought was a ‘challenge’ dosage of 2C-C. I was aiming for barely a ++ at most and I overshot by a long way.  So what was the challenge? In 2004 or so, when I was first becoming a daily narcotic user, I unwittingly discovered I could not take psychedelics anymore without also taking a full dosage of opiate-type drug alongside or I would suffer extreme withdrawal and could not actually enjoy the trip So three weeks post ibogaine (last night) I decided to challenge the idea I would need opiates to trip by taking the very same psychedelic that all those years ago brought on this notion of tripping with opiates.

In 2004, 16mg or so 2C-C (orally) brought on intense withdrawal, and required oxycodone to relieve it. The dose of 2C-C that I took (14mg via IM injection) last night did not produce any withdrawal symptoms.

When it came on I had to excuse myself, the lights and music were overpowering. I took a shower and meditated, then came out and enjoyed social interactions.  The trip itself was powerful and mentally cleansing. Insanely visual. Nothing like the primary colored visuals I got ibogaine recently. These powerful '2C-like' visual changes were neon-like, everything moving at high speed like a strobe like illuminating dancers. Insane long-lasting visuals from sensory information; I was in the dark and a lighter I flashed light up an area I needed to see for a few seconds after I extinguished the flame!

The full effects from the IM shot lasted the expected 3 hr, but absent was the 2-3hr come-up of oral administration. The come-up was very intense and I felt it within a minute or two or removing the syringe. Not for the novice, but it was easy to handle when I went to the shower and took away the annoying sensory information (the movie playing in the room). It is different from eating it, and this is not a replacement for the 'intense relaxation' of oral 2C-C...however efficient it may be.

Indeed it seemed I haven’t ‘tripped’ in ages like that, maybe tripping with a brain dulled by opiates for a decade made for some stale tripping, because I calculated 14mg to be on the low-side. For those not repulsed my a 'muscle shot', this is a valid and efficient method of taking 2C-C. Maybe 7-10mg would have been more suited for social interactions.

I was at a STRONG +++ and I love 2C-C.

Epilogue B:
3/13/13:

Now that it has been two weeks since my ibogaine experience has concluded, I feel much stronger about making sweeping announcements about the nature of the experience and what it did for me. As of today, I still make one or two new ‘epiphanies’ about my new-found sobriety and the feeling of being free makes me higher than damn near anything.

Life has become very busy for lack of a better term. I seem left with little time to write about my experience nearly two weeks ago. Because pressing life issues unrelated to the subject of this report are currently eating at me, I feel little time to sit around and feel the joy and inner peace I now have since the demon was exorcised from me. But in the interest of giving word to those wondering how things worked out for me, I am going to try to write about what happened.

The utter disbelief at how complete this ibogaine worked for me is finally starting to fade. Here is the thing…I obtained the ibogaine specifically to relieve myself of the physical withdrawal from 10 years of opiate abuse. I never expected (or believed) it was possible to completely erase the part of my brain that loved, desired, and sought out opiates at the expense of relationships, finances, and health. I figured I would be left to deal with the nagging desire to get warm and fuzzy for the rest of my existence. But it seems that I do not have to. It still feels a bit weird to type but I swear my readers it is completely true:

As of today, I have no desire to ever use opiates again.  The part of my brain that used to seek opiates for pain, pleasure, and all in between has been erased, reformatted, and no longer contributes to my programming.

To top it off, that pressing life issue (unrelated to MGS’s opiate addiction) I mentioned is giving me more stress now than I have ever experienced in my life. But not for a single second have I told myself that I can just buy some kratom or oxycodone and then things won’t bother me. The idea of taking an opiate to deal with my stress is absent, and even abhorrent to think about. It is as though the ibogaine went in and erased every opiate-taking instinct I ever had. This is nothing short of a miracle.

Finally some other unexpected observations post ibogaine therapy:

• I cannot smoke a cigarette. I still enjoy a puff from a pipe or smoking tobacco from a one-hitter but I have tried my own hand rolled (and expensive) tobacco and a friend’s Camels…and the results were the same….the taste nearly made me puke. Never expected this or even wanted it, but now it is so. No more tobacco smoking for MGS, save for a puff from a pipe.

• As of today, I cannot eat beef or pork but I still enjoy eating bird meat, dairy, and eggs. Where on earth this came from, I have no idea. I have no moral objections to eating meat and I am convinced humans were not meant to be vegans. But sure enough post ibogaine, I have not been able to eat beef or pork and when offered meat at dinner, I almost became sick at the idea. Holy shit! In addition, I stopped eating prepared foods and have essentially gone on a all raw, except for chicken at dinner or eggs for breakfast. My digestion is far healthier now, I feel better than I have ever felt, and I think I even look better.

• I do not seem to ‘need’ my amphetamine or lorazapam. The first couple days after taking the ibogaine I was extremely fatigued and resumed my dose of amphetamine in the morning and sleeper at night. But when my scripts ran out the other day I decided to try without. Sure enough all I seem to need now is a cup of coffee and I am working away. Sleep at night comes on its own, and I dream and awake refreshed. Now I cannot say I have no desire to ever use amphetamines or stimulants again. I still look forward to the way speed focuses me into music production, or helps me focus deeply on writing. But I do not feel like I ‘need’ amphetamine anymore and I am not sitting around longing for it now that my script is empty. Same with the lorazapam but every single reason I ever used benzodiazepines are no longer a reality for me so continuing to take one does not make sense. Hell, that means save for marijuana or other ‘noids’ I am now “drug free.” This was not something I expected from ibogaine or even wanted. But it now seems to be the reality.

I have always said (of people with addictions) that you haven’t quit until a year has gone by. Ok, so if I hold myself to that standard I can say that I am surer of anything that in a year I will still be free of narcotic addiction, and I will only be using other drugs with moderation. Ibogaine is more than a miracle isn’t it?

My best friend who was with me as I underwent this experience commented that he notices significant differences in my personality…this nearly two weeks past the therapy date. Specifically, the aura of sadness he ascribes to my personality is gone. He commented that I seem to have a new sense of optimism, even in the face of the new stressor I must now deal with, and a new ability to deal with life stressors that he never associated with my personality before.

3/5/13
Prologue:

It has been a while since I have written a trip report. Part of that is because I don’t take psychedelics much anymore, and I suppose part of that is because the rare times I do take one…it seems to be 2C-B or 2C-C. I love both of them, but neither tends to inspire me to write up compelling reports...they are very well known to me.

In the past year, I left my Colorado home to return to family and try to fix up the life I have all but managed to destroy for myself. The ever present struggle with opiates is a huge part of this ‘fixing up.’ I have been mostly free of opiates in recent months, but I suffer greatly from Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). I do not sleep more than a few hours a night (if at all), I live with constant anxiety and background stimulation. In the evening and at night I have no ability to relax and move past the constant tension my CNS and PNS make me live with. I have been unable to return to anything close to a normal sleep schedule, and unable to seriously consider looking for work while I am a sleep deprived zombie.

I first mentioned ibogaine to my family a year ago, and they were open to it. For reasons I still do not understand, I completely put it out of my mind soon after and all the months I had the money to buy grams of it…I never did. When I ran out of savings recently and had to quit buying kratom I went through some serious hell of withdrawal. Sure, that was not the same as withdrawal from prolonged heavy opium pod use, and nothing like withdrawal from suboxone….but it was still more serious than I realized it would be and one night at 3:00am while laying there wide awake, fighting off the thoughts of going to the shop to buy kratom when the sun rose…I suddenly thought of ibogaine again.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote this.
 

“I am now past the acute sickness, but I sleep very little. Sometimes I am up for days. I do not mentally crave opiates, but my cells still scream for them like a person drowning needs that oxygen. As more time goes by, I see the benefits of being sober but that demon in me makes this unrealistic. I also realize that the amphetamines and opiates kind of all fit together in my particular type of poly drug addiction. Maybe even the pot does too. Ok, I don’t think speed and pot are ‘addictive’ but they all do fit into a set of behaviors that always lead me back to opiate use, needle use, and finally giving up and wanting to die.

I’ve been aware of iboga since I was 13 and read of it in “Chocolate To Morphine.” And I have been thinking for months now of flooding my brain with ibogaine because nothing else in the past 10 years has ever moved me to help myself, nor have I ever been able to deal with the long term WD stuff. I don’t think I really think ibogaine can 'cure' me but I am hoping for a “level playing field” so my cells don’t drive me so crazy I end up doing things I regret (relapse). I think ibogaine can at least make the idea of staying away from habitual opiate use realistic to me, where as I have never been able to achieve that before. I hope ibogaine will give me a better chance to achieving a circumstance where the decisions I make will finally lead to the elusive “self- contained state of happiness.”
 

A wonderful soul from long ago who knew of my pitiful financial situation offered to pay for the ibogaine, and with his blessing I ordered it. A long 2 ½ week wait, the package finally arrived. I asked my friend (B) to spend the night and be there just in case, and finalized the plans to eat the ibogaine later that night.

Trip Report:

I took the first dose at about 1:50am on Friday. This was a 'test dose’ of about 150mg “Total Alkaloid” (TA) preparation containing about 60mg-75mg ibogaine hcl. I was surprised to note a definite alert within about 20 minutes and about an hour later, I was a good +1 ½ and all anxiety was gone; replaced with a warm positive feeling. The ibogaine felt friendly and at peaceful so I took the rest of my dose at 3:40am….1 gram of pure ibogaine hcl and ¾ gram of TA.

As soon as I swallowed it, I finished preparing around my bed for a long night…..found a long selection of Bwiti music looped to play indefinitely, then turned off the lights. No sooner did I do that, the experience began.

In the beginning, (visually at least) there was a strong resemblance to LSD. But with eyes closed, it was far more like a dream-state than any kind of LSD trip. In fact, it was similar to the brain movies that were a part of my one and only MMDA experience and was really impressed that Claudio Naranjo was able to pick up on this when he gave ibogaine, MMDA, and other materials in psychotherapy.

Suddenly, I was no longer in the room on the floor. With eyes closed, I could see shades of green that gradually became a discernible forest. I was traveling down towards the canopy of the trees, now past them and I approach the hills and valleys below. There were hundreds of people, maybe more, down there singling and drumming, and praying, and creating this energy that echoed and reverberated from everywhere around me. I was part of this huge ibogaine divination, there to experience it as one of the tribe. There was little time emotionally to reflect on this remarkable transformation of time and space.

Soon with eyes closed, I began to see masks and faces of people that I assume were Bwiti initiates. The images became more rapid and more detailed. Soon, the images changed from masks and faces to scenes more familiar to me. I was now a part of this inner show, instead of an observer. Sadly, the content of these visions is still completely fresh but I am at a loss to try to describe this phase of the trip. Gradually things began to intensify and the energy and buzzing began to light up all existence. Is this redemption? Is this forgiveness? At the height of the experience, my every sense became enveloped with the spirit of iboga. I could taste it in my tongue, I could smell it in my nose, and I could see it with me eyes, it was showing me its soul and make up through my closed eyelids. The iboga presented itself as yellow lines on a green background that gradually became more colored and detailed. Soon the images became words, information, stories that I could clearly read and absorb at the time. I had an experience on MMDA that was somewhat similar, but this was far more detailed and real.

This took place over a few hours until the sun came up. Suddenly I was back in my body and back in the room tripping my butt off. Only a few hours had gone by, but now I was clearly past the ‘visionary’ stage and moving into the ‘insight and reflection’ stage of the trip. Now that I was back in my body and back in the room, I could see the ibogaine visuals in full force and they were astounding. The visual effects were mostly LSD-like, but they had a unique in their own way. The tracers were insane, trails of trails of trails. There were also a lot of ‘DMT entities” or ‘gnomes’ that would stand around and suddenly dart out across the room. Such visual experiences may have been uncomfortable for some, but as a veteran of countless DMT trips, I found myself laughing at this, even trying to encourage the gnomes to jump on me.

Another interesting visual experience: I had a microphone stand around me that is quite tall and hits the ceiling when I move it. I saw what I assumed where black scuff marks all over the ceiling caused from this stand scratching up on the paint. During the height of the ibogaine experience, these black lines would move and sway with the music, and eventually they began to form words, messages, patterns. Later on Sunday, I looked up and realized there were no black lines on the ceiling.

I remained in this state for the remainder of the day. At the time, not much seemed to be happening…it was mostly a typical psychedelic comedown. I felt relaxed, giddy, enveloped by a feeling beyond myself, and flooded by mind blowing visual distortions. This seemed like mere amusement but about 24hr after the first dose, I noticed a feeling that I have not felt since I was stable on my suboxone in 2006...I was not worried nor was I even thinking about the coming withdrawal. Even during the years I was on the suboxone, there was always the background noise of appointments, co pays, refills, etc, etc etc. There is also an amazingly relaxed body feeling; the tension, background stimulation, disharmony, tiredness, fatigue is nonexistent at the moment.

Even the past few months of being mostly opiate free (save for a prescription of Percocet and codeine after some dental procedures), I still dealt with constant residual ‘post acute withdrawal symptoms.’ These were mostly tolerable during the day, but when I was alone at night I would constantly think about how I felt, and how much I knew I would feel better if I got opiates for the next day.

Ibogaine’s Nature:

Having taken the other dose of TA, and understanding how ibogaine feels in the body compared to the total alkaloid product; I now have more insight into the chronology and nature of the ibogaine experience. The ibogaine at any dose seems to be felt within 20-30 minutes, quickly reaches a peak at about the 1 1/2hr point. This is what many call the ‘visionary’ stage and stays there for a few hours. On the surface I was reminded most of LSD. At the high dose I took (about 1 1/2grams of ibogaine), the experience was at least as strong as 200ug LSD.

The first effects were felt within 20-30 minutes and were fully developed by the 1 ½ hr point.  It felt “indole psychedelic-like” to me, it had a clear relationship to the world of LSD, especially with the rocket-like launch to a peak and also with open eyes, the visual movement and distortions were more like LSD than anything else.  But when I closed my eyes, the experience bore no relation to LSD.  Then I would go into a dream-like state where my subconscious mind became the entire experience.  My sense of self was in a forest in Gabon, but I was free to drift off with this teacher, Iboga, and mind-meld with it.

The peak or ‘visionary’ state lasted a good two or three hours and then the effect became more one with my body and surroundings as it entered the ‘insight’ stage.  I could still drift on and off to the deep sub consciousness, or I could keep my eyes open, play with the visual effects (which were very strong), or think about the specific events of the trip.  This lasted about 20 hr at which point I realized I was not in withdrawal anymore and I felt like I did before becoming addicted.

The effect then entered the ‘reflection’ state where I could absorb what happened and this continued (with visuals that did die down gradually) for another 24hr or so.  The entire trip did last the advertised “2 days” but at no point was it exhausting, overwhelming, or unpleasant.  I loved the way iboga/ibogaine felt and it is something I would not hesitate to revisit.  I did vomit about 4 hr into the trip, but it was not forced or unpleasant…I don’t even think I was nauseous for more than a second or two.

At no time was there any feeling of ‘physical roughness’ and nothing even approaching ‘residual stimulation.’ I would even add that at the dose I took, ibogaine was less speedy than even just 40mg of my scripted amphetamine preparation.  Ibogaine had a push to it, no doubt.  But it wasn’t speedy.  Perhaps it was 'stimulating' in the way LSD can be, or even mescaline, but it never once for a second felt 'amphetamine-like.'  All in all it was generally relaxing more than not.

Mentally, there were a lot of personal issues that cycled in my head...including many things I have consciously blocked myself from realizing for years. I basically relived a lot of painful past events and current realities as though there were new fresh experiences. While it was difficult, it was never torturous. These feelings are a part of who I am and I was allowed to re-experience and relive all the trauma associated with them. It was painful to go through but necessary.

Indeed, the 'opiate addict' aspect the ibogaine experience seemed to work on a completely subconscious level. During the trip, I really wasn't ever made to focus on it. Perhaps I even stopped thinking about it until that 24hr period when I first noted I was not feeling any WD.

Initial Conclusions:
In retrospect, there are so many misconceptions about ibogaine that it is ridiculous. The constant (incorrect) theme I read is that iboga is some dangerous, harrowing psychedelic, only for hardcore addicts, that produces a trip no one would want to undertake except in the most extreme situations (like opiate dependency.)

I think the problem is that outside of the Bwiti context, 90% of what you read about iboga is related to using it to treat addicts. And addicts often take other drugs (and hide it) and addicts are often not as healthy as non addicts and all of these factors effect the outcome of ibogaine treatment.

And whether ibogaine can stop acute withdrawal in 45 minutes or not....going into a psychedelic trip while in withdrawal is going to be rough...no way around that. It is slightly discouraging to see so many overlook what iboga may have to offer because there is SO MUCH misconception surrounding this magic plant. Iboga is THE psychedelic plant if there ever was one. Iboga CAN be euphoric. Iboga CAN be fun, it CAN induce a ++++ resulting in 48hr post bliss/feelings of being reborn. Fun and euphoria are not a negative outcome either...sometimes it seems like psychonauts think they should not be having fun, or that 'fun trips' = not serious/recreation. Wrong. Fun = important for happy life.

Really, I've been studying ibogaine fairly extensively now and I can say that even with all of the reading I did, all the preparation I did....I knew nothing of what I was in for until I took it. When I did ibogaine, it was so VERY different from what I expected. That people who have never taken it are telling others how long it lasts, that they will 'lose all connection with reality', etc is a little annoying. While those things may happen at time during the ibogaine trip, the words simply do not convey the real nature of the ibogaine experience at all. Not for 99% of the people I have spoken with who tried it. Certainly 300ug LSD causes way more 'unreality' than even 1 1/4g ibogaine hcl.

And I will even go so far as to say a smallish dose of ibogaine (150-200mg) is more fun and euphoric than a low dose LSD trip....but that is just me.

12
Eboka Journals / Re: Flooded with wisdom
« on: March 24, 2013, 06:19:50 PM »
Beautiful report.  I still am in extreme afterglow and somewhat in disbelief at how well ibogaine 'works' for whatever you may need it for.  It is very wonderful to read of others who find this spirit in a shrub as life giving as I do.

13
Eboka Journals / Re: Iboga flood spiritual purposes. The long road.
« on: March 22, 2013, 03:59:48 PM »
Two weeks past iboga therapy, the lessons taught are not only still fresh, but I still have one or two new epiphanies every day about how my life changed/will change/has changed.  I did not think the iboga 'worked' for me until a good 48hr later, and even then I don't think I accepted that it 'worked' for a good week.

And I know I will have to be 'mindful' on a daily basis as to what iboga showed me for it to keep working.  Given my age and how much life I have wasted as a hopeless drug addict, I plan on taking micro-dosages of root for my remaining days and plan to 'flood' at least one a year for now on.  I don't feel I need it, but I also feel iboga is health food and I can't hurt anything by continuing to sigh up for it's classes.

I have so much love and respect for this plant and for what it has returned to me (my life) that if I were ever to say I have a 'God' my God is a shrub from Gabon.

Much love

14
Staying Clean / Re: Ahh F-it, I'll Post This
« on: March 20, 2013, 05:48:47 PM »
I don't know if you are still reading but I know how you feel.  I have been drug addicted (opiates, amphetamine, lorazapam) for the better part of the past 10 years.  I really don't think I wanted to quit, or was comfortable with the idea.  Like you, drugs (opiates specifically) became a part of my identity.  The idea of life without that vital part was incomprehensible.  I obtained ibogaine I think so I could say "I tried everything."  At most, I admitted to family and friends that ibogaine could not cure me but maybe it would help 'reset' my CNS and relieve the "PAWS" I suffered.

Two weeks post ibogaine I am 100% drug free (save for cannabis), have no desire to ever take opiates again, and get higher than almost anything thinking about how good I feel sober.

Don't give up.  Ibogaine works better than you can imagine.

15
Flooding / Re: Definition of a flood
« on: March 20, 2013, 04:58:34 PM »
I could not imagine my ibogaine experience being as moving to me if I didn't 'trip.'  I am sure for some, stacking, microdosing, or 18-MC is a better choice, but for any able minded adult looking for healing...the trip is a vital part of the experience.

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