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Eboka Talk / Re: Advice for beginner.
« on: January 06, 2011, 02:26:45 AM »
I recently sat with a man who had bark only for his flood. We powdered it well, and he ate approx 5g every twenty minutes. We put it on a folded paper and he poured it to the back of his mouth, followed by the tiniest sip of water. When we reached 40g, he vomited immediately upon taking the dose. This was his second flood, no addictions this time save nicotine. He is approx 90kg. The bark was approx 5%.

The session was beautiful, vitals stable the whole time, much somatic and emotional healing. Lasted 36h.

I conferred with someone who has done many, many bark only sessions, it was conveyed to me, and I witnessed, that the dose will self limit through vomiting.

As a sitter/guide/therapist whatever, I have never felt more comfortable with someone going through a session.

Edited for addition of information.

Eboka Journals / Re: 7 months after Ibo
« on: December 28, 2010, 01:50:23 AM »
That was so wonderful!!! My gawd, man, amazing!!!!

Thank you for that candid recap. You have been through so much, changed so much. It's warming in the extreme to hear where you're at now.


General Discussion / Re: christmas
« on: December 27, 2010, 02:36:45 PM »
I like winter holidays.

As sis said, I have the choice to be an asshole, to get drunk, to overeat, to hate. Or not.

This western society has very few meaningful rituals anymore. I don't mind winter holidays for giving, for loving, for celebrating.  It's been done around this time for thousands of years.
I have chosen not to let the consumerist garbage get to me. I'm not christian, so I don't let that bother me, either.

But I do know a lot of people who also so believe in muck of media and conditioning that they also get angry, too. You can decide what this time of the year is for, and you can decide how you feel about it. How cool is that?

Eboka Talk / Re: starting treatment . . . with a forum member
« on: December 27, 2010, 02:12:31 PM »
Love to you all, light to you all. Right here, right now.


Introductions / Re: Hello from Pandora
« on: December 21, 2010, 01:24:00 AM »
I Have So Much Unlearning To Do

Love it. Me, too.


Eboka Journals / Re: First flood
« on: December 19, 2010, 08:51:47 PM »
Right on, rho. Love, love to you. Welcome back.

I'm in MX with someone who just went through their flood w bark. I see that the other alks work synergistically w each other, that one does not need enormous amounts. I see that it is a very deep process, and provides much healing.

My twingy thing says hush now, so I will.


Eboka Journals / Re: no free will - my daemons are back, and strong
« on: December 16, 2010, 12:12:34 PM »
Soooo, in our families of origin we were exposed to circumstances growing up which caused in us chemical reactions. We were exposed to, perhaps, situations which caused us fear, pain, disillusionment, dissociation, etc. We became wired for these things.
When we change up our lives, the wiring still exists, we can be addicted to the emotional states we grew up with, and can create situations in our lives which replicate the same flood of feelings.

Of course, I may be WAY off, for you. But are these feelings you have brand new? If not, what is the earliest memory you have which feels the same? What was going on around you? To me, it sounds like you are very close to some very old 'issues', and so, very close to healing, potentially.

"i need a gameplan for my flood. i need to establish my power, win this war - with ripping love. tearing my daemons apart. my will shall rule. for good. once and for all."

Man, oh. This is the complete opposite of surrender. In this I read complete fear of surrender. What would happen if you embraced your daemons? Loved them and thanked them? Gently asked them to make room for what you are getting closer to? What would happen if you asked them to teach you? To show you what they need?

What if there was no war? What if there was nothing to rail against? What if.

I hear that you are very close to a great pain and have great fear.
This also means you are very close to the possibility of healing.

What would happen if you consciously chose not to do dishes, to clean, etc. What would happen if you stopped judging yourself? What if you let go entirely of expectations?

I dunno.


I wonder at the things people find valuable.

A post on here about what pills to take for anxiety/pick-a-feeling gets TONS of responses. A post on how to gently and ethically be an effective conduit for healing falls dead in the water. The article is really amazing. Any one of the 14 items could be a topic on it's own. The web site is also very interesting. The article speaks to self knowledge, humility, self care and awareness. Good stuff, to me, important stuff. Important stuff for anyone who wants to work with this medicine (Iboga, I'm talking about Iboga), if they aren't there already. It's a great checklist.

I find myself coming here less and less. I'm okay with it. I just get angry so often here. Just frustrated, like, you are missing the point of all this.....fuck, seriously. I no longer want to hear about people's regular drug excursions, or how to take pills to do away with thoughts and feelings, or about who can take more of what and not feel a thing. Maybe the forum has always been like this and it's me who is changing. I'm cool with that, too.

Anyway, amazing link, skinny. Thank you again.

Tia in a gravelly mood.

General Discussion / Re: Planning Iboga ceremony with TA
« on: December 15, 2010, 01:45:56 AM »
Beautiful, Ryu.

Welcome back.


General Discussion / Re: Farewell Ree!
« on: December 14, 2010, 11:37:43 AM »
Great post. Wonder what she's doing now? Getting high and having sex? :D

Love to you.

General Discussion / Re: HEALING
« on: December 14, 2010, 11:33:49 AM »
Quicksilver kisses to you, my mirror.

Very nicely put. Excellent link.

Eboka Journals / Re: Advices needed for a flood dose
« on: December 10, 2010, 04:28:02 PM »

Eboka Journals / Re: Advices needed for a flood dose
« on: December 10, 2010, 02:21:43 PM »
So, how's it going?

Why low dose RB first?

Are you going to ramp the doses? What is your target dose?

What's her regular heart rate and BP?

Why do you say it's a tricky situation?

How much was she on per day of the opes?

Do you have TA or PTA? What percentage?

More questions than answers, I know.

You are in my thoughts, as is she.

Eboka Journals / Re: First Eboga Experience !!
« on: December 09, 2010, 11:38:24 AM »
All makes perfect sense to me. :)

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