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Messages - goatboy

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1
Eboka Journals / No eboka this time..
« on: March 20, 2016, 01:59:55 PM »
Just so you know, I wrote this as part of an assignment for my IOP group.

The “Force”

   My force is a result of numerous events, as I would think most peoples are.  I had hit rock bottom before, lost my girlfriend, my job, my place, and then my car. Left with nothing but a deep 5 year addiction to oxycontin, perks, as well as heroin in the end. It was only at that point that I apparently was ready to get clean by any means. I tried methadone, suboxone, both of which I hated and mostly tried to sell for a better high. AA and NA meetings triggered me to want to go and get high more than anything too. I then turned to psychedelics hoping it could help give me the insight and power to stop. That mostly turned into more partying with friends and ultimately turning to pills or dope to come down with. I knew I had to find a way, I had overdosed twice by this point and didn’t even care. After being dismissed from the hospital both times, I instantly left to go get high against anyones advice.
   With time I found a way that I believed to be the answer for myself, I had met someone that had gotten clean through a particular interesting psychedelic, iboga. After much research I was sold on it. It took me months to obtain, and in the time being I turned to heroin bad, something that was not a drug I used much before even while being very addicted to pain pills. I felt so ashamed of myself, I wanted out. It wasn’t enjoyable anymore, the most I could get out of it was numb for a brief moment, the euphoria that brought me in ceased to exist by this point. I just couldn’t handle the withdrawals and cravings, knowing that I could feel ok with a simple phone call.
   A couple months later I was able to obtain what I had been seeking in my waking moments, iboga. The root bark from an african plant was my plan to change my life. I had took this drug, in order to break my habit from the drug I was addicted to. I knew it seemed ironic, and it took several attempts, but amazingly it worked. It changed my life completely. It felt like a spiritual awakening, I had little to no withdrawal, the urges stopped miraculously, and the desire to live my life drug free began.
   I was clean for about two years, went back to school and became the manager at a new local restaurant in that time. During that time, I even got a script of perks for having wisdom teeth pulled, took them as prescribed and didn’t continue them or abuse them. I had felt powerful over my addiction now. Then I blew my knee out skateboarding, falling down a 10 stair rail. I saw a doctor and started receiving 120 30mg perks a month, I hated that I was getting such a script but felt I could control it. I didn’t even take them at first, I took ibuprofen and Advil and got rid of the perks as quickly as I could for extra income. I still felt I was in control, but it was only a matter of time that I took one. That time was a couple months into still getting this prescription, then I took another a couple days later, before I knew it I’d be out my whole script and back to buying pills from friends. I couldn’t even hold onto my script for a week before it’d be gone, mostly all consumed by myself, I had realized I lost control again.
   I went back to iboga, and I’d get clean again. I’d remain sober for a period of 7 months, 3 months, 5 months, but I always relapsed again. No one could tell for sure if I had a continuous problem, I’d prove to them I was clean when it looked like I had one. And I would get clean. it was pretty much hidden since doing psychedelics were nothing new to my friends and I on occasion. This pattern continued for the next 2 years. It felt like I had the way to get sober in my back pocket at all times, so if I relapse I can just clean up whenever I begin to lose control. It was from this that I became a master of manipulating myself but in a very unhealthy way. Of course I knew even then that it was a horrible way to go about a drug habit, and in fact not a smart plan at all to stay clean.
   Somehow I managed my way through college for Mechanical Design Engineering until I received a certificate just short of my degree but got a good job in the AudioVisual field as a CAD Design Specialist. I’ve enjoyed the work I did with the job, and was clean the majority of my time there. But I relapsed a couple times now with this job, and it was becoming a huge problem to balance my drug problem along with all the responsibilities of life and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I got a new job offer recently, I thought it may bring a new opportunity in my life. I decided I’d resign from my job, have a week to get clean again, and start this new job. Well my employer gave me a heavy counter-offer to stay when I tried to quit. More money, more PTO, a new office, and so I decided I’d stay.
   I started to resent my job, I felt I wasn’t getting much appreciation or support from a couple of my co-workers, and I was starting to use way too much now. It was getting out of control. I was surprised I was never addressed once about anything, although I knew I was falling apart inside and outside. I couldn’t find the time to get clean, and now a new problem, I lost contact with my reliable supplier for iboga to get clean. I became lost for an answer and just kept working through it not knowing what’s to come.
   Work was becoming stressful, we had two engineers and myself. The senior engineer was overwhelmed with the amount of work that was expected of us and resigned. It was then that I took on the majority of his responsibilities. The other engineer got the role of senior engineer though, and himself and I had never seen eye to eye to much. We didn’t have too good of a working relationship. It was shortly after I had attempted to put in my two weeks but decided to stay that I overheard speculation of my attempt of resigning. I overheard the other engineer arguing on the phone with someone that if I wanted to quit, to just let me quit. It made me feel unwanted even with the fact that the owner had attempted to make me feel wanted, or else just possibly needed at least for the time being. I went to HR to discuss this, after I overheard those words I talked to our HR department and requested the rest of the day off. I could not put my mind on my work when I felt that I wasn’t wanted there by who I’m suppose to work with the most.
   I left work that day and couldn’t find any pills, I settled for heroin. I had some money so I had got quite a bit of it. I used about half of it the remainder of the day. I remember talking to my ex-girlfiend that day as well but wasn’t too sure of what I said or what we talked about. But my current girlfriend did, she had my iPad which relayed all of my iMessages. I had told my ex-girlfriend I was single and bring her ass on over to have some fun. I ultimately almost got together with her and who knows what would of happened, but chances are I might have cheated on my girlfriend. I believe I passed out before we were able to meet up, it was quite pathetic and I still don’t understand my motives for it. I don’t want anything to do with my ex-girlfriend, she was a compulsive lier and that’s why we broke up. My girlfriend came over very upset, frustrated, crying, broken-hearted, knowing the conversation that had happened. She let me have it, told me off, hit me.. and I took it, I felt such shame and only apologized. I still didn’t even remember the majority of it, she had known more about what I had tried to do than myself. I was caught red-handed and all I could do was be as open as I could and apologized a million times. After trying to talk to my girlfriend, she didn’t want to hear it, I understood. I’ve been cheated on before. She wanted her space, and I resorted to use the rest of the dope I had left. I tried to talk to her once more, she still wanted her space, I decided to give her that and went to my room and passed out. When I came to the next morning my girlfriend was still there, she hadn’t left me yet. Although I wasn’t sure if I deserved it, I had some hope. I told her of my increasing habit of doing pills and dope although she obviously had her suspicions considering how high I’d be almost every single day and night. I had wanted to get clean now for over a month by now but I had a new problem. The way I got clean was no longer available, my method as I knew it to my problem was unavailable. I was so lost for answers, but my girlfriend suggested I seek help. For the first time in a long time I had health insurance, being out of dope and wanted to take some kind of action we talked about it. I had talked to her and my mother about my drug problem and admitted to them both that I needed help but didn’t know how. They both suggested I detox at a facility, I wasn’t aware it was a option, but with health insurance I took a look at it and agreed to give it a try.
   My girlfriend stayed with me as I lied in bed hesitantly to go to this detox inpatient program, I didn’t know what to expect at all really. It was then that I went in, already withdrawing bad. So far the program far exceeded my expectations and I am now clean again, without using a drug to get clean for the first time.


2
General Discussion / Re: IBOGA FATALITY MYSTERY --- LQTS - WARNING
« on: July 06, 2013, 06:16:08 PM »
Thanks for the info. What's the process like to check for that?

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Eboka Talk / Re: How much TA = 300mg rootbark?
« on: July 06, 2013, 06:09:40 PM »
Guess I didn't think of your weight or bodies tolerance to it. Those were very rough numbers, just ones that work for me. .5 of IW TA is a good booster for myself but I've always needed/benefited off a higher dose healthily from my experiences.

But yes I could imagine, sry that's most likely too high a booster for most. Do what you know works for you.

4
I'd say Michelle is pretty good at recommendations BUT she can only go off the small amount of info that you tell her. She normally doesn't know your whole life story and probably too busy to look into every aspect of it all.. which I can't blame her. It's just ones recomendation, regardless how experienced. So to inerate what was said above, never just do ONE individuals recommendation, do your research. And extensively! You know your body and mind the best, others can only suggest and go off details you supply, but it's simply too hard too give every aspect of your medical and drug interaction history. If so, everyone could prolly write or have a book of all thier medical information that most simply just don't have the time to look over unless you got a lot of money to put into it. So keep asking reliable sources (I'd say Michelle is def one, but ask more ppl too!), and make your own decision leaving nothing thoroughly thought through as hard as that may be.

And I agree, if your taking 200mg the day before, be careful because a good chunk of that will still be in your system still the next day no doubt. So count that in before you calculate the next days dose, be careful, mostly just be smart about it. And having a little extra is way better than not enough, if your gone in flood levels before you can finish that last little amount.. You got a booster in your back pocket if needed post-flood ;)

- Gb

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Eboka Talk / Re: How much TA = 300mg rootbark?
« on: July 05, 2013, 11:59:22 AM »
Microdose.. I'd say around .1 per dose, .05 if you wanna be super cautious. But micro dosing never gave me, (personally, I know everyone is different), too much benefit.

I'd take a day that you have free, all responsibilities done so no worries, and just take the .5 as a booster. Or .25, .3, whatever your knowledge leads you to believe will be the most beneficial. Possibly with an natural enhancer, wether supplements or other that is tried, and proven effective by the many knowledgable ppl here.

Best wishes and may she treat you good!

- Gb

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"The British National Formulary makes no mention of adverse interactions of piracetam and MAOIs; renal impairment and treatment with the anticoagulant wasrfarin are mentioned as being hazardous. Piracetam is licensed in the UK as an adjunct in the treatment of myoclonus of cortical origin, which kind of makes sense when you consider the structural similarities betweden this and GABA."

Since I'm just curious and don't recall the answer to this, are MAOIs proven safe or not safe with flooding and such?

I haven't seen anything saying to avoid them specifically but it does interact with a good amount of medicines, including a similar pysch causing an overflow of serotonin which seems like it could cause a very unpleasant experience. I wouldn't be surprised if it was much better than SSRIs, but since I don't know, I'm still skeptical how safe it is.

And do you or anyone have any experience or further knowledge about taking Piracetam? Sounds kind of interesting.. I've never heard of that one till now but don't know much about it besides looking at a google search or 2 of it briefly..

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Eboka Talk / Re: IMO: Iboga can save Lifes..
« on: February 05, 2013, 08:03:38 AM »
Thanks for chipping in BlueTiger and missjess :) and of course lala!

MissJess -

Did you flood for addiction or enlightenment?

That's awesome it's working so good for you!

Were you on any medications pre-flood? Feel free to link your story if you want, or just sum it up in a nutshell here, I haven't read it yet  :-\
This medicine is far more powerfull then an anti depressant

YES

I have never felt anything like this.  The amount of re-wiring that has happened in this time, my new perspective, new chemistry, new behavior patterns, new synaptic firing, I am aware, awake, alive and on fire, and I still know there is so much work to do.  BUT I WANT TO LIVE!!!  I am once again amazed by our world, by the natural world, the wonders of the psychedelic world, love and all the fruits and surprises of this life. 

I know the feeling, nothing compares to that. For me, it feels like it literally Lights my full brain up, makes everything bright again, it is a true reawakening. Go out and enjoy it man! And pass some love around our psychedelic world  8)


I don't think there is enough research to say what drugs one can and can not be one when using Iboga,  I think right now, until we know more we should say that anyone using SSRI's or SSRNI"s or anything that we don't know that is safe, .. It seems that most of the people who have claimed here recently to have a bad experience while using Iboga for mental issues have had these drugs still in their system, so again I think we should advise anyone on these drugs, not to use Iboga, for the time being anyway.

I completely agree with you. There isn't enough research and understanding of our own situations, conditions, and also that some of our bodies react differently.. increasingly so with the more drugs you mix in before or even during iboga. And consider a lot of people come to iboga already badly sick, as a last hope, for there's a huge lack of information to the masses of it's proven results in addiction and therapy, but methadone is ok and very accessible if your trying to quit opiates.

But yes, I believe anyone on SSRI's or it's close relatives should not pursue to flood with this medicine anytime soon, and cautious if planning to quit them to take this medicine. But if interested can always taper off, and wait a good while to know where one's at mentally and feeling emotionally, Very Important. In the meantime, it's a bad idea to mix those anti-depressants in any close time frame with iboga. I believe there's been conclusive research on that, but I wasn't able to find a good one just doing a quick search. I advocate if that's your issue, please research on it extensively. At worst, you'll learn a lot about the drug that your consuming every single day, possible other natural remedies, and maybe ways it affects your life that your not currently aware of. Healthier than watching tv, right? I think so

I know there's been plenty people that have flooded with or right after finishing their SSRI's, I'm sure it CAN be successful but your really taking a risk there.
_______

" .. Because ibogaine is one of the many drugs that are partly metabolized by the cytochrome P450 complex, caution must be exercised to avoid foods or drugs that inhibit CP450, in particular foodstuffs containing bergamottin or bergamot oil, common ones being grapefruit juice."

Now I'm not sure about this one, I'm not sure grapefruit juice would be harmful enough to avoid at all costs but considering that grapefruit juice will cause the ibo to metabolize differently, I'd avoid it prior. Anyone know anything on the +/- effects, if any, when grapefruit juice is in the system while dosing?


As far as what we know about Iboga and the brain,  I hope more research is done.  IMO it really repaired my brain from a lot of damage I did to it over the years.   

I hope so too. By the way, Thank You lala for your kind words and input as well as that link was an interesting read but it can go over my head too a bit at parts. So iboga has a built in safener mechanism for protecting against it's OWN neurotoxic side effects, I know it's just a study and it's proving good there. I hope it keeps spreading along in the direction of facts and logic. We have learned so much just in this past decade it's amazing, and to think we and people around the world are still chipping away at the tip of this iceburg.. I wish the best in the next decade for more to come :) Although with them creating solution for being able to flood without any hallucinating, would it still have the strong therapeutic benefits? That right there could help those detox that do have strong mental issues and stop suffering while being sick or high. Possibly..  The physical parts, as far as heart, liver, EKG scan, etc.. I don't know much about that but definitely the first thing to make sure is in order.




I hope we can get members to be honest on what they are taking, for how long and if they are able to quit them, before we consider recommending  Iboga.  I also hope that there is more research on this, ..  I also know that there have been other drugs that people have had bad interactions with as well, and I hope we can document some of these ..  I hope others have something to add as well,  I think it is an important topic. 


That'd be a great start, I feel that some come just wanting to take some control of their life again, rather than letting dope beating them up and down every single day, can come here pretty honest and put it all on the table. Although just as many come and aren't completely open about everything that's relevant, and that can be very dangerous for their selfs. Although I understand why you just can't say everything here, but there's messages, calling, and there is a lot of loving people here and around the world that I think would be fine with sharing their knowledge or advice for one just attempting to heal oneself. This is like a supernatural medicine, you really got to be honest about what other drugs are in your system. I know many of us have used drug cocktails a plenty in our lifetimes, this is WAY different. And you won't need a cocktail after, water will be fine.



As far as other medications that seem to have a bad interaction with Iboga, one I read about recently was with Evolutionfone and Sulfasalazine.  It put him in the hospital and the story was scary.

Sorry it's 5am and I'm getting a little sleepy, what are those drugs used for? Never heard of them.


Your link brings up more questions for me now, like does iboga posses a power that possibly prevents killing brain cells? or regain damaged brain cells?

I'd start here and put my questions back down but the reverse way, like could it possibly improve your coordination and senses if you use it right?

But I'm asking questions with no close to absolute answers really. I just think with how many people are on this forum now, we probably wouldn't get all the answers but I bet we could get quite a bit of good info, and make an outline that can be sent for studies once it's legal everywhere in the world  ;D


If anyone has heard of other specific incidences with specific meds, other than ones we have talked about, or are already commonly known, and have read this, please add.  Thank You.


Yes, please do. Cite Resources (or Links) for extra points  ;) and thank you!

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Eboka Talk / Re: IMO: Iboga can save Lifes..
« on: February 02, 2013, 04:24:22 AM »
Thanks lala, I'm glad I'm not the only one intrigued on this topic. I've been reading some negative experiences about microdosing as well as flooding, but it's very often somehow seems to be connected to mental health meds and/or issues. Besides the serotonin activity and a few other small factors, even doctors don't know what it's fully doing to your brain exactly.. at least to my understanding and I've been seeing doctors for over a decade now for anxiety related issues that arose well before I even got to have any of the fun of good drug experiences. And they always insist prescribing SSRI's, as I look around and see that the clipboard, pen, office supplies are all FROM (labeled) the certain SSRI drug I'm getting talked into. It struck me as suspicious but I gave a couple a honest shot when I was younger, and I never felt so blank in the mind. With 2 different kinds of them (different times as well of course), I felt suicidal for the first times of my life, it was very surreal and scary. It was then I knew SSRI's were not for me and stopped immediately. I've even tried about 5 from the pharm companies to doctor marketing techniques, but I'll pass on any of them easily for it doesn't work to any benefit in my brain and body. I still get offered them and have to explain for a half hour of why I'd really not like to go that route from previous circumstances. Always get a 'well, there's so many, you just gotta find the one for you', No thanks, I'm not even nor have I ever been irrationally depressed! But I do feel for those that are depressed, and know that it benefits some. What could those people do when also addicted to other drugs and trying to detox? It's not too rare of a thing it seems. I don't see too much good stories of just stopping their anti-depressants they've been on for however long. You'd think that if it stops some of your brains thoughts, although sometimes neccessary, if you just stopped, wouldn't those bad thoughts you weren't able to control before even come back enhanced especially at first because the real problem hasn't really or fully been addressed, rather mostly just covered up and hiden. And that's a common issue it seems, I wish there was an easy answer for that one.

But yes, SSRI's I understand also has negative interactions with iboga. All of them? Most at least I'm guessing? Is there any research or source on SSRI's interaction with Iboga? That could wipe mixing those 2 medicines off, as to be safe and not worsen any health conditions. But what's a good alternative for those people? And which other mental health drugs should be on or off that list, which should be ok'd beside benzo's? With so many drugs on the streets and prescription drugs makes for a very complex issue to just be able to heal yourself properly to a natural state of being.

Although I know very limited, if any reliable sources of related information on these topics, I think that would be a great start.. You'd think this has been studied in much detail by others. I have yet to see much myself, but with new drugs being created every month at least, one could only imagine how complex it is and rather just say no SSRI's whatsoever, and NO anti-depressents, or other absolute no's for healing. My believe that not much is absolute, leads me to believe theirs much more to be known and I don't see much effort by the masses to find the answers for our own critical healing. A lot of these people have so much potential, but addiction is like taking ones freedom and rational thinking away. It can be reversed, I really believe so but it will take time, and much much more awareness. How low does one have to go before getting back to logical thinking? There's plenty of effort and money put into endless wars, if only a fraction was put towards healing our wellness as living beings of all sorts. Anyways, not trying to go there, back to the topic. How much research is there with these kind of situations? And how available is it if any true scientific information is out there? For iboga isn't just a physical medicine, it covers so much and very much to do with the brain which we are still learning about to this day..

9
Compost Pile / Re: Please help me ;(
« on: February 01, 2013, 10:05:06 PM »

1) Is this even a good idea to do at home? I mean, I get the impression that  a lot of posters here do.. but are you maybe doing at home for motive of like, personal development and expansion or like say for instance um... well.. lets just say for reasons other than getting clean from a completely debilitating addiction. Are there any major do's and don't that one should know? That any reasonably intelligent person wouldn't think of on their own.. (you can skip the advice of don't have your sitter run in your room with a chainsaw and hockey mask, etc)

2) I'm about 160lbs, 5'10", 31 years old. I WAS incredibly fit lets say 8 months ago... But I've become physically stagnant pretty much since then. Aside from that  I have no real health complications to speak of... save for things to do with the abuse of my habit.. (Intense constipation, irregular sleep patterns, nasal infections, etc)
Exactly what and how much of it do you think I should be consuming? I thought there was just really one product, but after skimming these forums it seems that theres all sorts of different types of iboga product that people consume.. (Bark? HCI? TA?) The vendor that I had spoken to suggested "Most of my customers order 5g Ibogaine TA. Some of it is used as a test, a flood and boosters. Reports are 2.5-3g for a flood." does that sound accurate?

While we're on the subject of that 3) Exactly when should I consume it and how much? It sounds like I want to take a good strong flood and two boosters after that? I've learned you want to really let you habit go before flushing.. as in.. wade into withdrawl as deep as you can before you flush, right? But so I flush (better night or day, and how much? I've seen different figures in different places. 8/kg? 15/kg? 17/kg?)

4) Vendor suggestions? I live in Canada.. so I THINK that everything I'm talking about in regards to iboga is legal, ya? I had been speaking to someone at cerberusextract.com, who pointed me in this direction actually... who I just noticed is your sponsor, so I'm sure no one has anything TERRIBLE to say about them, right? haha.

5) I don't need to be like, physically restrained or anything, right? I saw a video of a guy on youtube like, in the effects of a full flush, but that was just one clip, one flush. How intense do people get? Am I likely to just lie in bed the whole time? Or is it possible (likely?) that Ill get up and walk around and stuff..?

6) I should take a bunch of graval first,? Or any other form of anti-nausea? Yay? Or nay?

7) Do they do anything in a ibogaine clinic hat I should be doing at home? In one person getting treated I saw his sitter asking the guy being treated a bunch of questions like "why is it you think you abuse drugs?"  "what do you think you'll have to do to stay clean once you get clean a week from now?" and I read somewhere as well saying that it helps if the subject writes the questions themselves? Anything else that should be done when doing your treatment?

8 ) How to I tell my parents I relapsed and I've been lying to them about it? When I know its going to break their hearts and cause them to lose a lot of the very little to no faith they have left in me? ;(

9) Anything else you think I should know? I've been up all night.. and I'm literally nodding off for a few min here and there as I'm typing this, so I've prob forgotten a thing or two and I'm sure  my writing has progressively gotten worse towards the end of this. Anyways, yeah, I'll check back when I wake up this evening and see what I forgot to ask and hopefully there might be some informed 1st hand experience here waiting for me...

Umm.. yeah. Thanks so much in advance? Really hoping to get some good info here that I can use to help me get sober and done with this for good.. In a lot of ways I feel like ibogaine is my last shot  at getting clean, so yeah, hope this works.. Again, cheers, thanks for reading all this if you've gotten this far ;O

-M

1) I would say it would be fine to do it at home, as long as it's a place you'd feel comfortable with for say a week without negative interuptions. That's why most have done it at home, saves money too ;) If you feel comfortable doing it somewhere else that's peaceful, stressfree, affordable, and would be better off than your home with researched knowledge, then by all means go there.

2)TA is probably the best bang for your buck, I'd go ~2-2.5gms HCL under your circumstances if affordable, and also important to have another gram just in case your not at full flood. Of course a little for the test and for boosters is very good to know you have by your side as/if needed. Or get 2 HCL and 1 TA to save a little money. TA is just slightly more rough route for what your doing, but if your experienced with pyschs you may actually enjoy it more. Depends on your funds and time available for everything.

3) 15/kg-18+/kg to really shake the addiction off of you and get the best detox and reduce further cravings. Don't be afraid to take it to the level you need it at, too little=low success rate compared to a little too much which sometimes can give you better insight and longer lasting benefits. But be cautious and know what your doing. Once you have it prepared and are ready, yess, take as much time off the drug as you can before you start dosing. Preparing before all that, start just eating a little healthier and some exercise to start. But don't take it after you've just done any dope or right after some wore off, let the half life of it leave your body and try to have it as sober as possibly, once your hurting, know after you flood it will be quite the opposite and most withdrawals with cease to exist at all.

4) keep asking around

5) You shouldn't need to be restrained. But have a sitter that could be prepared for the worst. You'll be able to walk, least crawl, but it's not too enjoyable with the ataxia so don't plan on walking around much for a day or 2. You'll find that it's much better to lay down during most the experience, make the most of it by relaxing and going deep in your mind with positive thoughts.

6) No, keep your stomach pretty clear, maybe some kind of supplement that helps with nausea. Unless your have a very weak stomach, then I'm not sure because I have not had to look into that much. I don't puke much ever, someone else can answer this better probably...

7)Those are great things to do. Try to plan on what you want to do when you get to the other side, where do you WANT to be. Should you change environment to stay away from possible relapse/negative influences? See if you can start thinking of as many positive activities as you can for once your free. Because it's then you'll realize how much time one just spends working/finding/paying for/and just being high as shit rather than other positive activities. Think of a passion to pursue, an environment that would enrich your goals, and of course ask why you got into this mess in the first place to know how to avoid it again. Sometimes it's hard, like cutting off a close long-time friend because of the amount of influence in relapse. That's what hurts the most but you may get that insight to see in your head if I spend just as much time as I always do w/ so-and-so, I know exactly where that road goes and I've been there. It's not anything against them, it's in your best interest. I believe your post environment and what you do after is REALLY one of the most critical parts once you have all the knowledge of the process.

8 ) Are they somewhat reasonable? And how serious are you about stopping for good once you are relieved of withdrawals and cravings? If your not too serious, you'll hurt them. I told mine, and honestly, it made me hold stronger that I really couldn't go back to it now that I've made a promise to them and I took much value in that promise. In the end, it actually opened their minds incredibly of how I much I changed as a person, from dopey, running around constantly, sick, to feeling good, optimistic about living your life better and to the fullest, and you may find yourself healing their hearts rather than breaking them once you become clean and they see it with their own eyes. At that point return some favors back to them and show them how serious you are. It's rather rewarding, especially if they give you a chance.

9) Just Knowledge, Understanding, Flood/Post-flood Environment is very critical, BE PREPARED, by that I mean think about what you want to change, what you'd like to do, clear your mind, and don't be afraid when the time comes. You'll be ever so grateful and sky high soon as it's over! As long as it's done properly, keep asking questions! Keep researching!

Best wishes, I'd like to read your story more once I have time. Your on the right path of healing, it's a good one, keep following along :)

GB

10
Eboka Talk / IMO: Iboga can save Lifes..
« on: February 01, 2013, 04:32:44 PM »
Hello all pursuers of healing and/or further enlightenment

I honestly believe eboka is one of the rare and most potent tool to save one's life from addiction, and an array of other issues. That coming from my own experience and much (now years) of research.

I respect Tanyas' opinion and input, but in my opinion it lacks broad definition of why it can ruin your life or bring upon bigger demons to battle if you decide to go that route. ANY mental condition is a such a very broad term for most people in our modern society believe they have some mental health issue. And if you think you might and see a doctor, most times with a very short diagnosis they will say you have this or that, and start prescribing daily medicine that may or may not help the situation. And I believe that can enhance a mental condition you may not even of had in the first time, but most come to believe that they have this condition that is best handled with prescription drugs. Not to say that a lot of people don't really have these, or that some don't need the medication, of course it does help certain people. Sometimes those medications alone can ruin your life as well though, right? I bet if you did all the research to see how many lives were 'ruined' by proper use of mental health drugs against proper use of iboga, you could come to the conclusion that mental health perscription drugs can ruin your life. And I'd guess they have ruined more lives than iboga has, even under responsible and knowledgable use.

Although I've never done the microdosing, it might work for some people but I don't like the idea of it for myself personally. For me, iboga is a tool to break loose of taking unnessary medicines in a daily or weekly routine, to free yourself.

I don't believe in speaking in absolutes whatsoever. Everyone is different, and the only absolute I know of is death. Not by iboga, but we all die physically, and it shouldn't be something feared. Rather understood and live your life to the fullest with positivity. I've had a history of anxiety and panic attacks, if I had followed the advice of don't take under any mental condition because it COULD ruin your life, I may never have took it and I'm pretty positive my life would be much more ruined for I tried many routes and was ready to give up to addiction had it not worked. I've flooded 3 times now, and although I've still had to take anti-anxiety meds iboga has been nothing but a beneficial for me, and broke the barrier of addiction so I could go on living my life in a much more fuller state of clarity and potential. It's a beautiful tool but only if fully understood. I can honestly say it's the closest thing to a miracle I've seen/experienced in my life. I am forever greatful for it and for the wonderful people associated with it that helped me in anyway.

My concept of taking iboga, is to take it after you've cleared your mind of any and all fear of entering the experience. Also that microdosing is a tool to use after a flood, and not that often. Going in to the experience with fear can hurt the healing aspects of it, and possibly trigger irrational thoughts that could stay with you. It is a pysch so you must know that it can bring out the deepest of your emotions and feelings. Inciting fear is a bad thing to do for one considering using it for healing; inciting caution, much research and knowledge is very necessary though, and can eliminate the fear. It is not a plant to fear whatsoever, but to understand it, even the risks, and be content with that would result in a much better experience and process of healing.

Anyways, that's just my opinion. I digress..

I think it can SAVE lives BUT what are the risks?

Can iboga (like pretty much any other drug) kill braincells?  If so to what ratio compared with other drugs? (mushrooms, lsd, coke, heroin, ganja, prescription meds, etc.)

Can it hurt any other aspects of your brain and/or mental health when took properly? To what degree and what conditions?

Under what mental health conditions should iboga be avoided and other routes of healing looked into?

Is their a limit for how much you should consume throughout your lifetime before it could possibly be damaging? throughout a year? a month?

Can it hurt your memory process (compared to say THC) if flooded once? twice, three times or more?

Could it affect your cordination or other physical aspects of your body? If so, could you regain those back quickly with exercise?

Could it cause any permanent damage to your body in any way? (besides death by large overdose)

I'm just curious to some of these questions, I could list way more even, but don't think there is an absolute answer for much of them. And my time is limited right now, I'll come back to this. Not that I have experienced much negative effects at all, I feel very lucky that it has done so much to enhance myself to be able to live my life as I'd like to. But everyone is different, and I advocate full understanding of it before even microdosing, if that's the route you prefer to take, and not fear whatsoever. The more you understand, the less there is to fear at all. Any drug or personal choice could ruin your life, iboga I wouldn't put on the top of that list though.

I wrote this quickly and probably missed a ? or two that I'm curious about so I'll come back to this.

PEACE AND LOVE ALL-

GB

11
General Discussion / Re: Nirvana Partners?
« on: June 30, 2012, 05:12:47 PM »
Eon Eon Eon, my man I hope all is well!

She looks like a keeper ;) She does have a busy schedule to pass her enlightening onto though..

Sorry I actually wrote a response the other day but it got deleted and I got distracted. I don't have time now but like to chime in.

Besides hot passionate sex, Eon, PLEASE define what FULL ENLIGHTENMENT is to you for me? Because I've seen many 'enlightened' not act as such at all. It's a loose term, that I'm not close to. Listening to the mind and ways of god? Many claim this, much positive and negative has came from it. But just curious what your looking for..

I'm really runnin late now but here's my advice for now..

Much Peace, Love, and Enlightenment to you bro!!


12
General Discussion / Re: Iboga Spiritual Rebirth
« on: June 30, 2012, 04:50:45 PM »
I was gonna chip in here.. I see GD is on the job though and I'd have to agree w/ about everything he said.

But I used to go into psych's looking for the visuals, and it's been those times that I've gotten very minimal. I feel it's the blast of thoughts, emotions, introspective, and of course a good body buzz that paints the picture for most visuals. But like GD said, I'd agree strongly that the visuals aren't really a big deal as far as the "rebirth"

Do you lack imagination? Just curious if that's an aspect.

I'm guessing you enjoy art? Could you take your thoughts, emotion, and perspective and try to draw a picture? See what comes from that.. Nothing, scrap and start over; Something, work off that and create your own visuals. What do you want or expect to see?

I'd say the visuals of my 2nd flood were most strongest (I took a LARGE dose), yet it did not contribute to the "rebirth" part much at all. The first time the visuals were mild, prism like, it was the aftermath of the flood that changed me. An empowering feeling of control of your life that the visuals had little to do with at all. The only useful ones for me, that stuck w/ me, were of thoughts of the worst parts of my opiate binges. They came up with the thought of an oxy, and I didn't mind that.. kind of a healthy fear thing for myself. But everything else with the rebirth had nothing to do w/ visuals but much with the 'third eye'

I think your looking into the third eye part a little too much. We can't cure common injuries/cancers/viruses as is, let alone our most intelligent of humans really know little about the 'third eye/pineal gland'. I'd think of the serenity saying with this one. or else you might spend the rest of your life searching for something you may never find in your lifespan. Personally, that'd drive me crazy and I have a hard time enjoying the quality of the little life we do have to enjoy. But if you think you can heal your third eye 2-3% at a time with frequent 'cracking of the head trips', more power to ya and I hope it opens up to your likings.

For my the third eye isn't about the visuals, it's more like a blind guide. It doesn't see neccessarily, but works with the conscience and the human spirit and brain. It's a beautiful world out there, don't pay thousands and more to try to see something that may not be there.

Just my quick 2 cents. Sorry for the bad grammer/spelling, but the sun is calling me to come out and play :) I'll proof later maybe.

BEST WISHES

GB

13
General Discussion / Re: My Time Has Arrived
« on: June 28, 2012, 08:22:37 PM »
Have a BLAST man!! I just got back from mine, and feel so very good. I might do a write up about it soon, it was my smoothest yet. It's a whole nother world over here ;)

But remember, the experience is great and also sometimes seems never ending, but what you do on the flip side is what counts. Have some positive plans and activities for once you get back on your feet. I'd advise cut off ties even w/ old time dope-heads.. sad but true. Or whatever works for you, seems you have put much thought and research into this so more power to ya!

Great job switching from the subs to the SAO. I think you got this. Enjoy being free :)

Best Wishes!!

GB

14
General Discussion / Re: (Long)...Lost
« on: June 28, 2012, 09:23:40 AM »
Hey brother Cal!

I feel your pain, I do. I feel/felt like that quite often, and continuously trying to improve upon it.  Just want to say that you have lead a lot of good into this world ALREADY. I can't imagine how many people you picked up and just showed them another option that saved their lives. Including mine! And I feel indefinitely in debt for it, I'm sure there's others as well. Remember that.. You've already lead a positive, game-changing life, and if karma and/or a god exists, I think you'd be in good hands.

What worked for me, well on and off, now on again; I'm getting weary of the circle myself but keeps getting better as I continue to be persistant. But ask around about a shrink/therapists, I've done that in the past year or two and found one that actually pretty decent. He knows about my drug past, still is encouraging, helping me lay down a better development of life for my future. And doesn't say no to a needed script as necessary. Ask around, dismiss the ones that disregard you because of your past before you see them or pay. There are some decent docs out there, just not many. They fluctuate so much..

The other part that works for me the best, which I know you know this of course, is ENVIRONMENT (I'm just a very strong believer in this area). I know so many people that move out of state, counrty, city, w/e to get away and start a clean life. A small percentage may, but for the most part what I've seen.. Is that they find out that the same drugs and type of people are in all these areas. It's hard to pick and choose the people to stay in contact to when the people you've enjoyed the most have been school buddies now turned addicts. It's hard, I've came back to my parents house after flooding the first time and that change of environment and me cutting off loose links did wonders.

You've helped so many people man, reflect on that as I wish you the very best for your future. Sometimes it's best to just stand back and help yourself. Sometimes you only find yourself after you've lost everything. Writing/venting it can actually productive.. I always try to keep up but forget more times than not.. need to work on that.

Anyways, much love and healing to you brother. Thanks for everything, Do whatever you gotta do to get found again. As tedious as may be.. It's there.

GB


15
General Discussion / Re: Help in Denver?
« on: April 08, 2012, 05:23:35 PM »
Hope you found someone to help. If I was anywhere round the area, I'd be more than happy to help for all that's worth.

Good Luck with everything bro!

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