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Messages - BlueTiger

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376
Eboka Journals / Re: A month later ;)
« on: December 21, 2012, 03:18:44 PM »
Congratulations StormShadow!  I can feel the vibrations of positivity from your post.  Would you elaborate on how your old and new perceptions are merging?.....this sounds familiar and is a very interesting part of "the process".....

377
So, here is my brief back story with opiates.  I was on hydros for 2+ years and did my first Ibogaine flooding last April, 2012.  I was sober for 1 month, then got back into Kratom.  Since this time I have done 2 more Ibogaine floods.  One was HCL which helped me stay off K for another month, and one was Tabernathe Iboga (full spectrum) which did not seem to work with the same profound efficacy as the HCL -- I was also attempting to quit cigarettes, with the TA (tabernathe iboga), not opiates.  Just to preface, all Iboga I obtain is 98% pure. 

The PAWS is what gets me coming back after a month or so.  I am working on how to combat that with exercise, therapy, nutrition, trying to quit cigs, etc.  I am open to any feedback you may have on PAWS or anything. My gf wants me to try an antidepressant or mood stabilizer to combat PAWS, but I am not as open to that.

Most importantly, I haven't worked since April and I need to be employed in the next 30-60 days.  Kratom is nothing short of amazing, but I don't feel stable on it.   My love for my gf is through the roof (which is scary to think that this is because of the drugs -- I almost don't trust my reality).  Before Kratom, I was on the couch all day, not caring about anything (just smoking weed and deteriorating).  Since I got back on Kratom, I have been interviewing and regaining my confidence and self worth, doing yoga, being super social, etc, but still not stable enough to work in an office and be presentable.   Now I MUST start working and be a professional again.  Thus, I was thinking about doing another Ibogaine flood (#4 this year).  Truthfully, I don't want to.  It's a tough experience......but I will if it is the best choice.....

I am currently on 5+ grams or more of Gold Reserve Kratom extract a day and I too could also go through a bottle of tincture a day (easily) in that same day.  I have been on Kratom on and off for a year or so, and this most recent stint has been for a couple months.  I quickly went from a about 4 doses a day of 3-5 grams of plain leaf.  That evolved into each dose needing to be a minimum of 7-10 grams if just plain leaf, or 5 grams of enhanced/enriched leaf maybe with .5 gram of extract, and within the last 2 weeks I have been taking 00 size capsules of Gold Reserve every 1-3 hours totaling about 7 doses a day.  My tolerance is growing fast.  I am detoxing by 3AM now so badly that I cannot sleep past that hour for the last 2 nights in a row.   

I have never started a thread on any online community, but I obviously needed to.  I appreciate and welcome your feedback on my situation via this thread, PM, email, etc.  I just want to be successful and to know that I am not alone.  I am going to try and make it up to the mountains tonight to snowboard tomorrow.  I hope I am physically up to it (loopy and nauseous currently)....it will serve as some much needed food for my soul. 

378
Eboka Talk / Re: Guidelines for Sitters
« on: December 17, 2012, 03:45:24 PM »
I think that the 6 or 7 guideline is meant to minimize the w/d's overall.  For example, if you flood at a level 3, you will likely experience mild w/d the following days after flooding.  If you wait til you hit the 7 marker, you are more likely to fully block ALL receptors with the newly created nueropeptides.  This is what prevents you from perceiving the pain from w/d.  The ibogaine essentially changes the way these receptors conduct chemistry.  Therefore, you want ALL receptors to be effected by this.  We don't just go into detox instantly and full blown, no, it develops and evolves into a sequence of detox symptoms.  The worse the detox, the more effective the Ibogaine flood.  Does that make sense?   
I am not an expert, even the experts aren't experts.  But I think most would agree with this notion?

379
Eboka Talk / Re: Iboga for the mind not addiction??
« on: December 16, 2012, 03:24:20 PM »
Your weight is less of a factor than you think it would be.  It really has to do with your liver and how well it metabolizes the Iboga.  I have had 1.5 grams and never got sick and I weigh about 145.  I know people who weigh over 160 and have gotten sick after .8 grams.  Everyone is different.  That's why you MUST know what you are doing.  Do you have flood dosing schedule guidelines?


380
Eboka Talk / Re: how do you find a treatment center?
« on: December 16, 2012, 01:19:57 PM »
Rise

I would be happy to talk to you about it further, just not in a public thread.  Once again, feel free to PM me or email me to learn more.  I don't know the rules here quite yet, so just being cautious. 

May I ask what your area of expertise is?  Do you have medical training? 

I have done some work with a facility......very brief stint of "helping out" more so.....

 


381
Introductions / Re: 3 Floods in the past 6 months, you may call me B-Unit
« on: December 15, 2012, 12:04:46 PM »
From age 20-24 I really struggled with the question, "What am I going to do with my life?"  In fact, it plagued me.  I had very little self worth, no identifiable direction, and no inner peace.  This became my norm.  During this time I had been addicted to coke (the dark ages as I like to call it).

I had become sober from coke at age 24, and 3 weeks later met a wonderful woman (still together 4 years later).  However, the question above still plagued me.  So, my buddy had gotten his hands on the 4 aco met and sent me some.  I had 2 experiences with it:

I am not sure of the doses, but let's say the first was 10 mg and the second time was 20 mg.  The trip lasted about 2-3 hours intensely, and another 2-3 hours of a bit closer to normalcy.  The feeling was like a really clean mushroom trip.  I am not talking about clean mushrooms, but instead, a mushroom trip without any of the bad things that come with it (stomach weirdness, etc). 

So I decided to double the dose the 2nd time because I wanted some great visuals.....I am peaking off of this trip in my bedroom (alone).  It reminded me of Ibogaine in the sense that whatever you thought manifested itself as a visual.  Ibogaine was more this in a rapid and out of control manner.  I was in control of my visual experience with 4 aco met.  I felt good.  I wanted to "fix my life" in this state....you know solve the worlds problems  ;)  So, I must have thought about the question that had me forever down.  And then it happened.

Anyone who has seen the movie "Minority Report" may remember Tom Cruise using a super computer, which looked like several screens free floating which he manipulated with his hands (he had some glove looking device on while doing this, I did not  :)  It was like the 4 aco met went into my brain and started pulling out things that were bothering me on a deep profound level and showing them to me on a holographic-type screen.  For example, how will I ever become successful (financially), how will I ever contribute to society, will I ever get a grad degree and for what, will I ever get healthy (big one), will I ever truly be happy?  It was as if each question poured out of me as this screen floating above my bed.  I don't know if this was me or the drug, but my hands started moving the screens, rearranging them so they told a story.  This problem would be solved first, which will lead to this, where you will do that, and happiness can be attained.  It was a revelation!  Just because I wasn't my father (a doctor at age 24, sober, blah blah blah) did not mean my chance at life was over.  I realized everything will happen in due time. 

When I was off the drug, I had the deepest most profound feeling of relief.  It was like I was given a chance to speak to the creator, and got some perspective.  4 years later and I still operate from that experience.    I still get frustrated and depressed, anxious from the unknown.......but that's okay, I think it's survival mode.  But most importantly, is that life builds and grows (our relationships, our experiences, our knowledge), and you must allow it to surprise you. 

Find that thing that makes you happy and run after it, incorporate it into your life as much as you can.  I am an avid snowboarder, nothing makes me happier than some fresh powder on an open mountain (it's just me and this snowy mountain).  Living in Chicago was not a place for me to capitalize on this, even though my whole family was there.  After my experience with 4 aco met, I knew I would make it to Colorado eventually, in due time. 

About 2.5 years ago, I got a job with a company in Chicago that was opening up an office in Denver (I didn't know this until after I started).  I kicked ass in my job, and they paid me a lump sum to move out here and start up this office in Denver....that was labor day weekend of 2010.  I feel more at home here, than I ever did in Chicago, despite the fact that my family is there.  My girlfriend followed me here a little over a year ago and we have started our life together.  Se la vi.   8)

382
Eboka Talk / Re: Guidelines for Sitters
« on: December 14, 2012, 09:01:02 PM »
I am not a doctor and this cannot be interrupted as medical advise.  However, I have learned that you are supposed to wait until you hit a 6 or 7(out of 10) on the pain scale before flooding for detoxing from fast acting opiates. 

It is vital to know if you are a viable candidate for Ibogaine before trying it.  For example, you cannot take Ibogaine on suboxone or methadone because they are long lasting opiates that will cause harm to your heart if mixed with Ibogaine before waiting the appropriate amount of half lives.  If you are obese, a smoker, IV drug user, these are all potentially fatal combinations with Ibogaine.  As for psychological preparedness, that's a much bigger speculation.  Most important, you must know if you are a physically viable candidate before trying Ibogaine. 


383
Eboka Talk / Re: how do you find a treatment center?
« on: December 14, 2012, 08:42:09 PM »
Rise,

If you can find this forum, how are you struggling to find treatment centers? 

Feel free to PM or email me to get more detailed information. 

 8)

How do you envision contributing to a treatment facility?   

384
Flooding / Re: Introducing yourself to Iboga before a flood
« on: December 14, 2012, 08:13:01 PM »
Egokiller

Your story can help others.  What happened that you were in the ambulance?

Twice in 2 weeks seems like a lot.  I have done 3 floods since April of this year in an attempt to interrupt an opiate addiction (and nicotine).  For me it started out as hydrocodone, and now has become Kratom extracts. 

Bottom line, you have to let the neuro-peptides do their job, while you do yours (living as balanced as can be). 

I am about to do a TA and and HCL combo flood (1 part TA, and 3 parts HCL).  I would appreciate it if you would share your story and any precautions you may have. 


 

385
Introductions / 3 Floods in the past 6 months, you may call me B-Unit
« on: December 14, 2012, 07:54:25 PM »
Hello Everyone,

I am here because Iboga is now inside me, and a part of me forever.  I have done 3 floodings since April of 2012.  The first two were pure HCL and the 3rd was TA.  I am planning on doing a 4th flood in the upcoming weeks, 3 parts HCL and 1 part TA.  I first learned of Ibogaine and it's possibilities almost a decade ago from Daniel Pinchbeck's "Breaking Open the Head." 

Ibogaine connected me to the earth, to the energy that connects all living things.  The plant is no doubt alive and has an agenda.  I am a forever student and explorer of this life, and altered states of consciousness.  Psychedelics are the food of the gods, powerful and full of teachings.  The only other substance that has bridged me to a deeper peaceful existence is called 4 aco met.  That's another story I would be happy to tell if anyone is interested, just ask.

I am new to online communities, so please forgive me if I "disappear."  I am not in the habit of checking forums and specific thread conversations.  So, I suppose the guaranteed way to reach me is by PM.  I assume that is the only way the forum would alert me that my posts have been responded to via my personal email.  If there is other ways to do so, please let me know.

Addiction has been problematic for me for many years.  I am not fulfilling my potential, but some would say I self medicated with just the right tools to survive this crazy world.  Bottom line is I have developed relationships with substances overtime.  I would do certain things differently, looking back, but that's why they call it experimentation.....

After reading many posts for some time, I felt now is the perfect time for me to join this community.  I feel that my experiences can help others.  I look forward to learning from everyone else, and hopefully developing a support system of like minded good people. 

Cheers,
B-Unit (Blue Tiger)






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