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Messages - Calaquendi

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31
Suggestions & Comments / Re: Some organization ideas
« on: July 17, 2014, 11:25:31 AM »
Hi Rhythm Spring!

Thanks for the ideas man - I have been a colossal slack at tidying things up. I have meant to for about ten years now (heh) but for some reason, just meaning to has produced absolutely no results, no matter how long I wait...hmm. I'll have to look into this. Tomorrow maybe.

We can move threads from General to Eboka Talk - ones that overtly have iboga as the main theme in some fashion - and try to impress on folks that these ideas are better suited for the 'Eboka' titled subforums for reasons of convenience and appearance as Eboka is enjoying quite a steady growth rate and a little pruning and weeding is prolly a great idea before things get too messy  :D

So you reckon (Kentucky word) we should relocate the 'microdosing' child board under a different parent forum or do you suggest giving microdosing its own forum altogether? Some rearranging and reorganizing is quite overdue anyways so this sounds good man. Thanks for bringing this up and I would also like to hear any more ideas.

32
Don't give the fellow too much credit, mo - the error was mine and pk's - an oversight in the permissions section apparently, and it's been fixed.

Great way to bring it to our attention though eh?  :o

Board terrorism not appreciated and certainly won't be tolerated - there is a wealth of info on here and many people come to the forums to learn all they can and to connect with like minds, it is way uncool to arbitrarily rape the boards and ransack the place just because somebody has a wild hair up his or her ass.

This should not be an issue in the future...my apologies for any hassles this may have caused and also for the delayed response.
Love you guys, Cal

33
ALL psychedelic drugs could potentially cause HPPD...look at the facts. There are plenty of unscrupulous physicians that'll diagnose HPPD on a whim without getting to the heart of the patient's use of these drugs. Seldom if ever would HPPD be caused by a single administration, and people not familiar with ibogaine or especially iboga are not prepared for the long drawn out after-effects and so they may become afraid or confused. THIS is not HPPD, it is the natural metabolic process of this chemical. It takes time.

Typically it is the OVERUSE/ABUSE of these chemicals responsible for such a syndrome...which it is clear to me you have done, missjess...I have been kind and decent and even patient with you - but this thread is flaming and you are about a post away from getting banned.

Knock it off. This isn't a conspiracy or an iboga cult, take your umbrage elsewhere, look inside and quit taking cheap shots trying to scare people.

I dislike banning anyone but I will do it in a second for the greater good...there are tons of threads warning people how to behave with this (and other) strong medicines - and most people heed them and are fine. This sounds a lot like sour grapes to me.

This thread is on death-row.

34
Compost Pile / MOVED: Food? Exercise?
« on: April 06, 2014, 08:49:16 PM »

35
Compost Pile / MOVED: Food? Exercise?
« on: April 06, 2014, 08:48:39 PM »

36
Eboka Talk / Re: Possible infection?
« on: April 04, 2014, 09:08:17 AM »
Hello -

  Reading this thread I had a strong intuition that perhaps some kind of mold may be the culprit? To my thinking it would help explain the seeming coincidence related to handling then symptom manifestation...in your own troubleshooting I read you have considered bacterial and viral possibilities, but mayhap mold/fugal spore contamination is something to look in to?

  Some of these materials are stored for lengthy periods of time and who knows what could be 'picked up' along the way? It seems to me that the immediate, acute symptom presentation would maybe be more indicative of a fungal infection than viral or bacterial...I know that some of that stuff is really gnarly and insidious, not to mention very fast acting on the immune response - often overlooked or mistaken for virus or bacteria - molds can rapidly ruin our day and they are often elusive in detection. Not to mention repeated exposure and immediate symptom presentation in itself could be a clue to nailing down the culprit. Inhaling spores can cause very hasty and quite unwelcome episodes of miserable nastiness.

  I have not encountered anything like this myself before - and I'm sorry that you ran afoul of anything weird during the process - however I appreciate you posting this here because it may well come in handy for someone else in the future.
Please let us know if you manage to decidedly nail down the perpetrator?

  ~ Best of luck!

 

 

37
To tell you the truth man, I have never bothered with testing the pH of the acid in the food safe tek, just used distilled white vinegar out of the bottle, I am guessing it is around 4-5 pH? I doubt that you will need to dilute it, the alks will likely be safe and sound at that range, but I am not a chemist  :o

 I can't answer your HCL query,  I am not a sophisto extractor just do it the jungle brew stove top way  ;)

Welcome aboard friend, hope you stick around!

38
Eboka Talk / Re: Permanant blank mind
« on: February 13, 2014, 05:26:15 PM »
Hey jess - check in with us?  Hold on tight lady, everyone feels despair at one time or another, but whatever it is, it will pass! Let us know how you are...



" This too, shall pass away..."

39
Eboka Talk / Re: Permanant blank mind
« on: February 10, 2014, 11:12:18 AM »
Hi missjess ~

The syndrome you are experiencing/discussing is not an uncommon post-flood response, but because it is less frequent than the coveted 'ibo glow' after effect, it is not so often talked about...I have experienced this 'blank mind' myself and it was certainly uncomfortable and a bit disturbing to me, for many reasons not least of which because it was totally unexpected. My symptoms were moderate and acute and went away after a few weeks, but while I was under that spell I was completely comfibulated [my word]  :) and thought I might have screwed something up for good.

I had really impaired cognitive abilities, totally wiped out short term memory, and just an overall Sling Blade type blank stare - no thoughts congealed, my emotions were sparse at best, and communication was very difficult. These and other related symptoms harassed me for about four weeks, then gradually subsided, in tandem with my appetite returning and other normal functions getting back online.

 I can tell you from loads of experience on both sides of the Flood [ flooder and flood-ee] that the ONLY permanent brain damage I have ever seen or heard of has been caused by unfortunate episodes where cardiac arrests or stroke occurred during the experience proper, and the resulting damage came about from hypoxia which is a lack of oxygen to the brain.

You - in all likelihood - did not suffer anything permanent (from iboga) - physiologically speaking, and this you can 'prove' easily enough with certain diagnostics like MRI or PET scans...

As to HPPD ~ [ http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/health/hppd/hppd.shtml ]

This is a possibility, especially considering your methods of use with iboga/ibogaine, which to my recollection were shortly spaced out and sometimes very difficult flood level trips...as lalababa mentioned, you were coaxed away from using iboga again from most of the members here - because people here DO care about each other - and your particular set of circumstances and previous experiences seemed to indicate that iboga was probably an inappropriate choice to make at the time, yet you were committed to using it again for your own reasons and now you are having some troubles...I feel for you, honestly - and I hope you find some concrete answers that satisfy you and get you on the road to being 100% again.

40
Introductions / Re: Hello Eboka
« on: February 10, 2014, 10:36:03 AM »
Welcome aboard, nice to have you -

Unfortunately I can't answer your questions about Vinpocetine, but perhaps someone else has something to share.

As to your feelings of 'not being able to contribute'...just being here is a contribution so do not worry about that. Asking questions and discussing different possibilities is what sites like this offer its members, so you are a good fit  ;) Also I must confess to being ignorant about Vinpocetine, I have not even heard of it before now. I have been out of the loop quite a bit the last few months though, and hope to make a comeback, this has been the Fell Winter man, hopefully I stir from this hibernation soon.

Regarding the legal prohibition of iboga use, I could get on my soapbox all day over this - but aside from counseling you to skirt the law or anything else untoward (which we would not do here  :D ) , I will just say that there are possibilities if you can afford travel, and other things like the search you are on for various related and (as yet) unscheduled alkaloid  preparations - which is smart by the way.
Voacanga is, from my own research and talking with others, a much more tricky device than its cousin, and can be toxic in comparatively small amounts next to iboga - so take care if you poke around that direction.

Anyways glad to have you and props on being a standup single parent - hardest job in the world!

41
The Muse / Re: Augustin Lesage: Channeling Other Worlds and Painting Them.
« on: November 11, 2013, 06:23:29 AM »
Goodness!!!

That is absolutely spectacular, thanks so much for posting this. I am not quite sure what to make, I believe it is clear that HE believes he is directed by 'other' agencies - and from the symmetrical precision, echoes of Greek, Roman, and Egyptian [especially?] genres - oh, and this guy never went to school for any of this? Hmmmm...

Savant genius or obsessive hermit...or trance medium? Maybe all of the above. Whatever the case, it sure is an interesting find and one that I will be exploring. This guy's paintings are unbelievable and the story behind it fascinating yet dubious: we learn of simple 'regular folks' who suffer head/brain traumas and from time to time someone will come out of a coma or near brush with death and suddenly they're a Mozart or Michelangelo. The Mind is boundless, wonderfully inexhaustible and we really understand so little of ourselves in so many ways, yet I can't keep from the allure of the Mystical for anything. Is it that I want it to be so?
I can get way out lost on metaphysics - but somehow so much of the paradox of it paradoxically rings true. Maybe you have to be a little crazy to apprehend this perspective at all, let alone abide in that milieu, whatever it is will probably always remain a mystery and that itself is worth its weight in unobtainium  ;D

42
 ~ Sorry I'm catching you late, friend...been very busy with new job and demanding new schedule [i.e. I have to DO shit I don't want to do, when I don't want to do it]  :D

I'm wishing you all the luck in the world and many blessings. I hope this journey is a safe and sacred experience for you - thanks for being  part of the community and please let us know when you come back to this side of the veil - best to you and yours, Cal

43
Gankutsuo ~

Brother, thank you so much for posting that...when (if) we lazy admins ever establish an archive here, this is a thread that will live forever. I am blown away.

It takes courage - raw guts - to bring these experiences out of ourselves, and put them in a space where all can see. We think of criticisms, judgments and wonder at our own capacities for transcribing these events so that others may apprehend the reality and intensity of feeling. You have a gift for such a thing, your words ring true and are potently rich with those feelings...it seems awkward at times for me to say that I 'enjoyed' reading that, because of the somber nature of some of the content, but you have such a way with prose as to be both gentle and fierce simultaneously, it is - in a word - poetry.

I have flooded many times, done every form of this medicine known to Man and been privileged to facilitate others' processes with Eboka as well. Bringing me to the remarkable notion of re-living many 'clips' of my past with this ally, through the vehicle of your writing - so that my own myriad experiences have all found some niche within the condensed form of your post, a rare and beautiful event.

Again I want to thank you for sharing this, it is quite a powerful and beautiful story, and thank you very much for the addendum on Jack Tripper...though I never got a chance to shake the man's hand, we spent countless hours online or on the phone and I felt so close to him that it was like we'd always known one another. I miss him sorely and will remember him always.

Quote
It is this latter state that
hurts more than anything else, and it is this later state I
believe is the doorway to healing and to liberating the death
experience into the direct experience of one's own pure, selfless
nature. For is this great absence not also empty, silent, still,
vast, boundless, thoughtless, fearless, and unencumbered? Are
these not the classic signatures of a mind tasting the purity of
its own fundamental selfless nature?”

...brilliant.


44
Compost Pile / Re: re: to skinny
« on: November 07, 2013, 06:29:52 AM »
Kampum -

Thank you for your many untold hours of service to this place; these boards are rich with your accumulated experiences and the knowledge you have eagerly shared. I am sorry that you feel this place "is a joke now" - I understand why you say this, but in previous threads I have asked you several questions to which I only received one response, and that was the question of 'what do YOU want?'
  Your reply was 'consistency' - while I agree that is a fair answer and indeed consistency is an element that has been conspicuously absent here of late [at least insofar as my own involvement] I also think that it would behoove you to reflect on that very notion for yourself, friend. I mean no disrespect or sarcasm at all, I am genuinely grateful to have had you here so consistently [no pun intended] but you and I have had these kinds of discussions before man, you are a moderator here and know what I ask of those who mod, yet your temper and impatience have boiled over so many times that people are afraid to engage you sometimes. I do not want that in a moderator. The other question I asked you was would you stay on if you were NOT  a mod, to which I was given no answer at all...so I am left wondering, 'does he or does he not want to stick around if he doesn't moderate? Is the 'badge' of moderator that important, and if so why?' I wish I had been answered.
  You also basically took swings at me that were quite personal and touched on sensitive areas that you are not informed about -and did so only to get things riled up - if this was your [only, or preferred] way of getting my attention, I think it was inappropriate especially for a moderator.
  Obviously I value your opinions, experience, knowledge and insights - and I DO - very much, but with no answer from you and so much personal crisis on my plate, I made the mistake of ignoring things, thinking they'd self modulate, or somehow work themselves out, yet the overall apparatus only got more heated. You bear some responsibility here and I would be remiss if I did not mention that. I also consider you sharp enough to already know and understand - and therefore apply -this principle to your own posts/moderation...yet you are so easily provoked, and (it seems) wantonly ostentatious in your writings - I can never know what you will do or say next, your unpredictability to me reflects a deep moodiness that cannot belong to a position which represents a board as a whole. If you feel I am calling you out in public as an act of vindication, I am sorry you feel that way, I think you are mature enough to know otherwise - I am responding to your own words, veiled threats to leave etc...I do not want for you to leave but you will do what you will and I respect that and am thankful for all the energies you have freely given this forum out of love for what you believe in.

I really do not have time for this right now - I will be sacrificing precious time I need to rest in order to post this, but if anyone has any doubt whatsoever what this place means to ME, let them walk in my shoes, read my (hate/threatening) emails, and go back to the front to begin this all over again...I love Eboka, and have done much to make it a place for anyone who wishes to come here, this latest incursion of negativism and utterly ridiculous inane babble is just the antithesis of what we are all here for...we should all be able to at least agree on this much?

For what it is worth KP, I do apologize for making you feel isolated and alone as my absence from the boards and the heavier discussions must have made you feel - if I caused you any pain I want you know that I am genuinely sorry and I deeply regret any hurts you might have suffered as the result of my dereliction of duties.

My main objective and perspective - {therefore what I have made known I wish to be reflected in forum mods }- is simply to always keep the boards first: in the forefront of consciousness, regarding any/all posts and or situations, the integrity of Eboka as an entity must be placed before one's own feelings or ideas. This is the essence of moderating this site. By and large you have accomplished this, but things have begun to wear thin, and I take share of responsibility for expediting the accumulation of negative vibes, and acknowledge my part in your perceived isolation. Though, in my mind - you were not isolated, or alone or without my support: I made a mistake in assuming too much and acting too little on your behalf. I am not saying I would have  - or do so now - agree with your every post, idea or position especially when you get angry and the challenging 'warrior' as you put it - is the voice 'on top'. You, absolutely, have every right to speak your mind, yes even the responsibility to yourself to do just so, but as a mod, one acts first and foremost as a representative of the forum by extension and therefore must [and by this time have agreed to] abide the guidelines previously discussed, of which there are really very few.

I think enough of you to keep our personal correspondences - or lack of - out of the public domain, and would have expected the same regard in return. Instead I got provocation and accusation, openly - which was entirely uncalled for - OR if you earnestly felt that isolated and in need, you yourself could have chosen any number of other approaches that would have reflected more positively on your character, instead - to me it only reinforced my ambivalence with regard to keeping you on as moderator. You also must accept some responsibility my friend.

Skinny -

What are you doing, man? Really? When you first came back I was pleased to see a newly caste version of yourself that was more open and communicative and generally less eager to engage in disruption, etc...you know what I am talking about - you [and KP both] can say all you wish about 'he started it' or 'if I am attacked I am going to swing back' or any of that crap but it boils down to this: ALL of the drama and nonsense could have been done ELSEWHERE and henceforth SHALL BE, It does not belong here, and will not be allowed. Whether this is apprehended as 'fair' or not - well, that is academic the way I see it - because I will not continue to lose other valuable and respected members because of an incessant ongoing immature tiff between two guys who cannot or will not put themselves behind the collective security and solidarity this forum has represented so far. You're scaring folks off, or keeping them from posting. NO more. Please and thank you for understanding.


45
I was in chat over at DMT Nexus last week and had a brief govoreet with some fellows who mentioned this collaborative, and it looks like Trav at the Nexus has also allowed them to advertise there - but it seems I am hearing some ambivalence regarding exactly 'what's up' with this promotion [or whatever it be]?

I am leaving this thread up, hoping that someone, (anyone?) has had personal experience with these guys and would be kind enough to share whatever they can...

Anyone here had any dealings or correspondence with this outfit? Hmmm?

To the OP - no offense meant here, just digging for some feedback from the crowd, it has been rather quiet and I kind of expected something or somebody to have posted information or 'results' of contact with Ye. Hope everything is on the up, still looks like a great idea on the surface, it's just..well...you now - the internet  :-\

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