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Messages - Rise

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16
Eboka Talk / Re: looking for sitter around Indiana, US
« on: August 29, 2013, 01:49:22 PM »
No problem.  It is what it is.  Perhaps we should even make note of a tell tale sign such as this, pointing to the likelihood that so and so isnt ready for what this plant has to offer.  It cant be policed obviously, paradoxically, but when someone isnt ready with arms open then the experience will be even more brutal and non- forgiving than a monster truck with no shocks slamming down face first into a slab of concrete so hard your face is now part of the concrete.  And judging from the sounds of this particular nightmare hospital experience, I am not exaggerating the pain inflicted upon someone who dares to engage without having done the necessary prep work.  Consciousness expansion cannot happen inside of a closed vault; instead the boundaries must be flexible and arent even boundaries but rather expanding walls of perception, awareness is expansion is acceptance is openness is humility is growth.  Otherwise, there is only crushing pain and merciless suffering.  The rigid snowflake in hell doesnt stand a chance, but water can become its container or cut through steel only if its accepted fully, as is.  Acceptance.. as is, is harder than it sounds.

And its just a decision anyway.  We all coulda made it without the extra help, but it sure made it easier to be able to push the pause button on addiction itself, if for only a moment.. just to feel freedom again.  I still cant help but wonder why the boar in Africa digs up the bark and eats it before battle.  I could only battle myself, paralyzed and all, and Im baffled as to why the boar does it.  I suppose to show us it has value enough to take a look.  It could save us all, from our gluttonous murderous cancerous uncontrolled growth of greed and addiction to oil and money and bling and Wall Street and England and the 1%ers.  Freedom!

17
Eboka Talk / Re: looking for sitter around Indiana, US
« on: August 24, 2013, 12:44:55 PM »
2nd floods NOT involving the hospital are probably somewhat easier in some sense but when youre in its throws and getting your ass thoroughly kicked and wishing for mercy, you probably wont be calling that easier by any stretch.  Easy isnt the right word.  Experienced and more comfortable are probably what you want to go for.  Yes, 2nd time around was less scary for me, but still scary as hell and rough and tough and still hell, but when it was all said and done, I am now stronger for my experience(s), as are you.  Just learn how to take responsibility.  It'll cure what ails you more than some bark from a tree can.  Its cool though.  We get all stuck on some weird groove that gets us hung up and confused until we find a way to understand it.  Then you can soar! 

For the OP:  PM me and maybe I can help.

18
Eboka Talk / Re: looking for sitter around Indiana, US
« on: August 24, 2013, 12:38:15 PM »
You cant blame anyone.  You knew the risks.  We all do.  We take them or we dont.  Thats why Michelle isnt an official Dr.  Jesus.  You hold Michelle responsible because you ended up in the hospital, as if she was supposed to know your specific body's sensitivities and particularities like your primary care physician.  Are you planning on suing her?  This is exactly the misplaced responsibility that pisses me off.  What did you miss about the dangers of Iboga?  Im sure you did your research so yeah, might as well blame some person who calls herself Michelle.. Nice try.  Never try it again.  Youre not ready as long as you are stuck in that place of fault and blame.  Im sure it was scary, going to the hospital and all.  Iboga is scary even without the hospital.  If your experience happened at an official clinic with Drs supervising you, then yeah maybe you'd have a shitty chance at blaming someone, but hopefully you would have signed a waver so probably not.  The biggest lesson I was taught while under its spell most recently was that it wasnt even actually necessary to go through that hell.  That I could have chosen myself, made the choice like so many others do, and stick to it, mind over matter, strength and conviction and respect for my power of choice over my actions.  Taking responsibility like that is what Iboga essentially taught me in all its glory, and somehow you still want to blame Michelle, like you missed the whole point dude.  Jesus.  No offense but Jesus, someone missed the boat..

19
Eboka Journals / Re: Locked and loaded; Guidance please
« on: July 15, 2013, 02:17:14 PM »
Thanks for the kind words.  Its nice to get so raw.  Things get sharp and crystal clear.  Nerve endings lit up like Vegas at Christmas.. but the downside is the exposed soft underbelly.  In the middle of my flood, my wife was screaming, 'What if you die!!'  I had to laugh deep down inside, while comforting her, while totally flooding.  It was weird, multitasking and taking on more than I could handle but still handle it somehow..  But I came out of it so strong.  I feel stronger than ever and fully in control of my choices.  Before, I mighta been letting life show me whatever it wanted.  Now I live forward, eager, energetic.. but smart, thinking crisp, and clear.  One foreign urge I did allow was cigs, so I want one bad now.  Might have one after work.  I want to be able to control these types of choices, think em through, dont go too far, enjoy it to the hilt, but keep balanced, keep from being excessive, keep it cool, maintain composure.  Life is so weird.  I never know if Im getting ahead and simplifying my realizations or just getting more and more complicated.  Gonna get me some boosters tonight. 

20
General Discussion / Re: 1 gram HCL enough for opiate withdrawl
« on: July 15, 2013, 01:26:05 PM »
FAST
FAST
FAST
The longer you can fast before taking all of it (you can spread it out over a few hours but make sure you get the whole gram in you.. but not until after a good long fast.  All that water will come in handy later.  Let me say it again.  FAST.  The answer to your question isnt cutting up that gram into parts.  Its fasting beforehand longer than what you are probably comfortable with.  FAST at lest 24 hours prior, at best 48.  Lots of water.  Juice is fine too.  Just dont eat anything.  FAST.  Let your body meet that gram with all its force.  Open up.  Allow it in.  Accept it.  Embrace it.  Enjoy its splendor.  Let it work on you.  Let it work on your neuroreceptors.  Let it work.  Allow it to do what it does so well.  It is medicine.  This is how you make it through this.  This is your path forward.  FAST.  Even several fasts prior to going might be in order if you cant go sooner than later.  Get every last microgram of that gram in your empty stomach and you will heal yourself, at least for a time.. if you can hold it.. that is another question, but save that battle for later.  It'll be much easier than it is now.  You'll go long periods of time without even thinking of it, carefree, comfortable, peaceful, without need, without foreign urges.  Its fucking magic!  Good luck! 

21
Eboka Journals / Re: Locked and loaded; Guidance please
« on: July 09, 2013, 03:08:40 PM »
Thanks Cal and lala and everyone.  I really appreciate the love.  There isnt enough of it in this world.  Ive lost some of that raw feeling I had post- flood, but I remember, and its still seeping in.  I need some boosters actually.  But this flood was specific in that it seemed to tell me that I didnt need it.  Has anyone heard this before?  It seemed to be telling me that it wasnt necessary to put myself through that, when it was always just a choice.  I couldve just made the choice with my mind and stuck to it with discipline..  Anyway, its been seeping in, and my choices are beginning to look more like mine and less like foreign urges.  It worked too, of course.  No foreign urges at all.  And when they do creep in, I see em comin a mile away, and repel from them.  I dont like being told what to do, or being pulled in the wrong direction by whatever.  I want to make good choices that take me somewhere nice.  I want to reach my goals one by one.  I dont want to wake up sick anymore.  I want to wake up strong.  And each day I wake up stronger, thinking clearer, crisp, and in tune with nature.  I dont miss things anymore.  I see everything.  Its like I was asleep and now Im awake; fully aware.. finally.  Thank you for having this place to hash this stuff out with like- minded people- the only people that can possibly understand.  My heads busted open alright, and it put itself back together cleaner than ever.  Thanks yall!  Clean fully controlled vibez to you all!  Now to hold it, is the next challenge.  Holdin it..

22
General Discussion / Re: 1 gram HCL enough for opiate withdrawl
« on: July 02, 2013, 12:39:42 PM »
Fast, and if you're able to do a colonic prior, it may lower your threshold like it did mine.  I always fast before anything like this just to boost the effects, but if you want to make sure 1gm HCL will be enough, at least fast and at most colonic first.  At least that worked for me.

23
Eboka Journals / Re: Locked and loaded; Guidance please
« on: June 28, 2013, 01:38:05 PM »
I wish this place were more active, because I cant quite work out my feelings in a way that accurately communicates the message I want to share or examine together.  Im quite sure this is the only group of people that could possibly comprehend what Im unable to say.  Anyway, I think you might know what I mean.. just that a fresh start is so profound.  Even the thought of it alone, it opens up doors of potential that coudlnt even have been imagined prior to actually feeling fresh and new and clean again.  Its so deep.  I want to share it with the world.  I wish I could show everyone how amazing it is to start over; to get a do-over!  Just like in grade school we could do a do- over, but IRL there are several well- known proverbs about how there are no do -overs.  Yet, here we have one.  Right here.  magic!  We have a real life do -over.  Its fantastic!  And I love to just revel in it!  Power over choice once again.  Its liberating!  I wont let go of it again.  Control over my choices is now my new favorite thing!  Im gonna hold onto that better this time.

24
Eboka Talk / Re: Thermoregulation
« on: June 25, 2013, 12:07:20 PM »
You gotta go with it.  I think theres some danger to worry so much about whether or not to allow your body to go into uncomfortable extremes especially with regards to this plant.  I would even say that attitude is the wrong one, as if you're going to control something, or as if it should be a comfortable experience.  Its not comfortable at all, its hell, and you have to be able to weather the storm openly, which is why the experts try to make the person as comfortable as possible, but that doesnt imply that it should be a comfortable process..

On the contrary, it might just be the most intense extreme experience of your life, and you should still go with it.  Being able to be open is key, and the more open you are, the more the medicine can work for you.  Fighting it or trying to control it or worrying about my comfort level could erode your chances of a successful flood.  The point of making yourself comfortable as possible is so that you dont worry, but rather fully experience the flood with complete surrender and openness.  Worrying about body temps and heart rate is not helpful during a flood.  Instead, openness and full surrender is probably a better approach and let the sitter do all the worrying and/ or know you took care of all the preparations perfectly beforehand.  This forum is helpful so as to reduce worries not encourage them unnecessarily.  The only thing we need to fear is fear itself, especially when diving head first into the unknown.  Walk bravely by knowing you did your homework.

25
Eboka Journals / Re: Locked and loaded; Guidance please
« on: June 24, 2013, 11:58:53 AM »
Good advice.  Thank you.  I did take enough, thats for sure.  Fascinating what happens..  Fascinating too, was its slightly less intensity than my first flood, just out of familiarity and more openness.  I wish I could get out all the lessons to share, but the one that sticks out the most was that it was always just a choice.  I learned how powerful our simple daily choices are, and to them more seriously, slow down and think them through, and do whats best under whatever circumstances and its all up to me.  I am no victim.  I make my own choices and they are good choices, the best I can make.  My choices define me in some way.  I will give them more thought and treat them like they matter immensely, because they do.  I do not need Iboga for that either.  And I think it reminded me that.  It was almost not needed, but it was welcomed and experienced fully.. again.  I dont think I need to flood again.  I think that was enough for me, besides boosters, which will help me the rest of the way.  I love Iboga.  I love beauty and kindness and sunlight and water and swimming and family and happiness..  I appreciate the things I should appreciate.  I touch tree leaves on the way to work now, I admire the squirrels and flowers.  Im happy to be free and fully alive.

26
Eboka Talk / Re: Thermoregulation
« on: June 24, 2013, 11:47:28 AM »
Its part of it, like a fever kills pathogens, the contrast of cold and hot is part of the cleansing process.  Its necessary.  Dont fight it.  Accept it.  Its fine.

27
Eboka Talk / Re: Naltrxone implant Urgeant
« on: June 24, 2013, 11:45:37 AM »
No way.  Its like trying to light a match under water.  Its asking for trouble.  With something so serious, the answer is clear: NO.  Not until the implant is removed should it ever be considered.

28
Eboka Journals / Re: Flood Completed, a very very unexpected turn!!
« on: June 21, 2013, 04:05:29 PM »
Beautiful description!  I feel bad for your horror when you were in hospital.  I did it without a sitter because my wife is so difficult.  She was screaming at me when I was frozen "What if you die?! You're such an asshole!" Over and over again.  I couldnt get as deep as I wouldve if not for her fears ruining part of my treatment.  But it was the price I had to pay for the medicine I needed.  Since Ive been so happy and full of life just the way you describe it.  Thanks for your story!  Keep shining!

29
Eboka Journals / Locked and loaded; Guidance please
« on: June 11, 2013, 11:14:35 AM »
Ok, game time.  Tonight I prepare.  ETA: tomorrow night.  Sitter is set.  Set is set.  Setting is set.  Nervous, but excited for another dance.  2nd time so I know a bit.  Will try to use what I know to go deeper.  I want to explore its depth and return anew.  The following week I will spend with family at the beach so I will get some good love and relaxin.  I hope it'll be a life changing experience.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

30
Eboka Talk / Re: Naloxone/ buprenorphine vs Ibogaine
« on: May 30, 2013, 11:24:40 AM »
I just wish I could get this conversation going with this type of perspective because its exactly the main stream medical preference so we should understand how these elements intertwine into whats being treated as addiction in 2 very different ways, with one effective and the other legitimate.  It raises so many questions about legitimacy and what direction humanity is actually going, as we move forward through time.  I gotta spend some time at a clinic.  This work is absolutely world -changing.

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