Author Topic: Want Iboga's help but scared of dying from complications  (Read 9147 times)

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Offline Flickering

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Re: Want Iboga's help but scared of dying from complications
« Reply #15 on: March 16, 2012, 06:57:49 PM »
Quote from: mo
and i don't mean airy-fairy nonsense, but most substantially, a primal, archetypical fear

Yeah, I believe that. There is something incredibly strange, and vulnerable, about being connected to this world by an ugly, pulsating and very fragile muscle located an inch behind the ribcage.

My first mescaline trip took me into this as well. The bizarre nature of being human, life essence concealed within a bag of meat and oozing organs. I saw how subconsciously disturbing it was to us. I wanted to go deeper into it. That was what inspired me to try ayahuasca.
Any and all events described above involving substances such as ibogaine or mescaline took place in Peru, where they are legal.

Offline roy d

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Re: Want Iboga's help but scared of dying from complications
« Reply #16 on: March 16, 2012, 08:05:08 PM »

Hi Insom,

I really hate to say this but you asked:

Quote
Is Iboga Dangerous? Is there more deaths as compared to the amount of people who die from Opiate overdose?  What else can you compare the death-rate of Iboga intake as compared to other things in life?

Well how about suicide?  The news was talking about how a lot of the soldiers have committed suicide - a lot.  Some are on their fourth tour after getting wounded.  I am talking about the Staff Sgt who went on a killing spree and it was his fourth tour.  The army Got to know there is going to be trouble.  I respect the troops but not the war the army really does not care about ya - your so cheap and expendable or maybe disposable.  Suicide has taken quite a few lives.

Best,

  Roy


 

Offline mo

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Re: Want Iboga's help but scared of dying from complications
« Reply #17 on: March 17, 2012, 06:09:05 AM »
i hope this is not not getting to  off topic - also, i don't want to look like i impose my spiritual standpoint on the thread..

flickering - you say ugly muscle! that strikes me as amazingly outrageous! i mean, i just wrote my love and encouragement poem to the heart, my embrace, and you call it ugly :) LOL

i am preparing for my next flood - i take tiny micro doses a couple of times per week (no fixed schedule) - and i feel my heart often, and i feel the fear of death often. in my last ayahuasca ceremony i realised something new. it is the attachment with the physical, the clinging to that which will have to be left eventually - the blind identification of the living with the form.

the often talked about spiritual death is about this - freeing, in awareness the 'head in the sand' identification with the form. when it comes to my heart it is a 'head in the sand' 'i am going to die' 'i'm angry' 'i'm panicking'. i recognised this as so fundamental to my personality.

this reminds me off the traditional context. i read somewhere that the bwiti use the iboga, if i may quote from memory - to die and get reborn closer to god.

so, to many this is what iboga can be about - it awakes our primal fears, gives life to them. and they rise in their rage, their fear, their daemonic insanities. and it gives us the courage and the strength to not fall, to not run and shy away, to not dig the head in the sand deeper. but to stand courageous and see it through. to fight off its attacks! to master the fears!

we are spiritual warriors! and with iboga/ayahuasca/kambo/.?!. we are picking up our sword. they are saying 'here, take this!' and we are hearing the call - taking on our inner enemies. we will not be slaves to fears and daemons any more! we are waking up - beware ignorance, beware fear-mongering, beware hate, beware the ego - the people are waking up!

the revolution from within is happening!

IMHO anyways :)
in a universe like ours, to beings like us, the idea of a god dying can be quite liberating

Offline onthepathtohealing

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Re: Want Iboga's help but scared of dying from complications
« Reply #18 on: March 18, 2012, 11:58:20 AM »
are you saying, mo, that i no longer need to be a slave to my fears? i feel like i have just become a "puppet" for something evil and dark to work through. I don't like this one bit, i feel like i've lost every single shred of freedom i have ever possesed, and it is a terrible feeling, to live like this.
i even have to take medication, because if i don't, i get terrible nightmares! but i think the medication is just "repressing" my fears demons and nightmares

Iboga Panacea

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Re: Want Iboga's help but scared of dying from complications
« Reply #19 on: March 18, 2012, 12:40:47 PM »
Unthepath, you have to realize whether here or on the ayahuasca forums you are always saying the same things, same questions, same issues.  It is an exhausting broken record.  Yes and yes!!!  Iboga will bust your noggin so your spirit can develop a proper connection with your soul.  Right now their are blocks and obscurations. 

Offline onthepathtohealing

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Re: Want Iboga's help but scared of dying from complications
« Reply #20 on: March 18, 2012, 01:33:13 PM »
sorry
i have ocd really bad

Iboga Panacea

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Re: Want Iboga's help but scared of dying from complications
« Reply #21 on: March 18, 2012, 02:00:30 PM »
For real?  Is this OCD diagnosed as well?  Sorry I misspelled your name in the previous post.  In all honesty you have a difficult case (family history) so this is no easy issue to pinpoint.  I am glad you are being more forthright now about the bi polar and possible schizophrenia.  Most treatment centers deny people for psychosis but do recommend micro dosing.  I think in Africa they even prioritize people with mental illness' to treat them.  But until Tata Yo chimes in we won't know.  Maybe Rho could tell you he just returned from Ebando.  Or e-mail Juju (Ngalim) and ask if they treat people in a traditional setting that have mental illness' with Iboga.  I don't think you have to hear things or see things to have schizophrenia.

Offline mo

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Re: Want Iboga's help but scared of dying from complications
« Reply #22 on: March 19, 2012, 01:58:54 AM »
onthepathtohealing, iboga and ayahuasca  awoke my deepest fears and gave me the courage and strength to face them. i would say - i was indeed a slave, not even knowing my masters. i would say that i now know what is holding me down - i, myself. it is within - fear, ignorance, the ego. i feel not that i have won, but that i am worthy among worthy opponents. in facing each other in respect we grow and mature.
but - what do i know? .. :) i pray you find peace, take care of yourself!
in a universe like ours, to beings like us, the idea of a god dying can be quite liberating

Offline mo

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Re: Want Iboga's help but scared of dying from complications
« Reply #23 on: March 19, 2012, 08:01:48 AM »
i should really correct myself: iboga dragged me through me fears, something i could not have done - i did not have the strength to face them. having gotten to the the other side, i found myself, well - still alive ;)
in a universe like ours, to beings like us, the idea of a god dying can be quite liberating

Offline Calaquendi

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Re: Want Iboga's help but scared of dying from complications
« Reply #24 on: March 19, 2012, 10:50:47 AM »
Damned well said mo - both those last posts are spot on.  The learning curve was the same for me: My first cactus experience was an epic fail, replete with authorities and nudity. I was beyond fearing Death, I was begging for it.

Lo, it did not come, not then at any rate. Instead I just embarrassed the shit out of myself and others, and ended up as the muse for Tool's 'Rosetta Stoned'.

The natives call ayahuasca 'the little death' - this not for naught. It is about the Ego, as mo stated, and negotiating it, not necessarily just killing it - as I have found. I am a ways into my journey, but far from mastering any of these ideas. It is with the help and love of others that I will be able to accomplish this.

Iboga/ibogaine presents special difficulties in that we know of some deaths temporally associated with it - but as yet there is no conclusive evidence that ibogaine was/is the sole culprit. It has not been proven that the medicine alone just killed a person. Have A SITTER...have them check on you OFTEN, take pulse and BP and incorporate some tradition into the experience, I cannot prove this at all but my intuition says that ritual healing requires well, some ritual. Read Bancopuma's article on Bwiti music for some ideas of the why's here - it is a fantastic read, though some of the theory is above my head, I get the general scope of the thing:  http://www.wfmt.info/Musictherapyworld/modules/mmmagazine/issues/20030613105603/20030613112009/Maas_MTT.pdf

God bless you people...Cal
" I am you and what I see is me..."