Author Topic: TRIGGERS  (Read 3189 times)

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Offline Calaquendi

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« on: April 27, 2012, 08:25:27 PM »
A big thing to watch out for after we get squeaky clean from a flood are those little, sly things that creep up on us...

I'd like to open the floor to discussing these 'triggers' - things that give us the butterflies, or worse: things can create a powerful impulse in use to use again.

Some of the big ones for me are:

Boredom - this is huge, too much idle time, idle hands- in this case really is ' The Devil's... whatever' this can be tricky too because not everyone is blessed with a 'pink cloud' after they flood, and often times fatigue can make it hard to do (literally) anything. In some cases, like with long term methadone use, the fatigue is severe and can last a long time. This can make us between a rock and a hard place, and I for one, lack discipline - I'd need someone to shovel me out of bed or off the couch and get me going. Because if I get bored, fatigue or no, my mind drifts into dangerous territory.

Anger - I am not the best at dealing with real powerful emotions, I think many addicts are this way...sometimes we get clean, and have a new lens to see things through, and though we may feel blessed for our gift of freedom, we have arrested development as a result of using so long, and so have little in the way of coping mechanisms when strong emotions come on us. If I get really pissed, my very favorite thing to say is, "FUCK IT" - two of the most dangerous words in my lexicon, becuase by the time I get that miffed, I really mean it...'fuck it'.  And before you know it... :'(

Isolation - we need to have new things to occupy ourselves with - and learn to socialize again in healthy ways, this takes time so it is a great idea to have already begun some kind of something even before we flood. I know people have ambivalence about 12 step stuff, I share that ambivalence in many ways, but no one is saying to subscribe to anything permanently. Maybe just do it for the social aspect. At least there will be folks who, though they may not have done ibogaine (quite probably not) they will understand an addict better than anyone who is not an addict can. It is pretty easy and it's free. Some people go in for things like martial arts - my masochistic brother achtwan for instance- I do not know how the hell he did this because he came straight off methadone and I know he was in incredible pain and fatigue, but he joined a gym and began training IMMEDIATELY after he returned from his flood, and is now about to get his purple belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. (I'll still whoop him though, I'll bite his ears off) - Again this comes back to coping skills in some ways, I was a hermit for 10 years, dwelling in a hypogeum hating the sunlight. I still have some social anxieties but am getting better at it. Isolation is boredom's ugly mate and those two together are a recipe for disaster for many recovering addicts.

People, places and things that we used to hang around, these can be and often are triggers...getting cocky is another one. Sometimes after finding oneself clean from one's drug of choice, the bright idea may dawn on us that, "hey! I must not really be an addict....I can play around with this stuff" Well that may well befit one in a hundred but if you are a junkie like me, you can't play with this shit. Don't be trying to sell off all your old scripts either (try to have that done before you flood lol) A wise man told me once, 'A monkey can't sell bananas'  :o

What are some triggers for any of you guys?

" I am you and what I see is me..."