Author Topic: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein  (Read 25199 times)

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Offline Eon T McKnight

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #30 on: March 09, 2010, 08:39:55 PM »
This is a gooood-un!  And so apropos!

« Last Edit: May 14, 2010, 02:56:23 PM by Eon T McKnight »

Offline Calaquendi

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #31 on: March 10, 2010, 12:34:42 AM »
HAHAHA  ;D

Dude - where on Earth did you find that?? Good one man...
" I am you and what I see is me..."

Offline Eon T McKnight

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #32 on: March 10, 2010, 12:43:25 AM »
Oopsie!  Got so involved it getting the images chopped to fit right, I forgot to give credit.    :(

I followed a link on erowid's humor page:

     http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/humor/humor.shtml

To the source of this comic masterpiece:

     http://partiallyclips.com/2001/12/30/joggers/

Ya Hoo!    ~et
« Last Edit: March 23, 2010, 04:06:59 PM by Eon T McKnight »

Offline Eon T McKnight

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #33 on: April 12, 2010, 12:20:54 PM »
I just moderated myself.

Here's to extreme radical moderation!

et
« Last Edit: April 12, 2010, 02:21:13 PM by Eon T McKnight »

Offline x

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #34 on: April 12, 2010, 01:08:26 PM »
Which one was funny?
Do men really like that still about women and wives?

Offline x

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #35 on: April 12, 2010, 01:11:26 PM »
I meant -think- like that still. Is being married still seen as a chore-war? And women are only worth their holes? Wow.

Offline GratefulDad

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #36 on: April 12, 2010, 03:10:18 PM »
Eh, it's Andy Rooney, giving one liners, I wouldn't take it to heart, too much..
GratefulDad

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

Offline x

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #37 on: April 12, 2010, 03:29:26 PM »
I'm similarly shocked when female acqaintances send male bashing 'funny' jokes and stories. Divide and conquer.

Offline Eon T McKnight

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #38 on: April 12, 2010, 08:40:27 PM »
OK, let's see who this one offends:

25 Little Known Facts of Christianity


1.  IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2.  ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3.  LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4.  THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5.  SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6.  SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7.  MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8.  THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTER WARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9.  THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10.  THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11.  MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA.. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12.  THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13.  DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14.  SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15.  WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16.  WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17.  JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18.  ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19.  JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20.  IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21.  THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22.  THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23.  ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO ATAXIMAN.

24.  ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25.  CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE . THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

These 25 'Christian Facts' were said to be compiled from answers given by Elementary School children in Roman Catholic schools to questions about the Old and New Testaments.  Original spelling errors, as the CAPS LOCK, were preserved.

~e

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #39 on: April 18, 2010, 12:36:37 AM »
Good stuff   :D

Offline Eon T McKnight

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #40 on: May 14, 2010, 02:26:23 PM »
When Insults Had Class  --  These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

     She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."

     He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:

     "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

     "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."  - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner(about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends..."  - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.  "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." -  Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness.  Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go..." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination. " - Andrew Lang(1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
« Last Edit: May 14, 2010, 02:44:36 PM by Eon T McKnight »

Offline Calaquendi

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #41 on: May 15, 2010, 03:24:19 PM »
yeah man that's good stuff... ;D
" I am you and what I see is me..."

Offline goatboy

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #42 on: May 15, 2010, 10:27:50 PM »
Nice.  Love the classic insults.  Where do you find these? Or is that your little secret...

Anyways, keep it up!!
Rise, Run, Feed, Ripen, Wound, Wither, Fall, Rise Again...

Offline Eon T McKnight

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #43 on: May 16, 2010, 10:12:31 AM »
My little secret is that I look for 'em constantly.

PS --  Now that you have heard Handel's Messiah performed by 1000 chinchillias, how do you like the cartoon?  ~!et
« Last Edit: May 16, 2010, 10:15:20 AM by Eon T McKnight »

Offline goatboy

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Re: Eboka Loca -- Humor in a Jugular Vein
« Reply #44 on: May 16, 2010, 08:37:04 PM »
Well I thought it was funny at first, but now I don't get it...because after what I've experienced/still experiencing, how the hell would one be able to take ibo and go for a jog?  I couldn't even make it out my door for hours from the ataxia.  Maybe I'm missing something tho?

GB
Rise, Run, Feed, Ripen, Wound, Wither, Fall, Rise Again...