Author Topic: First flood  (Read 2819 times)

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Offline alopezg1

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First flood
« on: December 22, 2012, 04:41:46 PM »
I did my first flood last sunday . I did it for cigarette addiction and mental health issues
i've been stuck on and shuffled about various ssri medications for the last few years , but my
mental health issues - chronic anxiety , obsessive thinking, depression- date back to childhood.
I did have a fairly serious alcohol dependancy , binge drinking mostly , and would abuse drugs intermittently
, normally when i was drunk , but i managed to knock this on the head about 7 months ago, and don't really
have any difficulty with it anymore. Cigarettes are the real killer for me ; they feed my anxiety and depression
but also seem to be the only thing that alleviates them as well . Its a pretty shitty situation , and i as ridiculous
as it may sound , it has driven me right to the edge of suicide , cigarettes! I do feel pretty stupid saying that
but its the truth of how the addiction has affected me; especially on a forum where people are struggling against
heroin and opiate addiction, but i suppose suffering is relative , and addiction.

Anyway i flooded with 4 grams of TA on sunday . The TA is apparently not as strong the stuff you can get from iboga world
and my dose was probably closer to 3 grams , from them. It seemed plenty ! I haven't stopped smoking, in fact , about 8 hours in i had to smoke a cigarette , the craving never left for a minute, and i continued to smoke through the following days. I am not ungrateful though! and i didn't expect Iboga to magically dissapear my compulsion to smoke - i did expect it to take the edge off though, which it didn't-  It was a very humbling experience, terrifying , humbling and beautiful, also quite funny to, which i wasn't expecting. I saw some pretty screwed up stuff; it was a bit like having a mental enema ; all the media crap, the noise of my own mind , basically all the junk i had been subjecting myself came pouring out as this kind of mental sludge. And it goes on and on ...... and on.

It didn't nescessarily  show me anything i didn't know; like , for instance, the root of all my fear and misery , is this inability to accept death . Iboga didn't give me any consolations about death , or the realities of human life; in fact it seemed to parade around in front of me quite explicitly showing me how depraved and sad a lot of human life is , the suffering involved , the bodily decay.... What it did do though , was open up the possibility that i could be more honest about my fear of death- and life- and not isolate myself so much ; we only have each other in this human game, was its main message , and you should never reject that, it just causes further pain. There is a dignity to human life amidst all the suffering , and that is precisley accepting suffering and death but trying to do so without fear - as much as possible- and showing as much love and understanding to your fellow beings along the way; we're all in it together basically.

Cigarettes continue to bother me though; and i don't think i'll get any peace of mind until i quit, which i hope i will do eventually.
I really want to flood again ! if you'd asked me at about 12 -30 hours i would have said i'd never take iboga again, but now, i want to try again , i feel a great deal of psychotherapeutic value is in this plant, even if my cigarette addiction has to be tackled some other way . it has certainly 'openned me up' in some way , although there is a long , long way yet to go; i only think another flood in say a year would help a great. Also my sitter was excellent , i really thought i'd lost my mind  at about 30 or so hours , and if it wasn't for someone experienced and calm i think the trip could have turned unpleasant very quickly.
ok thats it, good luck to everyone trying to work with this wonderful plant

Offline JohnnyB.Goode

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Re: First flood
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2012, 10:17:22 AM »
 ;)
" . . . THE ONLY WAY TO VALIDATE YOUR EXISTANCE IS TO ACCEPT THE REALITY OF YOUR NON-EXISTANCE . . . "

Offline BlueTiger

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Re: First flood
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2012, 02:10:16 PM »
Great reply Johnny!   :P

Alopezg:  I did my second flooding for smoking cessation and I also felt zero relief.  The only thing Iboga seems to do with cigs is make them taste bad after a flooding.  For some, this is enough to quit.  For others, like you and me, it is not even close to enough.  I had more success with acupuncture, the patch, etc. 

I am glad you still received the experience in a positive way.  I know how smoking ties into addiction and mental illness.  I am going on a decade now, and I feel like a disgusting pig.  I also feel hopeless that I will never quit for good.  All I know is you just have to keep trying.  Never quit quitting ;o) 

Iboga Panacea

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Re: First flood
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2012, 06:08:43 PM »
Need more dose but only a Bwiti or experienced Ibogaist should be your guardian of ceremonies as it is extremely risky.  But that way insures the guaranteed results/experience. 

Offline Calaquendi

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Re: First flood
« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2012, 08:00:47 PM »
... I do feel pretty stupid saying that
but its the truth of how the addiction has affected me; especially on a forum where people are struggling against
heroin and opiate addiction, but i suppose suffering is relative , and addiction.

Please do not feel stupid, man - not for something like that anyway  ;) You are wise to say that everything is relative - it is one of the few absolutes I feel is an accurate truth about the world.

I am sorry you did not quit smoking but it sounds like you had a hardy introduction to the medicine at any rate...welcome aboard and stick around, eh? Always nice to have good folks here!
" I am you and what I see is me..."

Offline TANYA

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Re: First flood
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2012, 10:16:03 AM »
Hi, im glad this worked for you. iboga does help some people with mental health problems. im happy for you and you should always go from strength to strength.