Author Topic: Looking back on my 4 floods  (Read 2422 times)

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Offline Avendagold

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Looking back on my 4 floods
« on: January 03, 2013, 07:36:13 PM »
I have been waiting a few months to write this post and I now feel in a position to give a well thought out appraisal of my Iboga floods.

First of all, some background.  I am a healthy individual, very occasionally partaking in cannabis, ecstasy or magic mushrooms (a handful of times a year), no smoking, very little alcohol - so no issues with addiction.  My journey started at the beginning of May 2011 when I took my first microdoses.  I wanted to do microdose as this felt right to me and allowed me to get to know Iboga.  After an amazing experience on 3mg/kg, the next day I took another 3mg/kg on a full stomach and after a negative experience with someone I used to know and wanting to regain that good feeling.  However, instead I had a very strange episode that freaked me out -  a bad trip for sure.  I feel poor preparation was to blame, including not having a sitter (which panicked me at the time), no 24 hour fast, and not being in the right environment.  My impatience backfired.

However, I have flooded another 3 times since - 4 floods in 5 months – and I'm glad that I persisted.  My subsequent floods were much better, with each one following a similar pattern -dark thoughts, followed by feeling of sadness and loneliness, followed by interaction with friends during the Iboga glow and a sense of enormous well being and enlightenment.

During my second flood (a fairly small dose of between 11-15mg/kg) I went through a lot of the events in my life where I had wronged people.  I was brutally honest with myself – if it was my fault then I had to look at it carefully and make amends if necessary, if it was someone else's fault then I wasn't to blame and I simply moved on, and if it was my fault but the intention was for the right reasons then I didn't linger either.  I was exhausted  going through every event, there were so many.  In the end I realised that only the wrongs that I had inflicted on others were to be considered and rectified – everything else isn't important.

My third flood (which was 2 weeks after my second) was the most interesting.  I had got my Iboga from a source that shall remain nameless (but thanks again – you know who you are) and it was the best stuff yet.  It arrived in capsules and was dark black and solidified into what looked like black volcanic glass.  I took about 25mg/kg of this TA, spread out over 2 hours. Because of the dense, compact nature of the TA, the absorption in my intestines was super slow and the first phase of my journey - dark, negative thoughts - took 12 hours (it has taken 5 -7 hours other times)!  Heavy! However, when the next phase hit, my third eye opened and the Iboga/my own self began to teach me how to meditate deeply using my third eye.  Once I had understood how to close my mind off, I entered a visual world where I saw coloured shapes.  I have never had this with Iboga World TA.  It was a defining moment for me.

The fourth (again about 25mg/kg) and last time I took Iboga, instead of entering a negative state which has characterised my previous trips, I actually felt contented  and happy thoughts for about an hour or two.  It started when I realised that I am a good person and that lifted my spirits and made me feel very positive.  I felt that my previous trips had improved me mentally and spiritually to reach this point.  After 2-3 hours the negative thoughts started to creep into my mind and the familiar pattern of negative thoughts, feeling sad and lonely, followed by connecting to my best friends and feeling great, resumed.  This last flood was at the end of September.

After that fourth flood, the sight, smell and even the thought of Iboga made me want to puke.  I felt repulsed and needed to take an indefinite break.  During the last trip I had thrown up more than ever (probably 7 times in all).  I know that I will do Iboga again but not for a long while.

The changes in me have been substantial.  I think that intention is very important in life.  If you want to change for the right reasons, then you will and Iboga is an amazing medicine to help you.  For me it has catalysed the process of improvement and change, opened my mind to the truth of myself and life, and clarified the purpose and meaning of my life.  Each time I did Iboga I learned something, usually something that I stumbled upon by luck or that the Iboga showed me.  I will give you some of the most important examples that come to mind. Meditation has now become a part of my daily lifestyle as I understood the deep importance of being in control of my mind and reaching a state of calm and peace – being at one with the conscious universe – sounds very new age but it really means something to me after my Iboga experiences.  I discovered  fasting which has taken me to a new level of health and alertness.  I saw a documentary after my 4th flood on the Kennedy assassination which changed the way I view society and my role within it.  The mention of Kennedy might surprise some people but believe me, being post-Iboga and watching this, I saw everything in a new light.  Understanding how democracy can be subverted opened my eyes to how our society, and thereby how I, have been controlled and manipulated and it has fundamentally changed the way I think and act.  Finally, I feel like I have understood the nature of this reality and this has given me solid foundations on which to build my life.

All this has been very positive.  The changes have been gradual and subtle.  There have been many small epiphanies along the way but never a blinding, universe-shattering eureka moment that I have read about in other testimonials.  Quite often, I have only realised days or weeks later the significance of a thought or experience on Iboga, and realised how it has helped me.  I can honestly say that I am a more spiritual person, am a more confident and mentally strong person, and I am now doing want I want to do, rather than feeling obliged to to do what society requires of me.  In short I am happier.

This forum gave me the strength and connections to go forwards with Iboga.  Anyone thinking of doing it should first research the topic thoroughly to get the most out of it.  Iboga is a plant medicine and should be treated with care and respect.  I would also recommend always having a sitter to create a safe and secure environment, and also making the time and space in which to do your trip. Never rush it, and be somewhere for a couple of days, uninterrupted and away from distractions.  The Iboga and you will do the rest.  All the best.
Be the change you want to see in the world

Offline ddraig

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Re: Looking back on my 4 floods
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2013, 11:36:32 AM »
Thank you for sharing  :) Enjoyed reading it and can relate to your experiences.

For me, the iboga reset helped scrub all the BS/artificial conditioning off and show you what is really important, being true to yourself, spiritually respecting and loving yourself, your kin and others.

btw, that documentary wasn't called 'Evidence of Revision' (much recommended, all 6 parts) was it? Interestingly, listening and seeing the late great comedian Bill Hicks back in the early-mid 90s probably helped get me on this path. He openly talked about things like the Kennedy Assassination, mass manipulation etc... and took heroic doses of mushrooms for revelation, not unlike George Carlin who did LSD, and talked about similar topics.




 
« Last Edit: January 04, 2013, 11:42:19 AM by ddraig »

Offline Avendagold

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Re: Looking back on my 4 floods
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2013, 06:58:34 PM »
Funny you should mention Bill Hicks because I recently had a Billhicksathon where I watched all his old stuff and interviews on Youtube, like two or three times.  Like you say, there's a lot of good stuff in there, including Kennedy assassination (couldn't tell you the documentary) and all his psychedelic experience.  The Iboga does somehow allow you to focus on what is most important, and the beauty is it reveals itself gradually - an evolution of the mind rather than a revolution.  I found myself relating a lot to what he was saying.  I like this quote the best:

"Don't worry,
don't be afraid,
ever,
because this is just all a ride". 

I also found myself getting into quantum physics as well, and in particular the double slit experiment.  I love the conclusion that some of these physicists are now coming to - we live in a virtual reality.  There is a more fundamental reality that we all live in where everything is connected.  Very Buddhist - ohmmmmm!
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Offline ddraig

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Re: Looking back on my 4 floods
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2013, 09:49:17 PM »
Nice! I was lucky to actually catch him perform live back in 93. Funny, after taking iboga and dmt, I get him a lot better now too! :)

His "It's just a ride" speech is epic.

And re: quantum physics, definitely on the same wavelength (no pun intended) as you. The observer effect, spooky action at a distance etc..., making us question reality and the importance of our consciousness in perhaps creating the reality. Tao of Physics may interest you, if you haven't read it: http://www.amazon.com/Tao-Physics-Exploration-Parallels-Mysticism/dp/1590308352