Author Topic: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....  (Read 5762 times)

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Offline Tapthesource

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The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« on: January 28, 2013, 03:41:56 PM »
I first took ibogaine hcl and TA on March 11th 2011. I remember the date so exact because it was 6 weeks before my wedding and the exact date of some kind of rare astrological event. So, I had been prescribed 10/325 Norco’s (hydrocodone) by my doctor for pain and I let him know it helped with emotional pain also which he said was fine. I gradually upped my dose as my tolerance grew and before I knew it I was taking a handful of pills at a time. This persisted for about a year until I found a Suboxone Doctor, which at the time, I thought was a miracle. It was not a Miracle. It was a far far far worse substitute. The pharmaceutical companies (one of which my father runs and another one my brother is a chemical engineer at) created Suboxone so it would be the stickiest drug known to mankind thus far. They changed this drug down to its molecules so it would stick down to your bones, your very essence, so you would almost have no chance to ever get off it and they would have a "client" for life. For 7 long years I took this poison. I was about to accept that I would be on it for life when an episode of Law and Order SVU came on. In this episode, Dr. Huang, loses he license for 30 days because he treats an 18 year old heroin addict with Ibogaine and the kid is cured after an intense trip. This idea went off in my mind like a fire cracker. What is Ibogaine? Where can I get it? How does it work etc...
I found a place in Mexico run by a guy named Jeff Israel. On March 10 2011, I fly out of Newark NJ and into San Diego. Jeff picks me and my good friend and business partner up along with two other guys just as confused and messed up as we were. We get stopped at the border ,which is rare going into Mexico, and after we were cleared to pass (during the interval I had a huge panic attack of thinking what it would be like to spend 6 months in a Mexican shithole jail if and when they found my hidden supply of 90 roxi's). We then traveled at our peril while Jeff drove 120 miles an hour to our destination in Rosarito Beach. It was a very nice mansion on the water and this did make me feel a little better.

The trip and the 700 pound bumble bee at my door....

Now, it’s important to note that in college I had taken schrooms many times, LSD 6-8 times, mescaline once plus a whole other bunch of things mixed and matched and experimented with. I was an experienced tripper and thought, stupidly; that I knew some of what was going to happen. Well, I can tell you that when you hear a 700 pound bumble bee buzzing at your door you know you are in trouble!

I had been popping or snorting about 2-4 30mg roxicodones all day and at night when I would normally take my next dose, Jeff said, "I’m going to give you a little Ibogaine, a test dose." I gladly took it and within about 20 minutes or maybe a little longer I started tripping ever so mildly and pleasantly and had no signs of withdrawal. I remember seeing a blue outline version of myself looking back at me as if I were looking into an Ibogaine mirror. I saw some dancing lights and other cool mild trippiness until the nurse, Isaac, came in to give me an IV. Just as he begins to poke around my arm, BAM like a wave of pure terror the Ibogaine wears off in a millisecond and the worst wave of withdrawal i've ever experience times 10 hits me. "ISSAIC!!!!!, HELP ME!!!!!!" "I’m trying too he says" I feel like 20 guys with rusty knifes are stabbing me repeatedly and in-between their stabbings are 20 other guys beating me with cast iron baseball bats. I AM DYING in the worst pain of my life. I keep thinking, "WTF! I came here so I didn’t have to experience pain!!!" So fucking finally Isaac the Mexican nurse gets a line in and I feel some relief flow over me.
The relief is short lived as 20 minutes later the horrible stabbing aching throbbing jerking pains came back in full force. I yelled, "Jeff!!!" he came in and I said I need help; I’m in full blown withdrawal!!! He looks at me flopping around on the bed like a fish out of water and says" Steve this is the first few hours of withdrawal, it’s nothing..." then scampers off to help another patient who was in full flood and apparently had some kind of complications. At this point I am looking for a sharp object to stab Jeff with the next time he returns to tell me its “no big deal" what I am feeling but there is nothing around. I call out 3 more times before, finally, Jeff comes in with a shot glass and a bunch of gel tabs with Ibogaine in them. He says that because I threw up the test dose that he is going to have me drink the Ibogaine with some Gatorade mix so I can keep it down. I am in so much pain I am moving around in the bed like the girl in the Exorcist. I don’t care if he wants to insert the Ibogaine anally; I just want it in me so the pain will go away. So he mixes up the Gatorade mix, 2.2 grams of HCL and some water, I take 3 shots quickly and almost puke all three times because it tasted like drinking dirt. I did not throw up so I lie down and wait for what is to come....

Just as the Ibogaine is about to hit me, the nurse Isaac walks in and gives me some advice that was very very helpful and will be to those reading as well. He says" If you don't like the movie, change the channel. You can change the channel by blinking your eyes." This became very helpful in the next 5 minutes. The next thing I know, I’m in the room alone while the doctor, Jeff and the nurse are getting ready for me. I hear a loud thumping buzzing in my ear. I had heard a light buzzing during the test dose but this buzzing was 100 times stronger louder and more pronounced. I kept looking up thinking there was a 700 pound bumble bee outside at my door. It was at this time that a wave of pure energy flowed down my body at 100 miles an hour and gave me an ecstasy like numbness all across my body. Withdrawal Gone!!!! Not only that but other than some mild anxiety at the 700 pound bumble bee (which I told myself at the time meant I was about to trip my fucking balls off like never before...) I am feeling good, very very good. Next, like a flash of lighting to my pineal gland, I start seeing cartoons in my eyes. Violent scary cartoons like the ones in Natural born killers when the eat schrooms in the desert. Very scary cartoons with little cartoon guys stabbing each other and blood flowing all over. I keep thinking of what Isaac told me and I blink my eyes and a new picture show starts. Again, a bloody massacre of cartoons. I let each one play out until it scared me half to death and then would blink and repeat the process.
Next, I was totally having an out of body experience. The Ibogaine took full effect and was in full control of my brain.

Next I found  myself in a forest with other people I did not recognize except for Jeff Israel who was the shaman carrying a crystal ball filled with what looked to be a universe. He was taking out ibogaine from this crystal ball and giving it to all of us. I then felt waves of withdrawal in the form of goose bumps fill up my back and then felt what seemed like a hose at the bottom of my back sucking all the goose bumps and withdrawal away. It was a very comforting feeling. At this moment Jeff said" Steve do you feel the Ibogaine working?" I replied" yes".
I then feel into a much deeper state of consciousness in which I was no longer aware of my surroundings and I was completely stuck in the "inner world" that is my brain. I had no control over what my brain wanted to show me. It started by showing me a version of my life in fast forward motion over and over again in what seemed like an endless loop. Each time the loop started over again I was scared in agony that this would never end. I remember thinking what is wrong with my brain that I would torture myself this way. I later realized that each time I reviewed my bad mistakes I learned a little more about what I made the mistakes that I did and why I would now make changes that would stick forever to make me a better person. This process lasted for a few hours. What finally woke me up out of it was Jeff shaking me to give me a 1mg dose of T.A. I was scared to take any more but Jeff insisted I trust him and take it so I did. My trip then turned from an introspective nightmare to bliss. I had a complete out of body experience where my soul left  my body and went into the "other world" that exists all around us all the time but that most cannot perceive. I had no body only spirit and I was in what I thought was outer space but actually was just the sense of the infinite. I remember trying to move at the speed of light or faster to try and see what was around me but there was nothing. Soon after appeared a "light being" which I sensed was my guardian angel. It was golden bright big and shaped like a glowing star. It radiated goodness joy and happiness. It made me understand that it always has been watching over me and always would but that the worst of my weight to bare was over. I then saw a crystal palace in the same place of infinite space. There were people out front welcoming me but telling me it was not my time to cross over. I think I saw my grandfather and cousin who passed on years earlier and who I was very close to.
I then was traveling at super luminal speeds in this sense of the infinite for several hours where I saw random colors shapes and imagines of rebuilding occurring. I think it was my brain showing me my receptors being repaired and rebuilt. The color Red was particularly apparent. I lay ed in bed for 2-3 days after this recovering longer than any of the other guys because my trip was so much more intense and profound that it literally brought me to the brink of the next world and back again and this took an extra toll on my mind and body. I awoke 3 days later in tears of joy KNOWING that I was never alone and never would be alone and that death is just a doorway to another reality.

I encourage everyone healthy enough to take the iboga plunge and break on through to the other side....
 
"Knowledge, intuition and experience combine to guide us in thought and deed..."

Offline DiamondHeart

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Re: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2013, 04:08:47 PM »
Wow - amazing story. Thanks for sharing it - love the 700 pound bumble bee analogy.

How is life for you now?

Offline Tapthesource

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Re: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2013, 04:12:56 PM »
Life is excellent. I did start taking opiates on occasion so I did another dose but did not trip any where near as hard. I also just took my business partner and best friend down to a different clinic in Mexico for treatment for his body dysmorphic disorder and OCD. He is doing much better also. We both still have the Ibogaine Glow!
"Knowledge, intuition and experience combine to guide us in thought and deed..."

Offline Egokiller

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Re: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2013, 04:54:44 PM »
I did start taking opiates on occasion

After all that hard work!?!? :-\
I cant preach cause I did the same thing, A year after my flood Im back where I was before.  I thought just like you, yea on occasion, well we know what that turns into :-\
But while your ahead, put them opiates down!  there bad for you :-\
MY OVERDOSE WITH IBOGA & WHY YOU NEED A SITTER!!!!
http://eboka.info/index.php?topic=1804.0

Offline Tapthesource

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Re: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2013, 04:59:31 PM »
Yes, I allowed external forces, work wife etc to bring me down and looked for a quick way up. Thankfully The Source provided us with Iboga. I am in a great place now and realize we all must take personal responsibility for our happiness and noone can make us happy or unhappy. We are responsible.
"Knowledge, intuition and experience combine to guide us in thought and deed..."

Offline lalababa

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Re: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2013, 12:54:23 AM »
WOW!  Wonderful Read.  I am glad that you had such an amazing experience.  I wonder how your family in the pharmaceutical industry feel about it.  Do they know?  If so, would you be able to tell us their thoughts?  If not, I understand.  I am curious if they would have ever suggested Subs to you knowing what they do now, and their thoughts on Ibogaine.
Thank you for a GREAT report!

Offline Tapthesource

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Re: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2013, 10:05:44 AM »
My family was happy that I was clean and happy. But they along with the rest of the world live with their heads so far up their asses they cant see the light of day let alone the miracle that occured for me....I spread the word everyday though, especially to those types....We need to just put some in the water supply and wake everyone up....
"Knowledge, intuition and experience combine to guide us in thought and deed..."

Offline BlueTiger

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Re: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2013, 07:37:42 PM »
TAP THE SOURCE!  The very inspiration that named the divine entity I was blessed to meet on my last flood.  (rough sketch below)  Welcome my friend to the wonderful world of Eboka!  Your story is powerful and very well written. From the short time I have had getting to know you, I am confident that you will be a valuable member of our community.   Thank you so much for sharing the buzz.  I know how frustrating it can be to see the other side and tap the source, and have your significant other or family or friends look at you with no clue as to what you are talking about, feeling, experiencing post powerful flood.  As you know, their is a greater web of connectedness out there and we all tap in at different points in our evolution (if ever).  Everything happens for a reason, and you are here for a reason.  I think I speak for most of us here at Eboka when I say, our stories resonate harder here/for more people here, than for those in our lives who have never experienced anything of the like.  It can dramatically change you.  Welcome to the place that explores that change further, cultivates all of the fruits of this sacred medicine, and so much more. 

Offline missjess

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Re: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2013, 09:52:25 PM »
Tapthesource

That is amazing you are very fortunate to get the out of body experience can I ask how much iboga did you take and who was your supplier ?

I almost had that same experience on my very first flood at the iboga house however I got scared and did not let go :( I recently did another flood and it didn't happen for me to achieve the opportunity to leave my body

To get that does it really depend on the medicine you get and dosage?

Offline Tapthesource

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Re: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2013, 03:25:43 PM »
I was given 2.2 grams of HCL (supplier unknown as it was a clinic in mexico run by Jeff Israel) and then 1 gram of TA extract 4 hours later....I just ordered 2 grams of HCL from IW. I am going to be micro_dosing though not flooding
"Knowledge, intuition and experience combine to guide us in thought and deed..."

Offline BlueTiger

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Re: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2013, 04:09:56 PM »
Tapthesource,

How many floods have you done total?

Frequency?

I know you have ingested a lot of Iboga, and toxicity needs to be on your radar.  I think it's so subtle that people have a hard time telling when it actually hits that point.  It took a powerful serotonin boost of DMT and the advise of a friend for me to realize I was probably at that point. 

I guess the better question is, what are your intentions with MDing HCL? 

Offline Tapthesource

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Re: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2013, 01:08:31 PM »
My intentions with MDing the HCL is to get more Noribogaine in my brain and receptors and having some kind of mood elevation without taking opiates or SSRI's etc
"Knowledge, intuition and experience combine to guide us in thought and deed..."

Offline BlueTiger

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Re: The 700 pound bumble bee outside my door....
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2013, 01:47:51 PM »
Elevate your mood in other ways maybe?  I think it's worth sharing how many floods you have done.  Your new community of Ebokians may have some valuable insight as to whether or not you are at risk for toxicity. 

Tap, my toxicity presented itself in a depressive state, lethargic, etc.  Bam, stopped MDing, stopped DMT, felt the glow.  Now I am on Noopept, and no interest in anymore Serotonin work due to the amount already done.

Just a cautionary thought for you brother.  If it ain't broke, don't fix it.......you may have more serotonin activity than you know is all I am saying.  Worse case scenario, I think it can be fatal finding out the hard way.  These are risks that we MUST keep in mind when operating in the manner that we do. 

If it's been 6 months since your last flood, I think MDing should be fine.  Other lifestyle changes may be more powerful and effective.....give me a buzz soon and I can elaborate if this is making no sense.