Author Topic: I feel as if I may explode  (Read 3372 times)

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Offline Zion Om

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I feel as if I may explode
« on: February 21, 2013, 11:58:53 PM »
I remember being a child with too much energy, lying in bed, tightening all of my muscles to release the energy from within, the bomb.  Not since then have I felt that, not til now.  Not now in a literal sense, now in the sense of post-Iboga.  Post Introduction.  It's been over a year since my first flood and I recently experienced my second.  Wow! It was a wonderful concoction of 1.2g 98% Ibogaine HCL salt dissolved in deionized water and poored down my throat.  I want to describe my experience not only as a chance to record the qualitative data but also as a confession:

Iboga was never a drug detox for me.  My first flood was an experiment to ease the mind of a friend that was prepared to detox but needed a little comfort before embarking on the journey.  The effects were profound, but that is another story.  Since then I have done infrequent microdosing and a couple, what I like to call, microbursts, which are light flood doses.  In this same time I have, by chance, come across a monthly supply of little compact opiates.  Although they were mostly going to others, I ate quite a few every month spurring a ritual detox period every few weeks.  Not heavy, but the closest I've come to consciously experiencing what many of you have experienced. 

Then came my second flood, and, by the way, I didn't think I had a problem with pills.  The flood was to ready me for the next stage of my life, my new baby girl.  I had not taken any opiates for a week before the flood, since I didn't have any, but the day before my launch I happened upon a bunch more.  I then decided to take 15mg of oxycodone 5 hours before my flood, and I remember my sitter, just before my dosing, asking me if I had an addiction, and I responded no, like a liar.  I knew the dangers of mixing opiates with Iboga and that still didn't stop me. 

Anyway, during my flood I knew it was a mistake.  I wondered at times whether or not I would survive.  I saw my insides. I traveled into my body to see my organs and feel how they felt.  I Purged a lot.  I had a flash-flood, which was my previous flood compact into two minutes.  I then remembered that Iboga had given me back my memories.  Before my first flood I was forgetting my life and all the events that created me and Iboga released the files.  I also heard music and a voice talking of pills and medicine/nature as opposites. 

After the flood I had a couple of wonderful days basking in a beautiful glow.  Then I decided that taking some little green and white tablets sounded like a fine idea and I quickly stepped out of my glow and back into a cloudy dream world of opiates for about a week until two days ago when I decided to stop taking any pills.  I realized that I was cheating myself.  Not only was I destroying my Ibo glow, I was ignoring a problem that could destroy much more if left unattended.  I then took 5 capsules of root bark and spent half a night awake and was greeted again by the voice talking of nature and pills, however, each time the voice said 'pills' another voice, a chorus, said 'Noooo'.  Amazing. I got to hear the detox powers of Iboga first-hand. 

Afterward, now, I feel the glow, my minds-eye is sharp, and I am prepared to venture on without the addiction.  I also feel a fire within, stimulating my nerves, making me smile and want to explode.

Offline lalababa

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Re: I feel as if I may explode
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2013, 12:22:00 AM »
Wow,  Thank you for your honesty Zion Om.  I obviously would not have recommended any opiates that close to an intense flood, especially someone with a low tolerance.  I am glad everything went okay.  I appreciate you coming on here "confessing"  I know you are a very strong, physically and mentally.  I do however think it is very important for any sitter to know if someone had taken pills recently.  I am glad you got this experience from this last flood.  I know you must have had a lot to sort out with this new baby on the way, and the stresses of it may have made you want to dull yourself a bit... You will do great, I have a feeling ;)  I may write more on this later.  Thank you for you total honesty.  I am so glad nothing went wrong.  Keep the glow going my friend!!!
lalababa

Offline BlueTiger

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Re: I feel as if I may explode
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2013, 12:09:53 PM »
A wise man once told me that our bodies are like a chemistry lab.  I knew this, but never added the word "lab."  Behavior and thinking without drug use still effects the workings of our chemistry lab as we all know.  But it also rewires/reprograms as people put it, and you can continue to do so as you evolve.  With that in mind, our bodies and minds are more than just a chemistry lab.  They are intelligent, so there is a "super-computer" running the lab!

I really like this thought that this friend of mine shared, "Our bodies are like chemistry labs"......And when he told it to me, I was in a state where I was redefining myself as someone I love: 

Someone who can breathe well at 13,000 feet because he doesn't pollute his body with a million pointless chemicals a day from cigarettes.  Someone who understands what opiates do to the divine chemistry lab.  Someone who understands that an idea can really change everything.....

I agree with this man that our bodies our like these awesome chemistry labs, and that includes our minds.  It's like Dr. House says, "Everybody lies."  It's so true.  It's like a part of our survival mode or something. 

BUT  Iboga is the the drug of truth.  It is a medicine, a sacrament that has changed us to the very core.  We must carry this truth into our lives.  Whatever that means to you/for you/for us.  And that is integration!  The evolution of the mind and the body.  We take the Iboga, and we have these ideas that are planted like little divine seeds.  Everyday, those ideas become exposed to the physical world where our bodies reside, and they are changed, altered, evolved into the Zion Om 2.0, or Blue Tiger 4.0 (cheesy, but you get it)

Oxy is one of the faster acting opiates.  I took my last dose, 30mgs, per my doctor about 6.5 hours before my test dose of 100mgs of also 98% pure HCL.  So, it sounds like you weren't being too reckless. 

All I know is that lying to your sitter is not smart, and you know that.   

All that matters is Zion Om, you are doing okay.  You are a potent person, and I am real glad you have joined Eboka. 

Feed the glow until you are the glow!                 







Offline ddraig

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Re: I feel as if I may explode
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2013, 02:54:31 PM »

BUT  Iboga is the the drug of truth.  It is a medicine, a sacrament that has changed us to the very core.  We must carry this truth into our lives.  Whatever that means to you/for you/for us.  And that is integration!  The evolution of the mind and the body.  We take the Iboga, and we have these ideas that are planted like little divine seeds.

Have to agree, and need to hear this myself. It is hard to be given something like this, and not give back to the universe.

Glad you are ok Zion Om!

Offline lalababa

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Re: I feel as if I may explode
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2013, 09:18:28 PM »
Zion Om,

By the way I really like the terms "microbursts" and "Flash Flood", they seem so fitting.  How are you feeling now?  I hope you will tell us about your first flood sometime.

lalababa

Offline Calaquendi

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Re: I feel as if I may explode
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2013, 10:37:37 PM »

Afterward, now, I feel the glow, my minds-eye is sharp, and I am prepared to venture on without the addiction.  I also feel a fire within, stimulating my nerves, making me smile and want to explode.

That's it - Holy Fire, and as real as it gets. I'm glad you're there.  :)

Bless you on your journey and welcome!
" I am you and what I see is me..."

Offline Lissos

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Re: I feel as if I may explode
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2013, 03:53:36 AM »
Quote
"BUT  Iboga is the the drug of truth.  It is a medicine, a sacrament that has changed us to the very core.  We must carry this truth into our lives.  Whatever that means to you/for you/for us.  And that is integration!  The evolution of the mind and the body.  We take the Iboga, and we have these ideas that are planted like little divine seeds.  Everyday, those ideas become exposed to the physical world where our bodies reside, and they are changed, altered, evolved into the Zion Om 2.0, or Blue Tiger 4.0 (cheesy, but you get it) "

Yes!

Saturday morning, first cup of tea of the day, checking out Eboka forum....you brought tears to my eyes...
« Last Edit: February 23, 2013, 04:01:53 AM by Lissos »

Offline Lissos

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Re: I feel as if I may explode
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2013, 03:56:26 AM »
Sorry....double post!
« Last Edit: February 23, 2013, 04:01:11 AM by Lissos »

Offline Tapthesource

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Re: I feel as if I may explode
« Reply #8 on: February 27, 2013, 03:45:09 PM »
But if you are using ibogaine to detox how can you not have taken opiates within a few hours of your dose? YOu are hooked on opiates so you need to take them every few hours to avoid withdrawal. Whehn using iboga for detox instead of taking your next dose of opiates you go into withdrawal and when you hit around a 7 on the withdrawal scale you take the ibogaine. So i am confused. Can someone please clarify if this is correct or not and why? Thanks
"Knowledge, intuition and experience combine to guide us in thought and deed..."

Offline lalababa

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Re: I feel as if I may explode
« Reply #9 on: February 27, 2013, 04:34:17 PM »
Well, The main reason is because that is one way people die on Iboga, it also resets the tolerance level and may potenitate them even, causing opiate Over Dosing.  I don't think Zion Om had a tolerance for oxy's. 

lalababa
« Last Edit: February 27, 2013, 06:54:56 PM by lalababa »