Author Topic: What does it feel like to lose an addiction?  (Read 3293 times)

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Offline axl617

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What does it feel like to lose an addiction?
« on: July 21, 2013, 04:10:54 AM »
Lets say something universal like alcohol or cigarettes. My first time I tried alcohol it totally opened my world to new possibilities in the social world, I'm usually a moody, 'heavy' person so it's hard for me to let loose. Alcohol enables me to become more social than the norm. Cigarettes too, I remember the first one that got me hooked, after a painful experience in life, it was like it turned the lights back on in my world. I promised to stop after a few more but here I am still on about 1.5packs a day.

I have managed to abstain from these substances lately. I limit drinking to once or twice a week (mostly because it just wears me out now, no pleasure) and using e-cigs as much as I can.

Addiction to me is like, you learn about a new experience and you can never really forget it, especially when it makes you feel better. It becomes impossible to see life in long-term, only focusing on the day at hand, no genuine hopes for the future anymore. How would it feel after a good ibogaine flood?

Offline JackTripper

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Re: What does it feel like to lose an addiction?
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2013, 04:53:58 PM »
Greetings axl617

 I took Ibogaine in Dec 2012 to get off of a 4 year dependency to Methadone. It did do the trick & i have remained about 98% opiate free since. The first thing a noticed was that i had zero craving or any urge to get back on Methadone or to substitute it with any other opiates. It wasn't  until day 5 that i realized i hadn't even thought about or considered Methadone/Opiates.
The next 2 months i had mild PAWS but was overall ok. Life was new, EVERYTHING was NEW & alive , I had been given a 2nd chance to live without a dependency on my drug of choice. 3 months in the Ibogaine started to wear off & then I really had to start making choices about what i was & wasn't willing to do. Quality of life is one of the 1st things we have to consider. Do i want to start my days dope sick & then spend a big chunk if not every waking moment of my day chasing a feeling I get from a narcotic or do i want something more from my time on this planet ?

 For me i have had long periods of time clean since first getting hooked in 1997 , so i already knew that there IS another way to live after an addiction to Opiates. The other thing to remember is that once you are an Opiate addict the chemical makeup of your brain is permanently altered from its original state & you can't afford to dabble or chip to much without the high possibility of becoming re-addicted.

 Thinking about getting high is normal for an ex-junkie but as time passes & one develops new daily habits, routines & ways to cope with stress the urge to use does arise less over time. 

 hope this is some what relevant to your question.

jt 
The root does not work for you, you must work for the root.

Offline axl617

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Re: What does it feel like to lose an addiction?
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2013, 12:08:23 PM »
Great story JackTripper! I guess it's sortov like what I expect, it opens new doors for you but you can't ever erase the memory of the drug habit. I guess it's a lifelong commitment

Offline BlueTiger

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Re: What does it feel like to lose an addiction?
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2013, 06:46:05 PM »
Great topic!  A bit tired, so apologies in advance for the sloppy reply.

Just a piece of info: If my sources are still up to date, with regards to opiates, the research done thus far on Ibogaine therapy really only should suggest to us that Ibogaine may change the way our opiate receptors conduct chemistry.  Which supports the theory that the work in making long term change is in the cognitive therapy.  Now, I believe Iboga starts you off with that therapy of the mind (and body), but it has to be nursed everyday like a plant.  My Sat Nam meditations helped me with learning to love myself again.  The more I did that worked, the more sure I was that my real self was coming alive again, and I was listening to the right inner guide.  This process is nothing short of tumultuous, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Iboga set me free and gave me the ultimate taste of life....but the work with with the plant really was only the beginning.  The rest of your life is the true test, and your ability to either train your brain one way, or the other is often the determinant in if you can abstain.   

I have adapted the idea that addiction to separate substances exists, but there's a bigger greater all inclusive "addicted self."  This is what needs to be addressed and I believe Iboga is a great starting point for this, for those who medically qualify for treatment. 

Axl, I know what you mean about how a drug can open a up a new world in terms of coping, functioning, being....

I have flooded numerous times, all for addiction interruption, and I still feel the addict circuitry.  I do feel like I no longer have opiate addiction though. 

I set out to stop opiates and cigs, so I believe that setting intention is everything.  Iboga won't do shit for someone who doesn't want to change their life, IME.  Once a person goes beyond contemplation of change, and is ready to act, then the Iboga re-wiring can assist in the way it is intended to.  This is all my opinion of course. 

I used to mess with Kratom and Vicodin mostly.  Now I worship my natural opiate system.  That may sound weird, but I don't fucking care.  People worship the sun, I can worship my natural opiate system.  Quite the pleasant change for me.  I have become so wonderfully in tune with it over the last 7 months, since it's been resetting.  I can snowboard, I can hike for several miles at high altitude, however I do still hurt in the joints a bit and make weird cracking sounds (usually by the end of the day).  If I feel pain from lots of throwing my body around, or if I am emotionally conflicted, I never use opiates or even get close to it.   I have had pre-contemplation in the last 7 months about doing some Kratom or SAOs, but it never reaches contemplation for me.  And if it does, my bigger badder Iboga self stands up and stomps that thought into oblivion. 

A thought is a powerful thing....a belief can change your world. 


Offline axl617

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Re: What does it feel like to lose an addiction?
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2013, 03:21:51 AM »
Great response BlueTiger. I think I can relate to everything you said. I think it's a common pattern with people who get hooked on things, with the great internet at hand we begin to wonder why and how we become slaves. It really is great to help one understand, wiping away all the self-limiting ideas people might have about addiction. I successfully quit smoking fairly easily, just understanding the homeostatic nature of the brain. I knew so long as I abstain from the dopamine hijacker long enough, my body would begin to produce its own soon enough, allowing for more appropriate mood stability.

Offline lightswitchedon

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Re: What does it feel like to lose an addiction?
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2013, 10:08:17 AM »
Hey there axl617,

This is indeed a great topic primarily because it evokes our gratitude for being clean (meaning free from whatever addiction you're trying to kick).  This gratitude is always a little difficult for me to put into words at this point in time because I am still so overwhelmingly grateful to be where I am today, so much so that I still tear up about it often when reflecting.  Hopefully I can hold onto this feeling and perspective, at least on some level.

So anyway, I've kicked quite a few addictions and for the first time in years I feel free, and this freedom is accompanyed by something else that I thought was ever elusive, that is - I feel good! :o   Now who woulda thought that was possible?  Yes, I am still a little shocked.

I've quit smoking several times, the last being Oct '12.  Without some other chemical in my body, cigs really don't have an appeal.  The first time that I quit it was because I read as much negative info as I could get my hands on regarding smoking.  This helped gear my mind toward quitting as well as laying the groudwork for health consciousness.  Now I am not demonizing tobacco per se, especially considering its uses ceremonially amongst indigenous peoples.  It just doesn't serve much of a purpose to me, not to mention that most cigs aren't quite au naturale.

So anyway, I also have opiates (the gamut of sao and lao) behind me and most recently, caffeine.  I have recently been told how level I am by a couple of different people.  This is just crazy I tell ya.  I haven't been called level ever, other than maybe during the honeymoon phase with opiates, you know, that short, lovely period where using is under control ::).  I am not saying that caffeine is bad and that everyone should quit that, just I am very sensitive to pretty much everything, especially caffeine.  I even use less than half the wood when md'ing now and acheive far greater results as opposed to when I was on suboxone, but that isn't too surprising.

That is another thing about being clean that is beautiful - sensitivity.  I am aware of my body and how it responds, my emotions and how I respond (people & situations).  Sometimes this stuff isn't that comfortable, but at other times it is just awesome.  When listening to great music or connecting with someone on a deep, healing level I get that flood of endorphins and a pleasant rush from that old once broke down system known as the endogenous opioid system.  It is no wonder BlueTiger worships this, that kinda struck a chord with me and I realized that I too worshipped it.  That is probably why I love listening to music all of the time, connecting with nature often and communicating or working with others so that we may heal together.  These things are all so right and they trigger that response for a flood of "happy chemicals".

BT - I love your enthusiam for being clean and add to that the fact that you hike and snowboard and are loving it, well that is all just fantastico!  I recently went on a 4 day, 3 night backpacking trip with some friends along the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore and it was breathtaking....the whole experience.  Clean and incredible!  Also, I asked my buddy a few days ago if it is too early to start thinking about snowboarding (here in Michigan, I know that's hardly "real" snowboarding ;)).  He said "No man, never too early".

So yeah, losing addictions is an awesome thing....however, I don't want to say that I am 100% content with everything.  I am still a seeker and for this reason I self-evaluate (12 steps) and have plans to certainly meet with aya at some point and flood proper with iboga, all for psychospiritual purposes.  I feel so forunate to even be in a place where I will be able to approach these teachers in good health with pure motives.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2013, 10:11:52 AM by lightswitchedon »