Author Topic: I think I'm healed  (Read 2914 times)

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Offline axl617

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I think I'm healed
« on: August 20, 2013, 03:13:28 AM »
Its too early to speak probably but its been a week already of norma living. No more downspirals, existensial angst or chronic fear of the night, a time when I would always rely on surreal mood drops and painful insomnia. I now sleep like a baby and feel like I have an internal support structure keeping me from depression and mind wandering to uncharted territories.

Im not sure how much ibogaine had to do in this, I only took 500mg. I decided to temporarily taper off ssris during my first trial and havent been back since. The return of emotions and sex drive are quite welcome. I think ibogaines sobering sense of death definitely lit a fire under my ass to stop wasting time tryin to find a reason to live and just enjoy what I have. I think the healthy living and commitment to taking baby steps helps a lot. I no longer fear a future without drugs or habitual drinking, however I still have the nicotine monkey on my back. And Iv realized I really lost attachment to an old flame that got me in this state in the first place.

I might finish the other 500mg next week to see if it really did play in my recovery phase, and maybe really help me move on to being as happy as brfore this wholenordeal. For now tho Im satisfied no longer being an angsty bag of sadness and bad habits. I see hope for first time.

Offline rez_runner

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Re: I think I'm healed
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2013, 11:07:07 PM »
Awesome to hear, just make sure to keep it up.  I have had some profound experiences on psychedelics in the past only to revert back to my old ways with time, just because life does that to you I guess.  Then I had to learn the hard way again after I slipped back up and finally realized it.  Live and learn I guess