Author Topic: Drama and Forum Feuds  (Read 13445 times)

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Offline lalababa

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Re: Drama and Forum Feuds
« Reply #30 on: September 15, 2013, 10:22:05 PM »

My last Iboga flood was pure love and bliss and I would like to see us getting along here like the family we once were... Can't we all just mow the lawn?

Skinny! Nice to see you back here and yes you have seem to change you quite a bit :)

Much Love,
lalababa

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Re: Drama and Forum Feuds
« Reply #31 on: September 15, 2013, 10:45:49 PM »
Quote
Can't we all just mow the lawn?
I use a scythe always will and always have been a warrior here and in life.  Now me using a scythe is usually fine but when people deliberately put their heads in front of the blade it's point to be splittin weeds time. 

Skinny,
You never have been mentally balanced and to me you are still not acting/writing rationally.  Yes and I agree mentally imbalanced people should not take these medicines, glad you finally figured that one out.  Which is another reason why I think your dear Miss Jess whoever else comes next with mental issues should not take Iboga or Ayahuasca.  First get eat the right foods to get the body balanced and then the head will follow. 

Quote
As for Kambo, well doing 100+ treatments....your next sting could lead you to croaking like a frog.

Your a fucking idiot, just gonna put it point blank.  And this particular thread I would suggest be on a serious tone, I just asked for the sarcasm to stop and then you went ahead and made several smart ass remarks.  So yes you are a complete numbskull void of reason and likely not changed one bit from last time I saw your writings. 

Quote
Kampum where is the love? Every time I read your posts, all I feel is condescension. You're operating from an "I'm right, you're wrong" mentality; I see no attempts to connect, join, unite. Who cares if you're right? Stop arguing and start being nice. You're making me want to leave this forum.

What's the matter your not having fun yet?  Hey I got an idea there quick guy, stop reading it if it hurts you so bad.  Or you can get some backbone and realize that this issue is highly relevant to forum discussions.  It does matter if someone is right especially when someone is vehemetely called out like JackTripper did to me.  You probably enjoy a good freestyle battle but they cuss and use little actual logic, this is a more thought out form of battling.  Jack Tripper doesn't want to participate though apparently.  Don't think I'm gonna let up just because some stranger starts singing kumbaya.  This is between me and Jack Tripper, any others that get in the ring to support him are bound to get sliced and diced lyrically. 

PS Put that separate material in a separate thread Skinny.  The stuff on Steve Beyer and Ayahuasca retreats is either an unconscious or conscious attempt to veer the subject at hand off topic.  With you theres no telling, but just so you know if that is important for you to talk about here it deserves it's own thread. 

Offline RhythmSpring

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Re: Drama and Forum Feuds
« Reply #32 on: September 16, 2013, 02:12:28 AM »
Jesus, man. I was having fun until you assumed that I wasn't.

I'm outta here. This isn't productive at all. I don't even know what you guys are fighting about anymore.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2013, 02:27:46 AM by RhythmSpring »

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Re: Drama and Forum Feuds
« Reply #33 on: September 16, 2013, 11:39:02 AM »
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I don't even know what you guys are fighting about anymore.

It seems I'm the only one fighting anymore, but as a reminder this is how it started...

Jack Tripper on two seperate occasions demanded that I was not adequate to be a moderator anymore.  Basically his reasons seem to be that I am dogmatic and authoritarian.  The original post that Jack Tripper made was deleted because I knew if it was to stay that it would cause this to happen, basically me going man to man with him.  But overall he took it as a joke and only made the issues worse by using sarcastic comments.  The most insulting one that him and skinny used together was accusing me of being a wannabe cyber shaman.  Now this was allowed and no other moderators nor did Cal stand up for me so I basically took that as a sign that I have to fight this one on my own with no help.  Because Jack Tripper is friends with all of them they have passively chosen to side with him, leaving me on my own to defend my reputation.  I've stood up and will continue to stand up for other reputable members without question but especially moderators and Cal as they are under periodic and guaranteed attack from newcomers. 

The problem gets worse because Admin is never present when they finally discover this thread (who knows when) they will be very upset and likely give me spankings for not representing them in the way they want me to.  I was willing to tread the line for a while but when Admin is continually absent and seems averse to even being here (for a reason I can only assume is obvious when it comes to the qualities of Iboga but I am very much assuming) than I am only at will to represent my own ways of conducting myself.  So that issue was laid bare naked eventually because I felt it had to with no admin or mod stepping in to back me up in any way, in fact they seem to back up Jack Tripper and confirm that I am too harsh.  To this I say, I will continue on this path of warrior medicines and you can guarantee that the results are to make me stronger.  Hence my expressions being to the point and not so gentle as are needed will likely see me not being viable here anymore. 

But that is fine as well because I'd like to send the point home that being gentle has it's place but also being fierce has it's place.  When someone is attacked I wouldn't think that being gentle would serve the occasion.  As Jack Tripper chose to attack me several times it compounded my need to be ferocious.  That need is not lessened by people asking for it to stop.  They should just realize that they can't stomach such threads and move on to more appropriate ones.  Or even more worthwhile is if you are so inspired by the darkness (at least that's what I think you all are trying to touch on) than bring some light hearty threads to the forum. 

This has it's place there is a lot of darkness here and elsewhere in Iboga so to not look into it with a flash light would be ignoring the issues at hand. 

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Re: Drama and Forum Feuds
« Reply #34 on: September 16, 2013, 11:49:16 AM »
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My last Iboga flood was pure love and bliss and I would like to see us getting along here like the family we once were

Heavier dosages are guaranteed to bring out more dark issues, when I have flooded lightly is was really nice but the long term benefits of highlighting the darkness/faults/pains in my life were not thoroughly shown.  So I definitely feel this is a result of lighter floods-more apt to have a nice kind experience as opposed to larger floods-pretty much guaranteed to get torn apart.  But the more you get destroyed the more it seems to rebuild you and allow for the noribogaine to perculate through giving strength to make life changes.  I guess unless your a saint then Iboga is rather sure to bring up some serious darkness that you have brought upon yourself.  But I do remember you dosage being light, than again this is all my take on it.  I think I should make some preface to every statement I make anymore like, this is not dogmatic or the final say, this is just my measly subjective opinion based on 4 years of experience with Iboga.

Offline lalababa

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Re: Drama and Forum Feuds
« Reply #35 on: September 16, 2013, 01:43:06 PM »
my dose wasn't light KP.. I was on 700+mgs of HCL combined with over 2.5gram TA.. Heavy dose for  my 45 kilos, still amazingly beautiful. I could have had a flood on that HCL alone.  my friend who is much larger took 1.2gr of the same stuff and had an intense flood... why are you trying to drag me into this?  I'm not a fighter... I'm a lover and I would just really like this to be over.  We are here to help people not drive them away and I think this thread is toxic and is doing just that, driving out long standing members and I don't really want to be a part of it.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2013, 02:27:01 PM by lalababa »

Offline mo

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Re: Drama and Forum Feuds
« Reply #36 on: September 16, 2013, 03:40:24 PM »
in the hope that this is to everyones benefit, i feel i should write something, so here it goes

kampum, when i first encountered what you describe as your fierce warrior way of dealing with people i was surprised. it seemed to me that you always had a point but i was surprised by how strongly you made your point once you lost patience. you don't suffer fools lightly - is that fair to say? from all memories i have, you never once did this to begin with, you always said and repeated your points, but eventually, well, as said, you seem to loose patience  and then you allow yourself to be rude, by putting 'them' in 'their place'.

to Jack Tripper i would like to say that your absence from answering to kampum as he explains himself here reminds me of a conversation i had a while back on the ayahuasca forums with a christian fundamentalist. i remember trying to get my points across and trying to remain reasonable and everytime he just ignored what i said and went on to make further/different accusations. for a while i felt i had to repeat myself to make my point more clear until i got the clear feeling that he actually enjoyed frustrating me. is this what you are doing? if so, i think it is cruel/mean. if it is, then it is as if you got kampum at his weak spot and now that you have wounded him, you sit back and watch him suffer.
would that not be cowardly? i did start this by saying that this is how it seams to me - i don't want to do you injustice, please speak up.

be that as it may. kampum, i do believe that this is your weak spot. from all i read you never gave bad advise. in some way i find it strange and i am surprised that you let yourself being dragged into this. your advise and your expertise speaks for itself. i feel that you don't do it justice when you become rude. this is a strong thing to say, i realize, because it means, by extension, that this behavior doesn't do the medicines justice.

and the the bitter end of this is the blowback - you are painted in the light of a wannabe cyber shaman.

i don't say this lightly, this is no fun for me to see and speak of. i feel you are suffering and for that, man, brother - bless you! thank you for all the contributions, thank you for who you are and for what you do. i mean it, from the bottom of my heart. i deeply respect you as i perceive you. if i make mistakes in the way i see you and what i say, please forgive me and put me straight.

and to all that feel that this applies to them - how does it feel to put kampum in this light? a victory? really? if so, then i would say that your behavior is cowardly. shameful towards him, his cause, our case, the forums and the medicines.

finally, i want to reflect on yet an other sad fact. when i first registered i loved this forum because of the wisdom of some of the people i considered the elders here. but then they left for reasons not known to me and the forum was never the same again. i believe the forums never got over that loss. no one of us was able to replace them.

there is a saying along the lines of 'wisdom arises after the darkest hour' ..
bless you all and bless this forum
« Last Edit: September 16, 2013, 04:05:43 PM by mo »
in a universe like ours, to beings like us, the idea of a god dying can be quite liberating

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Re: Drama and Forum Feuds
« Reply #37 on: September 16, 2013, 04:36:40 PM »
Ok I must be wrong in your case Lala.  I was going off of my experiences with myself and others being present.  Especially for me the one light dose was quite pleasant as you described it. 

Mo-
I do and will always respect your take on.  Which is different coming from someone I have gotten to know and respect and some one like Jack Tripper that I know nothing of nor have ever had real contact with. 

That being said, the reason I try to address this once and for all, is because of how often it has occurred with my experience here.  Frankly it just builds up, I get attacked here often and sometimes it hurts quite a bit.  A year and a half ago was Atchwan (Cal's long time friend) accusing me of being some wanna be Messiah.  So it was at that time I was hurt enough to leave.  Earlier this year it was Miss Jess acting like I was trying to do harm to her, something on the accord of damaging her and others accused me of doing the same.  So at that point I really did quit but no mods or admin followed through to complete the process.  So I came back.  There have been numerous other occasions here of what I say being taken out of context or my input being called dogmatic.  Not long ago I presented some views I had and Blue Tiger attacked them for being dogmatic.  After 3 years of Eon periodically spouting off rants that hardly any one reads (although I always have) I finally had to address what I thought was going on behind them.  For Eon someone that has had Iboga in his life before most of us it is ashame that he continues to blame others for his present condition.  But in that instance I was pictured as kicking a man while he was down. 

It all adds up and quite frankly I've had enough of being bullied.  I've come to the point of you can take it or leave it but I'm not going to compromise my ethics for the sake of being nice. 

Lala you said something about "what happened to our family or let's be family again", yes that would be nice but first realize the great flux of this forum and people that have left us do to what I view as putting up with horse shit.  Here you have skinny coming back and you seem to be happy which is utterly insane to me if you remember the last time he was on here and the things he said to the most respected member ever here, Johnny B. Good.  Now the mods and admin at that time did not ban him and played it light, so may I ask you did this serve the forum?  Clearly it did not because now we have heard very little from Johnny B. Good ever since than.  And one of the main things skinny is doing is mocking Iboga itself saying instead of getting a life review from it to just do a google search, or whatever this maniac is talking about it doesn't matter.  My point is unless their is firmness the whole thing falls apart, when firmness is brought into an environment that resists these ways of conduct the person attempting to install the firmness will be attacked instead of appreciated.  Every successful operation that I know of thrives on firmness from the top down.  If clear boundaries are not set than the tone is not properly set to abide in clarity. 

This may be toxic to you and others may have said they are leaving, if that makes you want to censor I suggest you utilize your mod abilities and do so.  For me being around here for a while, there are few devoted to the medicines and first and foremost Iboga, most end up on some other tip eventually.  This is and has always been the place for those devoted to Iboga outside of Gabon.  The propensity for individuals to trivialize Iboga here, to me has to do with a lack of oversight.  I attempt to allocate this firmness in what is called harsh or rude or in general being an a-hole or dick head I would guess is what you all are going at.  From the training I have in spirituality the firmness is to be respected and cultivated.  I am clearly not your all example though and the answer I get over and over again is that my way of driving a point home is not received with respect.  You can see how basically all Iboga and/or Ayahuasca and/or Kambo practitioners have no place on this forum...if they are disrespected in virtual reality but greatly respected in reality than why would they want to put up with it? 

These are reasons why I find this having a proper place here.  What exactly is toxic about it?  When such strong statements are made it is helpful to have specific quotes so an adequate question response can develop. 


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Re: Drama and Forum Feuds
« Reply #38 on: September 16, 2013, 04:50:53 PM »
"finally, i want to reflect on yet an other sad fact. when i first registered i loved this forum because of the wisdom of some of the people i considered the elders here. but then they left for reasons not known to me and the forum was never the same again. i believe the forums never got over that loss. no one of us was able to replace them."

We or I was suppose to find out what happened to Grateful Dad especially.  But like many times before and since, admin made promises to communicate and then did not.  So it became very shady to me in that whole process, they said they reinstalled him as a global moderator but he has only been here briefly since.  He won't answer my pm's either so likely he feels very hurt by whatever happened.  While it could be assumed that some explanation would stir things up, it is my observation that with no explanation it looks very shady.  So I still wish to learn what that was all about to make Grateful Dad go from being on here all the time as an admin to virtually overnight being squashed like a bug.  Made me quite paranoid as a mod here that's for sure. 

I would suggest others moved on for the lack of being taken seriously, but I could be wrong.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2013, 04:53:32 PM by Kampum »

Offline lalababa

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Re: Drama and Forum Feuds
« Reply #39 on: September 16, 2013, 06:47:26 PM »
KP,

I just feel that most negativity can be toxic so no, I don't have any specific examples just most of this thread is negative.  Just my opinion.  I really wish things would settle down.  I know JT personally and he is a great guy.  I know you are a great person from our many PM's and phone calls.  I love you both.  I don't think he has responded because he has returned to working a hell of a lot since the weather disaster seems to be over in this area.  I am sure he will respond to you.  I truly care for each and every one of you and especially the ones I know personally.  I have spoken with skinny on the phone in the past as well and know he was going through some very rough times and he does seem to have genuinely changed quite a bit which is why I am glad to see him mentally healthier and participating again.  I know he offended a lot of people in the past and he seems to be well aware of that and has been trying to make amends, which I truly respect and I don't think digging into his personal past is a good thing.  We come here to share our stories and if things get dragged up much later it could keep others from feeling safe to post their stories and hardships.

 I know a lot of people have left but some come back every once in awhile.  I haven't been on here much lately because I work 7 days a week this time of year and have many other things going on in my life at the moment.  Some have possibly moved on but that doesn't mean that there won't be other great folks joining us here. 

lala

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Re: Drama and Forum Feuds
« Reply #40 on: September 17, 2013, 08:31:08 AM »
That's fine if there's a delay on response.  It's fine but very likely I will not have the need to express myself anymore in this regard.  I think I've gotten all that out, amen. 

I certainly have a different take in viewing darkness, mediumship, incorporation, vodun and overall not being afraid of darkness to emit the brightest light.  Coincidently Iboga does all that on it's own, unless like I said, your a saint.  I guess my point is I see this forum as needing to address some things to help it purge some toxins, I attempted to do that in here as well.  I don't think going on as business is usual was going to serve the same purpose. 

Well likely newcomers would find the range of topics interesting and this one certainly hits the low end.  I don't think that's a bad thing, at least not for me.  I guess your ultimate concern is that people with experience in Iboga having these sorts of posts being unhealthy.  I could see that but what I find more unhealthy is not expressing these feelings. 

Jack Tripper is probably a fine person but I still feel like his problem with me was deeper than what was presented and possibly something I mirrored in him that he didn't like.  It was odd how he and others keep talking about my ego not realizing by doing so it is very unhealthy and actually emboldens the ego to have others attack like that.  Some approaches are very counter intellectual when it comes to dealing with humans and they are far more pro intuitive.  I think all of that was missed (accidently or purposefully) when he first attempted to address his problems with me. 

I know some individuals here who haven't returned after only minor criticisms, small jabs even.  Isn't that more of an ego issue than any?  Would not more credit be given to someone willing to come back time and time again and defend himself and here those out delivering the criticisms?  To me as a newcomer that is what I would pay attention to, rather than running away when the going gets tough to stay in there to keep in line and fight for your life.  It is a metaphor when it comes to approaching life and Iboga with courage. 

So lessons are different to everybody but to me I feel more growth from this thread than I do being less of a person.  I can guarantee if I would have run away and quit (which I have done in the past) I would have been feeling dejected and at a loss. 

Offline skinny

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Re: Drama and Forum Feuds
« Reply #41 on: September 18, 2013, 12:18:10 PM »
Regarding the Admin pkeffect stated he has a full time job and has to maintain all the sites, so I imagine if he's doing IT work (40-80hrs) a week he doesn't have time to micromanage all the drama on here.  The spam issue did teach us a lesson about how the forums can become messy.  If you are a 'neat freak' that would bother you, life gets messy even for those who seem to have their 'shit together'.

Regarding myself, well yes lala I did change quite a bit, but since I last posted here about a year ago I've experienced much loss, pain, and challenges to my moral and spiritual beliefs.  If it wasn't for MissJess talking about 'depersonalization', I've probably wouldn't done some research on this topic as I going through some severe depression just a few months ago.  I'm glad she was brave enough to talk about it, I know its not easy and embarassing to put yourself out there and beg for help.  Been there, done that too.  I'm back, but that's doesn't make me immune from getting sick or going batshit insane again.  Death seems inevitable, it happens sooner or later for everyone.  I hope to live a long happy healthy life.  And I've already asked for forgiveness to on this forum, if not JohnnyBGoode it was K.  I'm too lazy to reference myself but I can tell from my inbox that some forum members PMed me thanking me for doing that.  These days I'm more a family man literally living under the same roof with my mother and brother.  Oh my 'personality' did seem to return, but I shouldn't let myself get too carried away.  :D

And lala I'm not sure if we talked but we did text, so close enough.  I'd say you have changed dramatically and seem much more peaceful, happy, and loving! :)

Regarding K, well I already said what I had to say.  I've even had someone message me asking me to reshare something he posted way back, but I never replied.  Something about mo and K saying oversharing the teachings Iboga gives you tarnishes its lessons.

Speaking of not responding, where is GratefulDad?  I thought he was appointed Global Moderator or something.  Yeah he's one of the other masculine egos that would spar with forum members here.  I know he's contributed a lot in the past, he was one of the 'psychonauts' who did psychedelics for recreation and have an attitude of bragging about it.  Living the roadie for Further, the Grateful Dead band...who knows what happened to him, maybe life is treating him harshly now.

And lets not forget those who came before us,

Howard Lotsof suffered greatly for ibogaine.  Incarceration, feuds with the medical establishment, Deborah Mash, even to his death his wife was having a hard time raising money to get him a tombstone!  He may have died financially poor, but he was rich in legacy.  If it wasn't for his efforts we probably wouldn't have Iboga even a topic of discussion in the USA.

Dana Beal's been incarcerated for marijuana and he was the Timothy Leary of ibogaine.  I've heard someone who I spoke to call him a 'certifiable nutcase', but he's helped some many people suffering by promoting marijuana/ibogaine awareness.  Dana Beal led to Patrick Kroupa led to Mindvox led to underground ibogaine providers led to Sara Glatt led to Dimitri led to Eboka led to a bunch of forums where you can get information nowadays.

skinny

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