Author Topic: Head broken open, contents spilled out.  (Read 3341 times)

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Offline Fingolfin

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Head broken open, contents spilled out.
« on: October 11, 2013, 02:49:55 AM »
I had my second flood/near-flood dose of Iboga last Friday in the form of two grams of TA. I feel Iboga truly is a special substance. I consider it the 'King of Psychedelics', and I believe it can do things that other psychedelics cannot (although I find mescaline amazing as well, and look forward to exploring ayahuasca more fully in the future).
It was brutal though. I first had 5 or 6 hours of rather beautiful visions, I could feel the Iboga "cleaning my brain", rewiring my synapses, and I was shown the profound ways that meditation has rewired my brain. After the visions faded, I felt exhausted, nauseous, and wrung-out. I just wanted to get through that phase of it, and feel the noribogaine glow take over, but the marathon was far from over. I kept being shown and processing difficult parts of my upbringing, especially around my relationship with my father, and how I avoidance and suppression were my dominant coping strategies in my life which caused so many problems as I transitioned into adulthood. It felt like my mind was being opened and emptied out in front of me. On top of this I had so many disturbing images revolving around gun violence, US military aggression, the police-state, overpopulation, climate change, and nuclear weapons.
Over 20 hours after taking it, I was feeling beaten down. I thought a small change of scenery might help me feel a little lighter, so I went into the living room of my apartment where my friend who was sitting for me was. I saw light streaming in through a window and I felt like I was just about to turn the corner. I walked into the my bathroom, looked at my self in the mirror, saw this beautiful person that I felt deep love and compassion for staring at me, and I cried tears of joy. I felt so light, so glad to be alive and have this life, so strong. After lying down and basking in that feeling for a couple hours, I went and talked to my friend about my experience. Another friend of mine came by later, and we spent hours outside on my porch talking. It's been a very wet, miserable fall here, but this day it was warm, clear, and sunny, so placid and still. There were beautiful iridescent streaks on the few clouds in the sky, which I took as a good sign. I've recovered very well, and I'm still glowing from this experience, The depression and feeling of being stuck and stagnant has left me and I feel clear on the actions I need to keep my life vital and guided by my values.
I'm so grateful that Iboga exists, and it has provided me so much insight, I know however that it is up to me to implement the lessons that it has taught me into my life. in summary, wow!

Offline kbud

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Re: Head broken open, contents spilled out.
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2013, 09:08:42 AM »
thank you sooo much for sharing your experience. It sounds hard but amazing. I hope you have continued success in all you hope for!!  peace!   ( I've only micro dosed, and also grateful that iboga exist )

Offline ddraig

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Re: Head broken open, contents spilled out.
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2013, 11:23:12 AM »
thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this beautiful experience. iboga is something special.
Much of what you said resonated with my experiences. Reminds me of what a beautiful gift iboga, and the other plant teachers are.

Interesting about the global messages. Just read http://www.amazon.com/Returning-Sacred-World-Spiritual-Emerging/dp/B0064XHYME which I highly recommend and argues that the plant teachers may be essential allies in helping humanity safely transition.

Offline DiamondHeart

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Re: Head broken open, contents spilled out.
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2013, 12:23:17 PM »

Thanks - reading this just made my day. Very heart warming to read.

I walked into the bathroom, looked at my self in the mirror, saw this beautiful person that I felt deep love and compassion for staring at me, and I cried tears of joy.

So many folks have shared a similar experience on here. Just beautiful. Do me a favor and give yourself a big hug.

Offline RhythmSpring

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Re: Head broken open, contents spilled out.
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2013, 01:00:05 PM »
Thanks for sharing. My flood had some similarities: I had an exhausting barrage of visions, then I went to the bathroom, vomited, and then with the sunlight pouring through the windows I awoke to a new, beautiful universe (me).

During the first set of images I also had visions of gun violence, overpopulation, all the woes of the world. It only makes sense. Many of us have internalized the world's problems, and we need to see them for what they are.