Author Topic: Messed up my flood dose  (Read 2505 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline ibogaman

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
    • View Profile
Messed up my flood dose
« on: August 13, 2014, 06:08:34 PM »
Hey guys and girls,

I took an iboga flood dose for the first time and experienced some problems with the trip that I'd like to ask about.

I am not a drug user and never have been. I'm not on anti-depressants or any other drug. I don't smoke and I rarely drink. I took the tabernanthe iboga root bark in my room at home in order to try to cure myself of severe depression and the fact that I over-slept most days at university this year (due to depression) - (10-12 hours sleep a day) I just couldn't get up out of bed most mornings which meant I didn't have enough time in the day to be active and go for runs and make my body healthy.

For clarification here is the dosage schedule I used:

Took about 2g two weeks before
(To make sure I wasn't allergic).
Everything got brighter and bit jittery. Nothing much.

Took 5g a week prior to the flood dose to get a "basic" experience.
Purged and saw a lot of symbols popping up with my eyes closed. No big deal no lessons learned. Couldn't walk for a day and had a lot of jittery visual trails or artifacts for a day. Felt a bit better afterwards.

Then finally took a 20gram flood dose as follows
0:00  - 2g    tabernanthe iboga root bark  (ground root bark was stuffed in capsules)
0:30  - 2g   
1:00  - 2g
2:00  - 4g
3:00  - 10g
------------
TOTAL 20g    tabernanthe iboga root bark


20g Flood Dose Experience

I was in a total state of confusion the whole experience during the flood dose. I didn't "meet the spirit of iboga" or get any questions answered. My family was away the whole day so didn't have any trip sitter. I listened to Bwiti music sitting up in bed for the first 4 hours and tapped my "third eye" on my forehead with my eyes closed to try to see when I had finally "broken my head open" as the shamans say. There was a stage at which every-time I tapped on my third eye I saw a colour-pencil being thrust deeper and deeper into a film-like membrane (that represented my forehead). This was the most intense visual I had gotten on any iboga trip. The deepness of the thrust of the colour-pencil depended on how hard I tapped and finally it burst through the membrane, and I descended into TOTAL confusion, most of which I have now forgotten. I'm not sure if that counts as "breaking my head open" (as the shamans say)?

After the first 4 hours of holding it in and seeing pointless cartoon visions that meant nothing at all and that I hadn't thought about in a decade (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/ Clifford The Big Red Dog/ Mickey Mouse/The Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland) I purged (vomited until my face went sore & totally numb). I vomited so much, and so hard for SO long (20 minutes), that I REALLY thought I wasn't going to be able to breathe anymore, and I would suffocate to death), after which I turned my bwiti music playing in my headphones (from my ipod) off, and I slunk down into MASS confusion, completely unable to sleep. I was basically lying in bed, awake in a mass confused state unable to sit up for about 20 hours with the nauseating "burnt concentrated-coffeebeans and wood" smell of iboga root bark filling my nose from my stomach and with the knowledge at the back of my mind that if I moved too much I would feel like vomiting violently, even though there was nothing much left in my stomach. It was SO unpleasant you can't imagine like the worst military boot camp imaginable where you're just tortured and disoriented for 20 hours straight.

I was fairly relaxed and completely still during the 20 hours confused phase but I couldn't think any thoughts - my short term memory was totally shot (gone) so I just kept forgetting the last word I was thinking. I tried writing down my thoughts on an iPad for a little while but I found it difficult to spell words because I kept forgetting which word I was writing and what the previous character had been which made it incredibly difficult to write anything and I finally gave up.

After the 20 hour "ordeal" which I promised myself I would NEVER go through again I cried a lot (I felt a lot of empathy for people who were aging before my eyes and that's why I cried I hadn't been able to shed a tear in 5 years!) and felt a lot of love for everyone in my life (previously I had become quite cold to everyone). For the next 5 days I was 50% less depressed than normal (so I was no longer remotely suicidal) kept hugging all of my family and I had some trouble walking for the 2 days following and jittery vision for the remainder of those five days. I was also able to get up out of bed after 8 hours sleep which was an improvement on the 10-12hrs sleep I had needed for a full year previously. Getting out of bed it the morning was also a lot easier.  The most profound effects was that nature looked incredibly beautiful - I'd always wondered why people said nature was beautiful before now I realized my mind had categorized all the plants for efficiency so I hadn't noticed how awe-inspiring tall trees or hedges were or how pretty colorful petals were in the summer mornings (6 am). Nature really did look 14-20x more beautiful than normal I couldn't figure out WHY it seemed so much more beautiful at the time but it did. Now I've figured out the reason - colours "pop" (reach your attention) much more but also my emotional mind is connecting with nature the way it juts out into the sky and in 3d is AWE-inspiring whereas before it was just "normal". Looking at nature now is even significantly better than looking at nature as a kid. That's really cool but seeing as I usually stay indoors most of my day is not spent with this added benefit.

Lasting Effects of the "Flood Dose"

After about 20 days the only effect that has really lasted is how beautiful nature looks. The jittery vision is gone. The difficulty walking is non-existent. The anti-depressant effect means that I am only 10-15% less depressed than I was before I ever took iboga (as opposed to 50% less depressed in the days following the flood dose). I sleep about 9 hours a night now which is still less than the 10-12 hours a night I was sleeping prior to taking iboga.

Everyone else seems to talk to an iboga spirit who is harsh on them and tells them answers but when I asked questions (when I was able to) during my flood dose I got no replies. Yes I saw visions, but they were all cartoons from my childhood that I hadn't thought about for more than a decade (like teenage mutant ninja turtles, goofy and mickey mouse, etc..), and they taught me nothing. Everyone else seems to have cured their severe depression and people have even cured bipolar disorder but all I have gained 20 days later is a 10-15% decrease in depression and an ability to wake up an hour or two earlier in the mornings and nature looks much better. All of that is great but it hasn't cured the underlying depression much or answered any deep questions I had about my life going into the process.


What did I do wrong?

My dad says I probably took TOO much, he was reading on the issue and apparently the shamans keep dosing you a little more slowly to keep you at a level at which you are not TOO confused whereas the majority of my trip was spent in extreme confusion because I lumped the doses together too much. He suggested I go through this harrowing experience AGAIN but with 2 grams given every hour or two making the full dose (20g) take 10-20 hours to consume. Is he right?

« Last Edit: August 13, 2014, 06:13:03 PM by ibogaman »

Offline DiamondHeart

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 220
    • View Profile
Re: Messed up my flood dose
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2014, 08:29:54 PM »
Hi Ibogaman

Sorry your flood didn't go as planned. Actually, many floods don't so don't beat yourself up about it.

So, first off, dosage is dependant on various factors - the strength of the bark, the weight of the person and the sensitivity of the person taking it. I'm 135lbs and 20g RB taken as you described would do squat for me. I would have some sort of experience (likely mostly purging) but definitely not a full on flood experience. You can search the forum to find variations on dosing.

Your experience with the pencil is not the "breaking the head open" experience. The meaning of this is your spirit escapes from your physical body - during a full flood you can't move - your body is useless - its all about separating your mind from your body.

Flooding on RB is really tough on the body - I have tried it and experienced the hellish purging that you described (I also keep repeating to myself never again during the breaks in purging!! Seems to be a common reaction!). I would recommend TA or at the least a combination of RB and TA if you can't afford all TA. Some folks have reported similar difficulties to yours when they took a significant amount but not enough to "break through".


Everyone else seems to talk to an iboga spirit who is harsh on them and tells them answers but when I asked questions (when I was able to) during my flood dose I got no replies. Yes I saw visions, but they were all cartoons from my childhood that I hadn't thought about for more than a decade (like teenage mutant ninja turtles, goofy and mickey mouse, etc..), and they taught me nothing. Everyone else seems to have cured their severe depression and people have even cured bipolar disorder but all I have gained 20 days later is a 10-15% decrease in depression and an ability to wake up an hour or two earlier in the mornings and nature looks much better. All of that is great but it hasn't cured the underlying depression much or answered any deep questions I had about my life going into the process.
Not true - not everyone has the same experience. Some people have very kind iboga guides. Not everyone gets their depression wiped away in one go. I suspect some of the purging you went through was related to your depression.

Try not to have expectations and this will help you avoid disappointment. Let the experience be the experience and learn and appreciate what you can from it. Focus on the good stuff like your new perspective on nature. Be kind to yourself and try to be open to whatever insights iboga may still have for you.

If you attempt another flood (but wait a good while before you do that), please don't do it without a sitter  - you got lucky this time. Do more research and read more experiences.

Take care
« Last Edit: August 13, 2014, 08:49:52 PM by DiamondHeart »

Offline ibogaman

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
    • View Profile
Re: Messed up my flood dose
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2014, 05:10:28 AM »
Thanks so much for your reply DiamondHeart! You're the greatest, you clarified 99% of my questions! (Wish you were my iboga spirit-voice!)

I have also heard that Root Bark is a much tougher experience than the extract. I can get the extract for the same exact price as the root bark, but I chose the Root Bark because I wanted to completely respect the Bwiti tribes traditions and have the "full" experience, as I felt they had developed their iboga process for a good reason. I've had nearly the full experience on root bark now and, well... I think I'd very much prefer the TA extract this time ;)

I will undergo another treatment, this time under a higher dose of TA and a sitter (Does 25g sound better, or should I go for 30g?). I really wanted to "break my head open", get the full experience, and fix the majority or all my neurotransmitter deficiencies causing the severe depression, but clearly I was too confused to experience the full "separation of the spirit from the body", so that is what I aim for on my next trip.


I have a few smaller questions remaining:

Am I supposed to sit upright for the whole ceremony?
This is a big question. (I can only sit upright for 5-10 hours before I become too weak, and have to become flat). I heard a shaman say that "if you lie down, the spirit of iboga lies down with you" meaning that resting in bed would hamper the full experience. Is this true, or does it only apply to the first 5-10 hours (where you see all the symbols and a lot of the visions). I would much prefer to lay flat and resting for the whole trip than try to sit up (if this is an option).


How much is enough TA extract for you? (As you said 20g of root bark would not be enough.)


Is there any way I can avoid the iboga destroying my short-term memory during the trip (so that I can actually think clearly)?


Is there any special technique to tapping my third eye during the come-up of the trip? Should I tap rhythmically (regularly-on-beat) or arhythmically (off-beat), or does it not matter much?


Are the visions supposed to be pretty pointless (to distract the brain from the work iboga is doing in the background)?


Offline RhythmSpring

  • Global Moderator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 471
    • View Profile
Re: Messed up my flood dose
« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2014, 09:31:43 AM »
Hey ibogaman, I experienced a similar confusion and associated vision as you described on my first flood. The vision was of a piece of paper or wood floating above my forehead, with a paragraph written on it which was my Identity. Then, a pencil appeared. With frightening speed, the pencil's eraser end erased the paragraph line by line. Immediately after that, I felt my mind truly become blank, and for me, confusion ensued as well.

In reality, my short-term memory had *vanished*. I had long-term memory recollections okay, and awareness of the moment (however Ibogafied), but no idea what had happened or what I had thought a minute prior. Talk about confusion.

I agree with your Dad that you took too much. That was my eventual evaluation of my own experience. I am a very sensitive person, and will feel the teeniest microdoses of anything. So for my next flood, I plan on doing between 1.5 and 2g TA, instead of the ~2.6 I did.


As for your questions:

It is more than okay to lie down. Sometimes you just have to in order delve into your visions. The position you should assume is whatever position you feel most comfortable experiencing your visions. For my flood, that was lying down for the first part, then walking around the house, then sitting in meditation/la-la land for a few hours.

I think you might just have to let your short term memory go (temporarily). If this worries you, GET A SITTER to watch over you.

Don't worry about tapping your third eye. Just surrender to the experience. You don't have to do anything special.

Many visions will seem pointless--this is common. Just remember, just because your conscious mind isn't grasping it doesn't mean that it's not productive. Go with it. What's wrong with lack of meaning? Does everything have to be meaningful? Do you have to understand everything that happens to you? You can't.

Offline lightswitchedon

  • Donating Member
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 255
    • View Profile
Re: Messed up my flood dose
« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2014, 08:19:08 AM »
The most profound effects was that nature looked incredibly beautiful - I'd always wondered why people said nature was beautiful before now I realized my mind had categorized all the plants for efficiency so I hadn't noticed how awe-inspiring tall trees or hedges were or how pretty colorful petals were in the summer mornings (6 am). Nature really did look 14-20x more beautiful than normal I couldn't figure out WHY it seemed so much more beautiful at the time but it did. Now I've figured out the reason - colours "pop" (reach your attention) much more but also my emotional mind is connecting with nature the way it juts out into the sky and in 3d is AWE-inspiring whereas before it was just "normal".  Looking at nature now is even significantly better than looking at nature as a kid.

This is very profound if you ask me.