Thanks for such a kind and positive response cal. I really appreciate it man.
So I've taken a total of around .9 g over about an eight day period. I haven't had a drink in 10 days which seemed impossible to me for a while. I've even had some stressful and frustrating things happen and haven't drank and feel like I don't want to. Very few cravings. Still using pot but it has been much less anxiogenic and been more enjoyable overall. I don't particularly feel compelled to quit using that atm, its not something I feel is detrimental to my life. The addiction part of it was appealing to me but I have other reasons for using iboga aside from its addiction potential.
I feel like I am coming back to life in a lot of ways. I am experiencing real joy again that isn't synthetic or fake in any way. I'm experiencing feelings that I thought had escaped me. Good feelings I haven't felt since childhood. I get such pleasure just from listening to music, it gives me goosebumps and I am really starting to feel again. I am recovering from the drug zyprexa that I was taking for alleged bipolar depression. The diagnosis doesn't hold much weight with me and none of the drugs helped very much. I responded to zyprexa but only after years of other pharms. I was having a lot of problems physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I felt defeated and had started dabbling in opiates again here and there. Been sick for around 14 months now and a lot of that was pure hell, pure fucking hell man. Some of the stuff may not go away, Im not entirely sure yet, but I am feeling 1000 times better, I do know that and much healthier. I am still having some issues but improving at an exponential rate and feeling better than I have in years.
The first week I was a little over stimulated and scatter brained but that's subsiding. I am sure getting off of the booze was part of that. I am starting to sleep better now. Feeling more tired, which is fantastic bc I haven't been sleeping well for a long time. Most of the time I am wide awake and my brain won't shut off. I feel much more grounded, centered, and calm.
Overall I am feeling much less scared than I was about a flood. I have pretty extensive experience with psychedelics, but have been too fragile from whatever happened with zyprexa to trip. That feeling isn't very desirable to me anymore, had one too many waltzes with madness. There was a component to the zyprexa situation that felt like a many months long bad trip that may have something to do with the 5ht-2a antagonism. It took a lot out of me. I am not really interested in anything that is going to shatter my mind into a million pieces, I don't think that would be good for me right now. I know this will be intense and difficult but I feel good and confident about it. I would like to go deeper in this journey bc I think I am going to get a lot out of it.
I am going to give it some more time, and give myself some more time to heal but I will heed your advice about sticking just with one or the other. I also want to let some of the noribogaine get out of my system. I have around 3 grams left, maybe I should take a little more than 2.5 g? I am not physically hooked on anything right now besides a little gabapentin that I take once a day (tapering off of that too). No interaction with ibogaine for me. It has no effect on serotonin, dopamine, or nor-epinephrine, its a selective calcium channel blocker and may have an indirect effect on gaba with long term use but there is some controversy about that. The provider said it was around 50-60% so 2.5 g should still be around 16-19 mg/kg. I thought that sounded about the right range. It seems people take a lot more than that though and want to go deep enough to fully heal all this baggage I carry around.
Anyway, things are going well, I am sure there is more that I would like to say about it, its kind of hard to put into words but I am feeling fantastic!
Cheers mate.