Author Topic: Difficult & Unpleasant  (Read 4311 times)

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Offline Eon T McKnight

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Difficult & Unpleasant
« on: June 29, 2010, 08:23:11 AM »
I just had a most difficult and unpleasant experience on 2g TA.  I had eaten little and sensibly for 2 days prior.  I cleaned my digestive system out by taking a fiber laxative (psyllium) both of the 2 nights prior.  My last meal was a sandwich at noon.

At 6:30PM I took capsules containing 2g TA.  Within 1 hour I had to shit, it was quite loose.  Around 2 hours I was getting the iboga effects and had to shit again while starting to see colors.  At around midnight, I started shitting again and have had diarrhea ever since and it has been 36 hours since ingestion.

The 5 prior times I have used TA were exactly different.  Those times, iboga slowed down my GI tract.

The first 5 hours (until ~ 1AM) were fine.  Definitely iboga effects, but not particularly strong  --  I figured the TA was just a bit weaker than what I had gotten previously.  The ataxia was mild and I had no problems getting to the bathroom and back.

Interestingly, as I was in the process of making vows to not be depressed again, my work to cure my depression went totally off the rails.  I was literally assailed with thoughts of death, failure, hopelessness, misery and the like.  The only good part is that I managed to not let it get me depressed, there was still a little corner of me apart from all of the terrible thoughts that was not depressed.  At about 2PM the next afternoon, 12 hours later, the negative visions and thoughts started to subside.

This morning, I am clear and feeling good, but the ibo-glow that I have experienced in the past is missing.

I am wondering if some of that bad RB had been used to make the TA I got, since it was from the same vendor.

ET

Offline sassyfras

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2010, 11:57:59 AM »
It sounds as if the extract had adulterants (possibly from the extraction process?) in it or perhaps something besides the Iboga. It's reading reports like yours that can make me a bit leery of taking Ibo. Since I've never experienced the "Ibo effects" I wouldn't know that it wasn't the norm to go through something like you did & an experience like that would make you question the value (& safety) of ingesting it.

I'm glad you are feeling ok now, Eon! Another thing that came to mind when I was reading your post was remembering some of the times back when I used to trip on acid.....every once in a while I would have a decidedly unpleasant experience, especially if the trips were too close together. I often cast an I-Ching reading while high, the words in that book (the original Evans/Wentz edition) would literally spring from the pages to stun me with their truth & uncanny accuracy in describing my present state of being. On one of these rather unpleasant trips I cast and got Chapter 4, " Youthful folly" with the judgement that said in part: " The young fool seeks me.
                                                                                                                      At the first oracle I inform him.
                                                                                                                      If he asks two or three times, it is importunity.
                                                                                                                      If he importunes, I give him no information."

I was being told that I had already gone through that door (of perception) numerous times, only to come face to face with the same revelations, the same fundamental truths.....so why did I persist in returning so often when my job was to weave these truths into the fabric of my daily life?
I was the archetypal young fool, asking the same question over & over again.

I'm certainly not trying to suggest that you are a fool or that anything like this may have been the reason for your recent unpleasant Ibo journey, Eon. I suppose my question is, " Does Ibo (like acid) ever tell you to leave it alone for a while( or forever)?" I'm curious because it seems as if quite a few of you use it pretty frequently.


Offline GratefulDad

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2010, 11:58:43 AM »
I have eaten quite a bit of TA and now been munching bark, and diarrhea has never been trouble.  Kicking dope, even, only after the full experience have I experienced it..  My guess is no eating, then taking laxatives was probably what caused your trouble.  Not sure why anyone would eat laxative before ibo, but I suspect that is the root of your trouble. 

Those bad feelings were probably unresolved issues coming to the surface.  My suggestion would be to quit piddling around with mild doses, get you a full flood dose, with bark, extract, whatever, and have iboga show you how to sort through your problems, rather than gradually uncovering things, and never really clearing them out of the old head..  Now it sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo since I can't explain every mechanism of interaction of chemicals with your brain, but I been eating the stuff enough to get a real good feel for how it works. 

I been munching bark the last few days, and will probably eat some more today.  I ate 4 grams of nice quality bark two days ago, ate 2g yesterday, and I have been tripping pretty decent for days.  The low doses sure let me have plenty of time to work with iboga and have iboga type teachings without having much of an ordeal.  Then again, I am pretty darn happy, and have no shame, guilt, or issue that has been causing me trouble. 

Obviously I can't judge your extract, nor do I know where or how you acquired it, or who you dealt with to get it, and even if I did, it could only be speculation.  On the other hand, I know iboga can do some funny stuff to ones stomach, and if you don't puke, sometimes it has to come out the other end.  I'd suggest never eating laxatives with iboga, and get over the "fear".  Just eat a real dose, and it might actually show you how to straighten out whatever your issues might be. 

I hope you're feeling better!!
GratefulDad

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

fallout330

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2010, 12:24:30 PM »
Sorry to hear of the difficult experience GD. Hope your feeling well again.

Peace

Offline GratefulDad

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2010, 02:12:28 PM »
I think you mean Eon, fallout, I have a wonderful experience daily!!  :) 

BTW, I was thinking a lot about no food and a high fiber laxative before iboga.  That has to be the reason for all the diarrhea.  i mean I have no clue why anyone would eat a laxative before tripping, unless they planned on taking a crap while tripping..  Put that on a empty stomach with some crazy alkaloids, and it's pretty easy to see how that can occur. 

As for the tough emotional stuff, WELL, that is what iboga does!  It uncovers that stuff.  By going deep you might see these things, but if you stay with it, you work your way through, let go, forgive yourself, and heal, then you are free.  This is the stuff people talk about it being a bad trip, or not fun, but I on the other hand see these negative emotions and figure out how they are silly feelings to hold on to.  I let go, and then everything works out better.  I feel better and act better, and then iboga stays in there, and helps remind you daily until it wears all the way off.  But I am not sure I ever want to do that, even.. 

I mean I guess you can only feel so right and good, but iboga will definitely help you keep it in check, ONCE you get it all worked out.  This is the reason for the flood, then small doses regularly.  That is how Bwiti do it.  That is how folks detox (who are healthy enough).  So doing these low doses is therapeutic, but it's prolonging all this hard stuff for you because you are going through it slowly, with less intensity..  Or at least that is what I feel it does.. 

Best wishes brother!!
GratefulDad

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

fallout330

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2010, 02:21:36 PM »
Thanks for the correction GD. I did mean Eon :)

Nganga Nobunoni +

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #6 on: June 29, 2010, 05:23:30 PM »
All sounds like Iboga to me'

Good to see you got some healings Eon'

Blessings and Light'

+NNM+

Offline Calaquendi

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2010, 05:59:33 PM »
Hey Eon good to see you brother...I've missed you! Sorry you had a difficult time. I'd like to share that a similar thing happened with my brother on a flood dose of extract that we made (the acetic acid 'Achtwan's extraction) My brother had no nausea but a few hours into it he had what he described as a "butt purge" - sounds funny but he wasn't laughing I promise...pooping on any mind altering drug is...well...shitty, but I guess I wanted to illustrate that this isn't entirely unheard of. And I think GD may be right about the laxatives in the preceding days. Maybe that played a part? Was this TA something that was already 'professionally' prepped, or was it made from root bark by a lay person? Do you know if it was a salt or freebase?

I've done iboga quite a few times, in varying amounts, and not all of the experiences were pleasant - and I guess frankly I expected them to be. So it was kind of a surprise and a disappointment for me, but I realize that this is part of the big picture and even these kinds of experiences can be valuable. I'm glad you're okay.

I will be off and on for the remainder of the week - so my posting will be a bit inconsistent and kinda here-and-there. But I'll check in as often as I am able.

Thanks for sharing man!
" I am you and what I see is me..."

Offline Eon T McKnight

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #8 on: June 29, 2010, 09:59:13 PM »
Thanks for your kind replies, ibogang!

After further reflection, and your replies, I have come to believe that the TA was indeed good.  It was my tummy that was bad.     :P

Interestingly, while I was well and truly freakin' out over the intense and horrible things I was seeing and thinking, there was a part of me that was calm and NOT DEPRESSED over it.  Some of the freaky things were thoughts, but interspersed with them were true ibo visions, which contradicts the 'bad TA' theory.

I was getting panicky because they continued with unabated force for several hours.  I was concerned that the whole episode was going to leave me MORE depressed and anxious than before  --  which has turned out not to have happened.  (whew!)

I actually had the great good fortune to talk with Sara about the experience, which helped me deal with the experience and put things into perspective.  She said that diarrhea is certainly not unheard of and can be as cleansing as vomiting.

One thing that Sara mentioned is that smallish (~200mg) of TA every week or two seems to be more effective for depression than a series of large doses.  It would probably be the most cost effective and easiest way to keep the ibo alks at a therapeutic level for months.  It would be sorta like goin' to the shrink every week, right?

Thanks again for your comments!

Peace, Love & Cheerfulness 2 U All,          ~Eon

Offline GratefulDad

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #9 on: June 29, 2010, 10:10:18 PM »
Yeah, go ahead, eat it every week.  I been doing well eating it nearly that much.  I been eating it the last 3 days.  I feel so remarkably good I don't know what to do about it!  LOL  I ate 4 grams of bark Sunday, then two Monday, and 2g today.  I have been getting trails and stuff.  Especially upon awakening.  The dark makes them more intense.  It's hard to get me into a bad mood, and if I sense it starting I can see it, easily.  EAT IBOGA!!!
GratefulDad

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

RavAv

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2010, 02:11:24 AM »
* * * a gram of RB a day (morning) keeps the blues away * * *

Offline Eon T McKnight

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #11 on: June 30, 2010, 03:14:06 PM »
Rav, thanks for your advice.  I hope you can give me some additional information on the '1-A-Day' treatment plan.

I have heard that when one uses RB on a regular basis, it builds up in the system and leads to an unpleasant state of stimulation.  Along with depression, I have a big, big problem with anxiety.  My recent thought is that the anxiety is a major causative factor for my depression.

My level of anxiety rises and falls from day-to-day and hour-to-hour.  I am concerned that the stimulatory effects of RB added to the effects of a panic attack would be monumentally hard to deal with.

Are there any anti-anxiety drugs/supplements that would fit well with ongoing iboga treatment?

Thanks!    ~eon

PS  --  I have started a new topic dedicated to anxiety and its treatment.  Please post anything on the subject here:

     http://eboka.pkeffect.com/index.php/topic,299.msg2641.html#msg2641
« Last Edit: June 30, 2010, 07:07:34 PM by Eon T McKnight »

Offline roy d

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #12 on: July 09, 2010, 06:15:36 PM »

Hi GD,

Are you eating and sleeping well
while taking that much RB?

Best,

 Roy

Offline GratefulDad

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Re: Difficult & Unpleasant
« Reply #13 on: July 12, 2010, 10:01:03 AM »
Yes, I had one day that I slept most of the day actually..
GratefulDad

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."