Author Topic: Dilemma on tx or not....  (Read 3921 times)

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Offline sister

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Dilemma on tx or not....
« on: September 22, 2010, 01:06:48 PM »
I am facing a dilemma that no matter what I think the final decision is I feel like its wrong.

I have a young girl switching back and forth from sub to percs.  Mother an addict who lives upstairs and dying of Ca.  Husband is a sweetheart but very much an enabler.

She was referred to me and lives in my city.

First... I know I should never think I know more/second guess Iboga Mama.  So I think I am totally wrong at trying too.  Who am I to say who is ready, who is not.  Who am I to say what someone needs.  I think on this line of thought and I know what my answer should be.. 
"Sure, I will be your sitter for your Ibogaine TX."

then this little voice in my head (sister black) begins to talk... "why take her money when she is only looking to lower tolerance so she can get high",  " Her mother/sister/husband are so entrenched in her using, no support"  "dangerous for her now, mother will encourage her to use as soon as she has a hang nail"

Then Sister white speaks up again....  "Do I not trust Iboga to give what is needed?",  "any clean time is better then none"  "She did seek me out, I didn't go to her."

Sister Black....  "She is not researching ibogaine... She trust that it will "cure her".  "She has so many excuses to use, she can not see past her nose"  "her husband is doing the work for her to be able to pay for TX"

Sister white.....  "Again sister, who are you to judge?"

I end this conversation with myself saying.. if it is suppose to be it will happen.  then second guess this thought.  I then think I will just refer her out.  What a cop out for me, eh?

Willing to be slapped or any insight anyone has to offer.
life is a bowl of fruit, once clean

Offline x

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Re: Dilemma on tx or not....
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2010, 01:51:17 PM »
Love you, sis. Tough one, right?

Best advice, be clear and honest about your concerns when you talk to her. Say the things you said here to her. Tell her you think she may be looking for a magic bullet. Request of her to create an aftercare plan and tell her you will not be comfortable sitting with her until there is one.

Send her links to informative sites, this one is great, Lee Alberts is cool for psych explanations. Send her places that talk about how HARD it can be, and how it doesn't always work if you are not willing to make tremendous alterations in just about every area.

Of course, my opinion is strictly that, my opinion.

Checking out for awhile, catch me in emails, and as EVER, THANK YOU for being you and for all the help this last year.
Big love to you, sis.

Tia

Offline digital_phreedom

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Re: Dilemma on tx or not....
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2010, 02:43:30 PM »
I second everything Tia said, and want to add:

Patience has really been paying off for me lately when it comes to making tough decisions.. In the past I've always felt a sense of urgency to hurry and decide things and move on to a course of action. But lately what I've been doing is just waiting.. If the right answer isn't clearly visible to me, I just wait, and don't decide yet. Eventually one of two things happens. Either the right answer will make itself known at the right time, or the decision will end up being made for me. Of course there are certainly situations where this theory wouldn't apply, but for the most part I've been having great, great success like this. When I don't know what to do, I just wait, and eventually I figure out the right choice.
Embrace this moment, remember: We are eternal. All this pain is an illusion.

Offline roy d

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Re: Dilemma on tx or not....
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2010, 09:04:39 PM »

Hi Sis,

I know how you feel but it is so hard to tell who will make it and who will not.  If the person does not get it the first few times I would say wait and try again.  If she really wants to quit and you give her enough Ibo it can work.  I would say at least give her the chance.  I would also say mention to her that she must quit the bad stuff drugs, cigs, alcohol, people, places, behavior, etc.

 Roy

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Re: Dilemma on tx or not....
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2010, 11:08:19 PM »
Much love and gratitude for the teachings of "Patience" from these people'

It is down to the neophyte if they seek success in "Abstinence'' no the provider or Iboga'

When in doubt' leave it out and make the neophyte work for their clean time and also pay for their own treatment'
If they no work it themselves' they shall just chuck it away'
Also sounds as if mother requires of treatment' whilst the daughter is working for the monies for her own treatment'

I would tell her to "Work for her own treatment"
Intent is everything; and it looks to be this one is attempting to get others to "Work it" for her' N' as we all know'
If Iboga has no intent to work with' then Iboga shall just chuck "Random" at them' and most proberly shall no delete of "Base" because the neophyte has no intent to work their own treatment'

In order for any of this to scratch the surface' this lady must work on her own "Base" with guidance' but she must work at finding her own negative base patterns' because' otherwise' it be a waste of time and effort and medicine on everyones part'

I would tell her "NO" and then find out of how good she is at "Screaming" then once she is "Headless" and running upfront self truths with no disguise' then you shall see some of "Base" and know of what her true "Anchoring" is'

Then'

You shall get a better picture of if it is really worth the time and effort attempting to teach her something'
If she has no intent of "Rooting her base" then Iboga has no thing to delete'
The instant things get a little tough' first sign of pain' she shall "USE"
As this would seem to be her intent'

Blessings and Light'

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Offline Eon T McKnight

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Re: Dilemma on tx or not....
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2010, 12:19:42 AM »

Patience has really been paying off for me lately when it comes to making tough decisions.. In the past I've always felt a sense of urgency to hurry and decide things and move on to a course of action. But lately what I've been doing is just waiting.. If the right answer isn't clearly visible to me, I just wait, and don't decide yet. Eventually one of two things happens. Either the right answer will make itself known at the right time, or the decision will end up being made for me.


I second digital's advice.  Sometimes it is best to sit back and let the Universe decide these sorts of things.  Let the answer make itself known to you.

Whether she stays clean after treatment or whether it takes her years to finally get clean, it does not really matter.  Rationally determining the correct path is often impossible  --  life is so often a craps shoot.

The best way to avoid making the wrong decision is to not make any decision at all.  Let the medicine decide for you, then wholeheartedly follow the path that has been revealed.  Like you say, if it is supposed to be, it will happen.  But, you already know that...

~et
« Last Edit: September 23, 2010, 12:27:11 AM by Eon T McKnight »

Offline sister

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Re: Dilemma on tx or not....
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2010, 10:37:36 AM »
Thanks everyone.....

I like the part of not making the decission.  Have always been one that needed to know what My plan was...  I could vary to get there but needed to have a plan.  This is my life not others.

Be honest....  I think this girl wants to not be tied to a pill..  Her MD recently got busted and the covering md was not comfortable with writing her monthly scripts and let it be know he is aware of this quacks business.  This scared her.  My heart goes out to her.. I see me 30 yrs ago.  I thought with my looks/smile I had the world by the tail... so does she.

She has not contacted me since I went sailing with her hubby.... I think she now knows the gig is up.  Her husband and I really didnt discuss her... no need.  I read her too well.  He did talk about his concerns of the Mom upstairs with all the dope, the sister who is growing into addiction in front of his eyes.  ALl this the girl and I already discussed.

I do not think she is ready nor really wanting to change life.  When I went for my tx.. I was so ready and willing.. it did take another failure to show me where I was not willing.  Now things are unfolding for me.  I have been honest with her on my thoughts but not strong..she feels "different then most addicts, better then, smarter then"  as I did, took another 35 yrs to see there was no difference;

I will not contact her but wait for her to contact me... then have lunch and just put it out there.  The mom has many health problems with liver failure, cancer and in process of her end life.  I will continure to pray over this and just let it fall as it will for now.
life is a bowl of fruit, once clean