Author Topic: howdy  (Read 3353 times)

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Offline zzgone

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howdy
« on: September 14, 2009, 07:00:24 PM »
Thanks for the forum. I have an interest in ibogaine as an addiction interrupter, having had a severe opiate dependency in the late 70's to 87' In 1987 the DEA hauled me off for conspiracy to import & distribute china white from SE Asia. Upon my release I stayed clean for some 18 years only to relapse from a legitimate opiate prescription for severe pain. It took a mere 5 days to awaken into the nightmare web of addiction and when roused of course all bets are off.

I was treated 3 times with ibogaine, while none of these treatments "took" I was amazed that showing up for treatment in withdrawal and 40 minutes after ingesting ibogaine all symptoms entirely disappeared. I have to blame myself for ibogaine's failure, I would rush back to LA where my best friend and one of LA's top suppliers for both heroin and meth would be house sitting for us, he would casually throw me a stash of both..and the rest is history.   

 My relapse was compounded by a variety of opiates, speed and Ketamine for general psychosis, while my behavior became increasingly alarming to my family, they along with the owner of a Baja clinic coaxed me into signing up for a Mexican dream rehab that was touted as a vacation where I would not suffer, ride horses and swim all day. The dream evaporated into a nightmare when I was interred in what could only be called a dungeon for 14 days, given nothing to read, limited human contact and no windows.

But I walked out clean and have remained so for going on 7 months, no urges to use, the notion of ever using again is repugnant to me..while I don't attribute a successful recovery to the rehab..a far cheaper solution could have been a jail cell. In my case, I simply needed some distance from my addiction.

Again, thanks for the forum.
 

Offline Calaquendi

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Re: howdy
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2009, 08:56:02 PM »
Glad to meet you, zz....happy you found your way here. Please stick around, as you can see we're in our infancy as a community forum, but - gotta start somewhere.

Sounds like you had a rough road, I note that you do not harbor any 'hard feelings' towards iboga and/or it's ability and efficacy as an addiction interrupter. Good to see that's your attitude...a correct one if I may make so bold. When we are 'ready' for getting clean, we can get clean, and not a moment before that. Nothing will help a person until they are ready to receive that help and do what's necessary on the other side of it.

Again, thanks for introducing yourself and welcome aboard! ~C
" I am you and what I see is me..."

Offline zzgone

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Re: howdy
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2009, 11:40:41 PM »
Thanks C, I will certainly stick around. No, I don't harbor resentments toward iboga rather to the contrary, in fact, I don't harbor negative feelings toward my relapse either. We inhabit a universe that has no one sided coins or one ended sticks, a universe where creation and destruction dance together. A lot of insight can come from crawling through the dark, dark night...the best stories come from the dark places. An interesting note re addiction, current understanding is that addiction affects the lower parts of the brain..those areas that lay beyond concious awareness. Quite literally addiction is a hijacking of the brain, we become utterly helpless to do anything about it...which makes blaming the addict for his affliction insane.

It seems rather miraculous that the individual would even choose something to evict the hijacker, when I was doing federal time some "thing" occurred that instantly threw the addict out, was a good thing a bible wasn't laying around or i could have become one of those unfortunate maniacs running around praising the lord for everything. But i do know I was unable to take any credit for getting clean, I did nothing to deserve it nor did I even believe it was something I wanted. Once I was done with kicking a 4 gram a day habit of pure CW, and a year long 80mg a day methadone addiction cold turkey (the marshal upon hearing I was using both smack and methadone said "Welcome to the big time, son, here we go cold turkey!") I was bent on networking looking to expand my future empire of illicit affairs. Not 5 minutes before this 'event'occured I had been discussing a smuggling venture with an Isreali buddy...strange and amazing.

My relapse has made me passionate about helping other addicts recover by any means necessary and about fighting the war against the war on drugs. It is time all our suffering brothers and sisters should be set free from prisons and jails everywhere for something that should have never ever been construed as a crime! It is simply criminal to lock people away for drugs, while the same forces allow the two most dangerous drugs to be sold and imbibed freely. We moved from LA to Mexico in hopes of doing something with ibogaine and/or furthering the cause with either an after care or creating events where the proceeds could go toward a fund to help the addict who is unable to afford treatment, get treatment. We shall see.

Offline Eon T McKnight

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Re: howdy
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2009, 04:43:34 PM »
Dear Mr. Gone;

Just wanted to introduce myself and say "Hi."

I keep going back to your quote: "Welcome to the big time, son..."  It sounds exactly like what I would expect from a marshal  --  very cold.  Maybe they teach it in 'marshal school'?

Further thoughts on the subject ended with me still shaking my head and thinking:  "... and he was probably one of the 'nice' ones."

As you may have seen, I started a topic "Ibo in Mexico" in the Eboka Talk board.  Seems while mucking about with my own personal crap, I had no recollection of reading that you moved to Mexico with the objective of "... furthering the cause..."  Silly me!

I'll bet, though, that your post started something ticking in my subconscious which eventually led to my post.  I have not yet determined where and when my forthcoming initiation will take place.  While there would be some difficulties, for me, in making the trip, going to Mexico is still one of my top desires.

Cumulatively, I have spent about 2 years in Mexico and Central America.  Some of my most cherished spiritual experiences happened while living in Guadalajara and later in San Miguel Allende.  It would be like coming home.

Whether or not I am in Mexico for initiation, I intend to post what I am slowly learning about the possibilities in hopes that someone like me will find them valuable.

Since you are a resident there, I will REALLY appreciate any comments you may have.  Even if it's just "NFW" to one of my wakky ideas.

Good to 'meet' you, zz.

My best wishes to you and yours!

Eon McKnight

Offline zzgone

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Re: howdy
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2009, 05:49:21 PM »
Sorry, I spaced this site until I received an e-mail this afternoon. Any questions about Mexico & Iboga I would be happy to answer to the best of my knowledge. What specifically are you curious about?

Offline Eon T McKnight

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Re: howdy
« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2009, 09:39:56 PM »
zz, thanks for your reply and info offer.

I take it that you received email notification of my reply to your post.  I need to get that feature set up on my account.

I am hoping that you don't mind answering my questions in the "Ibo in Mexico" area instead of here.  I'm thinking that would be the easiest place for someone searching for such infomation to find it.

Going to Mexico (or Canada, etc.) where Ibo is legal makes good sense to me.  Aside from reduced anxiety re: authorities, not having to do the whole illegal 'drug-score' ritual would be a positive change for someone who has done that ritual too many times already.  (I'm certainly not trying to compare Eboka providers w/ dealers or pushers  --  in most ways, they are total opposites.  Just speaking @ the mindset of the one trying to kick inside the USA.)

Once I get a good question or two posted in the "Ibo in Mexico" area, I'll find some way to let you know.  Looking forward to your input/feedback!

~eon
« Last Edit: October 20, 2009, 10:04:06 PM by Eon McKnight »