Author Topic: coordinating my 2nd flood  (Read 11897 times)

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Offline tryl

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #30 on: November 26, 2010, 09:07:17 PM »
oh, and again, on GABAb-nergics.

benzos do put you to sleep, but its not a very productive healthy sleep.

on GABAb's, like baclofen, GHB, GHV, GVL, etc, put you in a deep healthy sleep, giving you incredible lucid dreams. you sleep 3 to 5 hours a day and wake up completely refreshed and ready to conquer the world (that is due to the dopamine rebound it causes... dopamine accumulates, and when it wears off, your brain is flooded with it, giving you a speedy rush upon waking up).

my year+ of GHB use was extremely productive.
"Saying is inventing. Wrong, very rightly wrong. You invent nothing, you think you are inventing, you think you are escaping, and all you do is stammer out your lesson, the remnants of a pensum one day got by heart and long forgotten, life without tears, as it is wept." –Molloy

Offline roy d

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #31 on: November 27, 2010, 11:45:40 AM »

Hi Tyrl,

I Goggled hook suspension that may be a bit on the extreme end but there are yogi and martial arts people who do this and they don't bleed.  They have some kind of organization where they do pretty big hooks.  It seems kind of scary to me that you would open a wound and put naoh in the wound similar effect as cutting I would imagine.  I don't know too much about this but it seems that eventually it will harm you or take your life for addicts in a way are extremest like the guy who can drink the most, sooner or later they find that they fried their liver.  Yea, that'll cut down on your parting.  When the liver or pancreas starts acting up it will stop the toughest in their tracks.

As for trying to make methaqualone you may be spending a lot of time and resources for something good but not worth all that effort.  To feel it you had to take 2 of the medium or strong pills about 500 - 600mg and you could get some nice sleep and wake up refreshed, they really were a decent pill.  But some were being sold on the street.  Now this is just me, there were more on the street than the Dr were writing for.  If you went to a Dr and asked for methaqualone he would kick you out, just like asking "I would like some dillies, please."  Everyone and their brother could get a 100 pills for $35.  Valiums were fifty cents or a buck and their selling methaqualone at 35 cents???   Something fishy going on.  They would probably go for 4 or 5 bucks now.

I can understand a person loving Valium, see the problems is LOVE.  If you love something that much you take it more.  Some people it is food, attention, the love of a good rush so ya gotta be careful and try and catch the problem before it becomes a problem.  You were drinking till you were on the verge of the DTs or had somewhat of a hard time - that's cutting it close.  What I am saying is don't take something you love so much it turns on ya; not that I have any room to talk or anything but why get to a state that everything you do is bad for ya? 

I think life is all about learning.  My buddy that I have known since grade school, took a lot of opiates and booze and it ruined his life to a large extent, I asked him if he could take it all over again would he drink and use dope and he said he would but not as much, yea right.  This guy got like 8 DUIs beat 4 for one reason or another and finally rolled a car and was in intensive care in a coma and ended up doing 4 to 10 years.  I kidded with him and said you would of been OK if they listened to you and he said what do you mean.  I said when you got out of the car you said call the EMS but don't call the police.  He laughed and said they come automatically.  Nice guy but addiction is such a hard thing to control.

Best to ya,

 Roy


Offline tryl

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #32 on: November 27, 2010, 01:31:20 PM »
thanks roy. :)

but i don't view hook suspension as a recreation, rather means of attaining states you do with psychedelics too.

although i am sure it could be addictive for some people.

mathaqualone... might not be worth the effort, but i've always wanted to make me some just for the hell of it. i like experimenting with different centrally active substances, and have learned a lot from that. be that paralytics, novel designer opiates, or GABAnergics.

the streets of south africa, by the way, are awash with clandestine manufactured methaqualone. it's as epedimec as the meth in oregon.

and i love valium only when i feel like it. some evenings i like nodding and forcing myself awake, while typing with my head. others i feel like utilizing my cognitive facilities.

i have been a severe junkie since high school. mostly smack, morphine, any opiate i can get, if not, whatever downer i can get ahold of. until recently, i didn't know any different. now, for the first time in so many years, i don't feel the need to constantly be on something, the urgency to escape sobriety.

i feel in control.

we'll see how long it lasts.

"Saying is inventing. Wrong, very rightly wrong. You invent nothing, you think you are inventing, you think you are escaping, and all you do is stammer out your lesson, the remnants of a pensum one day got by heart and long forgotten, life without tears, as it is wept." –Molloy

Offline roy d

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #33 on: November 27, 2010, 02:27:02 PM »

Hi Tryl,

You may of seen this video on utube - is this anything like you are interested in.  These people seem to bleed though.

URL=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0TbGOXxCk4

They don't seem to be in any pain.  It would be a good guess that they are in some type of self induced trance or altered state similar to the martial arts guys and yogi fellas.  I think I will stick with the Extreme skiing - all ya got to do is stand there and let gravity do the work - how hard can it be?

 Roy

Offline tryl

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #34 on: November 27, 2010, 03:30:39 PM »

Hi Tryl,

You may of seen this video on utube - is this anything like you are interested in. 


yes:) only without the swirling around probably.

it is much less painful than one might think. many such extreme body modifications aren't as painful as they seem.

plus, at that moment your body is flooding you with numbing adrenaline and natural painkillers.
"Saying is inventing. Wrong, very rightly wrong. You invent nothing, you think you are inventing, you think you are escaping, and all you do is stammer out your lesson, the remnants of a pensum one day got by heart and long forgotten, life without tears, as it is wept." –Molloy

Offline tryl

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #35 on: December 01, 2010, 01:41:01 AM »
so, i keep on microdosing every day.

pretty frivolously overdoing it.

i constantly see traces, and everything is crystal clear, textures, details...

my thoughts are organized and i am completely adequate.

with each passing day, discovering new things.

yesterday, staring at my potted plant in the living room, a sudden rush of ecstasy flooded me throughout my whole body, as i was struck with wonder, how could have something so complete, perfect and beautiful spring out of chaos and meaninglessness.
blind chance, yet determined. a miracle.

on a heavier dose of iboga (a cap of TA on top), staring at the TV.... to quote hunter thompson "there is no way of explaining the terror i felt at this moment". simulation inside a simulation inside a simulation, a schizophrenic void of bricolages.

was it baudrillard who said that, in the past, it was the icon that simulacra that was on the wall of every home in a russian family. and now it's the TV.

my problem with psychedelics has always been dealing with the horror of the world, how primordially and by design terrible it is.
i think i am beginning to slowly manage my way...

but i don't believe in gradual acclimatisation. or rather, i don't prefer it to the big blinding instant hammer.

thinking and considering blasting some x10 salvia (kappa sledgehammer) + dmt soon. not sure if i will do it, might not be able to come back in some time. but seriously considering it...
"Saying is inventing. Wrong, very rightly wrong. You invent nothing, you think you are inventing, you think you are escaping, and all you do is stammer out your lesson, the remnants of a pensum one day got by heart and long forgotten, life without tears, as it is wept." –Molloy

Offline tryl

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #36 on: December 01, 2010, 01:52:51 AM »
oh yea, another recent story.

a friend was over at sara's some time ago.

detoxing from methadone and H, he had just discovered the needle.

apparently he went there to just get it over with and come back to start anew with his lowered tolerance.

and so he did. he was a total scramble, a complete mess. catastrophy after a catastrophy, within less than 2 weeks.

he took a 2nd flood.

did it alone.

didn't want my help.

he almost fucked it up - took H in the morning, ate throughout the day, god knows what else, and had prepared 7gr of extract.
he didn't do it, thank fuck, managed to convince him. the day after though, upon waking up, he started eating the caps.

his gf called me 6hrs later.

he was REALLY deep into it.

i hung around, to keep his parents calm and all...

but the post-flood aftermath was both epic and disturbing.

he cried for 2hrs.

told everything to his parents and gf, hasn't stopped talking the whole day, all the lies and stupid shit he's done.

told me that now he's so interwined in his lies, he doesn't know what is truth and what is a lie. said he never wanted to lie again.

he seems calm, guilty and you could read despair in his eyes. feeling totally worthless and useless, trash.

he had broken into a home and stolen some goods which he went on to return.

but he still hasn't slept and is going psychotic. his parents i think wont listen to me, they think things have gotten worse, or i dont know. but he was talking nonsense tonight. i offered him some valium, he didn't say anything....

just worried thing don't go worse. i think if he gets some sleep, all will be fine.

but any comments or advice on this, i'd be grateful.

(oh yeah, he swallowed god knows how many clonnies, above 10mg, with zero effect, except apparent amnesia)
"Saying is inventing. Wrong, very rightly wrong. You invent nothing, you think you are inventing, you think you are escaping, and all you do is stammer out your lesson, the remnants of a pensum one day got by heart and long forgotten, life without tears, as it is wept." –Molloy

Offline GratefulDad

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #37 on: December 01, 2010, 02:03:20 AM »
He should not use any opiates at least for a brief period.  The benzos would be good to put him to sleep and he should get some sense back..  If he wants to use, he needs to take a break or it won't lower his tolerance much at all..  He'll just need more opiates when the iboga wears off, if he doesn't kill himself first..  If Klonopin isn't working, he could try valium, but I wouldn't take too many benzos at once.  Get him somewhere away from people where he can relax and rest. 
« Last Edit: December 01, 2010, 02:11:41 AM by GratefulDad »
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Offline Eon T McKnight

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #38 on: December 01, 2010, 03:30:00 AM »

... said he never wanted to lie again.


Don't be so hard on the worthless slime-bag!  A year and a few days ago (Thanksgiving, 2009), I also vowed never to lie again.  It has been an unbelievably empowering and liberating force in my life. 

(Thank the Goddess, I haven't done anything worth lying about since then.  I am still wondering what I will say when the inevitable cop pulls me over and asks me:  "You know how fast you were going?")

Your True Friend,

Eon

Offline tryl

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #39 on: December 01, 2010, 04:32:04 AM »
thanks guys.

he just arrived. looks better, but still exhausted.

gave him some valiums and clonnies...

i think he'll be fine.

"Saying is inventing. Wrong, very rightly wrong. You invent nothing, you think you are inventing, you think you are escaping, and all you do is stammer out your lesson, the remnants of a pensum one day got by heart and long forgotten, life without tears, as it is wept." –Molloy

Offline roy d

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #40 on: December 01, 2010, 08:33:42 AM »

Hi Tyrl,

Quote
but the post-flood aftermath was both epic and disturbing.

he cried for 2hrs.

told everything to his parents and gf, hasn't stopped talking the whole day, all the lies and stupid shit he's done.

told me that now he's so interwined in his lies, he doesn't know what is truth and what is a lie. said he never wanted to lie again.

Well I guess it is working.  It's kind of funny in a way for warned him not to do too much.  Not being disrespectful, I was a hard head.  It can be fun sometimes but other times can be a drag.  I really don't think there is much you can do except wait it out.  I was dying for sleep in a few days after taking some extract and I took two Restorils and it got me 20 minutes of sleep.  It sounded like a circular saw buzzing and it made two passes and I woke up; it was a nice 20 minutes though.  As far as Valiums and things like that I don't think will help for he is beyond that.  He would need a handful of Valiums which is not a good idea, let the body and mind heal.  He may of took more Ibo then necessary and he is getting the Ibo Body Slam.  He will feel better in a week and better still in two weeks, he couldy be sensitive to it.  He may find that his eating habits change or he may not like smells like cigs or soap.  Hey, why not see if you can get him to quit the cigs.  That will be better for him and serve as an indicator of how long it will stay in his system.  I cut down on sugar and coffee 90% for six months without trying.

Keep an eye on your bud, he should be fine,

  Roy

Offline tryl

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #41 on: December 01, 2010, 09:04:08 AM »

Hi Tyrl,

Quote
but the post-flood aftermath was both epic and disturbing.

he cried for 2hrs.

told everything to his parents and gf, hasn't stopped talking the whole day, all the lies and stupid shit he's done.

told me that now he's so interwined in his lies, he doesn't know what is truth and what is a lie. said he never wanted to lie again.

Well I guess it is working.  It's kind of funny in a way for warned him not to do too much.  Not being disrespectful, I was a hard head.  It can be fun sometimes but other times can be a drag.  I really don't think there is much you can do except wait it out.  I was dying for sleep in a few days after taking some extract and I took two Restorils and it got me 20 minutes of sleep.  It sounded like a circular saw buzzing and it made two passes and I woke up; it was a nice 20 minutes though.  As far as Valiums and things like that I don't think will help for he is beyond that.  He would need a handful of Valiums which is not a good idea, let the body and mind heal.  He may of took more Ibo then necessary and he is getting the Ibo Body Slam.  He will feel better in a week and better still in two weeks, he couldy be sensitive to it.  He may find that his eating habits change or he may not like smells like cigs or soap.  Hey, why not see if you can get him to quit the cigs.  That will be better for him and serve as an indicator of how long it will stay in his system.  I cut down on sugar and coffee 90% for six months without trying.

Keep an eye on your bud, he should be fine,

  Roy

i know, and that is what i am trying to explain to him. i went through the same, and now i feel better than i have ever felt in my life. penetrating into the nature and structure of everything around me. hyper-real.

but he is still thinking about opiates. talking about the gov sponsored morphine program, blabla bullshit.

asked me about acetic anhydride.

whatever he has done, and i have repeatedly warned him not to, he has always fucked up monumentally.

idk.

i did, and am doing what i can.

at the end, it's his choice.

sad, desolate, painless life in a shell. if that's what suits him...
"Saying is inventing. Wrong, very rightly wrong. You invent nothing, you think you are inventing, you think you are escaping, and all you do is stammer out your lesson, the remnants of a pensum one day got by heart and long forgotten, life without tears, as it is wept." –Molloy

Offline GratefulDad

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #42 on: December 01, 2010, 10:02:19 AM »
The main thing needed for iboga to work, is they have to really want to quit.  It won't make them want to quit.  The person needs to be sick of it all, and want to be free.  Iboga helps make it easy, but it won't change them, they must make the choices to change themselves.  Sometimes you have to let them go.  Let them do what they want until they no longer want to.  Many never make it out.  Sad part of addiction.  Some need to really lose everything to see where addiction leads.  It's tough, painful, and sad, but it's the only thing you can do.
GratefulDad

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

Offline Amantine

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #43 on: December 05, 2010, 11:10:46 AM »
May I share some personal experience with a...hmm...let's call it a half-flood accidental session that I had few days back?

Here is how it all started...

I have spent about a week, micro-dosing iboga rootbark and feeling the sensation of each movement and the flow of energy into my system. I have already taught myself to control my disorientation and lack of concentration, while under the influence of the bark. But it wasn't until a couple of days, when a heroin addict came over to our home, wanting to detox with iboga. A brief history: 28 years old, being using since 7th grade, massive abuser with a huge habit. At around 7 p.m. we started feeding him with the extract. After the given time, there were no results whatsoever. He didn't feel anything. so we started to question the quality of the extract. I, being very sensitive towards any drug/herb known to men, volunteered to take one capsule of extract, just to see how potent it was, in order to determine where the problem was. So I took it - around 1,24 gr. of TA, with a combination of the iboga rootbark, I already had in my bloodstream. Soon, the ibogaine finally started working for the patient and we put him on a soft bed with the a setting, I have had prepared for him. After an hour or so later, I started to feel the ibogaine working in my body too. I went downstairs - at the living room, where most of the lights were on. The light bulbs were exploding of energy, everything was moving in a very airily sort of way. I could see geometric traces, every time I turned my head even a little bit. Each object, to which I was paying attention to, was dissolving into pieces into my head, so I could realize the entire mechanism behind it. Suddenly, everything, absolutely everything around me was physics and mathematics. I took a glance at our wooden dining room table, and I could see, thanks to a gentle lines made out of thin air, how this wooden object looked before it was manufactured into a table. It was getting more and more incredible with every single second. Each movement was leaving beautiful traces behind, and I spent god knows how long time, just dancing and playing with my hands and enjoying the traces left behind. I felt myself so light and my movements were so airily, that I couldn't get enough.
Then, I sat on the table and my cat followed me. It stayed in a perfectly still position, examining me. The more I was looking at it, to more I realized how incredibly, beautifully evolved this creature is. A true perfection that made its way out of the complete chaos.

After couple of more hours, my brother told me he needs to take a nap (no surprise there, lol) and asked me if I was going to be able to watch out on the detoxing fella. Huh, your sis is tripping out, I thought, and you wanna take a fucking nap?! Anyways, I agreed on the deal. I am extremely responsible and protective, and after all, I did took a great deal of care afterwards.

So I went upstairs, into my room, which is right next to the room, where the guy was heavily detoxing. I realized how sharpened my senses were - I could hear him breathing, even though he wasn't breathing heavily, and I was able to catch every single one of his movements through the space between the rooms. That gave me the comfort to lay down and listen carefully. Soon, I felt myself, being sucked into a tornado - everything was moving and I was just a small, tiny and insignificant piece of this entire universe, that was moving with such a tremendous speed, that I felt sick. I realized, that what we perceived as a condition of stillness, is actually moving, but our senses in a drug-free condition could not detect that movement. Because...after all, everything is moving. The whole planet, the entire universe.
After an hour or so, without realizing it, I had closed my eyes. Suddenly, from the complete darkness, a white spot appeared. It started moving towards me, very slowly. It got closer, and closer and closer and closer, until the point, in which I saw a single pupil watching me and examining me very carefully. I immediately realized, that this would be the beginning my introvert ibogaine journey. I opened my eyes, trying to struggle with what was happening to me, but I soon realized, that one has to let go with the flow. And if this was any other moment, or any other case, I would have just let it go, but I had a responsibility, towards another human being. So I woke up, walked to his room, a second before, he was trying to get up and go to the bathroom. Helped him out, sat next to him after that, talked to him and felt that he was in safe hands. Into the hands of iboga, that was working its way through his entire body. I went back to my room.

I realized, that each time, when I close my eyes, I would feel and hear every single one of my vital organs. My heart, my liver, my kidneys, my bloodstream - everything. I had an incredible insight of what my entire anatomy is and how it functions.

Later on, after several times of waking up, checking on the detoxing guy, checking on the deeply asleep trylo, I went back. Eyes - closed again. I could feel myself sinking more and more into my own brain and conscious, going back to the very core of my own existence. My brain was thinking with the speed of light and I had hard time picking things out. At some point, another geometrical form appeared. A pyramid, with engraved details, on which I could read the entire history of this world - the Planet itself, the way it started and evolved into the world we know today. And then this pyramid started to fall apart from the top, on trillions and trillions small pieces, until it became a Chaos. Complete and utter chaos, resembling the form of our universe. By that time, I was so disconnected from what I perceived as a reality, that I desperately needed something to drag me out of this journey, that was heading me back to the dawn of creation. Not because, I was afraid of what I might see, but because I had this sense of a responsibility towards the person in the other room. And soon, for my surprise, our cat came to my room. And he never comes to my room, because I usually kick him out (he always makes such a mess!). The creature jumped on the bed, licked my nose and started purring. I went on me side and the cat did lay down on his side - in the very same position, in which I was. And it was looking at me. We stared at each other for a really long time, before I had found the energy to roll out of bed, go kick trylo in the nuts and wake him up, lol.

I did not sleep at all that night - I was in this half-asleep state of mind, a lucidity. Certain memories from my childhood flashed through my eyes, but trying to recall them, feels like trying to remember a forgotten dream.

The next day, I felt the urge of going outside, and the minute I walked out of the door and felt the fresh winter air filling my lungs, I felt like I was a part of everything, of the entire world, as I knew it. I was just a small piece of biological organism, that had evolved differently. According to my calculations, the influence of the iboga hold me for around 28-30 hours - it would've been more if I haven't took a couple of diazepams, to ease the effects, because I needed to get some good night sleep.
Some people posses all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Offline Amantine

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Re: coordinating my 2nd flood
« Reply #44 on: December 05, 2010, 01:09:18 PM »
Oh, btw, the guy who came here for detox is doing pretty fine. At some point, we thought he won't be able to return into a state of mind, where opiates are no longer craved.
He's been literally abusing heroin since 7th grade - that was one hell of a habit. He was like a 16 year old hormone teenager in the body of a 28 year old man. Heroin froze his development for years.
I hope he does well in his recovery!
Some people posses all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.