I posted this on the nexus but I was asked to share it with you too. It has been a little more than a month since I came back from Gabon. During my time there I had one of the most incredible experiences in my life, Iboga.
I cannot say that I had any specific reasons for seeking out Iboga beforehand, it was mostly out of curiosity and the only way I can describe it is as if some kind of other force helped me on the way. Before I went to Gabon I was a bit anxious. Since I don’t have any problems and I consider myself to be a very balanced person, I wondered “why fix anything that isn’t broken?” But as I learned from the holy Wood, just wanting to have a fun is probably the best motive there is. Iboga is not just about fixing, it is also about celebrating.
In Gabon I met up with Tatayo at the Ebando organization (
http://www.ebando.org/), near Libreville. Tatayo is fantastic; he’s a magician, a poet and the funniest man I’ve ever met. Moving to Gabon from France, about 30 years ago he has been doing Bwiti initiations for at least 15 years. He is like father to me now
.
At Ebando, the initiation itself is a weeklong process of catharsis, doing different baths and cleaning the body. You pray, you say your intentions and confess your sins to the spirit. Then it is time for the big day. I was able to try a small amount of Iboga before I did my initiation. It was just a spoonful, about 10-15 ml of powdered bark (roughly 5g), for me that is equivalent to 1-2 g of good cubensis, but much longer in duration. At the initiation day (or night, although I did it in the day) you should eat a lot more than that. I was told to aim for 20-25 spoonfuls (!) but I was only able to get down 13, it tastes horrible, and I didn’t want to puke everything up immediately. I also did an enema with Iboga tea a little later, just to push over the line.
A Bwiti initiation is a feast. The whole tribe gathers around the initiate and plays music and dance. The noise is overwhelming and I really believe it helps you cross over. I was shaking my Soké (a kind of penis-shaped maracas) when I felt the Iboga setting in. As I lay down my mind started to wander. Suddenly a woman appears in front of my eyes, it is a deep purple vision. Extremely strong, almost on par with Ayahuasca, it is one of the strongest visions in terms of color that I get during the initiation. Next I see a strong white light and I follow it (“don’t follow the light in the end of the tunnel, dumbass!”) and it explodes in my head, I mean really explodes – very orgasmic. A deep and soul rattling journey through the bottoms of my mind commence.
For me Iboga is the most powerful teacher I could not even imagine. It tells you anything you ask to know. Big doses are definitely nothing to be afraid of, and according to the shamans in Gabon there’s no toxicity to it. At least for me it does not feel toxic at all, on the contrary. In small doses I believe Iboga is great for astral magic. It can really open the third eye, and let you explore and alter the visions as you like. However, the visuals are not as clourful as with DMT or other tryptamines and much subtler. I know many people don’t even notice the visuals with Iboga. But as some of my visuals were really strong it seems to point to that maybe there is a deeper level at 20-30 spoonfuls away. Another thing with Iboga is that it is so extremely psychedelic and introspective. While tryptamines take you to outer space, Iboga takes you to the inner space.
I had asked the Iboga spirit to show me love, magic and ecstasy. I was given all three. I really understood that I am living my life as I want to and I am the person that I want to be. I felt love for myself as in a way I had forgotten. Iboga can really take me back into that natural state that I once had in my childhood.
As I go deeper into myself I meet a man living in my brain. He is a small dwarf working in a kind of control room with lots of buttons and panels, close to the amygdalae. He is responsible for me forgetting dreams so easily. He locks up my dreams. I throw him out of the control room and destroy the door to it, so that he cannot lock them up anymore. Here is the funny thing, it worked! I really remember my dreams more easily now and I constantly keep remembering dreams that I’ve had a long time ago, even years back.
I met other spirits too, one is a cat. It is a small domestic cat, very cute but a bit unruly. She keeps joking with me and I can’t stop laughing. Afterwards I have felt the presence of a cat animal, but more of a big animal like a tiger. It is not the first time that I pick up spirits in a journey and they can really be helpful, appearing when you need them the most. I a few days after the initiation I also found a small toy in the shape of a tiger on the beach.
One of the most lasting teachings that I was given was the understanding of magic. I am talking about real occult knowledge (magick, sorcery, wood-oo…) I learned that it is all a big mind trick and being a magician is about believing. This is the difficult part though, believing in something that seems so obviously untrue. Rituals and belief systems are there to make you believe, but a powerful magician can choose to believe in anything. I was also told of a way to cast enchantments, by using toys or the hands, playing the scene you will to happen.
The trip itself lasts for about 15 hours? But I felt very odd for a couple of days afterwards and it really took me three days before I was in my normal state again. I must say that I feel really good now though. Iboga stays with you for a long time and this is an ally you want to keep close.
It is like silk.
Hasta el victoria, siempre!
/Dibenga
